DISCLAIMER: Bleach and all it's characters belongs to Kubo Tite, Sepiroth belongs to Square-Enix and Nick Carter belongs to himself, I suppose
As this is my first fanfic, I would be happy if you reviewed
Guide to the Bleach-guys on how to increase their sexappeal:
Abarai Renji: Smoking would definitely increase your sexappeal! Besides, you should really release your hair from that silly ponytail. By the way, when you're in your gigai, have a look in the fashion magazines first!
Kurotsuchi Mayuri: remove all of that corpse paint-looking make-up of yours! Take off the hat and cut your nails! Perhaps you should do some lip-surgery too?
Ishida Uryuu: those eye-glasses are SO last year, why not try lenses? Besides, that really outgrown Nick Carter-hairdo is just too ugly. Cut your hair, for god's sake! By the way, as we're going, why not try being out in the sun? Yellow skin is not good-looking.
Urahara Kisuke: man…you've got the perfect sexy attitude, makes the ladies flock around you – BUT do you really believe that a nickname like "sandal-n-hat-guy" suits that? No, it doesn't. Get rid of the hat and the sandals or you'll die alone.
Zaraki Kenpachi: uhm…well…eh…grow eyebrows? Seriously, there's nothing to do about your looks. Guess you'll gotta give it all for ladies who likes violence and insanity.
Yasutora, Sado: perhaps you should decrease the size of your lips? Women like mysterious men, but they do not fancy shirts with flower pattern.
Ukitake Juushiro: kind, intelligent, sweet and loving. What more could a woman wish for? Well, they wouldn't like a man that sounds like he's going to die any second. Go see a doctor that's specialized at lung diseases. And do something about those eyebrows, will you?
Ganju: I really hope you have the money acquired for plastic surgery…if not, jump onto your boar and ride to hell. Your sexappeal doesn't even exist.
Kuchiki, Byakuya: men with hairclips do look a bit gay. Try removing those and practicing smiling in front of your mirror every morning.
Aizen Sousuke: go ask Sepiroth on how to increase your sexappeal as a bad guy.
Ichimaru Gin: smiling is charming, but not smiling all the time. Try looking serious and open your eyes (I know they've got a beautiful colour!)
Tousen Kaname: blind men seem vulnerable to a woman, that's kind of sweet. Try getting a really cute service dog, and every woman with a heart will be talking to you. But before, why not get rid of that really ugly orange scarf?
Hitsugaya Toushiro: you'll only attract old pervs with that length. Try hormones.
Kurosaki, Ichigo: you've got a serious attitude problem. What about go a course in how to be a gentleman? With that style of yours, you'll only attract women like Inoue, sure you want to do that?
Kira Izuru: your pale appearance would perhaps be attractive IF you where totally goth. So, either colour your hair black and start wearing make-up or go get a tan. In any case, do something about your hairstyle!
Hisagi Shuuhei: well sexappeal doesn't really mean having "69" tattooed on your cheek. Although you've got a pretty cool style otherwise, but please answer, is that duck tape and ink-pen in your face? NOT attractive.
Kyouraku Shunsui: your lazy style makes me think of some kind of strange Don Juan. And please, this is not the 14th century, it's the 21st. Go shave and have a little less sake, your breath must smell awful.
Well, that was pretty OK, I hope
