Fancy meeting your Belly here
by Gilmoregirl1979

With a BIG CO writer credit to Localizy

A/N: I figured "hey if someone can write a fic about jess and lindsey getting married (YES, you read that right! jess and Lindsey! MARRIED… raising her and DEAN's KIDS! … I know! That is what I said…) any way I figured, I could have NASTY McBitch and CRAZY Stalker man get together… if only briefly…cause really, would you WANT them to procreate? THAT is the kid that would be building a death ray (just plain crazy!), I'm telling you!

Ah yes, the Shout outs(I remember you all well!)

Localizy: thank you for ALL your major help with this chapter, HOLY CRAP I was stuck on this one.

LuvzAFunEthing….it really is…! Hey chica bella, this chapter was so much fun to write…OMG.

otownroxx :..… ummm okay REALLY needed to get back to you! … you asked about the Scary Hairy Nipple Man explanation. So here we go … (ENJOY!) It is widely known that Max…is not the best looking man (SHUT UP! IN MY WORLD IT'S A FACT! And LUKE IS WORSHIPFUL! SO THERE!) Anyway.. that one scene in the BREAK UP PART 2 (see season one DVD) and Lorelai is (repressing the vomit, ME, not Lorelai…although you wonder with all that talk about soup…) ANY WAY she is … in bed … with MAX(GROSS!) … THAT my friend, … is KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE as the SCARY HAIRY NIPPLE SCENE, because SCARY HAIRY NIPPLE MAN (Max, … Duh!) is showing of his SCARY HAIRY NIPPLES….(Guinness book of world records website that is the most references to the Scary Hairy Nipples in one sitting! Congratulations!)

Can you believe she almost married … THAT! eeeeewwwwwwwwww! THANK THE PTB the WB for small FAVORS! (HELL BIG ASS FAVORS! )

so now otownroxx, you know and knowing is half the battle(AGAIN WITH THE G.I. JOE! … I'm a tom boy that way!)

wes craven (WOW I'm popular) you said " Jason pelting Nasty with mustard is actually a nice image. heeheehee!" and my reply… "THAT WOULD BE FESTIVE WOULDN'T IT!"

A/N: this one was kinda delicate to handle, so I took my time with it (as you may have noticed, dig on my own procrastinating) Also, I needed to see how they would play the Chris CARD (BASTARD! Sorry force of habit when he is mentioned.) any how, enjoy!

and now we twist the knife on, … or rather, IN Christopher…

Please insert EVIL LAUGHTER

Chapter 5 it's finally here! YEY!

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Chapter 5:
I
s That A Knife In Your Gut Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

The house looked the same on the outside, but Chris knew everything was different inside. It wasn't just because the house had been renovated, but because of the difference in the atmosphere of the house. He had mixed feelings standing there, he wanted to see his daughter and part of him wanted to see Lorelai, but that meant having to see HIM, too. Chris had agreed to pick Rory up here, but truthfully would have rather picked her up at a gas station, thought it was easier than trying to maneuver a Volvo in a college town. It might be time for a trade in, noting the New SUV in the driveway, an SUV with two baby seats in the back.

Chris knocked on the front door and Luke answered the door, holding a baby in his arms, its head peaceful and content on its Daddy's shoulder. Chris couldn't tell which one it was and honestly he didn't much care.

"Hey," Chris choked out with a forced smile, "Luke."

"Hey Chris, Rory's not quite ready yet. You know … girls."

It pissed Chris off how casual Luke seemed to be now whenever he was around. How relaxed and assured of his position in Lorelai's life. Yeah like he doesn't dread meeting like this. "Yeah, I know, I've got two of my own," Chris forced a laugh.

"Yeah and now I've got three," Luke seemed to say to the baby, whose head was drooping on his shoulder. Ah that's Mia… why did they pick Mia as a name? Chris figured Luke was counting not only Lorelai but Rory too.

Chris was already uncomfortable enough, but now Luke was claiming Rory as his own and that just rubbed him the wrong way. Chris decided to clarify, "Well, I guess technically, Rory is mine … you know."

This comment didn't faze Luke and resulted in perplexed raised eyebrows, "Okay? Anyway, you want to come in and wait, I think someone is ready for their nap." Luke turned into the hall and Chris closed the door behind him.

Luke walked to Rory's room and called out, "Rory, Chris is here." Then, Luke went up the stairs to put Mia down with her brother.

Dad, her dad is here, Chris grumbled to himself.

"Just a minute!" Rory called from her room.

Chris made his way into the living room and eyed all of the pictures on the mantle. Lorelai in the hospital, looking radiant after having just given birth to the twins. She was holding the twins with Luke and Rory beside her in scrubs. Another picture showed Rory and Luke with the twins at some park, maybe in Hartford. There were pictures of Luke and the twins at the diner, the kids with very messy faces from their dad's homemade baby food what because the canned stuff isn't good enough?. There was a candid shot of Luke trying to play golf with Richard, where Richard was smiling and Luke was wincing. Then there was a strange one photo, placed in a delicate silver frame with the word love engraved on in. It was a distance shot of Luke and Lorelai standing in the woods somewhere, with sunlight streaming down through the trees. Lorelai appeared to still be pregnant. Huh? Is that professionally done? There was another candid of Lorelai and Luke, sitting on a park bench, just talking to each other. Lorelai was holding a coffee, naturally, and there was firelight illuminating their expressions, with a bonfire behind them. Tucked inside the frame with the picture was a horoscope for a Scorpio, with Lorelai's handwriting on top of the prediction. You will meet an annoying woman today, give her coffee and she'll go away. What the hell does that mean?

The picture that really annoyed Chris was one with Luke, Lorelai, and Rory at Rory's Chilton graduation, like they both were her parents. I will never hear the end of that. Chris couldn't even remember the reason why he missed it. He did recall the shock of hearing Rory was going to Yale instead of Harvard and he only made that discovery well into her second semester. That is why he was here. He wanted to rebuild the bridge, to be involved and informed again, but the Boston rat race made it difficult for him to keep up with family, let alone with his estranged family in Connecticut. Granted his family consisted of only Gigi, whose grandmother had reluctantly agreed to watch while he picked up Rory for a visit. Correction, my mother will get a nanny to watch her.

Finally, there was a large framed portrait above the mantle, seemingly in a place of honor, was of Luke and Lorelai's wedding day. The happiness of the couple seemed to beam off the photo paper. Lorelai was gorgeous in her dress and he never seen Luke in such formal entire before or with such a smiling, happy expression.

Looking at the picture caused a bitter taste to fill his mouth as he recalled that day and how he tried in vain to attend the nuptials.

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Chris felt obligated to be there. He really wasn't sure if he'd speak up when they asked that fateful question "If any one here… has any reason…" but he almost felt as though he couldn't be trusted. Apparently one of the ushers picked up on that feeling.

A gawky, awkward looking guy stopped him from entering the seating area at the Dragonfly Inn. "Excuse me, where do you think you are going?" the monotone voice asked.

"Well, I'm going to the wedding?"

"I'm sorry, may I see your invitation?"

"What?" Chris asked.

"Sir, I'm going to have to see your invitation in order to let you enter."

"I…I didn't bring it with me."

"That is unfortunate, I'm afraid you can't go in."

"You are kidding me, right?"

"I'm afraid not, we have very strict, very limited seating."

"What your name pal?"

The man seemed to consider the question and the person asking before finally answering, "Kirk."

"Listen Kirk, the maid of honor is my daughter. I'm the infamous Christopher. Rory's Dad. I think we've met before…"

"Oh, you are the dead beat who left Rory when she was a baby."

Chris couldn't help but cock his head to one side, "That is one way to look at it, I guess. So how about you let me in."

"I'm sorry, but I have strict orders from the bride's mother."

"Well, see there you go, I'm also friends with Emily."

"How did you now her name was Emily?"

"I told you I'm a friend of the family."

"I thought you said you were Rory's father?" Kirk said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"I'm both, now will you just let me in!"

"I'm sorry I can't. Frankly Mrs. Gilmore scares me and I gave her my word nothing would go wrong."

"Right, but I won't cause any trouble," Chris said, attempting to wheedle his way into the ceremony.

Jackson came up behind Kirk and tapped him on the shoulder, "Hey Best Man #2, it's time. You need to go get Luke."

"Thanks Jackson." Kirk turned to go but stopped and emphatically whispered to Jackson, "Watch this guy, I think he wants to cause trouble."

Chris rolled his eyes, but hoping he'd have better luck with Jackson

Jackson recognized him. "Hey Chris, was it? How are you doing?"

"Great Jackson, could you let me in now?"

"Sure, I'd be happy to. I just need to see your invitation." Jackson smiled, completely clueless to the previous conversation.

Failing his attempts to enter the wedding and running away before Emily saw him, Chris watched the ceremony from a safe distance on the Dragonfly's porch. He watched as Jess, Luke's nephew, the one who fractured Rory's wrist in a car accident, Best man #1, escorted Emily to her seat of honor. Chris saw Richard walked Lorelai down the aisle. He saw, with a pain in his gut, how Lorelai positively glowed at being joined to a man she truly loved, in front of all her friends and neighbors who had been rooting for the pair through good times and bad.

He knew he caused many of those bad times, but once upon a time he had been certain that Lorelai and he belonged together.

Chris broke away from the crowds and left after seeing Lorelai drag Luke off to the inn without being caught by her many guests and her mother.

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Chris was snapped out of his contemplation when Lorelai came in from the kitchen carrying a large mug with a spoon sticking out of it. Some things never change, Chris thought to himself, and she definitely got her figure back.

"Hey Chris!" Lorelai said as she curled up in the easy chair with a magazine and her mug, unconsciously unwilling to share the couch with him. There was something in Lorelai's manner and aura too. It showed Chris that he had no power over her anymore.

"Hey, how you doing, twins treating you okay?"

Lorelai beamed, "Yeah, I love my little angels. It was a bit rough the first few months of breast-feeding two of them. But other than that…" she seemed to smile at something … private.

Chris laughed uncomfortably; he remembered the first time after Gigi was born and the taste of Sherry's breast milk. He shrugged off the thought that Lorelai and Luke would do the same thing, not wanting his mind to go to those dark places.

Lorelai seemed involved with her article as she slurped up some fruit from her mug.

Chris was genuinely confused, as he had assumed the mug was filled with Coffee, "Lorelai?"

"Yeah?" coming out of her fashion induced trance.

"What are you eating?"

"Fruit cocktail, it's the strongest cocktail a girl can have while breast feeding. Oh, did you want some?" she asked trying to be a good hostess. Emily would be proud.

"Why are you eating fruit?" Chris brow furrowed, she has never eaten fruit before, she hates fruit, I know that much about her.

"I like fruit."

"You hate fruit."

"I do not," she scoffed.

"Lorelai, the only way you'd eat fruit is if it was in a jelly donut."

"Oh, come on."

"With chocolate fondue you only ate the marshmallows."

"That is not true."

"What's not true?" Luke asked as he came down the stairs from putting Mia down with her brother, Will, in the new nursery.

Lorelai reached for her hubby, "Hey Hon," she said as Luke leaned down to kiss her, "both asleep?"

"Soundly, what's not true?"

"Do I hate fruit?" Lorelai asked, sure if anyone would know it would be her husband.

"Not anymore," Luke shrugged.

"What do you mean anymore? When did I ever hate fruit?"

"Oh come on, for the first years I knew you, the only fruit you'd eat had to have preservatives and corn syrup mixed with it. Or if I hid it in your pancakes."

"And now?"

"Now," Luke considered, "you are a … fruit junkie," as if he realized this for the first time. "We can't keep it in this house; you alone keep Jackson in business."

"Huh?" and she wondered. "How did that change?" considering her mug,

"The pregnancy," Luke concluded.

"What?"

"You're cravings. You'd wake me up in the middle of the night for peaches, watermelon, and pineapple. All in the middle of winter mind you!"

"Figures any children of yours would make me eat healthy even before they are out of the womb. How do you remember that?"

"Let's just say, you don't usually wake me up in the middle of the night for food." Luke grinned suggestively and kissed her again. Lorelai giggled and smiled at his meaning.

Chris lowered his eyes unable to watch the obvious display of love and also unable to remember the last time he had sex. Being a single Dad really didn't do it for the ladies of Boston.

"Okay, ready," Rory entered the living room with her messenger bag ready to go. She didn't realize how she was rescuing her father from the knots in his stomach forming at the affection Luke and Lorelai were showing right in front of him.

"Ready great," Chris stood up quickly, having been eager to leave before he had entered the house.

"Bring my girl back in one piece and untattooed" Lorelai teased.

"Does that mean I can talk him into a tattoo?" Rory pointed to Chris.

"How do you know I don't already have one?" Chris tried to joke they way they used to, but it still didn't feel the same.

"Well, we know Luke has one…" Lorelai smiled at her husband as she had prancing fingers tickling up Luke's arm.

"Will you let it go," Luke shook his head. "We've been married for how long?"

"Okay, I think we should leave before the next set of twins is conceived." Rory leaned down and kissed her mother good-bye, "Bye Mommy." Rory turned to Luke, her step father, and gave him a kiss on the cheek too, "Bye Daddy."

Chris couldn't stop his reaction. His eyes bugged wide and he seemed to let out a painful cough of disbelief, sounding as if he had been punched.

Lorelai was the first to look at Chris and noticed the offended expression. Rory soon realized the gaff and apologized, "Sorry, umm force of habit."

Chris' expression seemed to ask: how is that habit?

Rory nervously explained, "We're trying to get the twins to say their first words…and well, I'm calling Mom 'Mommy' and Luke 'Daddy' hoping they will mimic…me." Rory hoped that didn't put a damper on her day with her father.

"Yeah Chris… even I'm calling Luke Daddy… and he calls me Mommy… we're just… trying to …"

"It's okay, it's fine… really, umm let's go…" Chris turned toward the door.

Yet, it had stung Chris deeply, his daughter calling another man daddy, dad, pop, or anything.

On their car ride, Rory could tell that Chris was still fuming over her slip of the tongue, even so, she tried to make conversation the whole way to her paternal grandmother's house in Hartford.

Chris focused on the road while Rory went on and on about her final year at school, looking forward to joining the work force, telling old stories about her summers with the Stars Hollow Gazette, and how she hoped she'd be up to par at a real paper. She told a few jokes about Paris and the colorful characters she had already been in contact with while working for the Yale Daily News, but Chris concentrated on the road, still stewing about Rory calling Luke daddy. Chris was her father, without him, Rory would not exist. He was half of her chromosomes, he was part of the equation of her creation, in a way, she owed her existence to him… and well Lorelai. It was his inalienable right to hold the title of father and Rory shouldn't use it so willy nilly towards Luke, even if it was to help her HALF siblings. Luke was her stepfather, nothing more; well perhaps he is a pain in my ass.

Chris shook his issues away, the whole point of this exercise was to reconnect with Rory so he tried small talk, "The twins sure seem like a handful." Chris had enough trouble with Gigi, he couldn't imagine having to deal with two at once.

"Yeah," Rory agreed, "but they are special and totally worth it."

"Do you feel really close to them, I mean the age gap is huge."

"Well, just a few years off from Gigi I suppose, but well, I see them every week when I come home. It helps that I was in the room when they were born."

"Really? I thought you wanted no part of it after the way you were wigging with Sherry and I thought I heard a story about Sookie's birth too…"

"Yeah well, they are my brother and sister, mom wanted me to be there, and Luke made sure I was there."

"Luke?" Him again, Chris thought, stewing that Luke was so ingrained in every part of his daughter's life.

"Well, by the time I arrived she was already in the delivery room, but Luke paid a nurse to come out, find me, and bring me in."

"The picture with the scrubs..." Chris figured.

"Yeah, that was like 5 minutes after mom gave birth, talk about a tough woman, she wanted to pay the nurse to take the picture, but he figured Luke already paid for his services," Rory said, giggling at the memory.

"Huh," mumbled Chris, already tired of hearing about Luke and how happy everyone was because of him.

"They are a really great team, Mom and Luke," Rory continued. "I mean he is so attentive to the kids, if Mom has to work at night for a function or something, he will take care of both kids by himself. I mean, for all the rants I heard about babies and jam hands who knew Luke would be so good at taking care of two babies at once. Now that they are walking and almost talking, he just wants to be around all the time now, he doesn't want to miss a moment. Ben, Lane, and Caesar are so understanding and took over the bulk of the shifts at the diner, especially opening and closing, knowing that these are his first kids. He wants to be there for everything and they want him to be around to see everything, too. He's lucky to have such great friends like that."

"Uh huh," was all Chris could say as he took the Hartford exit.

They arrived at the Hayden manor where Chris and Lorelai had spent the good times of their youth; at least in his mind they were good times. The good old days of sneaking booze, making out, and lying to parents. Life was so simple then before Rory's creation complicated everything for both families.

Rory wanted to use this opportunity to not only reconnect with her father and bond with Gigi, but also to try establishing a relationship with Francine, her other grandmother.

Rory was ushered in by a maid, much like she would be at Emily's house. Rory had never been to the Hayden house before and was eager to look around and possibly learn something of her father's past, perhaps understand why he turned out the way he did. She had known from hearsay and her one brief audience with Strobe that her paternal grandfather was a hard man, who may have even been harder to live with.

Francine was on the couch, with a wet washcloth on her head while a young Gigi was giving a concert with an synthesizer piano.

"Grandma, are you listening!" Gigi shouted over what she thought was music.

"Yes, precious. Grandma can still hear even though her eyes are closed," she said. Feeling the need to give her some bit of attention Francine lifted her head and removed the washcloth. "Oh Thank God!" she exclaimed when she saw Christopher.

"Daddy!" Gigi shouted. "Listen I wrote a song for you," and she began banging on the keys again.

Chris smiled at his young daughter, "Thank you, Gigi." Thank you for knowing my proper title and you are only 4, he added silently, still wounded from his first daughter's address towards Luke.

Gigi stopped banging on the keys when she finally caught sight of Rory. She froze and clamed up.

"Gigi, you remember your big sister Rory."

Gigi wore a frown and then ran to her dad's side burying her face in his hip.

"She's just not used to you," Chris eased.

"Right," Rory laughed lightly, usually being pretty good with children.

"Daddy! Tea Party!" Gigi said quickly, pulling her daddy away from Rory.

"Sure, can we invite Rory to it, too?"

"No! Table's full!"

"Gigi,' Chris admonished. "That's not very nice. You knew I was bringing Rory, she wants to spend time with you too."

"It's all right, I'll just hang back for now." Rory sat on the couch with her estranged Grandmother wondering if Francine was more open to bonding that Gigi was.

"Hello Rory," Francine straightened up since she had to play hostess. Both ladies on the couch didn't know how to enter into a conversation since they had only been in room together one other time.

"So Rory," Francine strained optimistically, "I understand you want to be a journalist."

"Yeah that's the plan, just finishing up at Yale."

"How lovely, it's nice for the modern girls to be so …career oriented."

"Yeah."

"And your mother, I think I read something about her owning her own motel?"

"It's an Inn actually," Rory delicately defended her mother. It was obvious from Francine's tone she still held Lorelai responsible for seducing Christopher, getting pregnant and ruining their standing as a family.

"Of course and didn't I hear something about her finally settling down?"

Rory glanced at Chris, who was busy pretending to sip his tea, smiling sympathetically at his first-born, while his second born scowled at her. "Yeah, to Luke, he's a great man."

"How nice. Well, do you have any other hobbies besides reading and school?"

"Well, Mom just had twins last year, so I'm busy helping out. oh yeah, and I love cooking now, once he discovered I was living off of radiator quesadillas, my dad taught me how to cook something a little more refined."

"Really? Christopher is utterly useless in the kitchen. That's why he has that nanny maid combo… what's her name…Susanna."

"Yeah Rory, I never taught you to cook," Chris said, knowing where this was going to lead and his anger over the situation was about to boil over.

"Oh sorry, I mean Luke taught me."

"Oh yes, your stepfather," Francine clarified.

"I really don't see him that way, if it's all the same to you."

Chris shot up from the table, "Oh really? Well it's not the same!"

"Excuse me?" Rory was taken aback.

"Look for your half siblings I let it slide, but you shouldn't be thinking about Luke that way. I'm your father."

"NO you're my father!" Gigi piped in.

"Calm down sweetie, I'm just making a point to Rory."

Rory stood up, "Oh really! Who went to my caterpillar's funeral? Who made me chicken soup and mashed potatoes when I was sick? Went to my graduation from high school? Who helped me move into Yale and dragged around a microbe mattress? Who wanted to beat up my boyfriend when we broke up…" ranted Rory, in the fashion she learned from Luke over the years.

"Rory…" Chris tried to calm his daughter down...both of them.

"No, Luke was there for all those things and you were never around. You weren't even there when I was Gigi's age. You missed my first steps, my first words, my first everything and you didn't care… you were just a voice on the phone to me…making promises that you didn't keep."

"Rory, the situation back then was complicated…"

"What was so complicated? Mom didn't want to get married that didn't mean she didn't want your help. You were, notice I said were, my father, you should have wanted to spend time with me regardless of what happened between my mother and you."

"She never asked for help, so why should I have been there."

"You were my father, she didn't think she had to ask!"

"He's my DADDY!" Gigi shouted again.

"You know what, it's too late for this. I am done trying to be a part of your life," Rory said, as she ducked the flying teacups from Gigi and headed towards the door.

Chris grew angrier because he had heard all these arguments from Luke himself, and Chris knew Rory had been brainwashed into believing all of it. "Rory, stop right there. I am your father, I know you listened to your mother and Luke when they trashed me, but I deserve something from you."

Rory paused at the door and turned towards Chris as Gigi ran around his legs and tugged on his pants, while Francine was heading towards the bar completely irritated and done with the progeny of Lorelai Gilmore. "I gave you everything I could. All you did was take from both me and Mom. I'm done, we're done. I don't need anything from you. I have a father, someone who is around, someone who isn't afraid of their responsibility, someone who gives me love and attention. Don't call me Christopher, don't try and spend time with me. I am not your daughter; it's over." She finished her speech with her head held high and walked out the door, while Chris just stood stunned while watching his first born daughter walk out the door and his life.

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Rory, with her years of navigating Hartford public transit coming in handy when she stormed out of the Hayden house without a ride, took the bus to Stars Hollow and used the time to calm down since she was spent from her fight with Christopher..

She arrived back in Stars Hollow and walked home. Rory quietly entered the house and heard a strange voice from the living room.

"She is precious too me, my precious, my precious," Lorelai said in a Gollum voice, while she held Mia on the couch. Lorelai was curled on in the couch, with little Mia using mommy's legs as a recliner, cooing and giggling at her Mommy's funny voice. Luke watched as he fed Will with bottled breast milk, unable to help his chuckle, "You're gonna scare her."

"She likes it, look at that smile, isn't that right princess, my precious princess."

Luke seemed to notice Rory out of the corner of his eye, "Hey you're home."

"Yeah, home sweet home."

"How'd it go?" Lorelai asked over her shoulder.

"Well it went badly…Gigi threw her tea set at me," Rory said, grinning slightly.

"Oh Hon," Lorelai cooed, sad for her that Chris couldn't man up and spend time with his other daughter.

"I don't know, I mean twenty years after the fact. He was more interested that I called Luke Daddy then he was in spending time with me. Anyway, he said some stuff, it made me mad, and I told him not to call me or talk to me anymore. Then he blamed you guys for 'brainwashing' me about how evil he was. So I left and took the bus home. It was just too late to build bridges."

"Sorry Rory," apologized Luke as Lorelai and Mia hugged Rory.

"It's okay, I have a great dad already," Rory said as she kissed Luke's cheek.

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LUKE's review: "That was all God-given talent."

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What do you think? Were they True to character...?

R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."

Please be specfic with R/R; name one(or as many as you can thing of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you like please! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)

Hence the Rant option bellow.

Insert Rant here V