Maybe We Need a Break

"Okay, we could adopt a kid... But Mac, I really want my own. Can't we just try again?" Rod said in frustration heading back towards their bed.

"Rod, I can't go again, I can't do this anymore." Mac said leaning against the door frame.

"Mac... please just one more time."

"No," Mac said in frustration, "I suggest you find someone else to carry your seed Rod, because obviously, I can't help you." Mac shouted slammed the door to the bathroom. She needed to be alone. She sat limply on the toilet and cried.

"I don't want anyone else Mac, you know that." Rod said coming to the door and resting his forehead on it immediately regretting pushing one more try.

"I just can't do this anymore." Mac cried, "I've never felt like such a failure in my life."

"You're not a failure."

"There is nothing wrong with me; there is nothing wrong with you. Why can't I seem to hold on to the children I do conceive." Ma placed her head in her hands.

"Maybe we should try another way." Rod said opening the door and making his way to her slowly. He hated to see her crying. He reached out and ran a hand through her long red hair. "We haven't tried..."

Mac shook her head, "No... I can't. Maybe we should just quit." she motioned between them. "Maybe we should take a break, I don't want to resent you but I'm beginning to."

Rod dropped his hands. Rod stared at her, how long had she been thinking about this? Was he hearing her right? "What do you mean?"

"I think that, this whole thing, has strained our marriage to the point where we may need to be apart... so that we can reevaluate us."

Rod's mind was reeling; he could not believe what he was hearing. "You want to separate? Why?"

"I've been thinking about it for some time now. I need some time to adjust to this. So I'll go to Mom and Dad's for a while." Mac stood up.

"Don't bother," Rod said bitterly turning away from Mac. "I have a client in New York that I need to tend to. I'll just move my case files to the city, and I'll stay there."

Mac nodded, "fine." She said then walked out of the bathroom. "I'm going out; will you be home when I get back?"

Mac turned to look at her husband. Rod stared back, searching her eyes. He saw so much conflict in her eyes, but what overruled it all was resentment. She resented him, wanted him to be gone. He wanted to be there for her; wanted to hold her until she felt better. But she looked at him so disdainfully that he stepped back. "Probably not."

Again she nodded and walked out of her home. She was a chin quivering, eyes tearing and snotty mess. She sat in her car a few minutes before starting it and heading away from home. She didn't know where she was going, but she had to get the hell away from there.


"I don't know Mike; it's just so hard to be around him lately." Mac said downing the remainder of her sixth Margarita. Mike had walked in two drinks before having made the fortunate mistake of calling her. She had sounded rather odd to him, and asked her what she was doing. He immediately took off for The Barking Dog, hoping that no one would take advantage of his friend.

"What do you mean?" Mike asked watching her down her drink. He worked with Mac at the firm. Having known each other from college, Anthony Prado set them both up for interviews there. Never in all the time he had known her, had he ever seen this woman so far gone.

"It's like all we ever do is argue, and talk about having kids and I'm sick of it. I'm not even sure I want kids." Mac said beginning to ramble. Mike knew this wasn't true. Mac was hurt and disappointed. He could see the hurt in her eyes when she said that. "The sex sucks you know. We're just going through the motions. There are no emotions involved anymore."

"Mac I don't want to know..." Mike said squirming in his seat. He was still in deep like for this woman, and he didn't want to hear this. Even though she rejected him as a boyfriend, she was still his good friend, so he listened.

"I'm serious... At first... My god we were at it like Rabbits and it was good." Mac said signaling for another margarita. "But lately it's all scheduled, and dry. There is no foreplay it's just sex, then good night. We haven't made love in a year."

"Mac..."

"I hate being used like some sort of sperm bank Mike," She said a bit angrily. Mike put an arm around her and pulled her close. He held her while she cried there was nothing he could say.

"Its okay hon. you don't ever have to be used like that again." He whispered.

"You wouldn't do that to me would you Mike?" Mac turned her head facing Mike's neck and she kissed it. "Because I know you love me."

"Mac, you're drunk honey, let's go home." He said moving to walk her to the car.

"Wait," Mac said reaching for the last margarita and taking as much of it in as she could. "It would be a shame to waste this."

"Mac you've had enough lets go." Mike said holding her up with one arm and dropping a bunch of money on the table.

"Mike, do you love me?" Mac said as mike helped her into the passenger seat.

"Of course I do." He said buckling her up.

"Rod doesn't love me you know." Mac said softly, "He wouldn't have left if he did."

"You asked him to leave Mac." Mike said pulling out of the parking lot and heading to his friends house.

She was quiet to the point that Mike thought she had fallen asleep. "He shouldn't have left." He heard her say softly.

"Maybe he didn't leave." Mike answered. But when they got to her house, it was dark. Rod never left her without light. "Got your keys?"

She shook her hand jingling the keys there, and he handed them over to him. He walked to her side and pulled her out of the car holding her flush against him as he opened the door. Mac stared at his neck then leaned her face closer and kissed his neck. "Make love to me." She whispered, "I miss Love."

"Mac, I wouldn't make love to you today, even if you were sober. I know you won't remember this tomorrow, so I'm going to tell you. I will always want you, but you belong to Rod. So even if I gave you my love, all I would be getting from you is your body. I would need all of you." With that he pushed the door open and brought her to her living room couch.

Outside Rod drove by the house, He wanted to beg to stay. He should never have told her he would leave. But he saw the scene. He saw Mac kiss Mike's neck.

Mike, that bastard was always trying to take Mac from him. He had once told him as much. Rod had taken him up on that challenge. He really liked Mackenzie, and he wasn't going to step aside just because her friend was too afraid to make his move when he had the chance.

Mike just couldn't take that Mac had chosen Rod over him. Well, the way Stanton was holding on to her, told Rod that Mike was going to get his wish and that they were getting ready to do the one thing that Mac only grudgingly gave him lately.

His insides twisted into knots. He felt sick, Mac was in the arms of another, and here he was ready to apologize for being so insensitive and selfish. He grew resentful and drove away. If that's the way she wants it, so be it.