Yes that's right, Tis I Queen of the world… so this is the first chap up, will start work on the next chapter tonight. Me hopes you enjoy.

I don't own Digimon, don't own Tai, should own Yama (If all was right in the world I would!)

Love takes more courage than most are able to exhibit- anonymous

"Once I thought I loved you

It looks like I'm through

Yesterday you showed me

You never loved me to

Looks like a false dream

A fantasy un-true

Maybe I hated you

As you loved to do"

I was greeted with silence. He would have found so much humour in this situation, yet all I was able to find was a general feeling of emptiness and a sea of faces scarred by regret. "Guilt burns you know." I never understood what he'd meant by that, standing here now though, it's finally become clear.

Expectant faces stared up at me from where they sat. Every misty eyed member of this audience wanted something from me, something profound I presume. What am I supposed to say? An explanation as to why this has happened? I don't feel it's my place to stand here and preach to these people about the evil's that have lead to this situation meeting at its head here today. I can't find the answers for everyone, as it would appear that there is none. I find myself considerably lacking in words that can actually be said. There misery seems pathetically ironic through my eyes, so I see no reason to offer any sympathy for there tears.

"At least he won't have bad dreams anymore." I spoke with a bittersweet smile as I lost myself completely in a far too public breakdown for these people to deal with. "At least he's safe now." I chocked out. I was pushing my luck. I know I shouldn't, but some things need to be said aloud, simply for my own peace of mind, and the peace of mind of those who really did care. It won't really matter as no one will hear me; no one will understand what is being said through my tears.

I caught Hikari's eyes as she cried. With a smile she wished me to speak on. To say what she couldn't. I lost myself further with every tear. I wonder if it is in fact tears running down my face, or the colours from the masterpiece he had painted in my mind washing away as the realisation that this was my final chance to say goodbye slowly sunk in. His masterpiece ran in pathetic streaks down my cheeks as I offered this guilt ridden audience the most painful of false smiles I have ever managed. Nearly everyone sitting before me will have soon moved on, allowing him to rarely enter there minds. It's strange really, the way people seem only to care when it doesn't matter anymore. They all seem so distraught, so heartbroken by his supposedly sudden departure. Shame they didn't care enough to help when he was here, didn't think to maybe take the time to make it right.

"He was amazing, as very few of you are aware. He was captivating. An artist in ever sense of the word. Have you ever just sat still, and watched the rain as it fall's? He liked to do that, it was sort of his way of understanding how small we all really are. He was, and always will be everything to me." I caught his father's eye for just a moment and wanted to scream. "And you took him away from me." Although my voice was barely audible I know he head what I had just chocked out, and he knows that I'm right. "Want to know a secret?" my courage grew a little. I saw my friends, there pain was real, and there hearts had been broken by a monster. I saw my Mother. It broke my heart that little bit more to watch her cry as this all seemed a little too familiar for her. "If you hadn't killed him." I had to stop for a moment as what I had just said registered on everyone's faces. "We would have been married in a couple of months, and as far away from here as possible."

I only had to take three steps down from where I stood, and then I was free to leave. Free to move on from all this shit. It was about time I left, about time I got as far away from this place as could. I'll leave here, head home, pack up, then I'll never come back, never look back again. It seems such a long way, three simple steps. I suppose that as soon as I've made it down those three steps my life is over really; he's really gone now, it's really over. It's all brand new once I've made it to the bottom, everything's different. Everything's changed now and yet it will be eternally covered in a mist of grief as I enter this sea of loneliness.

I take the first step. Unsure if I can go on any further.

I take the second step. Why the hell did you take him away from me? You let him win, you let him fucking win. I turn my head to say goodbye. I half expect to see him standing there behind me. That stupid grin on his face "Can you fix my jeans again Yama'?" The hole on his knee has come undone again from the last time I fixed it. One hand is covered in cookie dough, a letter for me in the other. A black eye and split lip, and yet still he managed to smile that smile of his. Unfortunately the other half of my mind was aware that he could never be there again. The picture of him in my mind was replaced with the reality of the situation; an open casket in an uncomfortable silence.

Everything that I once knew

It's over now

No you or I

Everything that once was mine

It's over now

No you and I

I took the final step, dried my tears on the back of his sleeve as I wore the only smart shirt he ever owned.

With a smile of pity directed towards his mother, I left, never looking back.

Well, that's the end of that one, hope you likes.

Love an hugs to you all xxx