Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.
REVISED: March 30, 2013
A/N: Alrighty, even I thought this chapter was a lil' weird. Heh. Also, some parts got changed completely with this revision.
Breathe
Chapter 19: Breaking Point
By: LadyYuina
Tears rolled down Kantrou's cheeks like rapid waterfalls as he placed a hand on Youko's tomb. This time he came alone so Haruka wasn't around to comfort him. Kantarou laughed as he cried, feeling sympathetic for himself. He hadn't realized how dependent he was on his youkai friends; he never really thought about it until Youko died.
"Um, okay, I'll call it Youko!" Just as the name was spoken a little orange fox popped out of thin air, and the fox pillar crumbled. The youkai was a small little thing, and her large blue eyes looked up at him curiously. Kantarou clapped his hands together in delight. He was acting as if he was in a magic show arena. "Hi, Youko! It's nice to meet you!"
The fox youkai simply stared at him, nose sniffing the air. Having never been known to fear youkai, he reached out a hand to pet the creature, not caring if he was going to be bitten or not. The child smiled when the fox youkai purred almost like a cat, as she leaned into his caressing hands.
"It's nice to meet you too, Master," Youko replied. Kantarou stopped petting her, surprised that she called him Master.
"I'm your Master?"
"Of course you are. You were the one that released me from the pillar. I don't know how long I've been trapped in there."
A loud popping noise rung through the silver-haired boy's ears as white smoke surrounded Youko. Once the smoke faded away Kantarou was standing in front of a naked girl. He immediately turned around, cheeks flushing a bright crimson. He'd never seen a naked woman before, youkai or not.
"Is something wrong, Master?"
"Whoa, look at that chick!" Someone called out from not too far away. A man standing beside him whistled. Youko ducked behind her little Master when the two men approached them. "Hey there, Missy, wanna have some fun with me and my pal?"
"This is my Master, I'm not going to desert him," she replied. Kantarou tensed when both of the men looked at him, and it wasn't surprising when they burst out laughing. Their laughter only made him blush harder. He almost fell back when Youko hugged him to herself.
"How the heck could such a runt like him snag a hot one, eh?" one man wondered.
Youko was quick to defend. "Don't talk badly of him! He gave me my name!"
"Hahahahaha, what is your name then, Missy?" one of the men asked. "My name is Tai and the guy here in the red bandanna is my friend, Ryou."
"Youko."
"I see. Youko matches you perfectly! You're a very foxy lady!" Ryou took a step towards Kantarou and Youko.
"Best regards to my Master."
"Hey kid, how about you hand her over to us. You don't seem like the type that can watch out for themselves anyway," Tai told him. Kantarou frowned as Ryou laughed, his big belly shaking like a giant blob.
Voice trembling, Kantarou defiantly replied, "no!"
"You hear that, Tai? The kid said no! What do you think we should do?" He had a smug look on his face. Kantarou was beginning to fall into a panic, because he didn't know what to do in this predicament. "By the way, how old are you, kid?"
Kantarou answered truthfully. "Ten . . ."
"I thought you were seven!" Ryou teased. "You're pretty small to be a ten-year-old!"
Kantarou opened his mouth as if to speak, but he ended up not saying anything. Instead, he puffed out his chest and stood as tall as he could and began to walk away, with Youko immediately trailing behind him. Oddly enough the men did not follow them; he never turned back to check.
Before they reached the clearing to go down to the town the child took off his tiny gi for Youko to cover herself.
"Here. I don't want to keep walking around with you like this."
"What do you mean?" asked the fox youkai.
"I . . . I don't want what happened back there to happen again. We're only going to get unwanted attention."
"Is that so? If Master tells me to, then I will do as you wish."
She proceeded to wrap herself but it was a tad bit too small.
"It doesn't fit, Master."
"Just . . . Just cover what you can!"
"All right."
However, Youko attracted a lot of attention as they strolled through the town to his home . . .
Daylight was nearing its end as Kantarou sat stooped over his beloved youkai's tomb. His eyes were red and aching from the much needed crying he had done. A long sigh escaped his parted lips, and he felt like something inside of him had died; it flickered out, threatening to never return again no matter what he tried to do.
In the back of his mind he knew Haruka was going to look for him if he didn't return home soon.
"So this is where you are." Kantarou looked up at the Tengu. Haruka found him sooner than he had anticipated. "It's getting late, so why are you still out here?"
Kantarou was glad for the coming night, for it made his face harder to see. He didn't want Haruka to notice he had been crying.
"I don't want to go home yet."
"The nights are getting chillier. It wouldn't be nice if you caught another cold."
"No, I'll be fine. It's not like we visit them often, right? And since you're here, let's stay a bit longer."
"We came the other day."
"Well, I came again today. If you're going to act like that, go back first then."
"No. I'm not going to leave you alone out here."
Kantarou smiled, reassured by the Tengu's words. He reached out his hand and beckoned to Haruka.
"But listen . . ."
"Hm?"
"I've always wanted to ask this. What are you going to do once I am gone? I know I can't live as long as you, so I've always been curious."
"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?" Haruka reprimanded.
He indeed had thought about it. Plenty of times, in fact, but to hear it from the one he treasured most was rather unsettling. He hadn't expected to answer such a question yet, especially when Kantarou was nowhere close to being an old man.
"Detachment might not be such a bad idea, you know. It'd hurt less in the end. I think I've let this run its course through my mind as well. Perhaps . . . For some time now."
Confused, Haruka searched his Master's face, trying to find some reasoning for his words.
"Don't say any more. Such talk is stupid."
"Relax, I'm not being serious! Geeze!" The sudden turn of tone and attitude took Haruka by surprise. "If you distanced yourself from me now, I'd surely-"
"Kantarou, you asshole!"
The small man laughed but quickly yowled in pain when Haruka gave a smarting thump to the head.
"Joke like that again and I'll make you sorry you ever said it."
"Okay, okay, okay! I give! I surrender! No more!"
A joke, huh? Just how much of it isn't the truth, Kantarou?
"You two ready?" Suzu looked from Youko to Rosalie; she stood in the center, hand clasping each one of the other girls' hands. Youko nodded, indicating that they were set. "Okay, here goes nothing!"
White light engulfed the three of them.
Youko awoke to the sound of laughter - everything around her was white, like the place had been ploughed in with snow. Rosalie sat beside her, silently watching small figures hover above her head. Suzu was nowhere to be found.
"Where's Suzu?" Youko asked.
Did she get separated from us? Where'd she go?
"Suzu went into the room with the big door." She pointed a finger at a black-colored door. "She told me to wait here for her. She said you too, once you wake up, so we wait here."
Unbeknownst to the other two, Suzu was heralded into a big circle among other spirits. She, as one of the thirteen spirits, had to decide what their next plan of action was going to be. Everything - all this mess, it revolved around Kantarou, Haruka, and Dirina.
The witch's biggest scheme had yet to be revealed, though Suzu now realized it was going to be something big. The other spirits talked of her as if she was a threat to humanity. Suzu found it hard to believe . . .
If she was a threat to humanity then why only target Kantarou and Haruka?
There were many flaws to the spirits' plans, but she wasn't going to interject.
"This shall be perfect!"
Slender fingers ran themselves across the rough material known as paper. Words of the past singed its surface with a fiery red glow. Dirina's lips curved up in an devilish grin. The moment of truth had finally come.
"Rekkugen, wait for me, I'm coming for you."
Dirina began to chant as she laid the papers down in a neat pile. Her malicious voice floated around the room, and all soon fell silent save for the murderous hum now droning into her ears.
On their way home Kantarou remained tight-lipped as Haruka tried to spark up a conversation with him. In all his pain and anger he didn't feel like talking. Due to Haruka's constant chattering the spiritualist was sure he didn't pick up on the new mood in the slightest. But still, Kantarou thought it was nice to listen to Haruka; he had a nice voice.
"Kantarou, are you listening?"
He nodded against the Tengu's back, answering him in silence. In all of the time that they've been together, he never once thought of himself as a meaningful person to Haruka . . .? Was this how it really was? Slightly confused, Kantarou merely let his mind roam.
In fact, had anything changed much from long ago?
Kantarou knew words alone were at best, cheap. Actions, far less so, but even they could be pretended – false.
However, Haruka never did anything on purpose to hurt me. And nor had he shown any signs of disinterest in me . . . Nothing seems to be wrong so why this sudden feeling of a growing distance?
Kantarou couldn't fathom it.
During the following day Kantarou's anxiety continued to grow, and had become so bad that he refused to let Haruka touch him. The continual sudden onrushes of feelings were gnawing at him. There was no explanation but, he felt, and they all felt real, so very real.
Kantarou pushed Haruka's hand off his shoulder. "Just stay away from me."
"What's with you?" Hurt, the Tengu wanted an answer. "Why are you acting this way all of a sudden? Have I done something wrong?"
"No. No, that's not it. I can't . . ." Kantarou looked at him, eyes almost pleading. "Please, just leave me alone."
What else could Haruka do? The odd change in his master made him suspicious, but the sad reality was he had nothing to pin it to. 'Dirina', he wanted to say, but if he had, then what? What proof did he have that it was her doing?
"It's me, isn't it?" When his master failed to respond, he added, "all right, I'll leave. Rest well; I'll be back tomorrow."
And with that he left for the night and went to Sugino and Muu-chan's place.
"So, you're saying he's had an attitude change out of the blue?" Sugino asked.
"Not quite, but I'm not sure what's going on."
"Maybe it's what the humans call a mental meltdown, or was it a mental breakdown? But either way, he's probably messed up in the head now."
"Muuuu-mu-mu-mu!"
"What? You sure, Muu-chan? What makes you think there's someone behind it?"
"Mu-mu!"
"Cause you know so?" Sugino took on a flabbergasted look. "Now look here, don't go saying unnecessary things in front of Haruka. This might be for the best. Humans and us Tengu should have never intermingled in the first place."
"Maybe it's me."
"Excuse me?" Sugino strode up to his fellow Tengu, nostrils aflame. "How could you even think of blaming yourself? It's not you! It's that damn human! No one's put him into such a position but himself! Get that through your thick skull and you'll feel much better, trust me!"
"Muu-mu."
"My love, don't apologize! It's not your fault! None of us are to blame, you both hear me! None of us are to blame!"
When Haruka returned home the next morning, he quickly noted how deathly quiet it was. His only thought was to head to Kantarou's room, but upon him reaching it an immediate chill took over his body.
He placed a hand to the wall, trying his hardest to remain standing. From where he was he could see his Master sitting on the floor, listlessly staring at a section of the wall. He willed his mouth to move, to call out to the man, but no sound came forth.
"That human no longer loves you, can't you tell?" The sound of a feminine voice suddenly filled his ears. "I've waited so long for you. Why don't you come back to me instead?"
He shook his head, trying to dispel the voice.
"You need no longer leave your memories dormant. They are a part of you – you must remember."
Haruka's eyes started to turn black as his pupils began to dilate painfully. In an attempt to break free he clumsily staggered towards his Master, watching his backside all the while. It was at that moment that the cold feeling and the woman's voice both dissipated.
The spiritualist yelped in surprise and turned around so fast that Haruka fell forward. He backed away quickly, avoiding the Tengu like he was some kind of plague. Haruka breathed in and out heavily, trying to regain his posture as his terrified Master watched him. In the other man's eyes he saw Haruka as a creature from the abyss - dark and ominous, ready to devour him.
Small red eyes opened a fraction too late. An ear-splitting scream aimed at the heavens filled the surrounding area. The child automatically pushed both hands up against his ears as he closed his eyes once more. And then someone spoke . . . He leaned in closer towards the familiar voice. It belonged to monk Nanao.
"Kantarou, don't open your eyes! No matter what do not open them!" the monk snapped.
"Don't!" a woman's voice cried out.
He nodded, much too afraid and cold to do anything else. Rain pelted down on them, hitting their skin hard enough to make it sting.
Why was it raining so hard? Why am I hearing all this noise? Why can't I open my eyes?
The silver-haired boy could feel sharp talons threaten to break the surface of his skin. A snarl came so close to his ear that he could feel its warm breath upon his face.
Don't open my eyes! Monk Nanao told me not to open my eyes!
"Kantarou." He felt a gentle nudge to his arm. "Kantarou, wake up. Are you having a bad dream?"
He slowly opened his eyes and an automatic blush crept up his cheeks when he noticed how close his and the Tengu's faces were. He made as if to sit up, but was gently held in place by Haruka's hand.
"You're trembling. Are you all right?"
Brows furrowing, he said, "I think so."
"Wanna talk about it?"
Kantarou shook his head. "No, I'd rather not. But . . ."
"Yes, what is it?"
"Oh, never mind."
Something else also tugged at his memory. What it was exactly, he couldn't remember.
"Are you all sure this is going to work?" All of the spirits looked at the girl. "I mean . . . This won't hurt Kantarou, would it?"
"Why does it bother you whether he gets hurt or not?" one of them asked.
Suzu looked to the one who spoke and quickly took note of her dark green hair and murky blue eyes. If she recalled correctly, the woman was known as Dasarani.
"It bothers me because he is my friend."
"How touching!" The woman let out a low laugh. "You should know that as a spirit of one of the thirteen you must feel indifferent when it comes to what is best for the fate of Japan."
"I'm aware of that," Suzu retorted.
"You're the latest fledging to come here, so your words will be pardoned. However, don't take what is means to be one of us lightly."
"I understand."
"Good. Let us begin then. Please recite your name in the order of your summoning. Dasarani."
"Hikei."
"Rouna."
"Tatsuza."
"Yoji."
"Hakkui."
"Rinna."
"Kokuji."
"Hidema."
"Ina."
Suzu pursed her lips for a moment as she gazed all around the room. None met her gaze except for Dasarani. She nodded and Suzu spoke.
"Suzu."
"Tou."
"Zaitsu."
Dasarani stood and said, "that seems to be everyone. Let us begin."
Chapter 19: END
