A/N: First off, I'd like to apologize for the long wait. There were many things that kinda made me stray off the path of writing during the last two months. The exams, some personal stuff, Christmas, New Year and my birthday etc. The list goes on, but that's not the focus of this announcement. I just want to say that this story is not dead and I'm back. And it's good to be back, guys.

This chapter is a bit slow, but you know how it is. There has to be a calm before the storm. So, enjoy it. :)


Chapter 30 – Nightfall

Night fell heavily when Ben returned to the settlement. His horse, Stepper, rode silently into the stable, surprising the stable boy who winced upon noticing them, the horse as well as the rider. The horse was so quiet that even the hooves were barely audible. It suited Ben perfectly, he never liked to attract attention. The streets of Jackson at that time of day were empty, that is, almost empty, since one could always see a few souls wandering the streets somewhere. Older residents would carry firewood, younger ones would sneak out to go and see their friends and lovers, and there were no children. Primarily because their parents did not allow them, and with good reason. Ben learned from Emily that there was a problem with the infected, a whole horde that attacked the settlement, which was something they should seriously have to deal with, before it becomes fatal.

Settlers of the Jackson community didn't avoid him when walking past him on the street. Yet there was this weird feeling that they wanted to back out upon seeing him. He didn't blame them for he knew he wasn't the prettiest sight around. Not that he was ugly, far from it actually (at least he considered so). It was that his hair that had turned completely white that contributed a lot in that matter. Blackened nails too, probably.

"Come in." was heard on the other side of the door after he knocked. He hesitated for only two seconds and then turned the lock and stepped inside. Sweat immediately drenched Ben's face when he was blasted with the heat from the fireplace. He wanted to take off his poncho as soon as possible, but took his time first in observing the five people inside. Ellie was sitting in her armchair, her legs crossed, wearing a plain dark red sweater and black pants. Her auburn hair, once tied into a short ponytail, was now cut even shorter and let loose. It was a change that surprisingly suited her really well, somehow making her face seem even more detailed than it already was. Dina and Jesse sat on the couch to her right, both wearing casual clothing, while Julia Choi and Cat were sitting on chairs on the other side of the table.

Jesse grinned upon seeing him and nodded briefly towards Julia when he saw him. Ben ignored his attempt to tease, and smiled back at Dina who was hugging her knees on the sofa next to Jesse. Once upon a time, Ben thought of Julia as Jesse's sister when he first met her, but only later did he realize how foolish he was to think that. Just because she's Asian doesn't mean she's his sister, you dumbass. Julia was a striking sight because she was the only girl in the room who wore makeup. It was a natural-looking makeup, consisting of light face powder and eyeliner which made her Asian features appear even more prominent. But even so, it was unusual to see her wearing makeup, mostly because there weren't many occasions that would prompt girls to do it. There was no question, though. Julia was truly a beautiful girl, with or without makeup. Cat, who was also Asian and fancied a new tattoo on her neck, he couldn't exactly recognize the shape (and he wasn't overly interested), frowned and slicked her black bangs backwards when he entered, though he didn't know if it was because of him or something else. The two of them were always on friendly terms (or at least polite to each other), but that spark of enmity between them was always felt.

"Hey, guys." He took off the poncho and said as he approached them, feeling everyone's eyes on him, and awkwardly waved his hand in greeting. It was only then that he noticed that there was no place to sit, and he wasn't really feeling like pushing himself between Jesse and Dina. One look at Jesse was enough to show that he didn't want anyone else between him and her. Ben smirked, more to himself, knowing what his friend still felt for Dina. Everyone else returned his greeting, and Julia mysteriously arched her eyebrow when their eyes met, prompting him to rip his eyes away from her.

"You can sit next to me if you want. I can scoot over." Ellie said looking at him from below, to which he simply nodded and pushed himself into the armchair next to her. It was quite uncomfortable and extremely hot, both because of the fireplace and because he was body to body with her. He fidgeted in the armchair looking for a more comfortable position, and the others stared at the two of them in silence, so the warmth rushed into his cheeks like a flood.

Why is everyone looking at me? What is so interesting about me? He thought, trying not to reveal the anger that slowly aroused in him. "What?" he finally asked them, not able to take on the stares. Cat frowned to the point that her narrow eyes almost disappeared.

"Nothing." Jesse was the only one to answer, hiding his hand with a smile. "How are you?"

"I'm okay." What's up with the question, man?

Ellie shifted in her chair. She was as uncomfortable as he was. "You want a drink?"

Knowing that if he'd agree, Ellie would get up to grab him a drink, and then they would have to fidget once again and suffer more trying to find that comfortable position. "No, thanks. I'm not thirsty." he lied.

"So, why did you invite us over here, Ellie?" Julia spoke. Starting any kind of conversation was obviously a good way to get rid of awkwardness. Ben was glad the eyes were off of him at last.

Ellie shifted as if remembering something she had forgotten, which was very important. "Well, you all know about the troubles with the infected." Everyone except Ben nodded when she said that. He wondered about the lack of more people at Ellie's place. Five wouldn't be enough for what Ellie told him she wanted to do. "We are going to get rid of them. I spoke with Maria and she gave me her permission."

"The five of us?" Jesse asked, not hiding his surprise judging by a raised eyebrow.

Ellie shook her head. "We'll find more people tomorrow. Our patrols have too much on their hands already, our manpower is stretched thin, and then there's this problem of damn raiders."

Everyone mumbled something in response to that. Ben remained quiet, as usual. Everyone knew about those bandits, raiders or whatever they were. They raided the dam not too long ago. No one was killed, but some people were hurt.

"Who are the raiders?" Julia asked with a frown, "Same bandits as before?" Ben recognized the reason for the enmity on her face. Her older brother was killed by bandits that plagued Jackson a couple years ago before Joel and Tommy gathered a party which obliterated them. He also knew that some of those bandits survived and escaped, and that they could be back, seeking revenge. But he was also aware of another possibility. The endless cycle of revenge.

"Say no more, Ellie. I'm in." Jesse said with a confident smile. "We gotta do what we gotta do."

"Thanks, Jesse."

Dina sighed, and her face, once wrinkled with worry, was adorned with a kind smile, "I don't need convincing. I'm in too, Ellie."

Two girls exchanged a longer look, both sharing a smile at each other, making everyone in the room remember their history. It was weird in a way, that they weren't together anymore. They'll reconcile soon, I don't doubt. When Cat and Julia said the same, Ben raised an eyebrow. This went easier than he thought it would. Especially considering it was Ellie who summoned them. Ellie, who wasn't known for being the kindest and most liked girl in the community. She wasn't hated, but still… He wasn't lost in his thoughts for long when he realized that everyone was eyeing him with anticipation, waiting for his answer.

"You can count on me, too." he remembered to add in the end, and felt Ellie's hand on his shoulder, followed by a whisper, "Thank you."

"So, what's the plan?" Cat asked.

Ellie sighed and explained what she had in mind. The plan was to first gather a group of at least ten people, and then sweep the settlement outskirts of any infected. The raiders were a threat too, but infected were a more certain threat at the moment. First the infected, then the raiders.

"It might take a while to get done, but it's the future of the settlement we're talking about." Ellie concluded.

"We're with you." Dina said, adding a smile which Ellie returned. After that, the atmosphere loosened a bit, following from the usual small talk to Jesse cracking jokes and everyone talking about the party from the night before, to which Ben could only listen for he had nothing to add to the conversation considering he missed the event. Ellie often complained to him about headache and hangover, mentioning something about never drinking again.

"We both know that's a lie." he said, cracking a weak smile.

Ellie rolled her eyes, "I'm true to what I say."

Ben shrugged innocently and looked over at Jesse, who was telling a story to everyone, adding to the efforts with hand movements. "And then, I climbed on the table." he was talking with so much enthusiasm, and everyone was listening to him with great attention. "When I climbed, I was standing on one leg, head raised upwards, balancing the bottle of beer on my nose while jiggling with three balls in my hands. Cherry on top, I was drunk as shit. And I never fell over."

Annoyed sighs were heard all around the room, mostly coming from Dina who facepalmed herself. Others were chuckling and grinning at Jesse, all of them aware that his story was too silly to be true.

"Talk about skill." Ben said in a sarcastic tone, making everyone chuckle at his comment.

"That's bullshit." Ellie added.

Jesse gave her an offended look, eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed, making for an irritated grimace.

"Didn't know you could jiggle, Jesse." Ben added a moment after.

His dark haired friend scoffed, "It's a child's play."

"Can you show us?" Jesse's face took on the color of pepper when Ben asked him that question. He laughed nervously and stirred on the couch. "I don't have the ball with me."

"A man of your skill would surely make do with something else."

Jesse smiled nervously again, then looked at him sharply for just a moment. Ben shook his head contentedly, understanding his sign.

"Yes, Jesse. Show us." Julia added, looking over to Ben with a broad smile. He became certain then, she often eyed him when she thought he wasn't looking. Little did she know that he had sharp eyes, and a knack for noticing everything around him, even the slightest details. Which he still found weird that he never noticed her watching him when he played basketball, as Jesse told him once. How did I miss that?, he asked himself. Because you always stared like a stupid cow at Ellie. And now he shared a chair with her, body to body even though only their shoulders were touching.

"I like your new style." he flinched when Julia told him. At first he didn't understand what she meant, but comprehended her compliment when her eyes lifted upwards. His hair, of course. What else? "I like the white dye, but I'm gonna miss your blonde curls."

What? Is she openly flirting with me or…?

"Me too." Cat said after her, which surprised him more than anything tonight. Ellie just sighed. "When did you dye your hair?"

Ellie seemingly stopped breathing, and Dina looked at Cat in disgust, though the girl didn't notice. Cat, on the other hand, just stared at him blankly. He couldn't read her face to figure out what was she hiding behind her words. Did she really mean what she asked? Or she just asked that question to provoke him. It wouldn't be the first time. Ellie may have told her something about him and the way he spent his time in Seattle. I hope not. Julia seemed as if she couldn't read anything between the lines, while Jesse just looked confused.

Ben opened his mouth to say something, when he suddenly felt a touch on his skin. He didn't have to look to know that Ellie had squeezed his arm. He gently wriggled out of her grip and said, "On the way back. I saw an old barber shop and asked myself 'Why the hell not?'. My hair is white purely out of whim. I like it better this way." As a cherry on the top, he smiled ironically in the end, trying to look as expressionless as possible. Cat just nodded and took a sip from her glass, breaking the eye contact. Julia, on the other hand, eyed him with even more interest. He returned the gaze and curled his lips upwards a bit, remembering what Jesse told him about her. According to his friend, Julia was into him a year back. And I like Ellie, so what difference does that make? Ellie is not with Dina anymore, but she still likes girls and not boys. It's the opposite with Julia. Maybe… Ugh, I don't have time for love.

While others were cracking jokes and generally enjoying themselves, Ben mostly kept to his thoughts, playing with his fingers. He felt that ever-present gaze on him. The child was there somewhere, but he didn't want to look for it, knowing it would be in vain. But it wasn't the child that troubled him that night. Connor. What if it's him and his lackey? He's dangerous.

You're dangerous, Annabel said but only he could hear. He tried his best to block her voice out of his head. Connor was mean to you. You should play with him. Play with him, for a long time.

"Be quiet." he whispered, hoping no one heard him and returned to reality. Others didn't seem to notice him whispering to himself, otherwise they'd be looking at him in the weird way. Ben occasionally observed the Ellie-Dina situation. They weren't dating anymore, but an occasional gaze would slip away or sad look in the eyes. It must be weird for both of them now that they were trying to be friends. It was always awkward to remain a friend with someone after a breakup. And what would I know about being in a relationship? The closest he was to being in a relationship with was when he was in Seattle. Her name was Lana and she was dead. Connor raped her and killed her, his breathing intensified suddenly and he gripped the armrest so tight his hand turned white from the lack of blood.

To avoid tearing the armrest apart, he stood up and walked over to the kitchen area of Ellie's home, pouring himself a glass of water in the process. He leaned against the counter, sipping the liquid slowly.

"What's up, man?" Jesse asked as he walked up to Ben, taking a seat on the counter next to him. Jesse, taller than him, could sit on the counter and still touch the floor with his toes. Hence why Ben just leaned on it instead of sitting.

"I've been out, trying to hunt something and clear my head. You?"

He couldn't help himself but smirk when he noticed the dirty plate in the sink, and two rabbit bones on the plate. Ellie made sure to eat every ounce of meat from these bones. He was glad she had her dinner because of him.

"I'm doing less patrols lately, which allows me to rest more and spend some time with my kid." Jesse was a whole head taller than Ben, but that never helped him to beat Ben in basketball. "Not that I like it. I feel useless most of the time. You seem to keep to yourself. Something wrong?"

"Nah." Ben shook his head, taking another sip from the glass. "I'm lost in the thoughts, you know me."

"I do. You were never a talkative guy, but I know when something's off. You can talk to me, you know. About anything. Ellie, Seattle, just name it."

Ben shrugged, acting dumb.

"But I understand if you ain't in the mood to talk about it. I mean, white hair and everything… I can only presume." his voice took on a sad tone when he said the last sentence. Just don't.

"So, JJ…" Ben changed the subject, "…how does it feel to be a father?"

His face lighted up with joy, "It's actually amazing. To know something so little, so fragile would matter so much… I can't even explain it. It's unimaginable, until you get to hold it, to know it's yours. Man…"

"I'm happy for you." Ben said genuinely and tapped his friend's shoulder. "Dina and you with a baby, who would've thought?"

"Right? It's crazy."

"So how's it going with you two? You seem quite chummy." Ben asked, then wished to slap himself. Chummy? Really, Ben? Who the hell says that today? I'm pretty sure that even old man Ron is too old for it.

Taller man sighed, then scratched the back of his head, answering the question in a lower tone, "I don't know what to say. We grew closer to each other since JJ's birth. But it's complicated, especially after she and Ellie had split up. Their breakup is still kinda fresh, I don't think it's a good idea to do anything for now."

"Probably, but I don't remember Ellie waiting for your approval. Go for it." Ben said this partly because he thought Jesse had every right to do so, and partly because he wanted to make sure Dina would never be in a relationship with Ellie again. I'm a such piece of shit, the thought amused him, but he didn't care that much.

"Phew, I think you're right." Jesse said after a while, "Just admit you want Dina out of your way."

"Oh, nooo." Ben replied with a grin, "I'm not that evil."

"Bullshit, Walker. You can be quite vile when you want to be. Remember what you did when Noah embarrassed you in front of everyone?"

"He didn't realize I was putting pieces of goat shit in his scrambled eggs for a month."

Jesse almost bent over from laughter, and Ben almost joined him. The laughter caused several raised eyebrows from the girls. Ben scoofed and elbowed him to calm him down. "So, how was the party last night? And don't sell that jiggling crap to me. I don't buy it."

Jesse shrugged innocently and crossed his arms, "It was quite laid back. We had a tape recorder, so music played all night long. Dina was me most of the time, as I said, we grew closer over the past few months. That bastard Noah tried to start some shit with Julia again, but we threw him out of the party when he crossed the line."

"What'd he do?" Ben asked.

Jesse rolled his eyes, "You know him. Aggressive bastard, with no self-control. He got drunk and tried to hit on Julia, again, and was quite persistent. Then he threw a full bottle of wine against the wall when she refused to sleep with him. That's when we threw him out."

"Typical. Dude will become the same drunkard his dad is. I don't even get why Julia was with him anyway. What did she see in him?"

Jesse leaned a bit closer to him and whispered, "Julia's eyeing you the whole night, you know."

Ben played dumb as always, "Really? I didn't notice."

"Oh, shut up. It was obvious as hell. How can you be so blind?" he said in an irritated voice, then stopped for a second. "Oh, right. You were sitting next to Ellie this whole time. That's why you were blushing so much."

"I wasn't blushing."

"You should've seen your face." He said and burst out laughing once again, "You're so innocent, man."

Ben laughed as well. He missed Jesse the Comedian, his friend who was always able to lift his mood either by cracking a joke or saying something stupid. "Oh, go away. You don't want to leave Dina alone on the couch. Ellie might make a move."

Jesse simply gave him a mean look as an answer and walked off to take his seat back. When he sat down, he seemed to be sitting an inch closer to Dina, which made Ben chuckle with satisfaction. That one was never going to give up on her, and would pursue her love till the end. It was funny in a way, how Jesse always acted chill they talked about Dina in front of the others, as if he didn't care. But Ben knew him better than that. He also admired him, his passion and love he harbored for Dina. I totally ship the two of them. This thought had nothing to do with Ellie, he was genuinely rooting for Jesse and Dina to get back together.

Ellie approached him next when she noticed he was alone. She stood to his left and looked at him sideways. Only then, for the first time, did Ben notice that Ellie was wearing a broken watch on her left wrist. The watch was familiar to him from somewhere, but he couldn't remember.

"This went easier than I thought." She uttered, allowing herself a smile.

Ben nodded, "Yep. Nice job."

"I need a few more people and this should work. The scouts have too much in their hands anyway. They can't fight this many people on their own." she explained, looking sideways at him the whole time.

He looked back and grinned at her, "You're doing the right thing, Ellie."

"Thanks."

"I hope Maria will explain to the guards why a dozen young people are leaving the neighborhood at the same time. I don't want them bothering us."

Ellie rolled her eyes, "If she's sober enough."

Ben just raised an eyebrow in response, but said nothing.

"You know," he said "sorry about that thing today."

"What thing?"

"When I almost shot you."

"Oh." Ellie said and looked away, stroking the broken watch on her left as the smile faded away from her face. "You already apologized. It's not a big deal."

Not a big deal? I almost killed you… "Alright. Glad we're good."

"Yeah." her voice was a whisper.

With each word they said to each other, Ben kind of felt the distance between them. The distance he couldn't exactly explain or describe. Yes, he sacrificed himself for her in Seattle. Yes, she cried for him when she thought he was dead and then she welcomed him back with open arms. Yes, they cared deeply for each other, now perhaps more than ever. But they were distant. And he was different. Annabel changed him. Seattle changed him. There was a wall between them. The wall that he couldn't cross. They talked, yet their conversation was nothing like before.

She would say something – followed by his pretendedly interested response.

He said something – and she politely laughed.

Neither of them were talking about things that really mattered: their deepest secrets, their hidden pain, or what brought them true joy. There they were, completely blind to how superficial their conversation really was.

"Okay guys." Ellie announced after a while, "I'm sorry, but this isn't meant to be a party. We should all rest for tomorrow. I'll get up early and gather some more people. Until then… see ya."

Ben looked up at the clock and saw the time. It was quite late and he could use some rest. Jesse was first to walk outside, followed by Cat, Julia and then Dina, leaving Ben to be the last. Just as he was putting the poncho over his head, Ellie appeared in front of him.

"Hey, um, sorry about Cat."

Ben shook his head, "There's nothing to be sorry about."

"Yes, there is. I know what she's like, she kinda looks at you as a threat."

Ben raised his eyebrow.

"We um, please don't tell Dina… we kinda kissed last night."

Ben could just stare at her in disbelief, hoping he didn't look dumb. Then he felt warm around his cheeks, but played it off by cracking a smile. "Well, I'm glad I wasn't there to make the whole thing awkward like last time." Ellie smiled nervously to that. "That still doesn't explain why she sees me as a threat."

Ellie opened her mouth to utter something, then closed it. It took her a total ten seconds to finally begin, "I don't know why, but I know her. Perhaps she thinks I'm into you or something."

This sentence froze Ben in time and space. Say what?

"But I like girls, you know that." Ellie added in a rush, playing with her fingers the way she always does when she's nervous. "I trust you, that's why I said it."

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Great, um, thanks for the trust." Now I sound dumb as shit. "Okay, see ya in the morning."

"Good night." she said and walked him out. The orange light that bathed him disappeared when Ellie closed the door. With his hands in his pockets, he walked the deserted streets of Jackson. He was annoyed by the fact that his conversation with Ellie was so awkward. When it hasn't been awkward, though? I wish I was like Jesse. He knows his way around girls. He muttered to himself as he walked toward his house, constantly feeling the eyes on his back. The eyes he couldn't see, the eyes that were always watching.

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