AN: Don't you worry, I'll make sure they'll work it out. I'm their master, I can do that.

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to one special reader, TV Angel 711,who reads all my stories andgives the kindestreviews on every single chapter chapter of every single story I've written so far. Readers like you are the biggest inspiration a person can get and I thank you.

Disclaimer: I'm their master, I've got them hypnotized...not credible, huh? Oh well...

On with it...

CHAPTER ELEVEN

For long, endless stretching minutes, it remained perfectly silent in the kitchen, only the antique clock was ticking away, indicating that, indeed, time still passed.

Sarah had put her head in her hands and was crying silently, shoulders shaking. She wasn't even sure what made her more sad: the fact that it finally sunk into her head that the act of an abortion was an irreversible one, that she could never have it undone, that she would have to live with the decision from now on, not even having the moral right to mourn the baby that was never to be?

Or was it the fact that Harm had briskly stood up from the table and was now standing in the furthest corner away from her. Looking small and defeated. Like somebody had punched him in the gut.

He would never forgive her for this. She knew it. She couldn't blame him either. She would never forgive herself, so why would he?

Even if this wasn't his baby, she knew he would have gladly helped her take care of it. If she'd stayed in DC, he would have stood by her, accepting the child as his own, maybe someday even adopt it.

Why? Why had she run? Why had she thrown away her dream on a steel table with just a stranger to guide her through it; a stranger who'd seen so many people cross the doorstep that she was probably immune to their emotions.

There was no excuse. She was so revolted by her own actions, she felt the tea surging back up again. She barely made it to the sink before heaving it all back up, slumping against the cool tile floor when there was nothing left in her stomach but some bile. God, it hurt.

But, somehow, as a heaven sent, it had shaken Harm back to the real world. Immediately he was by her side, helping her up, filling a glass of water, holding it in front of her as her hands were too shaky to take it from him.

"Drink."

It didn't sound all that kind, but she was so happy to hear him speak again, she did as he ordered.

After a few sips, she coughed and spluttered and he set the glass aside to pat her back.

"You okay?"

This was good, this was concern. But she most definitely wasn't okay. She shook her head violently.

"Harm…I…I…kill…killed my baby. I just, oh God help me, I…"

She would never have believed it five minutes before, but he was there, again. Making soft soothing sounds, he pulled her on his lap, rocking her against his chest.

Yes, he was shocked, disappointed, maybe even mad. Whatever had happened between them and even though this could never have been his baby, the fact she'd just…but he was partially to blame, the guilt he'd felt in the dressing room resurfacing.

So sad, they'd given the other one so little chance. So damn sad.

After a while, the crying reduced to sniffles and the wet bundle in his arms shivered. He scolded himself when only now he remembered she was only wearing a t-shirt.

For the second time in a few hours he lifted her in his arms and, ignoring her protests, carried her up the stairs, back into the guestroom, gently setting her on the bed before covering her with the blankets and the quilt.

"There now, wouldn't want you to catch pneumonia in the drafty kitchen."

She gave a wan smile.

"Harm, this is a modern villa, it's hardly drafty."

"Do you have to contradict me every time I open my mouth?"

"Depends on what comes out of it. Usually nothing very intelligent."

He grinned, recognizing her 'joke your way out of a painful situation' approach. His grin faded when, even though she was covered head to toe by the blankets, she shivered again.

Not allowing himself a moment to reconsider, he crawled in next to her, taking her in his arms.

"Harm! What will your mom think?"

"She'll think I'm not sixteen anymore and thank God you're not Jessica McAffee from next door."

"I smell a story here."

"There is, I'll tell you some other time. But not now, now you need to tell me a few things."

She resigned, shoulders slumping against him in silent surrender.

"I knew you wouldn't let the subject go."

He gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Don't you think it's a little too important to brush over?"

She remained silent, opting to let him start, since she didn't have a clue how to.

"When?"

Simple enough, that start. Just tell him.

"A few days after I left DC. I had it done almost as soon as I got to San Diego. It was awful, Harm."

The shudder running through her had nothing to do with the cold and he acknowledged her pain at the memory with a soft brush from his lips to her temple. She relaxed a little, feeling he wasn't mad at her.

His next question was more of a statement, that only required a nod of confirmation.

"Mic's baby."

Silently, she waited for his next move. Soon, he would ask the question she dreaded to answer, not sure if she even knew the answer herself.

"Why?"

Yup, that's the one. Right on cue.

"Because this baby…"

She faltered, as the real answer became clear to her for the first time since she'd been at the clinic. She'd known it back then, but could she tell him, now that she recalled?

"Go on Sarah,"

He kindly encouraged her, nuzzling her neck a little in an attempt to give her some mental support. He felt the initial madness fade away and all he was left with was the sad feeling of defeat he always felt when he was too late or had done too little to save someone. Like he couldn't have saved this baby. Or its mom.

She heaved a deep sigh and he felt her muscles tighten beneath his grasp, as if she was preparing herself for a fight. Maybe, on some level, he supposed she was.

"Because this baby…wasn't…"

Good, good, getting there, one step at a time…

"Wasn't yours."

There it was. The bomb was dropped, Pandora's box wide open. Next move should come from him.

This time, he felt his own muscles contract. A conversation, a promise made some years ago, almost forgotten as life took it's natural course, now jumped back to the front of his mind, clear as daylight.

"Going halves on a baby…"

He muttered, not realizing he'd said it out loud until Mac slightly turned in his arms. Apparently, the fact he remembered, was enough to open the flood of explanations and feelings that flowed out of her mouth.

"I was never supposed to have his child. I was taking the pill when I was with Mic. I must have forgotten to take it once, and guess what? He hit the jackpot. Then everything else happened. Your crash, the postponed wedding, the cancellation, Mic leaving me, you and Renée… than I found out I didn't miss my period just because of all the stress…"

"You should have come to me, Mac. I would have helped you raise the baby. We all would. Things like that happen, there was nothing to be ashamed of…"

His voice sounded calm, but she could feel the strain in the edges, knowing how much strength it took him to keep the accusations from taking over. Accusations he might not have a right to make, but still…he'd always been her friend, and as such, she had abandoned him, misjudged and mistrusted him and she knew it. He had every right to be mad at her for that.

"I know, but…I panicked. I always wanted to be a mom, but I waited and waited until that wonderful pink cloud of bliss that every pregnant woman is apparently supposed to have hanging around her showed up for me, but it never came. I figured that if I didn't, or rather, couldn't feel anything for this child, than it was better off not being born at all."

She looked up at him, saw unshed tears of frustration pooling in the corner of his eyes.

"I'm a murderer, a horrible person. I'll understand if you'd want to leave me here. I can take care of myself, I'll have to learn to live with my mistake, but you don't have to. I don't want to hurt you, Harm."

She was beginning to disentangle herself from him, just to beat him to it, convinced as she was that their friendship was now officially and irreversibly over and done with.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Instead of loosening his grip, he held on tighter, confusing her.

"Harm, I…" That was as far as she got.

So now what? Read and find out with the next update...won't be too long, I promise. Meanwhile, reviews of any and all kind still much appreciated.