AN: Here I am again. My last chapters got so much praise, I'm growing more confident about this story. Thought I decided to put some lighthearted moments in it too, just in case this should end up too much of a sob-story. And again, I'll be posting two chapters at the same time...
Disclaimer: I'm nowhere near closer to purchasing the JAG characters as my own...DPB won't budge.
CHAPTER FOUR
An hour later she was sitting in his rental car while he headed to the hotel he'd been staying in. She wondered why he hadn't decided on staying at the San Diego's guest officers quarters, but she didn't want to ask, afraid any sound would startle him enough to cause an accident.
Vaguely she remembered herself giving her notice to the big boss, who'd shrugged and given her a wad of cash; her last pay and tips. She'd given Derek a hug, the bouncer seemingly pleased to see her being whisked of the what would probably be a better life; a fresh start.
They'd stopped by the apartment she'd shared with the other girls. Mac felt a bit sorry she wouldn't have a chance to say goodbye to them (they were still working), but she was not that close to them anyway. She left them a note, thanking them for everything they'd done for her (including not asking questions she didn't want to answer) and some cash for her part of the rent for that month, so they had some time to find another roommate without getting into trouble with their landlord.
After that, she was quick to grab what little possessions she wanted to take, trusting the girls would divide whatever she left behind. Without remorse she locked the door for the last time, shoving the keys through the mail slot.
"Ready to go?"
It was the first thing he'd said since they'd left her dressing room at the club.
Mac had only nodded.
"Nothing there I need any more. Let's get out of here."
So now they sat in the car, a rental SUV. Somehow, that stained. She always though he hated SUV's, being very particular about what kind of car he drove. Now she wasn't sure about anything. Did he still have his biplane? Was his grandmother still alive? Did he still like to cook, play the guitar?
She knew he did his annual quals, for his gold wings were proudly pinned on his chest. What was it she'd always told him, about dress whites and gold wings? Very overrated? Oh, who had she been kidding?
The sudden ringing of his cell phone pulled both of them out of their personal reveries, as Harm pulled over to answer.
"The Admiral."
She had no idea why he informed her, but she shivered. Even if he was just on the other side of a phone connection, thoughts of her former CO jumped to the front of her mind. She'd liked AJ Chegwidden, knew his formal stance was just a disguise for a compassionate heart. Would he show her the same compassion? Or was he too disappointed in her to consider any contact?
Detached, she heard Harm's side of the conversation, bringing his CO up to speed about his investigation.
"No sir, I haven't found out why the bar fight started in the first place."
A mumbled response over the phone, then Harm spoke again.
"I know that, Sir, but something else caught my attention."
Another pause as he listened.
"Yes Sir, it's very important. I can't give you any details, but I can assure you it's very important indeed."
"Yes sir. Thank you sir. Goodnight."
He pushed the small rectangle shut and wanted to pull up the road again, when he glanced her way and found her nervously fidgeting.
"You okay, Mac?"
She didn't know how to answer, the truth so simple, yet so complicated.
"I let him down. I let them all down. How can I face them again?"
His answer startled her, for it's sincerity and simplicity.
"They love you. We all love you. That never stopped Sarah. Everyone's still there."
"What…"
"They'll be glad to see you. They might ask questions, but you know them Sarah, you know they'll help you settle back down."
A nervous, sickening feeling was washing over him as he sat there in the driver's seat of the car, trying to pour some strength into the wretched soul slumped next to him in the passenger's seat.
He'd whisked her away, not asking, just assuming. He'd found her and now he was taking her back home, where she belonged…but did she?
What if she was right? He knew their friends would welcome her back. Yes, there would be questions that warranted an answer, there would be the pain of feeling betrayed, it would all come to surface one way or the other and he couldn't protect her from it. But was she up to it? Could she indeed find the courage it would most definitely take to face them, answer them, make amends?
He'd never known her to be afraid, but than again, he'd never known her capable of disappearing from their lives for so long. Did he know her at all? He used to think he did, but this Sarah sitting next to him now…she might as well be a stranger. Back in the dressing room he still had hope when he saw the glimmer of Marine attitude kick in again, but maybe he was only fooling himself.
Damn! He always thought that finding her would be the only problem, now he knew better. There were all sorts of problems yet to come. And there was no way to ease her into that.
Then it hit him: she hadn't said she even wanted to.
The hotel was small, but comfortable. She'd slept on bunk-beds, on floors, in holes, chairs and grand queen-size hotel beds. One Marine skill still came in handy; Mac could sleep anywhere.
Anywhere but in his room. But she had no choice; the hotel was booked solid because of some kind of sports event taking place these days.
Shrugging, Harm accepted his key-card and gently led her into the room. There were two twin beds with a nightstand in between. His briefcase, laptop and several papers were casually spread out on a narrow desk in the corner. Another door led into the surprisingly spacious bathroom.
Suddenly feeling shy and awkward, Mac hugged herself trying not to shiver.
"Sarah…"
He drew her into a quick hug and to she felt herself relax against him. Somehow he still had that effect on her.
"Please, learn to trust me again. I would never do anything to hurt you."
She flinched, hearing his words, knowing it was the pain he'd inflicted that had sent her running.
"Well, not any more."
It made her chuckle. It least they still thought alike.
He let go of her, but not before dropping a quick kiss on her forehead.
"Why don't you go take a bath, relax a little. I'll go see if I can get us any food, if you're hungry."
"Harm…"
There it was. The flyboy grin. Still intact, the first one he'd given her since their eyes had first locked that evening. She found it still made her tingle.
"That's right, you're always hungry."
He gave her a wink before leaving her to her own devices.
He came back soon enough, carrying some cardboard containers with delicious smelling Chinese food in them. Wrapped up in the fluffy bathrobe she'd found in the bathroom, Mac felt lots better and dug into her food with a gusto. Harm just watched her with an amused smile on his face.
"What? I haven't changed that much."
She immediately regretted her remark, as clearly, she had changed. A lot.
"Well, not your appetite anyway."
Thank God for small favors. He'd obviously decided to take things the light way.
After dinner, Harm stashed away the empty containers and stretched himself out on the bed, which was just about long enough to fit his tall frame. With his head propped up in his hand, leaning on his elbow, he looked at her.
"We need to talk, Sarah…"
AN: Don't they always ;-)...read about it in the next chapter!
