Liv is sitting in the waiting area. The last two days have been a bit daunting. From the time she got to the hospital it has been one thing after another. Jake stayed at his office and went on a drinking binge. He fell into his glass table and thank goodness, after calling his mother drunk, she got worried and came to check on him. It was horrifying to find him that way. He had a large cut across his abdomen. He lost a lot of blood, busted his knee and broke his arm. He was already in surgery to repair the laceration and he needed a pint of blood. He had a few cuts on his face but it could have been worse. He tried to stop his fall before it happened. It could have been worse.
Fitz has been texting her to see how Jake was doing, mainly to check on her. She was too nervous to talk and she's been inundated with her inlaws. Jake's sister flew in. Most of all she's been dealing with Jake's mom. She felt it was best to just deal with one thing at a time and right now and right now that is The Ballards.
Liv is asleep in the chair in Jake's room. His mom has been holding vigil there. The doctor comes in and wakes them up. The both sleeping the best way anyone can in a hospital, "Mrs. Ballard," he says. They both wake up.
"Doctor," Olivia says as she checks to see if there is drool.
"Is there something wrong with my son?"
"No, everything is good. He should be waking up any time now. He's very lucky his injuries weren't worse. I just wanted to talk about his recovery."
"What about it?" Liv asks.
"We need to have a definitive plan for when he is released. I don't foresee that being for another week. We need to make sure the laceration is healing properly before we release him. He is going to need proper care and recovery."
Liv looks over at his mom, "What do you suggest doctor?"
"Well he will need round the clock care until that knee is healed and he can walk on his own. That knee is going to take longer than the arm injury."
"Are there some facilities we can look into?" Liv asks.
"I don't want my son in a facility. No one can take care of him better than family."
"How long do you see the recovery doctor?" Liv asks.
"About 2 months," he says.
Liv walks away, looking over at Jake and then the doctor. She looks pointedly at her mother in law, knowing what she's saying is pointless, "Well it should be Jake's decision. I am sure he wants to get the best care possible so he can heal."
"It should be his decision for sure but he would want to be with family," his mom answers.
Just as she says this, Jake starts to stir, "Mom," he says. He hears her voice.
"I'm right here son," she answers as Jake struggles to open his eyes.
Liv doesn't know exactly what to say. Her mind is running a marathon and she's trying to catch up. "How do you feel?" she asks.
"Glad you are here Liv," he says as he reaches for her hand.
She doesn't want to seem like the estranged wife, after all, her husband nearly died but she doesn't feel like his wife. She takes his hand, "You gave us a scare there."
"I'm sorry," he says.
"Son, what were you thinking? Drinking that way," she says.
He looks over at Liv, even though everyone in the room besides the doctor knows why he was drinking. "I just…." The sadness in his eyes is almost too much for her.
"Well we can scold you about that later," Liv detracts.
"Mr. Ballard, you are very lucky that your mom found you when she did. You could have lost a lot more blood," the doctor says as he checks Jakes pupils and vitals. Olivia and his mom just watch. "How's the pain on a scale of 1-10?"
"11," Jake answers.
"That's to be expected. I am going to get a nurse in here so we can get you a sponge bath and bag change."
"Thanks doctor," Liv says.
"Thank you doctor," Mrs. Ballard follows suit.
He leaves out as Jake can tell he woke up in time to interrupt something, "Everything okay?"
Mrs. Ballard has always babied him. She moves to him quickly, "Nothing is wrong son. We were just talking about your recovery after you get out of this rotten place."
"What about it?"
"The doctor says you are going to need round the clock care for the next 2 months," she says quickly.
He looks at Liv, "Well, we will figure it out."
"Well there's really nothing to figure out. You will go home with Olivia."
Olivia's eyes widen. She's almost sure she didn't hear what she heard but she knows she did. "What?"
"You live closer to the hospital in Lincoln Park than I do in Long Grove," she stresses.
"Logistically, yes, I am closer to the hospital but I can't take care of him 24/7 becaues I work and," Before Liv can finish.
Jake interrupts, "Yeah, it's not fair to ask Liv."
"She's your wife," Mrs. Ballard says rolling her eyes at Liv.
"You have a large house and enough space. He can live there…." she stops. She knows she's frustrated.
The nurse comes in just in time to stop the inciting war of words from happening. "Mr. Ballard, I'm here to give you your sponge bath and change your bags."
"We will go out and come back when you are done," Liv says as she quickly goes out. Mrs. Ballard comes stumping behind. They get back to the waiting area.
"It's enough you are divorcing him. You don't even want to take care of him when he needs you."
"You can't guilt me into this. He needs care.I get that but it's not my responsibility," Liv argues.
"You are still Mrs. Jake Ballard. It's still your responsibility," his mom answers.
"I can't be there 24/7," she reiterated. She takes a deep breath, "I agree he needs to be close to his doctors and I am sure he's going to need physical therapy.."
"Well, as his wife.."
Before Liv can answer, Jake's sister JoAnna arrives. "I got lunch. This food just ain't cutting it," she says happily as she can see Olivia and her mom look tense. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Olivia says. "I need to go make a few phone calls. I need to check in with my secretary. I'll be back," she says. Olivia leaves as JoAnna looks at her mom as if she knows she's at fault for the not so calm mood in the air.
Fitz and his mother are having lunch not too far from the hospital. Fitz's plan is to make a surprise visit there to try and get info on Jake's condition and check on Olivia without being suspicious. Mrs. Corinne Grant is an elegant woman with dark hair. She's petite in stature but well polished and well groomed.
"How's everything been son? You only wanted to talk to me. What's going on?"
"I cannot have this conversation with dad, not right now.," he says.
"Are you in some kind of trouble?"
"Mom, you act like I am in the mob of something. I am not in trouble," he laughs.
"Well, when your son wants to talk to you without his father, a mother wonders."
"I just don't feel like him saying what I am doing is going to mess up my life," Fitz answers as he looks down at his watch.
"What's going on Fitz?" She asks. Then she stops and looks at his face. She knows him well. She can tell that he's distracted by his watch and phone. "Does this have something to do with Mellie? How are the therapy sessions going?"
Fitz takes a sip of his white wine, "Yes, this is about Mellie and the therapy sessions," he answers but he's uncomfortable and his mother can tell that too.
"I thought you liked the sessions and you thought it was helping both of you. You really liked the therapist."
"Yes. I really like the therapist but...…" He looks at his phone again.
"But what?" she asks.
"She switched us to another therapist. We are going to start with her next week," he shakes his head.
"Why did you have to switch?"
"That's the problem," he says as he can't catch his breath almost.
"Fitz, tell me what's going on son."
"I fell for her. I fell for her hard. She's all I think about. She's all I can think about."
"Then the therapy is working. You are falling in love with your wife again. That is what you wanted but you look like you are scared out of your mind," she answers.
"I didn't fall for my wife," he answers.
She puts her iced tea down. "Then I don't understand."
"I am not talking about Mellie," Fitz says. He knows if he says it out loud. If he gives 'she' a name, then it is all real.
"Well who are you talking about?" She asks. She then stops thinking about what he said and the fact that they had to change therapist. "Your therapist," she says.
Fitz looks at her. He doesn't answer. He just shakes his head.
"Fitz, you didn't sleep with her did you?"
"No mom, I didn't sleep with her. But…. I...I don't know what it is. Everything about her excites me.."
"What in the hell are you doing Fitz? You were supposed to be trying to help your marriage, not falling for your therapist."
"Mom, don't you think I know that? I went to therapy so I could help myself and my wife and.."
"Something must have happened between the two of you," she answers as she notices he is anxious for the phone to ring or a text to appear.
"It wasn't just one thing. She's beautiful. She's smart. She's sexy but those aren't the only things. She finishes my sentences. She always seems to know what I was thinking or feeling and could convey it to Mellie in our sessions. And we just had this connection that I knew was outside of the sessions."
"And you didn't sleep with her," his mom says again.
"No, I didn't. I just know that she's the one," Fitz says.
"Well what happened she switched your therapist. She had to know something. Something must have happened."
"We've talked a few times away from sessions. I initiated it. It wasn't her. But she feels the connection just like I do."
"Well, I haven't met her but she did the right thing by getting you a new therapist but…"
"Mellie and I have been honest about some things in our sessions and I know what I have to do."
"What do you have to do?"
Fitz gulps down his water, "I have to divorce my wife."
Corinne pushes her plate back, "Fitz, you can't divorce your wife over some fairytale. That's not grounds for a divorce. What if she?..."
Fitz interrupts her, "Olivia," he says.
"What if this Olivia doesn't feel the same way? Is she married?"
"Yes, she is, but they are separated. I am pretty sure she feels the same way, even if she can't say it," he says quickly.
"But what if she decides to get back with her husband. What are you going to do? You will leave your family for nothing."
"Mom, Mellie and I had these problems before we started therapy. I think we realize we shouldn't be married."
"And you've discussed this with Mellie. You two are both on the same page."
"We haven't sat down yet. I moved into the guest house for now."
"Did this Olivia encourage that?"
"No, I did. I needed to do this."
Corinne shakes her head, "You need to be sure because you go down that path Fitz. You don't want to lose your wife or your family because you are going through a midlife crisis."
"Mom, you married dad, why?"
She turns her head to him, "What kind of question is that? You know why I married your father. Because I was in love with him. I do love him. Why did you marry Mellie?"
"That's the problem mom. I realize I didn't marry her for those reasons. I love my wife but I'm not in love with her. I think it would be shitty to stay in this, knowing how I feel."
"Son, I don't expect you to stay in a marriage you don't want. I just want you to be sure you are leaving for the right reasons. If this Olivia is one of the right reasons then I want you to be happy. "
"Mom, I married for perfection and not for love. I need to spend the rest of my life with someone I'm in love with," he stresses.
Corinne puts her hands on top of Fitz, "Then I'm in your corner son," she stops and then says, "Are you waiting for her to call?"
He smiles, knowing his mom is always the observant one. "Something like that."
Liv is sitting in the hospital cafeteria on the phone with her mom. She's on edge and she knows this is not going to get any easier.
"Liv, I may hate what he did to you but I didn't want him to get hurt," Maya says.
"He's been drinking ever since I told him it was definitely over. Ever since I said I am going through with the divorce, this is what he's been doing."
"Livvie, you take everything to heart. This is not your fault. You caught him cheating, he can't drink that away."
"The problem is, he is trying to drink it all away. That's why he's in the hospital now."
Maya takes a deep breath, "I know his mother is protecting her son just as I would protect you but she can't guilt you into taking Jake in for his recovery."
"I know that mom and I know all the reasons why it's the worst idea. I don't want Jake to think there is a chance for her. Or thinking I agreed to this so I because there is a chance for us to start over. I don't want to start over," she says sad and somberly. "At least I don't want to start over with him," he finishes.
May is reading between the lines, "Livvie, who is he?"
"What do you mean?"
"There's someone on the horizon, isn't there?"
Liv tries to act like she's totally oblivious to what she means. "I am not seeing anyone. I haven't even divorced my husband yet."
"No, you haven't but you've been separated for a year and my daughter is beautiful and smart and any sane man wouldn't hesitate to enjoy the pleasure of her company," Maya encourages.
"Mom, I don't know why you think there is someone."
"Livvie, I knew you were still hurting over Stephen and what could have been when Jake came along. He was a nice guy, a good guy but I didn't see that look in your eye. I didn't hear that sound in your voice."
"What sound?"
"The sound I heard when you said you didn't want to start over with him. That sound I heard is that there's someone who's shown you an option. He's gotten under your skin. Soooo," Maya explains.
"The District of Columbia could use you on their profiling team," Liv laughs.
"Okay, what's his name?"
"I can't tell you that Mommie," she says, which she never uses that form unless she's trapped inside her thoughts.
"Oh it's really bad," Maya says.
"His name is Fitzgerald Grant," Liv answers.
"That sounds like a great strong name. Sounds like vanilla ice cream. Is he vanilla ice cream?"
Liv doesn't answer. Right now she's taken back to that moment in her kitchen when his tongue grazed against her lips. "He's much more than that," Liv says it before she can stop herself. "Forget I said that," Liv finishes.
"No, I can't forget you said it. What else?"
"He is towering and sexy and smart. He makes the hairs on my head and arms stand up. I wonder what it would be like to be his and then I remember all the reasons why it's wrong for me to have these thoughts."
"Why is it wrong? If you two are attracted to each other then all you two have to do is go for it."
"We can't. We can't do that right now," she answers.
"Why are you making this sound like it's so complicated? Unless you are going to tell me he's married and I know you would never do that."
Liv turns stoic and quiet. She knows her silence will be the answer but she has a defense for her feelings and what's happening. The problem is she knows she's in the middle of the ocean and in order to swim back to shore, she has to pass her mother first. "He is married."
"Olivia Carolyn Pope," Maya says in that tone that Liv only heard when she was in trouble.
"Mom, I feel bad enough but we haven't done anything," Liv defends.
"You are a marriage therapist and you are breaking up someone's marriage. You do see the terrible irony in all of this Livvie."
Liv knows the story will reveal itself someday, so she might as well narrate it before she can't. "He and his wife were my patients."
Maya doesn't even answer at first. She scratches her head in confusion. "You got involved with one of your patients."
"That's like a bad Lifetime movie, you know that has one of those totally elementary titles, My Doctor, My Love," Maya jokes.
"Mom, now is not the time for bad jokes. I feel bad enough as it is."
"You don't want to lose your license or get in trouble."
"That is why they are no longer my patients. It was already getting in the way of my objectivity and I didn't want her to start feeling that. I was getting dangerously close to that point of no return."
"What are you going to do? You said you haven't been intimate."
"No, we haven't. We've come almost kissed."
"And you wanted it," Maya says.
Liv's palms are sweaty. She's clammy, "I didn't just want it. I needed it And the phone call about Jake stopped us."
"Interesting," Maya says.
"Divine intervention but I guess it was a sign," Liv tries to resolve.
"We both know it wasn't. What are you going to do?"
I don't know mom. I don't know," Liv answers.
"I think you know but you have to be smart about this Liv. You have to be real smart," Maya responds.
Liv smiles into the phone. She knows everything her mom says is true. She knows she has to be smart. She also knows that she has to do what's best for everyone. She looks at her phone after hanging up with her mom and she decides it's time to answer Fitx
Liv: I'll let you know when I'm home. There's a lot going on and my in-laws are more than a handful.
Fitz is happy to finally hear from her. Thanks to her text he decides it's not the smart decision to go to the hospital with her 'family,' all around.
Fitz: Thanks for letting me know you are okay. Talk to you soon.
Liv: I hope so. She answers with a smile so wide it even surprises her.
Just knowing he's thinking of her and worrying about her makes it easier to go back in and deal with family a little while more.
Liv makes it back to Jake's hospital room. His mom and sister are sitting there.
"He's sleeping," Liv says.
"Yes! They gave him some more pain meds. He's in a lot of pain," JoAnna answers.
"My poor baby," Mrs. Ballard says.
Jake begins to wake up, he's groggy. "I am not a baby mom."
"You'll always be my baby," she answers holding his hand. "Did you make your calls Olivia?"
"Yes, I was able to. I need to reschedule some sessions."
"Is it fun?" JoAnna asks.
"Is that fun?" Liv responds.
"Being a marriage therapist. You get inside people's heads and work on their marriages."
Liv is about to answer when she looks over at Mrs. Ballard who throws in some shade. "Ironic, isn't it?
Liv decides to defend herself, "Well it's not fun because sometimes you have to help a couple realize there's nothing left. Or, you help them realize there is everything to fight for. And sometimes, you just help them spice up their marriage. It's an emotional rollercoaster."
"Marriage is definitely that," Mrs. Ballard finishes. "There are good times and bad but you work through it." Jake can tell that Olivia is upset. Before he can call off the dog that is his mother, Liv makes her own escape.
Liv is tired of this song and dance, especially right now. "I better get going. I have a few sessions tomorrow."
"Mom, why don't you go home and get some sleep and come back tomorrow?" Jake says.
"No, what if you have a bad night?"
"Mom, he's a big boy. He has a team of people that will take care of him. You need to sleep in a real bed tonight. That's not good for your back and you keep forgetting you had a hip replacement."
"I didn't forget. I feel it everyday," she argues.
Liv closes her eyes, hating to let these words come out of her mouth, "Why don't both of you stay with me for the night?"
"Liv I can drive mom back to the house."
"I have two extra bedrooms and a basement."
"We don't want to impose Liv," JoAnna says.
"You aren't imposing," Liv lies but she feels like it is the right thing to do in the moment.
"Thanks Liv," Jake says.
She eyes him, hoping he can translate what she can't verbally say. "It's the least I can do."
All three of them prepare to leave.
Fitz is sitting with his lawyer, Antonio Vargas. He's been his lawyer since he was paid for the patent and started working on other projects.
"I know you've been thinking about it a long time. You are finally going to do it."
"I think it's the right thing man, you know. I have to do this before I really hurt her."
"Why would you hurt her?"
Fitz trails off in his thoughts, "I am pretty sure I met the woman I should be married to and trying to fix this marriage. I was committed to it. I wanted to do it for my kids. I wanted to do it for her. I wanted to do it for myself."
"Then you met this stranger," Antonio says.
"I met this stranger who...everything about her. I want to know more about her. I want to just be with her. When I'm around it feels right. I want it to be right."
"Man, I believe in soulmates. I believe sometimes you meet the right one at the wrong time. I'm not judging you."
"What do I need to do?"
"You need to think about what deals you want to put on the table. There's a lot of money involved and you have kids. This could go very smooth or this could be a nasty battle."
"I don't want this to be nasty. I want this to be as painless as possible, especially for the kids."
"Okay well, look through everything, come up with some ideas and we will go from there," Antonio answers. "In the meantime, what are you doing to do?"
"I'm already living in the guest house right now. For now, per the norm."
"This woman, will Mellie be able to pull out the infidelity card."
Fitz lets out a labored breath, "This is wrong of me but unfortunately she can't pull out that card."
"This woman must be worth it if you are willing to risk that," Antonio says.
"She is and my fear is I'll wait too long and I'll let her get away. I can't let that happen," Fitz says as he gets up grabbing his jacket.
"I must meet this woman, in time of course. The woman who has Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III walking on clouds."
Fitz reaches for the handle of the door, "You won't forget her when you do," Fitz says as he leaves.
It's later on that evening and Liv has taken them out for dinner. They arrive back at the house and they are all tired from the day.
JoAnna looks around, "I can't believe I haven't visited since you two moved in here."
Liv looks around. "5 year JoJo," Liv answers with a familiar laugh.
"Fine, make me feel bad why don't you," she says putting her purse down. Jake's mom has been quiet since she walked in.
"You always had beautiful taste Olivia," she says as she looks around the house at the decor.
"Thanks," she answers. "Make yourself comfortable. Your bedrooms are ready. My housekeeper was here and made sure everything was freshened up and ready."
"Olivia, we need to talk about Jake's care until he's better." Mrs. Ballard gets straight to the point.
"Mrs. Ballard, I will make sure I pick the best nurse he needs to stay at his condo and he will get round the clock care."
"Olivia, the least you can do is let him stay here. I'll stay here with him."
"What?" Olivia says.
"I will stay here with him, with the nurse, and make sure he's taken care of."
JoAnna decides to step in, "Mom, what can you help with? You don't have the strength for that."
"The nurse will be here during the day and Olivia will be here at night," she bombards her way.
"Mom, Liv has a point. They are separated and getting a divorce. Jake is really not her responsibility anymore."
"We are taking care of your brother," she answers as she looks at Olivia. "What's two more months of your life Olivia? If you ever loved him, this shouldn't be hard to do. He would do it for you."
"Under the circumstances, I wouldn't ask him, out of respect for his feelings," Liv answers.
"Do it for him," she says.
"Mom," JoAnna says, knowing she's out of line.
"The same way he did for me when he cheated on me," Liv spits.
"From what I heard, the both of you had your share of mess ups," she answers letting Liv know that she knows her little secret. That punches Liv in the gut.
"I don't want Jake to believe that me deciding to let him recover here has more meaning than it does. We are not getting back together."
"Maybe this is what you both need," pushes.
Liv closes her eyes. She takes a long deep breath. "He can recover here and of course you are welcome. We will look for a nurse that can do special hours. My hours are strange so you can't count on me to do 8-5 and come home."
JoAnna decides it's time to cut this short for the night, "I'm gonna go to bed. Mom, why don't you get a good night's sleep?"
"That sounds good," she answers.
"Have a good night! I will check before I go to bed," Liv says. "JoAnna your room is to the right and your mom's to the left."
JoAnna looks at Liv, "She just wants you to forgive him and try to make it work."
"We can't make it work JoJo and it's not just because he cheated. But...thank you for understanding my side of things."
"I love my brother but he fucked up. If it were me, I would have done what you did," she answers.
"Thank you, goodnight!"
"Goodnight," JoJo responds.
Fitz is sitting in the house. Mellie has decided to spend the week with her parents, taking Karen and Gerry with her. Fitz thinks it would be better for the kids to stay with him and it would be easier for him to take them to school. They can't agree on it, so Fitz gave in to it.
Mellie has her bags. She's in their bedroom, "So I told the kids I needed to go help Grandma and Grandpa with some things. Of course Karen wanted to know why you couldn't come too."
"You can leave Gerry. It will be some father and son time. I'll make sure he gets to school."
"Fitz, you'd have to make sure he.."
"Mellie, I know how to take care of my son."
"I am sorry, I didn't mean to imply you didn't."
"I know you didn't," he answers.
"So, I don't know what to say to you right now."
"That's good! We don't want to say something to each other that we can't take back. Let's just use this week to evaluate some things," Fitz answers. Deep down he wishes he could just ask for the divorce right now but he knows it would be cruel and he wants to have everything laid out when she gets back.
"I agree!," she answers. "Do you want to talk to Gerry or should I?"
"You can talk to him since you are leaving," Fitz answers.
"Don't forget that the landscaper is not coming. I got a call from his secretary, he was in a bad accident," she says.
"I know," Fitz slips quickly.
"How do you know?"
"I heard the message she left and it slipped my mind to tell you," Fitz tries to cover.
"Well, she said she would call back once things calmed down and try to work something out."
"Don't worry about it! I'll take care of it," Fitz says.
"Well, I'll go talk to Gerry," she says leaving with her bag.
"I'll say goodbye to Karen," he says as he goes out.
They talk to their children and the house that was 4 becomes 2 at least for a week.
Liv is lying in bed, tossing and turning. Today did not go the way she envisioned it going. At the end of the day, she didn't expect for her soon to be ex-husband to be moving in, in a week. And to top it all off, her soon to be ex-mother in-law will be tagging along. She's restless and she's afraid to call what could be the cure to it. She finds a movie to watch on tv and she lies there then her house phone rings. She quickly picks up.
"Hi," she says.
"Hi," he responds. "You picked up on the first ring."
"I figured it was you plus," she's about to say she doesn't want to wake up her guests but she decides not to.
"How is he?" He asks.
"He's okay! He could have died had his mother not gotten there when she did but he's going to be okay."
"Are you going to be okay?" He asks.
"I guess so. It's been an interesting 2 days."
"Yes it has," he agrees.
"Are you in the guest house?" She knows she has no right to ask but she does anyway.
"No, I am actually in the house," he answers.
She can't hide her disappointment, "Oh okay! That's promising, right?"
"It would be if my wife were here?"
She tries not to smile but her curiosity is at a level high now, "Where is she? I know it's none of my business."
"She went to stay with her parents for a week," he answers.
She hesitates, "And you are alone?" She subtly probes.
"My son will be with me. We will get some time in but my daughter is with her."
"Did this have something to do with our last session?"
"Yes, it did."
She knows she shouldn't ask the questions that come to mind but she wants to understand, "I'm assuming this was her idea. She's embarrassed," Liv says.
"Why is she embarrassed?" Fitz asks.
"It's hard for a woman to admit the darkest parts of herself. She admitted that your marriage, for her, maybe have been based on the physical and not love."
"She has no reason to be jealous. She was just being honest."
"Honesty can sometimes be heartbreaking and maybe for her, it wasn't a reality she wanted to face."
"How about you? Did you face a reality when you got that phone call?"
"What do you mean?"
"You got that call that most spouses hate. That call that can either change your life or scare you shitless. Or, the call becomes the escape plan that he or she is looking for."
"I didn't want my husband to die," Liv answers.
"I know you didn't. Maybe this will put you back together."
She's surprised by his words but he's probing just as hard as she is, "Is that what you want?"
"For you and your husband to rekindle what's been broken….no that's not what I want." He pauses, knowing her next answer could break his heart or make it happy. "Is that what you want?"
She is now sitting up in her bed, propped on her pillow. "No, that's not what I want."
"What do you want Dr. Olivia Pope?" He says.
"I could ask you the same thing. What do you want Mr. Grant?"
He takes a sip of his scotch, "I want to follow my heart."
"Where is your heart leading you?" She wants to know more than she's ever wanted to know any secret.
"You," he answers simply.
"What?" She responds but she can't help but smile from ear to ear.
"I told you the other night. I want to know you. I want to date you. I want you to know how I love when my heart is in it."
"My head tells me that this is not right. My head tells me all the clinical reasons this is wrong. My head tells me all the logical reasons this is wrong…"
Fits stops her, "But what does your heart tell you?"
"I rushed to that hospital to check on my husband. And my heart was beating fast. In fact it was pounding and all those morbid thoughts crossed my mind, What if he dies?" It would make it easier then I thought what kind of woman am I for thinking that. But, all I could focus on, sitting in that waiting room was your lips graced mind. I thought about how when you licked your lips and your tongue grazed my skin, I wanted to be back in that moment," she confesses.
"That's exactly how I feel. I needed that kiss," he answers.
She closes her eyes. Tears began to form in her eyes and she doesn't even know why. She just can't believe he just said the same thing she said to her mother, she needed that kiss. "I needed it too," she responds.
"You still didn't answer my question. I forgot I'm dealing with a medical professional. You know how to evade the question but the question still stands," he says as he finishes the glass of scotch.
"What question?"
"What does your heart tell you?"
"That there is something about you I can't ignore. I feel like if I do…"
"You will make the biggest mistake of your life," he finishes.
She closes her eyes, "Yes. And I feel like I shouldn't feel that way."
"What are we going to do? Where do we go from here? I know where I want to go and it probably makes me look like an ass, even to you but I'm done lying to myself."
"I don't think you are an ass. I see men like you in my office all the time that want to leave their wives or partners because they realize they aren't happy or even in love but you are the first man that searched their soul for an answer and in the clearing saw me," she responds.
"If we both feel the same way and I think we do, then…"
"I can't do it right now Fitz. I just can't and I hope you understand."
"I know this is a lot but make me understand what you are feeling or what scares you."
"Everything about you scares me. I shouldn't feel the way I do with you or around you but I do and I've never felt this way before and it scares me. I know how to categorize everyone's feelings and why they have them and I can't say the same for myself."
"I'm scared of you too," Fitz admits.
"Why?"
"No one has ever captured me like you have. I know that I never felt this way before and that's why I believe it's right and it's real. So, I'll ask again, what do you want?"
"Don't make me answer it," she says softly and faintly.
"I told you what I wanted. I laid my heart out right there. Give me something here."
"I can't give you that right now because I can't commit to that answer right now."
"I have to go. I should go," Liv says. She doesn't know how to explain to him about Jake moving back in and her mother in law. It will drastically change her privacy. How can she talk to him at night with her husband down the hall?
"Don't run away from me Livvie! Don't run away," he says with a desperation she can visualize and feel.
She notices the simple flow he had calling her Livvie and the way it rolled off his tongue felt right, "Just trust me. Right now, I can't give you what you want to hear."
"You just told me what your heart wants, so even if you don't say it, I know. I'm not going to give up," he answers.
"I don't expect you to," she answers with a tone of flirtation.
"Good," he answers.
"Can you do me a favor?" She asks knowing it's going to raise his suspicions.
"Anything," he says.
"Can you not call me on my home phone again?"
"What?" He says.
"Just please call me on my cell phone," she finishes, nervous just asking him.
He's instantly relieved, she's not cutting out communication, "Sure, but are you going to tell me why?"
"I want to tell you but I don't think you will understand. I am not even sure I understand myself," she says.
"Try me," he quickly answers.
"I don't think you and I should talk for the next 2 months," she lets out.
"Two months."
"Jake will be living here while he recovers and his mother will be here too."
"You are right, I don't understand."
"It was not my idea and I am not happy with it but this was a fight I didn't want to have and he's still by law, my husband."
Fitz is jealous and he's not even trying to hide it, "So you are going to be his bedside nurse."
"We are hiring a nurse but he will be here," she finishes.
"What does that entail? Will you act like husband and wife? Or will you act like exes?"
"I don't know what it looks like."
"You and I both know what he is expecting from this."
"It wasn't his was his mother's," she says quickly.
"So, you want me to distance myself from you for 2 months and hope that you won't go back to your husband in that time."
"I am not going back to my husband. That's not going to happen," she responds.
"How can you be sure?"
"You could reconcile with your wife. How can I be sure you won't do that? I already know you can't answer that."
"I can answer that," he says almost flippantly.
"Fitz," she says and he just rolls off her tongue so easily.
"I won't go back to my wife because she's not my life goal, you are," he answers. And in that moment she's putty in his hands and he doesn't even know it. "My goal is to make Sweet Baby mine. I am not going to let your ex husband take that from me," she can hear the determination in his voice.
"Why Sweet Baby?" She asks. Meanwhile her mother in law was coming to speak with her. She can hear muffled sound of Olivia's voice talking.
"In my dreams, you are my baby. Everything about you is so sweet. Your voice is sweet. Your lips are plump and sweet. Your taste is so sweet. I'm going to make my dream a reality."
She is wet in arousal and breathing heavy. His voice saying those words. The visual of being loved by him. "You make is sound simple."
"It will be...," he answers.
The is a knock at the door and Olivia hears her name, "I better go. I think I have a visitor," she says to him. She looks up and speaks, "I'll be right there."
He hates it but he will do it, "Okay, I guess I'll let you go. You get your beauty sleep and figure out how you and I can see each other no matter what. Goodnight !" he hangs up.
She waits and realizes he's gone, "Goodnight," she says even though he doesn't hear. She gets up and opens her door to find her mother in law there. "Is everything okay?"
"Is everything okay with Jake?" She asks.
"Everything is fine, I presume," Liv answers.
"I heard the phone ring and it's late so I was afraid the hospital called."
"No, everything is fine. Let me get that blanket for you," she says as Liv leads her back to her room.
She comes back to her room and shakes her head. His mother was always nosy. She grabs her phone she wants to talk to him again. She loves his voice circling in her ear. It's like he can hear her thoughts. He texts her.
Fitz: In your dreams, who am I?
Liv smiles. She hates how he knows how to peel the layers from her and leave her bare, just with his words.
Liv: Why do you think I dream about you?
Fitz: Are you telling me you don't?
Liv: It's possible.
Fitz: And in your dreams, am I sweet?
Liv bites her bottom lip. How does he see through her?
Liv: You are sweeter. She answers and sends him a blushing face.
Fitz laughs. He knows he has her.
Fitz: I got you to admit you dream about me.
Liv: You tricked me.
Fitz: I sure did. Sweet dreams Sweet Baby.
Liv: Sweet dreams!
She doesn't know what to do. She just knows that somehow in a span of weeks, there are two men in her life that need her. One she is betrothed to and the other who is betrothed to someone else. How is she going to be the woman they both need without being more than she should to one? And the other, he just wants her and she's not in a place to give herself to him, at least not yet.
