Disclaimer: I don't own the Dukes of Hazzard or Stargate SG-1. Not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Language

Rating: FRT

Italics and/or indicates thoughts

Through The Looking Glass

Chapter 8

"I'm so sorry y'all spent all this time thinking I was dead," Bo once again tried to apologize.

"Bo...did you ask for what happened?" Luke asked.

"Hell no, I would've rather died in that cave then to have lived like I have since," Bo immediately replied.

"Then you ain't got anything to apologize for," Luke assured him again. "I can't even imagine what you've been through. As much as I wish you hadn't been taken as a host, I can't help being glad to have you back among the living.."

"I'm happy to back on Earth too, especially since I never thought I'd be here again. Look, I know y'all probably have a lot of questions, but can we please talk about something else?" Bo quietly asked. "Luke I hear you were a smoke jumper for the Forestry Service, how'd that happen?"

"Actually that was an accident, I literally stumbled into it. After you were gone, I tried to stay in Hazzard, I didn't want to desert Uncle Jesse and Daisy. I couldn't do it though, everywhere I went I saw you, or expected to see you. I stayed for a little over a year, but finally I had to admit that I needed to get away from Hazzard, from all the memories. So I called Coy and Vance to come help Uncle Jesse, then I left town. For awhile I just bummed around the country, I didn't really know what I wanted to do. That's not true, I knew what I wanted, but I didn't have the nerve to do it..." Luke trailed off, not sure if he should tell Bo the rest.

"Did you ever try?" Bo asked.

"Try?" Luke looked up at Bo, not sure what he meant.

"To kill yourself, that is what you meant isn't it?"

"How did you...? Yeah that's what I meant and no I never tried. I never did figure out exactly why, then two years after I left Hazzard I was camping; when my life changed again. Sometime during the night, a fire broke out. When I woke up, the woods were filled with smoke and I saw animals running everywhere trying to escape the fire. I grabbed a small emergency pack and started getting out, I hadn't gone far when I heard a little girl crying for help. With all the smoke and the noise from the fire it took me a little while to find her, she wasn't but seven years old. Somehow in the confusion, she'd gotten seperated from her folks, well I grabbed her up and started running again. About that time, the wind shifted and the fire jumped to another area. Next thing I know, our path of escape was cut off and we were trapped. I was looking all around, trying to figure out something I could do to save that little girl. That's when I saw the pond, it wasn't very big, but it was big enough. I got us into the water, broke off a couple of hollow reeds to breathe through and we waited. As soon as the fire was close enough, we ducked under the water and stayed there until the fire had passed by. Luckily it was a fast moving fire, so we didn't have to stay there long. The minute it was safe, I headed out again. Two things happened that day Bo, I found the will to live again and the Forestry Service was impressed enough to offer me a job."

"I can see why they were impressed," Bo spoke sincerely. "I wish you hadn't been so hurt that you left Hazzard, but I'm damn glad you found a reason to go on. And Daisy, what about you girl? Cooter said you have a Ph.D. in ecology from Duke university. How did you decide on ecology?" Bo cheerfully asked, trying to ignore the memories that rose to the surface when he looked at Daisy.

"Well after L.D. left, did Cooter tell you about L.D.?"

"He didn't say his name, but he told me about your husband," Bo replied.

"Ex-husband now, anyway after L.D. left I decided I never wanted to be in a position like that again. So I pulled myself together and started thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. I was in Atlanta when L.D. left, I could've gone home but I hated to admit I'd been wrong about him. Sometimes that Duke pride can be a problem, but in the long run it was a good thing I had that pride. Living in Atlanta, working as a waitress was hard, but the hardest part was never being able to see anything natural, except in the parks. I was just drifting along, not sure what to do. Then I remembered what Uncle Jesse always said about us not owning the land, only borrowing it from future generations and I knew what to do. I enrolled in college and now I have a Ph.D. in ecology, it was the best way I could think of to ensure the land will be there for those future generations to use and enjoy."

"That's great Daisy!" Bo enthusiastically stated. "I'll bet Uncle Jesse was real proud of y'all, you really lived up to the Duke name." Bo tried to keep the bitterness from his voice, but some came through in spite of his efforts.

"You did too, or you wouldn't be here talking to us right now," Luke said, having noticed the bitter tone.

"Is that what you think Luke? Well let me tell you, I'm not here because of anything I did, it was just plain dumb luck. Ocasta miscalculated and we crashed a death glider on a Tok'ra planet, if it hadn't been for that one mistake, I'd still be a prisoner."

"Okay, but if you hadn't kept fighting would there have been anything of you left to save?" Luke asked, unknowingly reminding Bo again of what his Duke pride, his fighting spirit had cost.

"Yeah, my Duke pride was a great thing. It kept me fighting, never giving up and Ocasta made sure I paid for that, every day!" Bo yelled, turning away from his cousins and slamming his fist into the wall.

"Bo stop!" Daisy yelled, grabbing his arm before he could hit the wall again. Suddenly Bo turned towards her, and for the first time in her life Daisy was afraid of her cousin. Looking up into his eyes, she was surprised to see anger looking back at her.

"Leave me alone Daisy," Bo snapped at her, scared at the anger he could feel bubbling to the surface.

"Daisy, come here," Luke called, moving forward and gently manuevering her behind him. "Bo, I know you've had a hard time of it but that doesn't give you the right to treat Daisy like that."

"A hard time of it? No Luke, y'all had a hard time of it, I had a living hell. For fifteen years, Ocasta used my body to hurt as many people as he could and do you know why? Well I'll tell ya why cousin, because I couldn't give up my Duke pride and fighting spirit. He killed thousands of people, with my hands," Bo snarled, holding his hands up in front of him. "Killed them, hurt them, because I wouldn't give up, all because I wouldn't just lay down and let him take over. So don't you stand there and tell me that my fighting him is why I'm here today, like it's a good thing. Yeah I'm here, ain't that great and thousands of innocent people are dead!" Bo spoke bitterly, leaning against the wall and letting himself slide to the floor as he finally ran out of steam.

"I'm sorry you went through that Bo, and I'm sorry that Ocasta killed so many people. I know the memories of that will never leave you, but don't ask me to be sorry that you fought him," Luke told him, kneeling on the floor nearby. Moving forward, Luke shifted until he was sitting on the floor next to his youngest cousin.

"What makes me so special though? Why should I get to live, when they didn't?" Bo softly asked, leaning against his cousin's shoulder.

"Why shouldn't you?" Luke asked, just as quietly.

Bo turned his head slightly, glancing at his cousin, he wasn't sure what Luke meant.

"It's not fair that all of those people died, but from what I've read you had no control over that, right?"

"Right," Bo confirmed.

"Those Gou'ld, they killed people all the time too. I mean, even if you hadn't fought him, how do you know he wouldn't have killed them anyway?"

"Luke, maybe he would've killed some of them no matter what, but there were some he chose because of me," Bo explained.

"How's that?"

"Some were chosen simply because they reminded me of somebody, or because I liked the way they looked," Bo replied, knowing that it would cause more questions. Questions that he had no intention of answering.

"You mean because you were attracted to them?" Daisy asked, from where she sat on the floor next to the bed.

"Something like that, look I know y'all want answers about what all happened to me, but please don't ask me for details. I can't tell you anymore than I have, I won't tell you. It's bad enough that I have to live with the memories, I'm not going to ask y'all to live with them too."

"Alright Bo, we won't ask you to talk about it any more, but just remember if you need us, we're here," Luke said.

"Thanks Luke," Bo murmurred sleepily, the anger of moments ago seeping away and leaving a bone deep exhaustion in it's place.

Standing up, Luke pulled Bo to his feet and helped him to the bed. "Daisy, why don't you wait outside, I'll be out in a minute," Luke suggested. After Daisy left, he gently helped Bo to get dressed for bed. Watching Bo as he snuggled down under the covers, Luke smiled softly, savoring the simple sight of his cousin, something he'd never expected to see again. Quietly moving towards the door, Luke let himself out and met Daisy in the hall. "He's sleeping," he told her. Before he could speak again, he found himself yawning as the events of the day finally caught up to him. "I'm sorry Daisy, you, uh, want to go get a cup of coffee and talk?"

"I'm okay Luke, and we both need to get some sleep. Really, I'm fine, I admit he scared me there for a minute, but I'm over that, I promise," Daisy assured him. "Come on, see me to my door cousin and then you go get yourself some sleep," she gently ordered.

"Guess you're probably right, but if you change your mind, wake me up," Luke replied.

The next morning Luke stepped out of his quarters at nearly the same moment as his two cousins. "Now that's timing," he said, grinning at his younger cousins. "So, where can we get some breakfast in this place?"

"Cafeteria's this way," Bo replied, moving towards Daisy he took her arm in his and led the way.

Throughout breakfast the three cousins, by unspoken agreement, kept the conversation to general topics. Using the time to catch Bo up on some of the things he had missed while he was away. They told him about cell phones that were no longer big bulky things, but could now be hidden in the palm of your hand. They told him about people having computers in their homes and the internet. Microwave ovens that were now so cheap, nearly everybody had one; bread machines that would let you make your own bread, even if you couldn't bake. They talked easily about all of the ordinary things that Bo had missed out on, things that until then they had taken for granted. When breakfast was over, Bo lingered over his coffee, dreading as always the debriefing session he would soon have to leave for. Just as he was about to stand up, Bo saw Jack O'Neill walking into the room, Cooter beside him. "Hey Jack, I was just about to..."

"Don't worry about it kid, we're done," Jack interrupted Bo, taking him by surprise.

"Done?"

"Yep, I talked it over with Teal'c and General Hammond, we've decided that there's nothing else you can tell us. So, now we just have to come up with a cover story for you so you can go home," Jack explained.

"You mean it?" Bo asked, almost afraid to believe that he was almost all the way home.

"Absolutely, we just need to work out some de..."

"Not so fast Jack," the voice of Harry Maybourne spoke from the doorway, startling them all.

"Maybourne, what are you doing here?" Jack asked, a sneer clearly heard in his voice.

"The job you should be doing," Maybourne replied. "You've let your sympathy for Bo cloud your judgement..."

"Mr. Duke," Bo corrected, not willing to let this man speak as though they were friends.

"My apologies, Mr. Duke," Maybourne snidely replied. "As I was saying Jack, you've let your sympathy cloud your judgement. There have been some concerns raised about Mr. Duke and the possibility that he might be a Zatarc," Maybourne dropped his bombshell.

"You slimy little weasel, what are you trying to pull Harry?" Jack demanded, knowing exactly what Bo would be put through if this was allowed to continue.

"Why Jack, I'm not trying to pull anything, just protecting this planet. Isn't that what we're all concerned with?" Maybourne asked, in an oily voice.

"Bo, what's a zatarc?" Luke asked quietly.

"My ticket to a life spent locked in a cell," Bo muttered under his breath.

"What?" Luke asked, not having heard him.

"A zatarc is an assassin basically, only they don't know they're zatarcs until the trigger is pulled." Bo seeing the confused look on the faces of his cousins and friend, hurried to explain. "They're brainwashed by the Gou'ld, but it's done with chemicals and technology. The zatarc is programmed to carry out an assingment. The memory of that programming is buried deeply underneath a layer of false memories. That way the zatarc doesn't know anything, and can truthfully answer questions, even under pressure. The only way you'll know they're a zatarc is when whatever the programmed trigger happens to be, is activated. At that point they kill whoever they were programmed to, and then they kill themselves, keeping the enemy from knowing who sent the zatarc. There's no way to know until then, which means if he's convinced the right people that I might be a zatarc, I spend the rest of my life a prisoner of the U.S. military."

"Very good Mr. Duke, though you're not quite right," Maybourne praised Bo's explanation. "The Tok'ra have developed a way to break through the programming, so you won't have to be locked up after all," he explained with a smile.

"What isn't he telling me Jack?" Bo asked, knowing that if Maybourne were happy, that couldn't be good.

"The Tok'ra created this device that allows them to access your memories, even the ones you're not aware of. What he's not telling you is that it involves implanting a device right here," Jack explained, pointing to his own temple. "They hook you up to a monitoring device and you have to relive the memories that this device will pull up. Memories that while you're reliving them feel as though they're really happening and if you are a zatarc, your programming will make you kill yourself. That's of course after you've been put through hell, physically and emotionally."

"I won't do it," Bo immediately replied.

"You don't really have a choice Mr. Duke, you either submit to this procedure, or you will be locked up until you do," Maybourne explained.

"Luke!" Cooter yelled, grabbing his friend and holding him back, it wouldn't help Bo if Luke were charged with assault. "Stop it, ya ain't gonna help Bo by getting locked up," Cooter growled into his friend's ear, struggling to keep him away from Maybourne.

"Actually Maybourne, there's one more choice," Bo replied, startling them all when he reached out and grabbed Maybourne's gun. Chambering a round, he pulled the hammer back and placed the pistol against his own temple.

TBC

Yep, another cliffhanger. Please feed the muse, leave reviews.