Title: Seemingly Empty Bathroom
Author: bluekiwibubble
Fandom: House, M.D.
Pairing: Slight House/Chase, mention of femslash
Rating: PG
Word Count: 400
Prompt: Varietypack100 #26 Teammates
Summary: House thinks Chase is pathetic to be so bothered by the actions of a patient and her wife.

'Who's that with her?' Chase asked, nodding at the glass wall behind which a woman was sat with her arm round the patient. The two women were talking quietly, their heads close together.
Cameron glanced up from the test results she was examining.
'Her wife.'
'Her wife?' Chase turned to stare questioningly at Cameron. She ignored his startled look, saying dismissively,
'They got married last week.'
Chase raised his eyebrows. 'Not much of a honeymoon.'
'Oh, I don't know,' House stumped up, frowning. 'They don't seem to have let a small thing like having a potentially fatal disease stop them." He waved his cane in the direction of the patient's room, where the two women were now kissing. House watched as Cameron and Chase looked where he was pointing, and then smiled sardonically as Chase hurried away muttering something about 'be right back' and 'bathroom', and Cameron put down her papers and went to ask the women if they could please refrain from, erm, public shows of affection, as they were distracting some of the staff.

House's cane clunked loudly on the floor as he entered the seemingly empty bathroom and walked over to the locked cubicle. He leant against the cubicle door, and said scornfully,
"You're pathetic; wanking in the toilet like a schoolboy."
Chase's voice came through the closed door, slightly muffled but indignant.
"I am not!"
"Yeah?" House rapped his cane on the door, "So why're you using the cubicle, and not the urinals?"
"Did it occur to you that I might just be on the toilet?"
"But you're not, unless you can defecate standing up."
"You've been looking?"
"There's no need to be coy, I only saw your feet."
There was a pause, in which House could hear somewhat heavy breathing from inside the cubicle.
"Why are you here?" Chase demanded .
"I'm just checking to make sure that my team isn't being unprofessional."
"And standing outside a toilet cubicle heckling someone isn't unprofessional?" asked Chase incredulously. "Leave me alone."
"No, I think I'll stay here"
Neither of them said anything for a time. After a minute or so there was a stifled groan, a rustling of clothes and the sound of the lock being drawn back. Chase came out of the cubicle, smoothing his jacket. He glanced suspiciously at House, who gave a twisted smile and said,
"I want to use that cubicle after you."