Femslash people! You've been warned.
This story takes place somewhere in season six, no real spoilers because I pretty much changed things to my liking;)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the characters, not the settings, and there is no plot for me to own:)
Read, review and most of all... enjoy!
Love,
Jellicos
----------------------------------------------------------------
For six years I'd been watching her from afar. Seeing her work made me smile, seeing her smile made my heart ache. She was the kind of girl that didn't even notice when she turned heads walking down the street. Hence she never saw me watching either.
Not that it would matter if she did. They thought no one knew. But I'd been watching her since the first day I saw her. People thought I didn't like her or that we where civil at most. Maybe the second part was right. We'd never been close and maybe it was my fault.
She seemed so happy now and I was happy for her. But there was a part of me that wouldn't shut up. The part that said she wasn't supposed to be happy without me.
I watched her hair fall into her face, how she blew it away as she furrowed her brow in concentration. Then I wondered if he noticed these adorable things about her, the tiny things that made her who she was.
Before I could stop them, my thoughts drifted and suddenly I was cursing my old friends name because he was the one who got to touch her soft skin. He was the one who got to hold her, caress her hair and see those amazing dark eyes smile at him. And I hated him for it.
I knew I had no right to hate him for loving her. But I did. I had six years to make my feelings known. But I didn't and he beat me too it. But worst of all; she let him in.
I had always deluded myself into thinking that the rumours where just that; rumours. From her first day on the job they had been circulating. The lab techs smirking as the two of them walked down the hall together discussing a case. I hated it. But I never thought it to be true. I mean, sure he's a good guy, but I always imagined her having higher standards than that.
More precisely, I imagined her wanting me. But I knew now it would never be. Somewhere I'd always known, but never wanted to believe it. Not fully anyway.
And then I found out. He asked me where to take her for their third date. Third date. How did I not see that? I wondered if they'd slept together yet, but the thought made me want to strangle him, so I dropped it for the time being.
"Hand me those tweezers will ya?" I loved her voice; it made my body do funny things. "Catherine?"
"Yeah, sorry." I smiled slightly at her as she raised a brow at me.
"Tweezers?"
"Sorry." I handed them to her and she returned to the evidence at hand. Her deep hazel eyes twinkling as she found something of interest and her entire face lit up in a gap toothed grin.
I loved that smile.
"Sara?" I know the exact moment his voice started irritating me. It was the moment he told me that he was dating the woman of my dreams. And it was in this moment, as her face lit up at the sight of him, that I knew I hated him.
"Excuse me." I said politely and left the room, avoiding looking at him as I passed him in the hallway.
"Hey Cath?" He jogged after me. I took a deep breath before turning to face him. I hated every line in his face, every gray hair on his head and especially his hands. The hands that got to touch her.
"Yeah Gil, what's up?" I asked as I exhaled and stroked a stray hair from my face. Wringing his hands as he shifted his weight from one foot to another he looked so nervous.
"Look, I need some advice." He wasn't really looking at me, more to my left side. I cringed inwardly. This was obviously about him and Sara and I really didn't want to know what he wanted to ask me.
"Can't this wait Gil, I have work to do." I started to turn but he took a hold of my arm.
"Please Catherine; I really need your help." I sighed and turned around. Fine, I guess I could hear what he had to say.
"Alright…" I sighed and gestured him into my office. If we where going to do this, we'd better do it right.
He walked in and I closed the door behind him. He looked around the room with a little smile, like he'd never been in here before.
"What can I do for you Grissom?" I asked as I sat down behind my desk. At least now I could have some distance between us.
"I need the name of a good jeweller." He said casually. I felt my heart break and suddenly I had trouble breathing.
"Jeweller?" I asked quietly, for once thankful for my bosses poor emotional skills.
"Yes, I need to find a gift for Sara." He was smiling and I wanted to pound the smirk off his face.
"A gift." It was more of a quiet statement than a question. If he asked for her ring size as well, I was sure I would kill him on the spot.
"Yes, I was thinking something like a nice necklace or a bracelet." He said in a contemplative voice, completely missing the deep breath I let out.
"Antoine's down the strip has some nice things." I said. I'd bought a few things there myself, but the real gems I saved. He couldn't expect me to hand out my secrets to him when he was dating the woman I loved.
Wait.
Who said that? Fuck…
I hid my face in my hands as the obvious dawned on me. I loved her. It was as simple as that.
Damn it! How did I get into this mess?
"You okay Cath?" He was looking at me with a worried expression and I sat back up.
"Fine Gris. Talk to Jean at Antoine's, you can't go wrong there." I told him and he nodded his head as he stood from his chair.
"Thanks Cath, I appreciate it." He said. I nodded and he left.
Damn him for loving her.
Damn her for loving him.
Damn me for fucking things up.
I stopped breathing as I saw Sara walking down the hall, so deep in thought with her head in her folders. I couldn't see her, it hurt too much.
As she looked up and in through my window I turned my attention to the file on my desk, I was hallucinating. There was no way she was looking at me like that. Wishful thinking Willows.
Sara sighed deeply and walked away, ignoring the pain in her chest.
Damn you Catherine.
-----------------------------------------
There is a cute little button on your left. Press it and make my day? Please? There might be cookies in it for you;)
-
