Chapter 17

New path

So Sosuke drove her to Setsuna and Hotaru's house. They welcomed her warmly. This was a very ancient house, it must have been about two hundred years-old… But it seemed that it hadn't been lived in for long, there were white sheets on some of the furniture, as if they had just moved in. Michiru hadn't came here before, she just knew where it was because Hotaru had told it to her.

« You doesn't live in there for long, don't you? »

« No, we moved in a week ago… Before we mostly travelled… But since you too reappeared as senshi we needed to stay. This house hadn't been lived in for thirty years. Does it ring a bell? »

« We… we used to live here… You, Hotaru, me… And Haruka… »

« Good memory, when you died, the house wasn't sold, I kept it, because I knew everyone would reborn soon. Come, I'll show you your room, I guess you'll keep the same one… »

« I'm not sure… I shared it with her, didn't I? »

« Of course, you did. »

« Then I'm not sure it's a good idea. »

« I understand, but give it a look at least. »

« OK »

Michiru followed Setsuna upstairs, the house had three stairs, their room was on the second one. A bit isolated from Hotaru's and Setsuna's. Michiru knew exactly where it was. When she opened the door she felt old memories of happy days invade her. The bed was still at the same place, well made. On one of the two bedside tables, there was a photo of them together, on the other, there was another with Setsuna and Hotaru… They had been forming a nice family. Michiru opened the dressing, on the right, there were Haruka's clothes of thirty years ago… and her racing suits, along with her motorbike's preferred helmet. Michiru's dresses were still there too. She smiled, fashion hadn't change that much, she would be able to wear some of her old clothes if she wanted to…. Well it had changed, but the actual fashion took from the one of thirty years ago. She was feeling so good…

« I… I think I'll sleep here… it makes me feel better. »

« As you wish. This room is yours, you'll find everything where you left it. I just cleaned the place, the clothes hasn't been washed though, so I'll lend you a pyjama… And of course you won't find your old make up… »

Michiru laughed.

« I understand why… thanks. »

Suddenly, she caught sight of the violin near the window… her old violin, she opened the case and touched it… It was a Stradivarius, so much feelings and memories came back to her mind, it was confusing...

« I think I'll call it a day. » Said Michiru.

Michiru didn't sleep very well that night… She was haunted… Memories of the past mixed with her present life, the detail that had shocked her the most was the photos of Haruka and her… So different but still the same… They had the same appearances, but it was not the same life… Her previous life had stopped approximately at the same point it was by now… She was feeling that her current life and future had two different past, like a story with two beginnings… Haruka and her has two pasts together… But the question was, did they have a future? The violin had made her realize this too… She remembered how she liked it, like a part of herself… But now another violin had this place…Everything was so confused…

Next morning, she was awaken by Hotaru. Her nine year-old daughter (at least she looked this age), was the only one that didn't made her feel sad or confused, their relation, past or present was the same, Hotaru was part of only one of her lives, and of her present too. It was easier. With her, it was like awakening as if nothing had happened between thirty years ago and the present moment.

« Good morning Michiru-mama… Did you sleep well? »

« Hotaru dear… Yes… A good night. » lied Michiru.

« Tell me… can you drive me to school? Setsuna-mama said I shouldn't ask you this… But I'd like you to do it… Just today… »

« I... Ipassed my driving lessons but the problem is that I don't have a car, it's Haruka who always drive for me… but wait a minute… »

« And the blue one? »

« You're right… Is it still there? »

Michiru had a blue car thirty years ago, a gift from Haruka a little before their sudden death… Which was the only thing Michiru couldn't remember at all.

« Yes, it's in the garage, with Haruka-papa's yellow one, her motorbike is still in there too. Do you think she will want to drive them when she'll come? »

« Haruka doesn't remember anything, she doesn't know they are hers. And I think she's busy enough at the tracks with her own car. »

« It's strange that she doesn't remember… while you remember. »

« Yes… So did you have breakfast? »

« Not yet. »

« I'll make you pancakes. »

« Yeah! »

Michiru got up and headed for the kitchen with a glad Hotaru. An hour later, they had had breakfast and they were ready to live. Michiru smiled when she saw the turquoise car… She hadn't a car in this life… There finally were advantages to this situation… She thought a lot on the way to school, and after when she drove to the apartment in order to take some of her things… Wasn't it the occasion to take a new path? Since that awful fight with Haruka had occurred, since she had broke their engagement… Michiru had realized that her life was not as she wanted… She was fed up with many things… University didn't really interest her… what she wanted was being a full time artist. Her studies were funny while Haruka was with her… but now she was alone, what she wanted was to dedicate fully to arts, violin mostly, but drawing and painting too… Her decision was taken, she would stop university since this day.

Haruka awoke in her bed. She wasn't feeling good at all… She had driven back her 'girlfiend', as Michiru would have called her. Nothing had happened, she had just driven her back after Michiru's departure. She had only want to make her ex fiancée suffering. Even if Michiru had stayed, nothing would have happened, Haruka wasn't in the mood for making love to anyone (it was exceptional). But she hadn't expected Michiru to be with this… She didn't have a word strong enough to describe how she hated Sosuke now… She hadn't thought that Michiru would have replace her so quickly… And by a damn man! The same afternoon, she had looked so bad… And she must have slept with him! She wasn't home this morning. Suddenly, she heard the door opening. Michiru was there… Haruka stared at her for a second, then her glance came back on her coffee cup. She had to resist hard to the urge she had to contemplate her lovely face, the urge she had to kiss her… «Remember… She's cheating on you with a damn man! Well that's not really cheating, you dumped her… But still! »

« Haruka… Your 'girlfiend' isn't here? »

« No she left for work. And how's your man?»

« Fine, thank you… I didn't know bitches worked on mornings. I came to pick some of my belongings. Haruka… I'm moving elsewhere, and I stop my studies. »

Haruka coughed, she had drank her coffee in the wrong way.

« What?… Well you do what you want, you didn't need to tell me, you perfectly know that what you do doesn't interest me at all. »

« Yes but as we are roommates I think you had to know I'm moving. »

Michiru tried to look cool, but she was burning… Suddenly she felt she couldn't resist anymore. Haruka had stood up, heading for the bathroom. Michiru grabbed her waist by behind and tightened her embrace, her head leaned on Haruka's back, she was crying.

« Haruka… sorry… I love you so much… I didn't do anything with Sosuke, not even going to a movie... that was an act… I'm lost without you… Come back to me or I'll die. »

Haruka felt a huge pain in her heart, she wanted to return and kiss her, she wanted to hold her, to comfort her… But she mustn't.

« No Michiru… No… I said it before… I won't… I won't come back. »

« Haruka… It can't be… We're together for thousands of years… You love me, I know you love me as much as I love you, don't make us suffer like this… »

« I don't know what you mean, I… I don't love you… Don't be silly… Setsuna is telling us stories… »

« I remember it perfectly… Did you see it? The room we shared? The photos… I remember everything… We've always been together… »

« And even if it was true? It doesn't mean we have to be together again, it's not because I spent all my previous lives with you that I must do it this time… I don't want to be with you… You only hurt me. »

« Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me. »

Haruka returned to look at Michiru… She realized that they were still embraced… Not because of Michiru only,she knew that her own hands were tightened around the turquoise-haired girl waist. She looked at her.

« I won't fall in your trap! » said Haruka.

Michiru silenced her by a passionate kiss. It was too much… Haruka couldn't resist. For a second she forgot about all… The fights, the fact that she wanted Michiru to suffer… The only thing she could feel was her lover's skin, her lover's warmth, the need she had for her to be near, how much she loved her… and without really realising it, she found herself leaning Michiru on the bed, putting off the girl's clothes one after another.

When she awoke, she was still holding Michiru, who was asleep. It was the end of the afternoon, they had made love most part of the day… Haruka began to have regrets… It wasn't supposed to be this way… She truly loved Michiru, but she was proud, and she wouldn't accept to be treated like Michiru treated her… She knew that if they got together again, it wouldn't be long before Michiru found another imperfection, a little error of hers… Like forgetting to tell I love you in the morning, or stuff like that, she overreacted all the time, when they were together, Haruka had to be cautious with every single detail, it was exhausting... but she looked so innocent asleep like this, her lovely angelic face hada light smile. How could such a nice girl hurt someone?

When Michiru awoke, she found no one in bed, there was only a letter.

Michiru,

I'm sorry if I let you believe that everything was all right, it was a mistake, I shouldn't have let my desire take control. I'm sorry aboutthis but let me tell you our paths won't crossanymore.

I'm planning on stopping my studies too. In fact I realized that it was meaningless, the only reason I went to university was because you were in it. My only passion is racing, I think I'll dedicate to this now.

Loving you is too hard, it can be heaven, but hell too, and I noticed that hell take too much place lately. Besides, I don't love anymore for all the reasons I told you that day.

Please, don't take too much risk in the fights, it would be a shame if the best violinist in the world disappeared. But maybe it'll make you grow up a bit. I'm always searching for my own pen, then I'll be able to defend this planet too. I won't stand in your way though.

Good luck on your new path and beware because I won't protect you.

Haruka

Michiru began to cry. Haruka's pen was in her handbag. For a moment she thought of giving it back, but she didn't. Hers had reappeared mysteriously after the fight yesterday.

When Michiru's sobs calmed, she gathered her things and put them in the car. She hadn't very much things she wanted to bring with her. Then she left, Hotaru was probably waiting for her at school. If it hadn't been for her adoptive daughter she probably would have done something stupid like taking pills, jumping from the balcony or cut her veins... But the girl represented a source of hope and joy enough to keep her in life, before there was only Haruka.