Baby Blues
At first Mac didn't mind being in the hospital. She got to see all of the new babies. They were so cute. She frequently would get out of bed to hold them and to visit with their mothers. She learned a lot just by watching their interactions.
She couldn't understand why her doctors seemed so concerned. She felt great. Rod spent much of his free time with her. Together they enjoyed the in-utero antics of their very active children and planning Horace and Rebecca's futures.
However, after four weeks, she was going insane. The walls were closing in on her. Though their trips around the hospital with Rod pushing her in a wheelchair helped, they didn't alleviate the problem.
By week five, Mac was terribly depressed. All she saw around her was healthy babies and healthy mothers. Babies and mothers who came and went like the rising and setting of the sun, none of them staying for long... and even worse, all of them having what appeared to be a very easy time of the entire experience.
For her, however, it was a never-ending struggle. She'd had enough. She refused to get out of bed. She spent her days drifting in and out of consciousness with the curtain drawn tightly around her bed. And the regular sounds of crying babies or cooing mothers was pure torture... like someone scraping fingernails down a bulletin board
After the third day of this, Rod came into the room and sat on the chair next to the bed. "Honey, what's going on?"
"Nothing," she said, folding her arms across her now enormous mid-section and looking away. Suddenly, as if on cue, the baby on the other side of the curtain began to wail. "I wish she'd shut that thing up," Mac muttered to herself as she turned over on her side and placed her pillow over her head.
Rod looked towards the curtain and then back at his wife hoping the woman on the other side hadn't heard his wife's complaint. He moved to sit on the other side of the bed so he could see her face. "Mac..."
"What, Rod? She'll get pregnant again... she's done it four times in five years," Mac whispered to her husband, a bit annoyed.
"Sit tight, I'll be right back." Rod said and made his way out to the nursing station.
"Hey Mr. Calloway, I bet Mac is a bit happier now that you're here," Mac's regular nurse, Arrita, said to him as he exited the room.
"Arrita, do you have private rooms?"
Arrita smiled a knowing smile. "I thought you'd never ask."
"There you go Mac. Everything is nice and quiet."
Mac rolled her eyes at Arrita She was still irritable and hated having to remain in the hospital.
"It would be much better if this were my bed, and my husband were allowed in it."
"I won't tell if you don't tell," Arrita said. She was used to women like this. Mac was the woman that will never feel comfortable inactive. She was excited about what she was doing, but scared at the same time. Arrita understood it. She patted Rod's shoulder on the way out.
He turned to his wife and frowned a little. "I thought this would be better..."
"It is Rod..." Mac said with a sigh. "It's just a lot harder than I expected...
"I know, honey. You know I'd take your place if I could," he said coming to join her on the bed. He figured that maybe a little cuddle time would help raise her spirits. He knew it would certainly boost his own.
Mac scooted over to allow him to climb on the bed next to her. It felt so good, she realized, once he was settled next to her, to just be in his arms again... even if it was like this and not in the comfort of their own home.
After a few minutes, Mac told her husband quietly, "I quit the firm"
Rod stopped all activity with his hands. He was shocked. "You did what?"
"Well,I think your mom was right. Maybe I should stay home with the twins once they are here."
"Is that part of what's bothering you?" Rod moved slightly away from her so he could really study her face.
"I don't know," she told him honestly. "I feel pretty all mixed up right now. I'm not entirely sure about anything. The truth is that I haven't been happy there for a long time. I want to make a difference. Practicing law shouldn't just be about making money. I want to help people... and I really want to actually litigate. You know, get in the court room on a regular basis…like you do."
"Oh, I see." It suddenly occurred to him how little they'd spoken about work–about anything other than her pregnancy and the babies in months. No wonder she was going nuts. "You know Carl just moved over to the DA's office. Why don't you call him when you're ready. They might be looking for someone else a little bit down the road. Full-time, part-time or whatever you want. You know I'll support whatever decision you make."
Mac smiled slightly, and reached out for his hand. "That's a great idea. I'll do that... when I finally can. You know after these two monsters finally make their appearance," she said gesturing to her stomach with a tilt of her head. "But in the mean time, tell me what court's like?"
"Mac, you know what it's like."
"No, I mean what is it like when you're working it."
Rod smiled. "You'll love it." He spent the rest of the evening describing his last visit at court... and Mac's blues were forgotten… if only for a little while.
