It's been a week since Liv told Jake the truth and since she put him out. She knew he wasn't going to rape her but she's never seen that kind of determination in his eyes. He's been drinking and she's been getting calls from his office about the drinking. She feels guilty about it and of course she wants to help him. Fitz hasn't called her since that night but she can't deny their last session still has her reeling from the confessions and doesn't quite know what to think of it. Because of that session, he and Mellie have been fighting ever since.
Flashback:
"So, your exercise was to write down the memory of the first time you said I love you, to each other. Who wants to go first?" She tries to avert her eyes and just stay focused on Mellie. She knows they've slept together thanks to Fitz but she can't allude to know how they are dealing with their therapy at home.
"I want to go first," Mellie says as Fitz takes notice of the baggie clothes that Liv has chosen to wear. He knows why and he hates it. Liv glances in his direction. "The first time Fitz ever truly told me he loved me was when he proposed."
"Okay, and how long did you date?"
"About 8 months," she says as Liv studies Mellie's face.
"He never told you he loved you before then?" Olivia asks.
"Well, it was a cute way he said it and there were stars in my eyes and..I don't know.."
Liv looks at Fitz, "Do you remember what you said to her?"
"I do," Fitz says almost ashamed.
"What was it?"
"I said, Mellie Grant I am in need of a wife and would you do me the honor of marrying me," Fitz answers, noticing that Liv is aware that there were no words of love in that statement.
"You obviously said yes Mellie but what did you say in reply."
"I said, Fitzgerald I have been waiting since we met for you to say those words to me. I fell in love with you the first night I danced in your arms, on our third date. I knew then I wanted to be Mrs. Grant. I will marry you and I love you."
"And I said I love you back," Fitz adds.
"So," Liv looks at Fitz, "Was this the first time you said I love you?"
"Yes, it was," he says almost annoyingly.
"After she said I love you," Olivia continues.
"Yes, I said, I love you too and we are going to have a great life."
"When did you know you were in love with Mellie? She asks. "What was that moment?"
Fitz takes a deep breath. He can't answer the question and he can see that Liv realizes it. He is very uncomfortable and Liv can see it. His eyes pleaded with her for release. "I guess I always knew."
"He's never been comfortable about saying that. He shows love, he's not good about actually saying it," Mellie explains.
Liv knows the truth but she can't make Mellie see it. Fitz has to say those words. "I think most couples in therapy have a hard time answering the most important question about love and marriage. The question of loving your partner and being in love with your partner." Mellie looks confused but Fitz faces it head on.
"The difference between love and being in love," He finishes.
"I don't want you to answer it now. I want you both to give it some thought. Let's talk about your intimate relationship."
Fitz shoots his eyes at her. Mellie's eyes on the other hand light up. "As in our sex life," Mellie asks.
"As in, in the 8 months that you dated, when did sex become apart of the relationship? Would you say rather quickly or at a pace?"
"Well, I think it's safe to say we didn't waste time on sex. I think it was our 3rd date."
"Did the sex always come easier than the words?"
"Sex was never a problem for us," Fitz answers.
"Would you say you got to know each other physically more than emotionally?"
They both don't have an answer for Olivia. Mellie is now deep in thought, "Can you mistake a good physical connection for a great emotional connection.?"
"Yes, you can. Making love is supposed to be physical but it should be emotional and spiritual," Liv answers. Fitz smiles, that's what he feels. That's what he needs. That's what it hasn't been.
"Lately, we've had sex unplanned, unscheduled, and spontaneous and I think we needed that." Fitz is now beyond uncomfortable and sad by the truth when Mellie says it.
"And what else have you done together besides sex that is simple connection and intimacy without sex, like watch a movie or.."
"Well, I love romantic movies and he doesn't."
Liv looks at Fitz feeling like an intruder because she knows it's not true. "Do you hate romantic movies?"
Fitz then smiles, "No, I love them and I'm all about cuddling in front of a fire and watching a wonderful, romantic movie and hoping the romance of it all would cause us to make love and remember the romance that we share." He makes sure his eyes never leave Olivia's.
Mellie looks at him confused, "Every time I want to watch a romantic movie you aren't interested," Mellie retorts.
Fitz bites his lip. He knows he can't deny that. "Yes, that's what I said."
"Fitz, why have you never shared that part of yourself with Mellie or why did you close that off from her?"
He can feel the storm that they'll be in now, as it brews in that room and sure to follow them long past this session, "Because that's a vulnerable part of me I chose not to share."
"Because," Olivia asks.
"Because," Fitz doesn't know how to finish it.
"Because you aren't in love with me," Mellie says as she grabs her purse and storms out. Leaving Fitz and Olivia to look at each other. Fitz wants to say something to her but Liv makes him leave.
"You need to go after your wife," she says. And that's how that session ended.
Liv comes out of the memory. She's been questioning herself. What did she want from that session? What was she hoping to achieve? Why did she push the issue? She had figured it out and she wanted him to say it, but he wouldn't. And she's questioning, did she do it for herself or did she do it for them. The answer is much more dangerous than she's willing to admit.
She has another session with them before she takes the week off to go to DC to be with her family for her father's birthday. She's planning to make another surprising request of the Grants that she knows will only upset the person who she knows will see the real reason behind it. But she feels she has to do it. She has to tell someone and that someone is always going to be Abby.
"What is on fire girl?" Abby asks.
"I am, I guess," Liv answers.
"What's up? I don't know why we just could do massages and talk about this?"
"Because I can't talk about this in public," Liv says.
"Listen, I told Huck about Jake and he wasn't pleased."
"Why would you tell Huck that? He has no sense of chill. He will hurt him," Liv says as she lets the waiter know they are ready.
"He tried to force himself on you Liv. It was either going to be Huck or Harrison but I was telling some damn body."
"I don't think he was going to hurt me. He's been calling me every day apologizing and begging for my forgiveness."
"I'm not surprised."
"I didn't come here to talk about Jake. I told him after I come back from DC, we need to meet. Talk about the house and other things so I can get this moving."
"Good! Don't back down from that. So what are we talking about then?"
"I want to ask you something and I need you to hear me out." Liv says as she eyes Abby to agree.
"Fine, I'll hear you out and try not to be judgemental."
"What if you knew someone was the one?"
"I'd probably run like hell," Abby jokes.
"No, what if you met that person and you connected on every level, not physically but you could hear their thoughts and feel their every emotion and their emotion becomes yours. And you don't touch but you can still feel them."
"That would scare me. I can't imagine connecting with someone on that level. I don't know." Liv is deep in thought. She searches for what she should say. Abby continues, "Liv start talking."
"I can't.."
"Start somewhere!"
"I've been counseling them for almost 5 months. In the beginning I developed more of a rapport with her, getting her to talk. He talked but he didn't talk at the same time. I had to draw him into the sessions but when he spoke I understood everything he wouldn't say and somewhere along the lines I saw him look through me. I always felt it. I always saw it but my job was and is to try and save his marriage."
"You are a prime example that not all marriages last."
"I know that and thank you for the newsflash," Liv says sarcastically " I realized he was coming to the session to talk to me. The sessions became his mouthpiece to reveal himself to me."
"Wait a minute. You are dating one of your patients," Abby says rather loudly.
"No Abby, I am not. I just feel so bad. You know how you hear of doctors falling for their patients, which to me always had an ick factor but I'm a therapist, who's working to save a marriage that I could in the end, be the reason it won't have a chance."
"You like this person. You are drawn to this person.I can tell. It's all over your face," Abby figures out immediately.
"I am not. What makes you think that?"
"Could it be the way your eyes fall when you talk about him? Could it be that you looked flushed?"
"Abby," Liv protested.
"Have you had an erotic dream yet?"
"God, Abby! And no, I haven't."
"Who is this person? I would laugh my ass off if you said it was Fitzgerald Grant. I told you that day I saw him at your office. He was gorgeous."
Liv doesn't say anything. She just lets Abby go on. "You did," she says. Trying to be nonchalant.
Abby studies her. "You trollip," she says jokingly. "It's Fitzgerald Grant!"
Liv buries her face in her hands. "I don't know what to do."
"Have you kissed yet?"
"No," Liv responds.
Abby is stirring her coffee repeatedly, putting the spoon in her mouth to suck the sugar off. "Hmmm, someone has to make the first move."
Liv again tries to ignore it. "I think a chicken salad sandwich with a side of sweet potato fries sounds good. What about you?"
Abby squeals, "He made the first move? What did he do? Did he feel you up?"
"He called me at home and we talked a couple of times but I told him, he can't call again. Because he really can't."
"Liv you two are weirdly connected in this cosmic way, you can't ignore it. And that problem is, you know you can't ignore it. Get out of your head and deal with it."
"I am their therapist Abby. I'm the worse because I'm talking to them about their marriage, their sex life, their children, everything. It gives me an unfair advantage and insight into their lives. At the end of the day, if something were to happen people won't see that her husband, her husband...and I connected.."
"What if he is your soulmate?"
"Not all soulmates end up together. I thought Stephen was my soulmate and he was ripped from me and that tore me up."
"I know Liv and that affected all of us. We loved Stephen too. But he's gone and he would want you to be happy."
She looks Abby square in the eye, "He wouldn't want me to be happy at someone else's expense. I don't wreck marriages. I preserve them."
"Fitzgerald Grant is making you question everything and you haven't even exchanged bodily fluid yet. What if he is your soulmate?" Abby asks again.
"First do no harm."
"You didn't cause a rift in their marriage. That's why they came to you. Maybe that's why they were dropped in your lap. Maybe you wouldn't have found each other without going this route. You owe it to yourself to figure it out."
"No, I don't. You are a doctor, just like me. We both took an oath and I take my work seriously. I can't go down this road, whatever it is because this man intrigues me and makes me uncomfortable because he makes me so comfortable. I can't try to figure this out."
"You want to know him and he wants to know you."
"No I don't," Liv protests.
"Yes you do and I think you know what you have to do. You just don't want to do it because you won't have an excuse to pursue this."
"I shouldn't pursue this. It's wrong."
"The man became a billionaire because of his brain. He's tenacious! I don't think he's going to just dismiss this. He made the first move. He's going to pursue you and he probably won't care how long it takes."
Liv takes another deep breath. "I am going to be the responsible one and not get on this train that is going to be a train wreck and do what's best for me and for them."
"Can you honestly sit through those sessions with him and act like there's nothing there?"
"I have to," Liv says as she asks for their waiter.
"I think running away this will be even more of a train wreck," Abby finishes.
Liv sighs. The reality is, this man intrigues her. He intrigues her senses. Her body reacts to him and she hides it well but when he leaves she's left without these senses that aren't awakened unless she's in his presence. She does have a choice here and she plans to go with that plan.
Fitz is on a conference call when he sees Mellie pass by his office. They have been eating dinner and not saying a word to each other. The kids have noticed that something is wrong but there's nothing Fitz can do to change the anger she feels. That session was angry and full of admissions and omissions. Part of him is happy it happened that way but there's another part of him that's angry with Liv that she forced him to be so honest. He knows she made him face his cowardice but he's mad he had to do in a way that seemed cold and unfeeling. He's not that person and that's what it feels like to him.
"Thanks David! I'm sure they don't mind giving me this money because of what they are getting in return. The deal looks good and it looks solid. I think I am ready to sign." He hangs up the phone and gets up, fixing his clothes. He goes out to find Mellie. She's in the room, reading a book.
"Mellie can I talk to you for a second?"
"Why do we need to talk?"
"Because we need to. We've been snapping each other's head off for a week now and.."
"Well Fitz, it's not every day you find out that your husband is not in love with you."
"I never said that Mellie," he peddles that out of his mouth slowly.
"You never disagreed with it or did I miss that."
"I just think there are a lot of things I need to tell you and I don't know where to start. I want you to understand that I do love you. I love you very much . You are the mother of my children."
"Do you dream about me Fitz?"
"What? Why would you ask me that?"
"It's a simple question. Do you dream about me?"
"I know when you are dreaming about sex. That beautiful organ of yours stands at attention and you are moaning and groaning and saying Sweet Baby, in your sleep."
"It was a dream," He shakes his head. "And I am not making light of it."
"But I'm not Sweet Baby. I'm just Mellie. I don't know who she is but your body is happy and she's always making you feel good."
Fitz looks at her shocked. He knows he's had dreams but he didn't know talked in his sleep. He didn't know his innermost thoughts and sexual desires were revealed in such a subconscious way. "They are just just dreams."
"Is she doing things that I don't? In your dreams. What do I need to do?"
"How long?"
"How long what?"
"Have I been having those dreams.?"
"About 4 months. That's why I thought you were cheating on me."
"I haven't cheated on you Mellie."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I need to save my energy for whatever I need to accept in our session tomorrow." She dismisses him by taking her book and going into her office. She turns back, around. "Don't forget we have a landscaper coming next week to bid on the redo of the front."
"Okay," Fitz says. Fitz strides to go after her and sees fit to not tempt the furies, "Damn," he says lightly.
Liv arrives at Jake's office. He owns his own landscaping business, Serendipity Landscaping, which with the help of Olivia, expanded. They would see the landscape of her offices and ask for her services. His business has grown exponentially. She walks into the office. Nadine meets her. She took over as his secretary after Liv caught him in the act.
"How bad is it?" Liv says.
"Well, he was supposed to go and 3 bids today out in Winnetka but he missed them all."
"Did he come here drunk?"
"Yes ma'am. I know I shouldn't have called you, but I thought maybe you could talk to him."
"I doubt I can help. I am probably the reason he's drinking."
Nadine laughs, thinking that's impossible, "He loves you to death. All he's been talking about is wanting to buy you gifts and flowers."
"I told him a week ago that I am going through with the divorce Nadine, so."
Nadine's face grows sad, mostly for her boss that's been very nice to her, "That's too bad but he told me what happened."
"He did," Liv says confused.
"When he hired me. I haven't said it to anyone else but, he told me."
Liv takes a deep breath. "I'll go in and talk to him. I am going to be leaving for DC on Thursday evening, my father's 60's birthday. Just call me, let me know how he is or how he's not."
"Yes ma'am, thanks for coming by."
"I think for now, the best thing for me to do is not go in there. Don't tell him I was here."
"But, he would love to see you."
"I know and that's not a good thing."
"Okay," Nadine says.
"Give him some coffee, sober him up. Call his mom, she can always talk to him."
Liv goes toward the door, "Thanks for calling Nadine," she says as she turns and leaves. Nadine looks through her rolodex to get his mother's number.
Jake comes out of his office, "Nadine can you?" He looks around.
"Yes sir, what do you need?"
"Can you get Mellie Grant on the phone? She wants me to take a look next week at her property. See if she can squeeze me in this week."
"Sure thing! She was a referral from Alice Grayson right?"
"Yeah, she was. We did their house and their 4 rental properties," He answers as he keeps looking around the office.
"Is there something wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong…..it just, I know that scent. Liv used to wear it," he says
Nadine tries not to give it away. "I am trying a new perfume," she covers.
"It's nice," he says as he sadly goes back to his office, wishing that Liv was there." Immediately he's back to that place hurting for what's missing. He pulls his bottle of Bourbon out of the shelf. His drink of choice these days and doesn't even bother with a glass and chugs it down.
Liv is back in her office. The Grants is her only appointment for this evening. Besides her lunch with Abby and checking on Jake, she's been working on her father's birthday party that she poured her energy into after everything that happened. April is at her desk working when Liv walks in.
"How's today been going?" Liv says as she comes in.
"I got all your tapes ready for transcription. I got all those files ready and filed away. You got 6 calls for new patients."
Liv goes into her office, leaving the door open to talk to her. She puts her purse and jacket down. "After this birthday party, I am going to have to look at everything. I may have to refer some patients. I don't know how that's going to work out but..I won't be able to see them all. I'm averaging 5-8 appointments today."
"You are doing well boss," April says.
"Yes but I don't want to get burned out and I want to be able to really help my patients. I can't do that with 40 appointments a week going through my head, you know."
"What do you need me to do?" April asks as she walks into the supply closet. She doesn't see Fitz walk in.
"Get my patient list together," Liv says as Fitz comes in. Liv doesn't see him, "When I come back from DC I'll take a look and see."
She walks back to the door to talk to April when she sees Fitz. She feels it, the drop in her stomach and the weakening of her knees, "Going to DC," he says.
April turns out of the closet, "Mr. Grant," she says.
"You are a little early," Liv says.
"I had a meeting in town, so.. We came separately today."
"Well, have a seat. April will get you some coffee, tea, water, maybe..." She's instantly flustered.
"A cup of jo would be fine," he answers.
"April, you may leave as soon as Mr. and Mrs. Grant session is over. I'll be here a little longer. I will lock up."
"Thanks Boss, I have a few errands to run," April answers. Liv goes back into her office, closing the door. April, who's never been shy about how hot she thinks he is, "What do you like in your coffee?"
"Nothing, straight. Black and strong," he says as he glances over at Liv's door. He knows why she retreated to her office to avoid him.
"It's definitely strong," she laughs.
Liv is sitting at her desk. She's suddenly having a panic attack which she is sure she brought it on herself. "Olivia calm down. He's just early." She says to herself. She looks at her watching, knowing she has another 15 minutes. She goes into her personal bathroom and wets a towel as she pats her forehead. She looked back over their notes from their last session and decided to prepare.
Fitz sits in the waiting area, tapping his finger on his knee. He wants to go into her office and blow the lid off his thoughts but he knows he can't do that. April eyes him, noticing his nervousness and Mellie comes through the door.
"Mrs. Grant," April acknowledges.
Mellie is a little out of breath and she has run in. "I thought I was going to be late."
"You are right on schedule," April says.
Mellie looks over at Fitz, "Hello," she says.
"Hello," he answers.
April buzzes Liv, "Mrs. Grant is here."
"You can send them in," she answers.
They both get up. Liv opens the door to let them in. She directs them to their usual seats.
"How are we today?" LIv says, as even she takes a deep breath.
They both look at each other nervously. Mellie decides to answer, "We are okay, I guess."
Liv looks over at Fitz, seeing how his brow is frowned and she can see the stress in his eyes. There is a different vibe between them. She can feel it. "The last session was stressful but you all cut through some things you need to cut through. We left off with something unanswered."
"We left off with me realizing my husband is not in love with me."
"You left before we could actually deal with what you said. Have you two talked about the session?"
"We have," Fitz says.
"And what did you two talk about?" Mellie looks at Fitz and he looks at her. Now no one wants to answer. "You two obviously talked about it. What happened?"
"He said he does love me, very much."
"That's good," Liv says as her throat catches. She wants to kick herself for that affecting her.
"But he didn't say he was in love with me," Mellie finishes.
Liv shakes her head, "Okay," her stomach let's go of the knots.
"I tried to tell her that I couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear but I didn't want her to feel like she isn't anything to me. She's the mother of my children. I do love her."
"If you are no longer in love with her, that's something we need to put on the table."
"Then why are we here," Mellie says.
"What?" Fitz asks.
"Why are we here? You aren't in love with me, so this is a waste of all our time."
"I told you Mellie, I am in a transition."
Mellie laughs at the words and looks away, "Transition. Is this a midlife crisis? Men have it all the time."
"Do you think that is what it is Fitz?"
"I've been feeling this way for some time," he admits.
"So you dream about other women to help with your transition," Mellie says snarkily.
Liv looks at Mellie absorbing the revelation, "What dreams?"
"He says he doesn't remember them...but.."
"What are these dreams?" Liv asks.
"They are sexual. I know they are because he's hard and having an erection and talking in his sleep."
"I told her I don't remember my dreams," Fitz says as he stares into Liv's eyes.
"Is that the truth?" Liv asks.
"What difference does it make?" Fitz asks.
"It is important because dreams are usually our subconscious. It's what is subliminally in our head. It's what we think about and may not speak about."
"Olivia, it's always the same woman?"
"Why do you think so?" Liv asks.
"Because he always calls her Sweet Baby. Unless my husband is extremely horny and wants to sleep with everyone in Chicago."
"Fitz, when did the dreams start?" Liv asks.
"Mellie says about 4 months ago," He answers.
Liv notes that timeline, knowing it's right after they started their sessions with her. "After you started coming to these sessions."
"Yes," Mellie says.
"It's possible it's your subconscious finding ways to protect your thoughts and feelings about being in therapy," Liv says as it's almost like Mellie is not in the room and they are only talking to each other.
"I asked him if I wasn't doing enough in the bedroom or are we not having sex enough that he has to dream about it."
"And," Liv says.
"I told her that's not it."
"Is the sex that you dream of aggressive or rough or full of…?"
"I can't see her face," he says. He's lying but that's the only way he can do this in front of Mellie. "I just know it's rough and aggressive but all consuming. Most of the time it's passionate and powerful. But when it's aggressive, it's after we've had a session and I am frustrated at not being able to say the words here sometimes."
Mellie looks over at him, "So, you do remember them."
"Yes, I do."
Mellie looks at him, "We sometimes replace sex dreams as defense mechanism for dealing with things that bring us pain and anxiety. It's a form of detachment." Liv says then and taps her pen on her paper, then plays with her thumbnail. That same pesky thumbnail that Fitz noticed. What she is saying is true but she knows that's not what's happening here.
"I don't know what to do then," Mellie says.
"I need to do something Mellie. Maybe I need to move out for a while."
"Move out," Mellie says. "What about our kids?"
"We have a guest house. I can stay there until I sort some things out. This is stressful on you. This is stressful for me."
"So now you don't even want to be around me," Mellie says.
"No, but I am hurting you and I don't want to do that."
"So you are leaving us."
"Mellie," Liv interrupts. "I think he wants to give you both air to breathe and think about what's been revealed in these sessions. Maybe Fitz will have an easier time getting his words out to you, his feelings, if you two have some space."
It isn't until Liv explains it in that way that Mellie lets out a breath to try and understand it, "You think it is a good idea."
"Yes, I do," Liv says.
"Fitz, do you feel like you are underwater and can't breathe?" Liv asks.
"That's exactly how I feel?" Fitz says. "Thank you for putting into words."
"I'm a swimmer. Swimming analogies always work for me," she laughs. He laughs at how she always seems to get him.
Mellie feels like she was left out. "What about the kids?"
"I can't tell you how to go about explaining it. What I can tell you is that you need to make their routine as normal as possible. Since you won't technically be leaving, they won't have a sense of abandonment. It just won't be what they are used to."
"That makes sense," Mellie says.
Fitz feels a sense of relief. "I'll move into the guest house this weekend."
"Okay, and this will be good to see how you two start to communicate with this new arrangement in place," Liv says.
Fitz is still eyeing Liv as he. He looks over at Mellie and says, "I am sorry if this hurts you."
Mellie responds, "Thanks for saying that."
Liv looks at her watch, "Okay, our time is up. Let's schedule for two weeks. I am going to be in DC for the next week so I won't be here. Fitz looked at her in disappointment. She then throws out a lifeline to Mellie but deep down it's for Fitz, "But will give you my work cell that is just for my patients. You can call me in case of an emergency." This makes Fitz smile.
They both get up and prepare to leave. Mellie turns to her, "Thank you so much, I don't know what we would do without you."
"It's not me, you two are doing all the work. I am just trying to bring it out of you."
"Thank you Dr. Pope," he says pointedly. That's the first time he's called her that, since she has always tried to be more formal with her patients, letting them call her Olivia. She always feels like they open up more without the titles. They don't feel like they are being leave out and they talk to April to schedule their next appointment. They do and then Mellie and Fitz leave in their separate cars. It's about 30 minutes later and April leaves.
April is preparing to leave. When Fitz comes back in. He doesn't even have to tell April why he is back. She instinctively knows. She decides to be the arbitrator in this story that she wasn't invited to be a character in.
Liv comes out to lock the door, to see Fitz standing there. "What are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you," Fitz says.
"You shouldn't be here," she says.
"I probably shouldn't but you are right. I need to talk and I need to talk to you."
Liv is already on guard, she visualizes this space between, "What if your wife came back?"
"She's going to pick up our daughter. She's not coming back," he says.
" , whatever this is can't be."
"Dr. Pope, whatever it is, already started," he says.
"Why the sudden?..."
"You know how hard it was to sit there and tell my wife I was having sex in my dreams with a faceless woman. It sounds creepy and weird but how can I explain that."
"If she was faceless, she was faceless," Liv answers.
"You and both know the woman in my dream wasn't faceless."
Liv drops her head, red faced by the revelation. "I'm your doctor. I can be nothing more."
"Is that the professional thing to say or the truth?"
"Mr. Grant, I don't want to be the reason you and your wife can't see through this. If it falls apart, I don't want to be that reason."
"Then you feel it too. You feel this connection we share. You know my thoughts. You know what I'm saying because you feel it too."
"It doesn't matter what I feel. It matters what's right and there is a boundary between doctor and patient. I know I made it very formal in our sessions.."
"I don't know what it is about you that has invaded my mind, even my body. I just know that if I don't find out what is happening here I'll regret it."
"Then maybe I need to find you and your wife another therapist."
"Why?"
"We sit in these sessions and steal looks and steal glares. We sometimes smile at each other because we've connected and your wife is sitting there frozen in her pain and confusion because she can't figure out her husband but I can. Then I work to make her feel connected to you."
"What does that tell you?" Fitz asks.
"It tells me I'm in a hell of a lot of trouble," she says. He walks over to her. She steps back. "Don't come closer she says."
"Why?"
"You know why," she says.
"No, I don't," he says as he walks closer.
"Don't come closer," she says again as he back hits the door frame.
"I know what I want. I know what I don't want anymore. I am going to fix my life and fixing my life means putting the right people in it.," as he stops in his tracks.
"You are so sure," she says.
He walks over and gets closer to her. Her hands gripping the frame. In this moment the pants she's wearing feels like glue to her, stopping her from moving. "I am sure that I want to know about you. I want to date you. I want to know the woman that intrigued me, the moment I laid eyes on her. The woman that knows how to calm me when my thoughts are jumping and fears are strangling me. You tapped into my soul and I can't ignore that. No more than you can try to ignore that I tapped into yours.
"I don't know what you mean."
He grabs her hand, prying it from the door frame. Her fingernails almost scratch the paint off. He kisses the top of her hand, "I want to be the man that finally catches your heart."
"How do you know my heart needs to be caught?"
"Because we share the same sadness in our voices and sadness in our eyes about our marriages. You sleep alone and you shouldn't."
"You can't say the same about your bed at night."
"Just because my bed is not cold, doesn't mean the warmth that should be there is." At this point they've locked hands. Their fingers are intertwined, they didn't even know it was happening. They both look down at their hands and they both slowly let go.
She is at a loss for words. But her body is not at a loss for total sensory overload. " ," she says.
"Have a good night, Sweet Baby," he says as he turns and leaves. She has no words, just sounds of the heavy breathing of her chest and the air she excretes.
What now? The feelings are real. The emotions are smoldering. What are they both going to do now? Can they stop this before it's too late or is it too late?
