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Chapter 12: Fear of…

"Fear is a strange thing. It keeps us from doing what we were 'meant to do' it holds us back. But the odd thing about fear is that we control it yet we never prevent it. It is not some force that is unrestrainable; yet we let it take over our lives. Fear breaches beyond human conception, it is a subconscious feeling as much as it is a certain one. There are different types as well, fear of: lose, moving on, forgetting, failure, loneliness, guilt, the past, the future, responsibility, and even yourself. To conquer this you must first realize it's even there; that is probably the hardest thing to do. Denial it right along with fear in every aspect; for what we choice to not face, we deny therefore provoking the fear and allowing it to grow stronger." London spoke these words in a tender voice that held much understanding in it. She did not look at Kate as she said them, her eyes stared into space; lost in thought.

When Kate realized London's mini speech was finished she sighed deeply thinking about her own subconscious anxiety. A giggle crept out from London's mouth as she smiles and tucked her head down. Kate was brought out for her train of thought back into reality by this laughter. It was nice to have a youthful girl around she had decided. London had become as much as a friend to Kate in the past few days; as much as any other person on the island had. Not being completely fooled yet Kate stood her ground, usually letting London do most the talking as not to give away too much. Little did Kate know her listening was only helping London get what she needed to get done, done. London's light carefree spirit brought joy to Kate in her time of solitude.

"What are you laughing at?" Kate asked playfully with a grin.

"Well, I though for a minute that you might be thinking about Jack and maybe how you had a fear to move on to the next step with him, Yeah I know… 'how do I know about Jack…' blah, blah… Kate, I am 'another' I know these things" London said with a wink. "So why having you two moved on?"

Kate was confused greatly by what London had said to her; she had not thought of Jack in that way for a while; since she had left the camp in fact. She didn't think if was fear that was keeping her and Jack from moving on she knew it was Sawyer's present and the memory of Tom; which in its own way is fear. But what kept her away from moving on with Jack most she decided was the fact that she didn't want to hurt any one any more; so she wanted to think things through. She wouldn't deny there was something there, she just wanted to avoid it all till she was back at camp safe and sound. Kate smiled at the London and said.

"Well ever since I have been captured my mind hasn't exactly been focused on Romance."

London laughed and told Kate.

"Yeah, I can see how that would be a bit of a distraction."

Wondering silently why she had inquired as to her feeling toward Jack and not Sawyer, Kate continued to smile.

"Oh hey did I tell you they let him go?" Kate's face became alert,

"Jack?... they let him go?"

"Yeah, about a day ago… your turn should be coming up soon but the project at your camp is taking longer than we thought." Kate had been told not to question anything concerning the happenings on the opposite side of the island because London had told her all she supposedly knew. For once London had told Kate the truth, the others had let Jack go the day before; once he had served his purpose he was released. He had been wanted for his reputation as a miracle worker. Sure the Others had excellent medical expertise but they needed some one new and once Jack had done what was asked of him concerning the 'illness' they had let him go not being worried about one man and a few gun keeping them from achieving their goal.

"My turn?"

"Umhum… Okay I gotta run I'll see you tomorrow, Kate." London left the hut for the third day. She went there twice a day to bring Kate her breakfast and dinner. Each day she had said little things that she knew would stick with Kate, and each day she left the hut knowing she had done her job well.

"Wait!" Kate hollered. London took a step back leaning back into the room.

"Yes?"

"When are the gonna let… him go?" Kate asked nearly blushing.

This question worried London but she hide her concerns well and shrugged responding with.

"Oh I don't know, he is choosing to stay here so whenever he has done all he can I guess they'll just force him out unless she proves himself worthy." London lied then left, not leaving time for Kate to ask another question. She smiled one of her beautiful smiles that could light up a room then shut the hut door quickly.

All those hours Kate spent alone in the hut got to her, though she saw the changing of light outside the hut and eat different meals each day, time stood still. Tragedy often creates that feeling, the world becomes quite till realization of what is right there doesn't exist. The fear that drove Kate to no longer trust Sawyer, the fear that kept her from escaping and the fear that kept Kate running all lay upon her heart as the night swallowed up the day and dreams took over her mind.

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Londy walked down the hallway quickly toward Sawyer's confinement room. He had been held in the pasty white room since she had talked to him last. Not having had time to talk with him the past few days she had decided to make and effort too that afternoon. When she was about to turn the handle to the room a hand was laid about hers.

"We have to let them go, they are a huge inconvenience"

"Not yet." Londy said coldly.

"How much longer is this going to take?"

London stared straight into beady, grey blue eyes.

"It's taking longer at the beach then we thought it would, plus I need more time with her. I have over two months with this guy against me here. You're gonna have to be patient." London was one of the few others who did not fear addressing the proclaimed Henry Gale in such a demeaning way. Henry as the losties knew him turned and stormed off knowing she had spoken the truth. He told her one last thing before he disappeared into another room.

"London, you are the best we have. If you ruin this then there is no re-dos here, you get one shot to make this work; or else it is all for nothing."

London stared for a moment at her hand tightly gripping the doorknob. Was she fooling herself? Spending her life manipulating others made it hard to be who she really was. She never got the opportunity to be herself. London cast aside her issues and set out to complete her mission to strengthen the hatred held at the moment between Sawyer and Kate. London put on a fake face and entered the room ready to face Sawyer. Little did she know he had over heard a bit of her and Henry's conversation and now had a slight advantage.

"So, ya skip town… don't call, write. What's a man to think?" Sawyer smirked at Londy. How ya doing lil miss masquerade?" Londy was sick of this act so she decided to turn on her charm but only just enough to throw Sawyer off; but he would not be confused that easily.

"Better now that I'm seeing you lone star."

Sawyer was a bit surprised by her sudden change of spirit, he knew it was Londy just being two-faced, but in the back of his mind he thought maybe she was being a tad honest, after all he was rather charming.

"What you trying to pick up on the whole nickname deal here?"

"What do you mean 'trying'?"

London was a beautiful girl there was no doubt about that, despite her age even Sawyer could tell there was something to her that let her crafty wisdom shine through in mature looks. He smiled a sincere smile letting his dimples come out in full force. Londy forced a blush and continued on.

"So when are ya gonna be ready to leave?"

"Well I'm busy next tomorrow, next Thursday work for you?" Sawyer asked with a sarcastic questioning expression upon his face.

"We're letting her go soon."

"Thought you would."

"Oh really?"

"Course cupcake, figured you'd tell her all about how bad a guy I am; butter it up, explain in your own twisted way why I brought her back. Then of course let her go back alone once your dirty work is done. After all that, you let me go, if ya ever do, she will have been reunited with the doc by then, who will of course comfort her. That leaving me so far outta things that your two most powerful opponents can't form an alliance; yet you won have to be bothered by us around these parts. Sound about right?" London was impressed about how accurate he had been. Except for a few twitches here and there he had hit the nail on the head.

"Yeah, that's about right. What? ya got some plan to ruin all our work, ya gonna go apologize, or explain yourself to her? She'll never believe you know; that trust thing between you two broke when you turned her into us."

"Now I think you may be underestimating freckles and mine's relationship here." Sawyer commented with a grin.

"Oh by all means tell me how?" Londy said crossing her arms and smiling in such a way that proposed that she was genuinely interested.

"I'll keep it all a surprise so you can just be blown outta your seat when your plan falls through."

London kept smiling then slowly got up to leave having nothing more of value to say to him.

"They say you're the best at it, is that right?"

London went back and stood directly in front of Sawyer, she leaned forward resting either of her hands on the armrests of the chair he sat in. She barely spoke above a whisper when answering his question, her deep sea blue eyes dropped to meet his crystal clear ones.

"She still hates you."

London knew that as long as that remained true she would be the best; no one else could twist this story like she could enough to make him think Kate hates him and her despise Sawyer enough to be fooled into hate.

Sawyer got lost in her eyes, taking in the own likeness of himself he saw in her. She was crafty, and harder to read than most. Sawyer's felt a hint of sorrow for her, the poor girl lead to lead a life already planned out, meaningless, full of duty, all alone. He knew her all too well yet not at all.

London left the room without another word. She was satisfied with her work. Of course she would strive for better but she could work with what she had. Her goal was in reach, Sawyer needed to be made more frustrated and Kate needed to be distracted. Londy knew if the plan was to be successful her part in it had to work. Sawyer had been wrong, she had not underestimated Kate and Sawyer's relationship; she was aware of its strength and it scared her to death.