Sirius sat nervously fidgeting in the home affairs department of the ministry, the divorce papers in front of him, waiting for him to sign. He knew once he sent them he'd probably never know his children, the person writing them up had warned him of that when he'd insisted on putting 'full custody of Crosby Sirius and two unborn to Harry James Black'. Sirius was glad James was made to sit outside during all of this. He knew if James found out who he'd married to, their friendship would be over faster than his marriage.
Taking a deep breath, he signed it and gave the thick set of parchment to a large brown barn owl. As soon as it disappeared outside the window, he regretted it and sank down onto the uncomfortable wooden chair. He had missed his chance at everything that was right at his feet. A chance for a family, children, a normal life. Not only that, but he had ruined the future of Harry. Left him to raise three children alone. One of thecleverest children of his age with the brightest future, ruined by his own godfather. If possible, Sirius felt even worse...
Harry rang the doorbell to the large house of one of the older residents of the neighbourhood that evening. With his back aching and both babies kicking extremely hard at his ribs all day, he hadn't been planning on coming to the local Christmas Party, especially not alone with Sirius still god-knows-where, but had been swayed by Toni that afternoon. She had begged him to come and not let Crosby miss out on Santa Claus's present and somehow, he found himself actually listening.
The door opened and an old woman smiled at him.
"Come in, come in, the party's already started!" She said and Harry smiled, pushing Crosby's pram into the house. He reached the living room and was beckoned over by Mrs. Tout. As soon as he stopped walking, he was almost bowled over by a pair of arms wrapping around his legs.
"You came!" Toni said excitedly.
"Antonia! Be careful!" Mrs. Tout scolded and Harry laughed as Toni let go of him.
"It's alright Olivia, I'm not going to break just yet!" There was a small yawn and the pram shook. Harry picked Crosby and put him on his hip, hoisting him up. He looked around the room at the multi-coloured decorations in awe like only someone his age could.
"Are you sure you should be carrying him at the moment? Where's Sirius?" Mrs. Tout asked him and he shrugged.
"He had to work." He lied, not wanting her prying into why his husband had disappeared on Christmas Eve when he didn't even know. Laughter from the adults filled the room as the young children ran to get a spot near the chair on the one end of the room. Crosby started to struggle and Harry put him down. He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him to follow the others. A few moments later, the chatter died down as one older man came out dressed in a Santa suit.
Once all the children received and opened a gift and Santa disappeared to change again, Crosby ran back to Harry, eagerly showing him the toy. Harry helped him set it up and watched him play with it until his head started to nod and his eyelids droop. He didn't protest as Harry picked him up and put him back in the pram, storing the toy with the various knitted baby clothes he'd received as gifts at the bottom compartment.
As Harry manoeuvered the pram down the two front steps, Crosby gave a whimper at the sudden cold. Harry pushed the front ofpram closed, blockingout the wind. He walked down the pavement silently, thinking about how wonderful the previous Christmas had been.
With Remus gone the day before, they'd had their own little dinner. He remembered Sirius saying how it had almost seemed like their own little family already and how he wished for it. Of course, with Sirius proposing that night after they'd put Crosby to bed, they had had the chance for it, butHarryhad rejected for the second time. They now had that family he'd desired, where was Sirius? Why wasn't he here?
There was a rustle of twigs and Harry saw someone looking at him from the side of one the houses. He walked on, slightly pissed off. Honestly, it was embarrassing enough to have to walk around in public pregnant. But to have people staring at you openly, that was just plain rude! The person suddenly appeared in front of him, grinning like a maniac.
"Hi!" He said suddenly.
"Um, hi..." Harry replied and looked at tall dark haired boy. "I know your face. Have we met before?"
"Backyard."
"Oh yeah! That was you?" The boy nodded eagerly. "What's your name?"
"Umm, Jack. Yes, that's it, my name's Jack!" He said, clearly lying. Harry's eyes lit up, remembering his little brother fondly.
"Well Jack, do you want to come home with us, maybe for some eggnog?" Jack looked torn, like he wanted to come but was holding back. "Or hot chocolate if that's more your taste?"
"I'd love to, but I have to go somewhere already." He said and Harry felt disappointed. Oh well, spending Christmas with a one-year-old couldn't be too bad. He nodded anyway.
"Yeah, I suppose you have your own family to go to." He said.
"Yeah,I just wanted to tell you to.." He stopped.
"Yes?" Harry urged him on and there was a moment's silence beforeJack shook his head.
"It doesn't matter.Merry Christmas." There was a moan from the pram. Harry lifted the top and saw Crosby was awake, rubbing his eye. Jack looked at him, eyes wide with fear.
"Well, we'd better get home, come on Crosby." He said and walked past Jack down the street.
Hesighec sadly as he got into the empty house and sawno sign of Sirius anywhere. TakingCrosby, who was falling asleep already on his shoulder and putting him in his crib,he kissedhis forehead and thanked god that he wasn't completely alone tonight.
He went downstairs and lay across the couch, wonder where his husband could be. After a few minutes, there was a tapping on the window and he looked up to see a large brown barn owl outside. He let it in and it dropped a thick envelope onto his legs. Afterhe opened it and read the top line everything seemed to stop. He couldn't believe it. The owl must have been sent to the wrong person. He flipped through it hurriedly and seeing the signature on the last line, his lip started to tremble. His hand covered his mouth in shock.
It wasn't a mistake. Sirius had sent them. Sirius had signed them. Sirius wanted to divorce him…
Thank yous:
Graceandpipp. Ok, enjoy…
Spazz1989: I did, end of the last chapter. But it'll happen more often as time goes on. In the sequel too, it causes some, problems…
SeriousSiriusFan: Yes, much, much, much angst!
Dancingshades: No fluff for a while then! Angst it is!
Boblin: I'll try. It needs serious fixing first…
Velveteen-dragon: It's crap cause of school. As usual.
Sweet Mercy: Good summary. He gets more horrid as time goes on. Remember, I said that last chap was not the end of his violent actions…
Amanda Burke: You'll see…
Shadow-hawk-opal: I considered changing my ending to your suggestion, but then I'd have to get new ideas, re-write everything, and if people weren't begging me, I'd do it. But alas, life's a total bitch.
Dybdahl: I'm having some trouble with it, so I don't know what I'll do yet.
Cucami: Oh my bob? Never heard that one…
Miru Amai: Thanks. Glad you're off work! I'll try to make more angst!chaps for you to get into
Kari Morgana Black: I know, he goes with his stupid first instincts a lot of the time, this story and Canon.
Sarahamanda: Thank you.
Sliver of Melody: Yeah. Die Harry! Poor Sirius! kidding!
EVERYBODY READ: I have a poll on my group. It's for voting on which of my stories you'd rather have finished first. If you can't find the link on my profile, search Mpreg spirit on Yahoo. This will make an impact on which get updated, so vote! Add the w's in front of the following and remove spaces for link:
groups.yahoo. com/group/mpregspirit/polls
