Captain Cragen sighed as he signed his name to the last piece of paper on his desk. Leaning back, he rubbed his tired eyes. This last week had been long and strenuous. Elliot had been sent home half way through the week to cool down after punching a suspected child molester. Fin and Munch were at each others throats and Beck was flying solo, not for the first time since her joining SVU. He longed for days of the past when things were slightly better. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that he wasn't alone in his office anymore. It wasn't until a soft. "Hello Captain." That he noticed. Blinking, he focused on the figure in front of his desk. "Eh, can I help you?" He fought the urge to look at his watch already knowing that it was well passed midnight.
The figure, a woman, tilted her head to the side. "I think you can." She said, cryptically, enjoying the look of confusion on the Captain's face.
"Alright, why don't you have a seat?" Captain Cragen stood and motioned towards one of the chairs that sat in front of his desk. Now that he was standing, he was able to see that the woman had a child with her, a toddler by the looks of things.
Sitting, the woman shifted the toddler, a boy, off her hip and onto her lap. "Thank you."
Cragen moved out from behind his desk and leaned against the front, arms crossed. "Now how can I help you, Ms...?"
"I have many names, Captain." She looked down at the toddler when he began to fuss. "Shh." She cuddled him close and brought brown eyes back to the Captain's face. "Which one do you wish to know?"
"Look, lady. I'm a very busy person. And I'd hate to have to arrest you for wasting the NYPD's time." Cragen was too tired to deal with this. "So cut the crap and tell me what you want."
She smiled and shook her head. "You never were one for patience. So I'll cut the crap and get right to the reason that I am here." She shifted in the chair and adjusted the toddler. "But first I must express my deepest hurt that you do not remember me. I haven't been gone that long, you know?"
Cragen eyed the woman. He took in her short blonde hair and blue eyes. His eyes roamed over her face trying to put a name with the face. "Olivia?" He asked a few seconds later as her eyes locked with his.
"I'm glad to see your skills are still intact." Olivia smirked and tilted her head to the side.
"When did you get back? Or should I be asking if you're really back?" Cragen uncrossed his arms and moved back around his desk to his chair. Once he was sitting, he leaned forward. "Does Elliot know?"
Olivia's smirk faded and she focused on the child on her lap. "No. You're the first person I've spoken to since I've been in New York, which hasn't been all that long."
Cragen shook his head. "You should call Elliot. He hasn't been too good since you left." His voice always took on a serious tone when he spoke about his senior Detective.
"It wasn't like I had a choice, Captain." Olivia explained. "I had done something the FBI had never managed to do. I had successfully, without question, infiltrated the most dangerous group of eco-terrorists around, the EDG."
"You don't have to explain yourself, Olivia." Cragen held up his hands to forestall her explanation. His eyes focused on the toddler and he quirked his lips. "Cute kid. The FBI paying their undercovers with children now?"
Olivia tightened her hold on the toddler when he started to squirm, wanting down. She gave the Captain a sad smile. "This is my son, Justice." She leaned down close to the baby's ear. "Say hello to the Captain, JD."
The toddler, Justice, giggled and grabbed at his mothers nose.
Cragen stared at his former SVU Detective. "Your son?" He asked in disbelief. "How?"
"Now that is a very long, tedious, story." Olivia placed a kiss on Justice's brown hair.
"I have time." Cragen said in a whisper as he watched mother and son. "Is his father FBI?" He wagered a guess after he caught sight of a wedding ring on her finger.
Olivia snorted. "No. His father was S.C.U.M or J.E.R.K, depends on who you ask." She looked up at the Captain. "Justice wasn't planned." She started. "Actually, I had never planned on sleeping with his father, Roy, at all." Taking a deep breath, she gathered her thoughts. "The FBI did their research and found out that Roy had been a member of EDG for years so they arranged for me to stay with him as soon as I got to Oregon." She got a far away look in her eyes. "Roy was a decent guy at first, he took me under his wing and taught me the ropes but after two months he wanted more than a working relationship. Undercover or not I wasn't going to sleep with him." She made a face. "So one day he asked me out to a local juice bar, one we had frequented quite often, and I woke up in the hospital three days later." She shrugged. "I have no memories of what happened after we left the bar, Star told me that he must have spiked my drink with something because when they found me I was really out of it. Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant. The FBI wasn't too happy that I decided to keep the baby. But it worked out in the end. Roy got twenty years in prison and I got closer to the members of EDG. They all rallied around me when they found out what happened. I was able to move up through the ranks without censure." She kissed Justice's head again. "And I got to keep my beautiful baby."
Cragen was speechless. "Do you know what you're saying, Olivia?"
"I'm saying that I was raped." Olivia spoke without hesitation.
"How could the FBI let something like that happen?" Cragen was angry now. "I loaned you to them under one condition, that you wouldn't get hurt, dammit!" He slammed his fists down on his desk.
Olivia watched her former Captain rage. "It really is alright, sir. I'm alright. I've had the best rape councilors money could buy. The FBI takes care of their own." She gave him a small, sad, smile and glanced at her watch. "I'm sorry I didn't realize it was so late. I should let you get home." She stood and placed Justice on her hip again.
Cragen watched Olivia stand and adjust her baby. Her baby. That was a thought he'd have to get used to. "You're not going to call Elliot are you." It was more of a statement than a question.
Sighing, Olivia looked down at her shoes. "I hadn't planned on it. Look, I'm not the same person I was before I went to work for the FBI. During the past year and a half I've had time to do a little soul searching. I joined SVU because I was the product of a rape. I felt so...alone until I joined this squad. Do you know that this was the first assignment that I actually felt like I was part of something?" She chuckled. "And I will always be grateful for that."
"Who's the lucky fellow?" Cragen motioned towards her hand.
Olivia blinked and rubbed her finger over the diamond wedding ring that she had worn for awhile now. "No one, not really. It's part of my cover." She looked up into curious eyes. "Like I said, I had a lot of time to think while I was in Oregon." She shook her head, blonde hair falling into her eyes. "Star has been there for me since the beginning. After what happened with Roy, she demanded that I be protected better. I was able to bring her into the fold as my best friend. She's been my partner in ever since. She was there when Justice was born, she even helped me name him; Justice David." She sighed. "Another way to ensure I was better protected was to marry me off. My current beau is Agent Franklin Hamilton. Once Star got established it was easy for us to bring Franky in as a friend I left behind whom followed us clear to Oregon to express his undying love to me. The marriage is legal but we're just friends. He's kinda like my bodyguard." Her smile faded. "That's why I can't call Elliot, sir. I don't know what to say to him."
Cragen chuckled. "You should give the man a little credit, Olivia. I think he'd be happy for you. At least leave him a note?" He grabbed his coat and walked her out of his office, stopping at Elliot's desk. "Just let him know you're ok." He placed a hand on Olivia's shoulder, giving it a little squeeze. He then ruffled the boys hair and continued on his way. He stopped before he exited the squad room. "Are you coming back or has the FBI stolen another one of New York's finest?"
Blue eyes moved around the room and she smiled. "I'll be back as soon as I'm released from the employment of the FBI. They've been trying something fierce to persuade me to switch teams. But I think I've had enough excitement to last me a life time." Olivia looked back to the Captain. "I'll leave him a note, it's the least I can do." She pulled out Elliot's chair and sat down. Searching the desk, she pulled off a sheet of notebook paper and grabbed one of the stray pens that was scattered over the top of the desk. She began to write, humming to Justice as she did.
For the first time in months, Cragen felt lighter, happier, and he smiled as he made his way out of the building and down the street to where he was parked. It might take awhile but maybe things would go back to normal now. He couldn't help but smile at that thought.
