Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?
Breathe
Chapter 22: Change of Heart
By: LadyYuina
"Rosary, what do you think is taking Suzu so long? She's been in there for quite a while now . . ." The blonde haired girl shrugged, she never took her emerald green eyes off the door. "Well . . . Anyways, I wonder what time it is?"
"I can still hear my daddy's voice," Rosary finally said, "he won't stop crying."
"Gee, he sure loves you a lot . . . a little too much if you ask me. If only he had the mind to let you go and move on." Rosary looked at her, her green eyes clouding over. "Erm, he and Kan-chan aren't too different, even that silver haired Master of mine moped over Suzu for a long time."
"I see. That means that Kantarou loves Suzu very much."
"Yeah, he did. For reasons even I wouldn't have thought of," Youko replied.
Heart filled with longing Rosary wanted nothing more than to go home and be with Hasumi. His endless tears were drowning her, making her sink lower and lower towards the bottom of an unseen ocean floor. How far down can she fall until she reached the bottom?
"Suzu!" Youko called out in relief. The blonde haired child turned her gaze in the general direction of Youko's. Suzu stood a little ways from them in front of the large lion emblazoned doors. Her shoulders were sagged and her expression was filled with worry. Without a doubt Youko knew that something was troubling the girl. She had to ask . . . "Are you okay?"
Suzu gave them both an apologetic smile. She no longer looked flushed, but Youko could still see an angry determined look in her eyes. It made her wonder what Suzu was doing inside the room on the other side. Ichi approached the girl and nuzzled her nose into her hand, Suzu smiled down at her. (Youko and Rosary, on the other hand, had no idea where Ichi came from since they didn't see her anywhere before.) Her heart was heavy with doubt at the moment, everything that had been discussed previously tackled at her mind. She couldn't see what the thirteen, or rather twelve souls were doing was just at all. However, this was only her opinion so she had no say in the matter since the entire team (including her) voted an okay on it. Still, afterwards she tried to reason with the others; she, being the newest member and second replacement for the thirteenth spirit didn't have much respect yet - unlike Dasarani and some of the other individuals. Sadly, it seemed Dasarani had the most influence over everyone though . . .
"Sorry, Youko, Rosary, and Ichi . . . I've made you all wait so long for me. I didn't expect it to go on and on . . ."
She didn't answer Youko's question although the fox youkai knew she wasn't all right.
"It wasn't a problem, I'm sure whatever you were talking about in there must have been important," Youko made sure to say.
"Youko, thank you for being so understanding," Suzu breathed out, happy that Youko wasn't going to pry her for answers. At the moment, she only wanted to keep it to herself and amongst the other spirits.
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"You look distracted, Kantarou, perhaps you should take a break," Haruka suggested. He watched Kantarou furiously scribble on a piece of paper; he was going so fast that it was hard to decipher what he was writing. "It's hard to read what you've written."
"Don't worry," Kantarou slowed down a bit, but he still didn't stop writing, "I don't plan to turn this one in."
Haruka snorted as he continued to stare down at his Master's paper. "Seems to me like you're running out of time. Shouldn't Reiko be here soon?" Kantarou cringed at the mention of her name. "I figure you are going to turn this messy draft in, huh? That's what you get for waiting till the last minute."
"You be quiet!" Kantarou peevishly snapped. "I'm your Master so don't criticize me!"
A soft knock on the door could be heard. Panicking instantly Kantarou stood up and bolted for it. He didn't get very far though, because Haruka snagged him by the collar of his white colored gi. Kantarou almost tripped over himself although he was able to regain his posture quickly.
"You're not going anywhere. Reiko is waiting outside, you better go talk to her. There is no way I'm going to deal with her annoying rants," Haruka explained.
"Why does this always have to happen . . .?" Kantarou groaned.
Haruka lifted him up with ease and carried an unwilling spiritualist towards the front door. Opening it both of the men saw the brunette haired woman staring angrily at them with her arms crossed, a big red pen in hand.
"I assume you are finished and ready for minor revisions?" Kantarou sweat dropped. "Right?"
"Well . . . Um . . . What if I said no?"
"That's it, prepare to die, Kantarou! You've made me look like a bad editor for the last time!" Red and brown eyes widened in surprise, Reiko produced a chef's knife from beneath her blouse. "I should have done this long ago!"
"Aaauuuuuhhhhhhh! Reiko, you don't have to take it this far!" Kantarou wriggled free from Haruka's hold to run away from the crazed woman. "Reiko, come on, give me another chance!"
The figure behind him seemingly got closer and closer until he was sure he felt something go amiss . . .
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Kantarou's insides lurched and a gasp of air escaped his lips. The first thing that filled his vision when he opened his eyes was a dark, damp room with a musty smell of fungus, and plants too wilted to be recognized. Everything was silent except the horrible rasping sounds of his abnormal breathing; he even broke out in a cold sweat. Reiko's crazed appearance was still plastered into his mind, though it seemed like it had all been a dream. Kantarou slowly turned to the left when he heard someone approaching.
"About time you've woken up, I was getting bored waiting. Heh, she thought she could hide you from me, it's rather funny."
A long howling laugh resonated around the room. Somewhat frightened Kantarou sat upright and looked around in a tense manner. He couldn't see the owner of the voice, but he could hear him.
"What do you want?" Kantarou managed to choke out.
"Poor Kantarou, I merely want to have a little chat." He stepped out of the shadows and into the dimly lit lights. "Surely, you must remember me."
"Ha . . ." he couldn't find the voice to say his name.
"We meet again. Can you still hear the cries of your mother on that particular rainy day?" Spreading his arms out wide and cackling, he playfully added, "I had so much fun!"
Anger quickly replaced whatever fear Kantarou was feeling at the moment. He could clearly recall what happened on that tear drenched day, oh, how could he forget? Shuddering involuntarily he could still feel the hard droplets of rain pouring down upon him; stinging him.
A low, pained grunt echoed around the room when Rekkugen had Kantarou pinned down against the cold slab of pavement used as a bed. A growl rose from his throat. "Haruka . . . was that the name you were trying to say? That's just some stupid name you came up with, my real name is Rekkugen, not Haruka. You humans are such detestable creatures, claiming youkai as your servants and giving them a name. You should know how much I hate that human trait . . . Such arrogance!"
Kantarou merely stared up at the Tengu, he was well aware of how arrogant humans could be though that wasn't important at the moment in their current situation. "Just . . . Just give me back Haruka, that's all I want." The spiritualist didn't flinch when he felt the Tengu's nails dig deeply into his arms with his long nails. His face was drained of all emotion; much like a mannequin who had awkwardly toppled over without feeling pain.
"You bore me," Rekkugen announced, quickly getting off of the smaller man. "I don't know why she insists on keeping you alive."
A door opened and closed. Kantarou was once again sealed in complete darkness. The only difference now was that he was awake instead of asleep.
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Finding it suddenly heard to swallow Kantarou settled to coughing. He forcefully coughed and coughed until tears stung at the corner of his eyes. What he had feared the most for Haruka finally became a reality; it was a truth he never wished to discover. Haruka, or rather Rekkugen's cold, unfeeling eyes was still felt all around the room. It was as if they were boring into his soul.
Tears finally flowed freely down his pale cheeks.
"Haruka . . . Haruka . . . Haruka!" Kantarou shouted over and over. "After all this . . . I've failed to let you remain the way you were . . . I've miserably failed you!" He furiously wiped at his eyes with the sleeves of his gi. "Was this really centered around me like I thought it was? Or was it revolving around you?"
"Kan-chan . . ."
"Huh?" Kantarou looked up briefly before bowing his head down again.
"Be strong . . ."
"I can't."
"Believe in yourself . . ."
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Youko breathed the words out, wishing so desperately that her Master would hear her words. She didn't know whether he was fine or in utter despair at the moment, but she wanted to give him support nonetheless. After all, he made her trip to the other side a lot faster, she wouldn't be able to thank him enough.
"Kan-chan . . ." she had whispered, "be strong . . . believe in yourself."
Rosary and Youko gasped when their feet were no longer touching solid ground. They both looked to Suzu who wisely nodded, indicating that they were all going to be fine. Reaching out both her hands she signaled for the child and fox youkai to take a hold of them.
"Hang on tight and don't let go," Suzu told them.
"Okay," Rosary and Youko replied in unison.
Without warning Youko felt as if she was pushed roughly forward from behind, it nearly knocked the wind out of her. She looked up only when the lurching movement abruptly stopped, it had only been a few seconds before they finally arrived at their haven: the afterlife. Suzu let go of their hands and bowed before them. What happened next was totally unexpected. Rosary stretched out her arms as she held her dearest doll towards Suzu.
Looking at it, Suzu asked tenderly, "for me?" Rosary nodded and smiled. "But why?"
"Thank you for everything you've done for me."
A gust of wind passed by them, forcing Youko and Suzu to shield their eyes from the sudden attack to their delicate pupils. Ichi barked and ran around in circles. The wind died down only to reveal that where Rosary had once been standing was now unoccupied; she vanished.
"What happened to her?" Youko asked worriedly.
"It's all right, Youko, she's fine." Suzu hugged the green plushy to herself to feel a warm sensation overtake her dead form. It was the feeling of friendship, something Suzu hadn't felt in a long while. "She's gone on to another plane, I'm sure she's happy where she is now. I must admit I didn't expect something like that, however it was her choice to make."
"If you put it that way," Youko clasped her hands together, "then I'm fine with it."
"Well, we are at the gate to the afterlife, are you ready to truly deem yourself as a dead spirit?" Suzu placed her hand on the door handle and waited for her response. (Youko was amazed, she hadn't even realized that there was door in front of them until now.) "Just let me tell you, if you go through there's no turning back."
"I understand." Youko took a step forward and looked at the door for a long while. In her mind she was ready to accept her fate as a true undead being, but in her heart she still longed to return to her Master's side. A dull painful aching in her chest became profound, her heart desired something her mind did not. "Okay, open the door . . ."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes . . . Please do it now."
Before I change my mind. There's no turning back at this point. At least I'll still be able to watch him from above.
The door opened all the way, a gentle breeze lapped her hair and kimono sleeves as she walked on in. All was silent when the doors closed behind her.
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Haruka awoke to the sounds of a soft wind chime, looking above him he saw the small crystalline object twinkle in the wind as the little bead within struck at it's sides. Dangling in the center was a long thin strip of silk that symbolized the days of early spring. It was the color of pale blue with magnolia flowers decorating it. The scent of sweet incense filled the Tengu's nostrils - he inhaled deeply.
"Is the air that fragrant?" he hear someone ask. Turning around he saw his Master holding a tray with two beautifully crafted tea cups. "I've brought you some tea." Picking up a cup he handed it to him with one hand: Haruka didn't mind the unmannerly gesture though. "Here."
"Thank you." Haruka took the steaming cup and blew on it, forcing the steam to blow towards the sky. Kantarou watched him for a moment before settling down next to him, he too, blew on the steam within his cup. "You know, Kantarou . . ."
"What?"
"Today feels a little strange, doesn't it?"
"Why do you say that?" Kantarou looked at him worriedly. "Are you feeling ill?" Haruka shook his head. "Then . . ."
"Never mind, let's just say the midday sun has fried my brains."
What Haruka said wasn't too far from the truth, it literally felt as if his mind was in a cauldron filled swirling thoughts and emotions. The only problem was he was having a hard time sorting through them. Looking down at his cup he noticed a tea stalk standing stiffly on it's side within his cup. To the Japanese this was considered a sign of good things to come to one's way.
"Oh, your tea stalk!" Kantarou exclaimed, leaning in closer towards Haruka to get a better look. "You just received good luck on your side!"
"Heh, I don't feel any luckier," Haruka remarked. He placed his tea cup down and sighed, he closed his eyes and hung his head; it was the appearance of meditation. "I know you're staring at me, Kantarou."
"I-I'm sorry!"
Kantarou looked away in another direction, his eyes traveled to the nearby maple trees that grew in the towards the west. He could feel a warm hand creep up on the side of his arm. Within seconds he was feeling the beats of the Tengu's heart, it was rapid in it's course to send blood throughout his body. A slow blush crawled up on the spiritualist's cheeks, he was now very conscious of where Haruka's hands were aiming for. A firm hand went towards one of Kantarou's buttocks, giving it a light squeeze. Kantarou whimpered a strangled squeak in response as he tried to move away, however, Haruka's hold on him didn't allow him to go anywhere.
"Now I'm feeling a little lucky," Haruka breathed into his ear.
As usual, Kantarou tried to coax the Tengu to reconsider. His eyes became sparkly and he reasoned, "come on, Haruka, this doesn't necessarily make you lucky. How about we go buy a lottery ticket or try out a little gambling . . . perhaps that will prove if you're lucky or not."
"I think I'd rather spend time with you," Haruka purred seductively.
"Really now, Haruka, that's awfully flattering and all, but I think we should be doing something less physical?"
"Are you still scared?" Haruka brushed a clawed hand along the jaw line of Kantarou's right cheek. The silver haired man meekly nodded. "However do you think you'll get over this fear if you'll never try again?" At that question Kantarou looked up at him while shrugging. "So what will your answer be?"
"No."
"No, eh?" Haruka laughed and released his Master. "I guess it can't be helped, it's really too bad."
Chapter 22: END
