Chapter 8
Broken dream
Haruka had quickly jumped into her trousers and shirt and had put on her motor bike jacket. She knew were Michiru would be. When she arrived at the beach, she saw her, but didn't move. She waited a few minutes because she knew how important it was for the aqua-haired girl to be like this, lost in the sea. She watched her a moment, then joined her, hoping her anger would be less strong.
Michiru was feeling Haruka's presence for a long time. She wasn't surprised when she felt two strong arms grabbing her by behind. Haruka was holiding her in a strong embrace with all the love and warmth she could give. She had a bad feeling about all this… she was feeling as if Michiru was away, far away, in her own world, a place where Haruka couldn't follow her, cause birds cannot swim.
"Don't leave me here, Michiru…"
"Ruka…"
"I love you, please excuse me… I'm stupid, I should have known…"
"It's not the first time Miharu plays this kind of trick. But I thought you would be able to make the difference."
"I did. I knew there was something… different. But I had just got up, and she looks so much like you…"
"If I hadn't come back you would be in bed with her right now."
"I thought it was you… you know I would never…"
"I know, but you did it… unwillingly, but you did it. I was so sure… I thought that if there was one person that could make the difference between us, It was you, I thought you could see my soul."
"I think I do. I know you're hurt… and I know you'll have a lot of problems because she knows I'm a woman…"
"The reaction you saw is exactly the one my parents will have when they'll know. They'll see you as a freak… I think they'll see both of us as freaks."
"I'll protect you from their hatred… You're the only one that counts, you're my soul mate."
"Bring me back home."
There was a kind of coldness Haruka didn't noticed in her voice, or maybe she didn't want to see it. She kissed Michiru's neck and took he by the hand, leading her to the motorbike.
When they arrived home, Michiru entered their bedroom and began to pack some of her clothes. Haruka stared at her in surprise.
"Mi… Michiru… What are you doing? Why… Michiru, no… don't tell me you're leaving…"
"It's for a few days. I'm going to Lily's place. I need time to think of us."
Haruka knew it wasn't good. When women told this, it always meant it was the beginning of the end.
"But…"
"No Haruka, don't try anything! Don't call me and don't try to see me. I said I needed time. I… I promise I'll come back."
"Maybe I won't be there anymore."
"What do you mean? Is it a threat?"
Michiru began to worry, she didn't like the expression there was on Haruka's face. She knew that when she was hurt, the blonde could be very bad-tempered, stubborn and make stupid things.
"Take it as you wish. Maybe I won't wait for you to come back. I'm not your pet."
Haruka knew she was not improving the situation… she was not angry, but she was too sad, she didn't want Michiru to see it. She didn't look at her in the eyes. She didn't know if there was anger or sadness in them, she preferred not to know.
"Haruka… I… I never said such a thing…"
"You said you wanted to leave me… what are you waiting for? The Flood?"
Michiru was about to tell her kind and loving words to comfort her, maybe give up her idea of taking a break but Haruka had gone too far. She looked at her with anger and left without a word, slamming the door behind her. Outside, she began to cry. Haruka fell on the sofa and hid her face in her hands. She was ashamed. First she had kissed another woman, then she had talked to Michiru with mean words. Never she had thought she would speak to her like that. She regretted it… but it was too late. And there was a part of truth… she didn't want to be Michiru's pet, she would not come back. It wasn't her fault if Michiru's sister had come home a morning when she was half asleep and kissed her. Michiru should know she wasn't responsible for that. With a few minutes more, she would have probably understood it wasn't Michiru… but why didn't she tell her she had a twin? Maybe it would have make the difference.
Lily welcomed Michiru without any question. She took the bedroom left by Lily's roommate at the beginning of the summer break. She rested all the day and Lily saw her only the next morning. She knew her friend had problems. It was obvious, a person living with her beloved girlfriend doesn't come at her best friend's place only for a holiday. Michiru's eyes were red and her face had a bad look.
"So… will you tell me what happened between the two of you?"
"She… she kissed my sister."
"You have a sister?"
"Yes… a twin sister."
"A twin? She just made an error. But why did you never tell me you had a sister?"
"Haruka didn't know either, no one knows in town. I never talk about her because she's like a witch, when you speak her name she comes. Not talking of her helps me forget she exists."
"You don't seem to appreciate her very much…"
"We always have been like this. Our parents separated us when we were fourteen because we were out of control when we were in the same school. She stole my boyfriends from me… well I wasn't gay at the time… and said awful things in my name. I think she was jealous. I always had good grades at school, I'm a famous violinist and my paintings are exposed in exhibitions. She always tried to do the same but never succeeded, but she's good as sports. Maybe as good as Haruka. I was jealous about that."
"So you two never got along very well…"
"No, and out parents never helped, they cared much about me. But I must admit I'm not innocent… I hated the way we looked like each other, so one I night I cut her hair when she was asleep, and I also burned all her dresses, because we were always dressed the same way, I did many other things to her. I'm not proud of that. But she took her revenge long ago and I'm still paying the bill for the childhood I made her live."
"You know it's not Haruka's fault…"
"Yes, but I was shocked. I love her so much… I wanted to go away a few days, maybe less. I think I would have came back before the evening… but she began to be mean… she said I treated her like a pet, she also encouraged me to leave… she was so cold… I begin to doubt whether she really loves me…"
"Haruka always know how to hurt people, and it is worse when she loves them. When she's hurt she says awful things."
"I know… she also said that… that she may not be home when I'll come back…"
"Maybe you should come back before it's too late. I know her, and I can tell you that when she says this kid of thing… well… it's not pleasant to see…"
"What do you think she had in mind?"
"She'll make you suffer as she suffers."
"You're right… I should come back…"
Haruka had not slept that night. When she saw it was past 8.30 a.m she decided to move to have breakfast… she took the ingredients and tried to make pancakes but being the worse cooker on earth, she burned them. So she ate cereals from an old box, choosing to ignore it had past its sell-by date for long, not even caring to take a bowl. Realizing it was not very tasty, she decided to have breakfast in town. So at nine, she was out.
She suddenly caught sight of Michiru, she was right in front of her… no it wasn't Michiru, it was Miharu. How could have she make the mistake… they were so different, not physically, but there was something different, and it can be first noticed in her glance. Besided, she hadn't Michiru's expressions. She hadn't this happiness, this calm face of Michiru. Her eyes didn't send her love, they sent nothing to her except disgust.
"Haruka… I can see you're not with my beloved twin."
"Miharu… I hoped I would never see you again. I was a little too optimistic."
"So it seems that she dumped you… maybe not, she has always been very forgiving. Even when her boyfriend slept with me instead of her."
"She didn't."
"So why are you alone?"
"It's none of your business, but she took a few days off to see a friend."
"Not a good sign… I guess you want her back. Everyone always want my sister back when she leaves. She must be pretty hot in bed…"
"It's none of your business."
"I know a way of making her come back."
"Come back? You hate each other, why would you want to do something for her?"
"Isn't that obvious? If she leaves you, I'll have nothing to tell our parents… I don't really want help her."
"What do you have in mind? Though I think I won't appreciate it. I'll never do anything against Michiru, even if it makes her come back."
"I thought we could use jealousy. Date someone."
"No way."
"Well… just make her think you're dating a sexy girl."
"It's not fair. I don't want to play with her."
"But think of it… when Michiru will see you with another woman, she will be jealous and she will argue with you and everything, but also realize she loves you, and you'll take a sorry expression and all…"
"No…"
"I could be the girl. Only if you keep your distances…"
"I said no. Yesterday you said I was a freak, you don't think I will date you, even if it is fake. And listen to these words and never forget them: I'll never do anything against Michiru. I love her."
Michiru was on her way to their apartment, she was nervous, she didn't know what to say to arrange everything with Haruka. But she wanted it so much. If only Miharu hadn't come to break the dream she was living in… But suddenly she stopped… she saw Haruka, she was with Miharu, absorbed in what seemed an interesting conversation… How could she stop in the street to talk to a person that thought she was a freak and had made them argue. She was talking normally to a person who had tried to separate them… maybe they even had lunch together, they were in front of a restaurant after all.
Haruka felt a presence, she felt watched. She looked around her and she saw her. Michiru was in the other side of the street, staring at them in horror.
"Michiru!"
Michiru ran away when she heard her name. But Haruka was faster, she caught her a few minutes later.
"Don't run away from me… I can explain everything…"
Haruka was having a hard time trying to keep Michiru from running away. But Michiru seemed to have the devil in her, she was impossible to hold.
"Let me go! I don't want to see you again!"
Michiru finally freed herself and slapped Haruka on the face, again. It was second time in two days. Haruka didn't ran after her this time. It wasn't the slap that had hurt her, it was Michiru's words.
