Chapter 21 – Vengeance
The scream that broke out was the scream of a person that lost everything. She could shoot her right there and then, but that would be too easy, too fast. She wanted to enjoy every bit of it, every wound she'd inflict upon her. The woman that changed her life forever deserved a slow death.
Abby shifted her stance from left leg to right, switching balance to dodge Ellie's knife. Just by doing so, she tripped and nearly fell. Ellie used the opportunity and kicked her in the stomach, knocking her down.
Emily rushed forward, but stopped when Ellie screamed. "Stay out of it! She's mine!"
Abby coughed up in pain when Ellie pinned her down with her knee, pressing the tip of her switchblade against her cheek. "No."
"You." Ellie hissed through her teeth, making a thin red line on her cheek. Should I slice her throat or strangle her? She decided neither, grabbing Abby's braid instead to drag her around, towards the water. It was too easy. Abby wasn't as weak last time, when she was an epitome of strength and skill. Even in the moonlight, it could be seen that Abby was unusually pale. It must be the wound beneath her arm. It doesn't matter, she concluded and threw her as hard as she could into the water. Abby tried to stand up, but slipped and fell back into the sea.
Ellie didn't need to glance over her shoulder to know that Emily was staring at her. She didn't care. Kill Abby. Kill Abby. Kill Abby. Let's just go home… What? She shook her head to clear the stray thoughts away and waited for Abby to stand up.
"He needs… to get to the boat." Abby whispered, still clutching the knife in her hand. "I'm not doing this."
Ellie barely contained a scream of frustration. She directed all her fury at Abby, punching her back into the water then kicking her again.
"No. I'm not going to fight you." Abby was persistent. She was as pale as the moon. One glance was enough to think that she looked as though she was dying.
"Yes, you will." Ellie ordered and walked away, leaving Abby alone in the water. Emily gave her a confused look when she walked past her. Oh, I will make you fight me. I will, I fucking will! When she returned, dragging that boy with scars around his mouth, Abby shifted in her place. Ellie held the boy up by his chin, pressing the switchblade against his throat. He was unconscious.
"Ellie, no!" Emily screamed from behind.
"He's not a part of this." Abby's face seemed unusually calm, but her gaze was restless.
"You made him a part of this."
She didn't care anymore. A monster. That's what she was. She lost herself, she let herself be consumed by her vengeance. There was no going back now. She killed so many. What's one kill more? It won't make a difference.
"Please, Ellie. He's just a boy!" Emily was standing right behind her. Older girl didn't dare approach any closer. Ellie was too unpredictable right now. Even a slightest wrong word could trigger her to do unimaginable.
Abby sighed, and clutched the knife in her hand harder. "Okay." Ellie let the body from her hands fall down and walked into the sea until water reached her knees, turning to face Abby. Suddenly, Abby leaped forward, rushing towards her like a raging bull, knocking Ellie into the water. A sudden urge of strength surprised her, and she couldn't react in time.
"Stay.. out of it, Emily!" Ellie managed to utter somehow once Emily attempted to interrupt the fight when Abby sat on her. Muscular girl was holding her knife high, trying to end it with one clean stab, but Ellie kicked her off of her and jumped back on her feet. They exchanged blows one after another, with Abby dropping her knife eventually. Neither of them could connect two blows in a row, continuing their battering until they were out of breath. They stumbled apart for a brief second to catch their breaths before diving back at each other, eyes narrowed in determination. Ellie was all bruised up, but numerous cuts covered Abby's arms as well. She didn't have it any better.
Ellie dodged Abby's fist and came up with her own, and for a brief instant, Abby's eyes widened before she managed to tilt her head back and slam it into Ellie's. Stars burst in her vision, but she shook it off, blindly throwing a sloppy kick. Abby stepped back, easily evading the kick. The instinct, the will to survive suddenly surged into Abby all at once. She seemed a totally different person, as soon as Ellie threatened to kill the boy.
"Is that all you got?" she crowed, Ellie even spotted her smirking infuriatingly at her. She growled and threw herself at her, changing direction in the last second. Ellie's blood hummed in her veins as determination and anger took over, and she slammed her fist in Abby's jaw. From that point, she couldn't evade and was knocked into the water.
Ellie knew adrenaline was the only thing that kept her going. Adrenaline and revenge. Without it, she'd stumble and fall unable to get up again. Ellie pinned her down and drove the switchblade deep into her shoulder, encircling her hands around Abby's throat afterwards, pushing as hard as she could into the water. Sharp pain jolted her side when Abby tore out the switchblade from her shoulder and plunged it into Ellie's body. Ellie cried in pain but never released the grip, which was getting weaker and weaker. Abby's head was submerged underwater, but there was still a fight in her.
Let's just go home.
The voice shook her enough for Abby to regain her ability to breathe above the surface of the water. No, no, no. Not now. Ellie grabbed her jaw with her left hand. Tips of her fingers reached deep into Abby's mouth as she pushed as hard as she could to send her head back underwater. She had to end it now. Kill Abby. Kill..
I would do it all over again. Joel killed all those Fireflies that wanted to perform a surgery on Ellie in hope of finding a cure for the virus. A surgery that was supposed to kill her. He sacrificed his own life in a long-term when he killed them.
No! Ellie pushed harder, whet the pain throbbed in her right fist. Deep and warm, not in a nice way, and painful. So painful. Ellie tore her fist away from Abby's mouth when the latter bit into it, separating two fingers from her hand. In retaliation, Ellie punched her in the nose as hard as she could. For a brief moment, she thought she knocked her out cold, and Abby's head tilted backwards. The immense pain she felt did not sway her for a bit. She ignored it and encircled her fingers, now eight of them, around Abby's throat and pushed her into the water again. Stronger woman wasn't as strong anymore. She resisted, but the resistance was far weaker. Moonlight enlightened the water that had turned red above Abby's head.
That boy Abby wanted to save. He reminded her of someone. The two of them reminded Ellie of someone. Joel was sitting on the porch of his house in Jackson, Ellie could see him clearly. He was sitting there, strumming his guitar in harmony, waiting for his daughter to come home. Sarah's dead, she thought sadly. But then, Joel looked at her and smiled. No matter what, you keep finding something to find to fight for.
Abby was showing the last signs of her resistance. Last atoms of strength were leaving her body. Just a little bit..
Let's stay here a while longer, Ben said, his voice almost silent. A beautiful scenery spread below them. Mountains of Wyoming, the setting sun that touched their tips and merged with them, creating an orange tint. She was sitting to his right, leaning against a tree. Tom was sitting on the opposite side, next to his older brother. Ben looked at her, those dark blue eyes that reminded her of the endless sea. He looked at her and grinned. She could see his face at last.
"I'm sorry." she whispered and let it all go. Abby rose into a sitting position, coughing out salty water, fighting for oxygen.
Ellie sat in the shallow water that reached her waist, clutching what remained of the fingers on her right arm. The water enveloped her as closely as her own skin. Every new sore stung with the salt being washed in. The pain came back all at once, swirling without mercy, penetrating to the cells that should be protected by smooth skin but lied open and raw.
"Ben." Abby mumbled when she got back to her feet. Ellie didn't dare to look at her. "He..."
"Go." she mumbled. "Just take him."
Without hesitation, Abby staggered towards the boy, leaving Ellie alone in the water. Ellie fought with the pain, trying to come to terms what she had just done. She spared Abby. Why? Because of Joel? Ben? If Ellie died instead of Joel, he would hunt Abby to the end of the world, but Ellie was not Joel. A tiny flicker of light at the end of the tunnel was screaming There is still hope for you. All she knew was that she reached for that light.
"Help me, Yara." Abby gasped when she picked up the boy. A girl ran through the sand towards the two of them. Seemingly, she appeared out of nowhere. She was Asian, same as the boy. Perhaps they were siblings, they looked alike. Fireflies' dog tags hung around her neck. "Put him in the boat. Come on. Lev is still with us. Come on."
"Oh my god, Ellie." Emily said when she jogged into the water next to her. She held a pistol in her hand and made sure to observe Yara that did the same. "Your arm… oh my god."
"Abby… who are they?"
"We're leaving, Yara. It doesn't matter."
Trio of Fireflies climbed onto the boat and sailed. Only then did Ellie notice that Yara didn't have her left forearm. For the last time, Ellie exchanged glances with Abby as she sailed into the darkness of the sea. Two of them said nothing to each other, but Ellie could swear she saw Abby nodding her head in the end. Joel and her. Abby and Lev. For some reason, it was so similar. No, not similar, identical. Then she realized. Killing Abby would be the last nail in her coffin.
The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face. She felt the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child, and she looked at the moon, as if its light could soothe her. There was a static in her head, the side effect of what had happened. It was over. There was no point in looking back.
Fuck Santa Barbara.
There was a second boat. Emily helped me to get it up the coast, to get away from the place… I don't even know where we are now. Somehow, we ended up in a small cabin by the coast up north. Emily found some medical supplies, some antibiotics and alcohol. It was far from enough, but it was something. She cauterized the wounds, they shouldn't get infected.
We kept sailing north until I passed out for a while. The waves almost knocked our boat up against a rock. Fireflies never chased us. We encountered some of them, but they just let us through.
It's daytime when I wake up. I don't know how long I've been out, perhaps a night.. even several days. I think I'll just rest a bit, I'm not feeling well.
Two fingers. I lost two fucking fingers.. she bit them off!
This fucking weather! It's so cold up north. I think I'm going to die. In this house, at the beach that I thought was so beautiful at first. Dina would've liked it.
My skin feels so hot like it's burning. Emily keeps talking about something, but I can't hear. I can actually, but I don't remember what she's saying. The antibiotics aren't working. Now I know how Joel felt that winter.
I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I am back in Seattle. The theater is on fire. Abby is killing me. I am killing her. Neither of us is dead.
Ben dies every time, same as Tommy. Joel died a long time ago, that's all I remember.
Dina kills me in Jackson. Then she burns everything, herself and JJ.
I am losing my mind and I can't really tell if I'm awake or not anymore.
Joel. Tommy. Ben. Riley. Tom. Abby and her friends. The slavers. The Fireflies. I see all of them when I close my eyes. They drift in and out. Ben was alive. He was alive… and I failed him.
I just want it to end.
I miss you Dina, Potato – I love you so much.
More than I could ever say.
I'm not dead. Not yet. Fever is gone, Emily made sure for it. The wound in my side was deep, but Abby missed the vital organs. Finally I feel like I can think again.
We left the boat, and for a good week we just walked through the forest. I am feeling much better now. Emily doesn't talk much, even less than before. She must hate me.
Wyoming. Home.
Should I go back to the farm? Is there anything left there for me? Dina? Potato?
The void she felt when she couldn't play the guitar was hard to describe. The lack of two fingers on her left hand disabled her from making chords correctly. Ellie was unsure whether to feel the pain or not. The guitar was Joel's legacy that rested upon her shoulders. But it was his legacy for which she embarked on her quest for vengeance. The quest on which she had lost everything.
She put the instrument away, to rest against the wall below the window, and stood up, looking around the room. Paintings, hung on the wall and resting on the floor. There were dozens of paintings of JJ in various sizes. Then there were paintings of her, Dina and JJ together. Jesse and JJ. Dina and JJ. Maria and JJ. Everyone was with JJ. Her Potato. Who was not there anymore. Neither was Dina. The farm was empty, abandoned. Dina made sure to leave Ellie's personal belongings there. She didn't even write a letter to her, but Ellie didn't blame her. Not after what she's done to her, the way she left her.
With a sigh, she walked downstairs and out through the front door, stopping to look at the white scenery for one last time. White blanket of snow had covered everything. The three of them never got to spend the winter together as they had planned initially. Ellie smiled sadly, imagining what ifs.
Once she got back to the settlement, she visited the cemetery. Joel's, Tommy's and Ben's grave. Tommy's grave was dug right next to Joel's, while Ben's was on the opposite side of the cemetery, next to Tom's. Emily found her there.
"How are you?" Ellie asked her, rubbing her hands to warm them. The wintry sun was the brightness of the day, taking central position on the sky. The sunshine was white and cold, the sparkle of the ice, which somehow seemed warm even when the north wind bit.
Emily sighed and smiled. "Not bad. I miss my bros."
"Me too." Ellie felt the sting of guilt when the blonde girl mentioned them. "I'm sorry I couldn't find him."
"I know you're sorry."
Ellie sighed sadly, not knowing what to say further. She must hate me.
"I don't blame you, Ellie. It was his choice. His decision. You're not the one to blame."
Ellie raised her eyebrow, not knowing what to think about it. Emily surprised her. She was sure the blonde girl hated her. In the end, she muttered a simple, "Thank you."
Emily put a hand on her shoulder and two looked at each other. Her blue eyes reminded her of him. "You know, Ellie… you meant a great deal to him."
She nodded, her eyes tearing up. Emily seemed to notice that and hugged her. I'm so sorry, Ellie thought as she returned the embrace. He meant so much to me too. She could not say it, yet she meant it will all her heart. Not once after that night on the beach had Emily cried in front of everyone. Even when people about it once they returned to settlement. I wish I was as strong as her.
"What are you going to do now?" Emily asked after a while. "If you don't have place to stay, you can stay at my house for a time being if you want."
"Thanks, but I still have a place of my own." Ellie replied and smiled thankfully. "For starters, I think I'll go see Dina. Perhaps I can still fix it, what's left of our relationship."
Emily nodded. "That seems to be a good idea."
"Yeah." Ellie said absently and turned around as the cold northern wind intensified, singing its wintry song to stir the emotions. The emotions that would indeed be much different had she done some things differently. The people she had lost, they were all a thing of the past now. It was time to let it all go, and start a new life, a real life at long last. Regret would remain, but she had to live with that. She headed to Dina's, to start her life anew.
Long had been since the Wyoming was turned into a new white page, so had the winter renewed the land. The winter storm came as all storms must, not to care with the gentle hand of a mother, yet to rip and tear what could not stand its brutal onslaught – to fell the old trees, to remove the rot, and put it all on an icy standby mode. In that winter storm when the cold air spun the land into a new brilliant white fleece, a man approached the settlement through the snowstorm, carrying all the cold of the world with him.
x
A/N: Okay guys, this chapter officially concludes the arc of the Last of Us Part 2 when you look at it from a certain perspective. Ellie's revenge story has been concluded, she returned back home to start a new life, free of her quest for revenge. PTSD will remain, but she came to terms with what had happened and has finally accepted it.
This chapter is a bit shorter, but expect longer ones in the future. Now that Santa Barbara arc (although very short) is finished, we are going back to Seattle, to see what happened to Ben at last.
Cheers and enjoy!
