Thank
you all so so much for reading and even more gratitude to you lovely
people who take the time to tell me what you think. Now I'm going
to ask for your help again. I'm running out of inspiration, of
ideas. If you have any suggestions, please let me know?
And no,
there will be no triangle between Sara, Catherine and Grissom. It's
not a bad idea; it's just not what I do. Sorry:) However, the rest
of your ideas I've taken to heart, thank you.
And yes, I love angst, and no, it will not be easy for our girl. I do love messing with them too much;)
Love,
Jellicos
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Chapter
eleven: Angry?
For a moment I just stood there, phone in hand, wondering what had just happened.
I'd arrived at work at the very last second, to find the boys sitting in the break room with wide eyes and jaws open.
"What's up?" I asked, looking from Nick, to Warrick and Greg and then back at Nick.
"I think we entered the twilight zone tonight…" Greg said in an almost serious voice.
"What?" I chuckled slightly and walked over to the coffee machine.
"Well…" Nick started. "Grissom just told us to get to work or get the fuck out…" He said in such a disbelieving voice he could have been talking about Grissom showing up in a clown suit. I stopped laughing.
"Did you do something?" I asked, sure there was a perfectly logical explanation for this strange behaviour. Of course there was, this was Grissom.
"No! He just walked in, slammed these folders on the desk," he gestured to the three manila folders on the glass desk, "and told us to get to work or get the fuck out of his lab."
I stopped pouring my coffee in mid movement.
"He what?" I asked, not sure I had heard right.
"And that's not the strangest thing either." Greg piped up. I wasn't sure what to say so I just raised a questioning brow.
"Sara's not here." Warrick said worriedly and jumped at some noise. Looking down I saw I'd dropped the coffee pot. It had shattered all over the floor and spattered coffee over my pant leg.
With
shaking hands I dialled the number I'd learned by heart long ago.
I had a perfectly good reason to call… she paged me, didn't
answer the phone and now she's not at work. Oh god… what if
something happened to her?
I took a deep breath as the phone
started ringing. I took a deeper breath when it kept ringing. My
heart was racing and my mind was going through different scenarios,
none of them made me feel any better. By the fifth ring, I started to
pace. I was so relieved when the phone was answered I didn't notice
the sound for what it was.
"Damn it!" It was distant and barely audible over the sound of glass hitting wood. But it was her voice.
"Sara?" What was happening? She sounded strange.
"Hey Catherine." Oh god how I love the way she says my name. Damn it Willows, focus! Wait… was she out of breath?
"Are… are you ok?" Wow, that's a wonderful way to start a conversation. 'Are you ok' what was I, fifteen? But what was I supposed to say? She sounded like… crap. Well, amazing crap, but… No!
"Yeah, just woke up is all." Woke up?
"Oh…" Fuck... She wasn't coming in today. That's why Grissom was so pissed. A whole shift without her. Well, I know the feeling. "So you're talking the day off then?"
"Huh?" Oh my… She really must have just woken up. Her voice was so sleepy, so low and hoarse. God it's turning me on. Fuck! "Fuck!" Did she say it or did I? Shit what was that noise!
"Sara? What happened?" Was she hurt? Something fell! "You want me to come over?" Holy shit! I said that out loud! Oh god no! Not good, not good!
"No!" Wow. There went my heart crashing to the floor. And what do you know… she was stomping on it.
"Fine, just trying to be nice." I shot back, trying to mask my bleeding heart with iciness.
"No, I'm sorry, I…" Great, it worked a little too well. Why did I always manage to do that? What was she doing? "Just… could you tell Grissom I'll be in as soon as I can?" Why does she have to mention his name? Where those bottles in the background? No, it couldn't be. Sara doesn't drink anymore.
"Yeah, sure." I hate him, I really do. Those are bottles... many of them. What was she doing?
"Ok, thanks." Oh, why does she have to have the most sensual voice ever? "Look, can we talk when I get there?" She wants to talk to me? Why?
"Yeah, no problem." I should try not to skip I the hallways, it will ruin my reputation. She wants to talk to me. I stopped walking. Maybe it wasn't good… "See you in a bit then."
"Uhm, yeah." I hung up the phone, trying to get my breathing under control.
Ok, Sara overslept. I was sure I'd heard her fidgeting with bottles in the background. She was late for work and Grissom was walking around like someone had just nailed his puppy to the door.
I really have to stop with the violent puppy-metaphors.
Wait… Grissom!
I ignored the surprised looks on the faces sticking out from various labs as I literally raced down the hallway. As I almost slipped in a curve, I remembered why I never run in this place. The floors where slippery and adding my high heels, it could easily result in breakage. But right now I was more concerned with Sara Sidle.
I was panting slightly as I threw open the door to Grissom's office.
"Doesn't anyone knock anymore?" His voice was hard and I could see he hadn't slept.
"You're in a delightful mood today." I said, mustering a half-smile at him, but I might as well not have bothered because he seemed completely oblivious to the effort.
"Sara will be a bit late." He didn't answer so I continued. He looked at me, a frown on his face, looking as if he was evaluating me.
"You talked to her?" He asked, the tone in his voice making me feel somewhat uncomfortable.
"Yeah, she was late so I called her." I said as casually as I could, trying not to remember how amazing she sounded after just woke up. How much it turned me on, how badly I wanted to hold her and- Fuck Willows! Get a grip of yourself!
"She's not in yet?" Wow, he really must be tired.
"No… she's not." I said as I sat down in front of his desk. "What's going on Gil?" He was starting to scare me. What the hell was going on?
"Catherine?" He leaned forward, placing his hands on his desk and folding them. That was never a good sign. "What's going on between you and Sara?" I felt my blood freeze. Fuck! He knew. She told him, they had a fight… he knew I kissed his girlfriend. Oh god… that's what she wants to talk to me about. She wants to tell me to stay away, so she can make up with Grissom. He's mad and she wants me to stay away so they can get past it.
"Look, Gil, it was all me. She didn't do anything." I blurted out. "It was a mistake and it will never happen again. I lost my head!" I sighed and buried my face I my hands. I couldn't look at him right now. Ok, so I hated him for taking her from me. But she was never mine and I'd committed the ultimate betrayal. I'd kissed his girlfriend. And I did feel horrible about it.
After Eddie cheated on me, I swore I'd never be part of anything like that. Ever. It didn't help that I'd been raised by a woman who was madly in love with a man who couldn't be faithful to her for a week. Since I was a girl I'd heard her crying in her bedroom, cursing the 'other women'. Now I was the other woman and it made me sick.
"Tension was running high, I got carried away, confused, it was a split second! I-" I looked up and realized to my utter fear that he looked completely shocked.
"She…" My heart sank to my shoes. "She didn't tell you did she?"
"Tell me what exactly?" He asked harshly. Boy, when I screw up, I screw up big time.
"Gil, she didn't do anything wrong. Just forget this whole conversation ever happened." Now why was I trying to save their relationship? Oh, yeah, because I destroyed it. Wait… if it wasn't because of me… "But if you didn't… if she didn't tell you… Gil, did you two have a fight?" I'd just gotten all the words out of my mouth when the door flew open.
Almost jumping at the intrusion, I turned to the door, a sigh of relief escaping my lips as I saw Conrad Ecklie in the doorway. For a split second I'd thought that maybe Sara would have the worst timing ever and sprint through the door.
"Gil, I need to talk to you. I-" He'd just strode into the office as usual, and it seemed to take him a while just to register my presence. "Oh, good evening Catherine." He looked back at Grissom. "Am I disturbing something?"
But Grissom just gave him something resembling a smile, completely ignoring me.
"Not at all Conrad, Catherine was just leaving." Even Ecklie seemed thrown by the rudeness. Grissom may have the social skills of a pineapple, but he's always polite.
"Yeah, I have work to do." I said, getting up and shooting Grissom a look. "Good to see you Conrad." I added to my boss and hurried out the door.
Shit, shit, shit! I'd done it now.
I was starting to wonder how long I'd be able to hide out in the locker room when the voices from the other side of the hall made me think about permanently moving in here. Or possibly digging my way out through the wall.
Apparently Sara had come to work, and it seemed as if she'd run into Grissom. Sitting firmly on the bench with my back to the wall, I tried to catch any words from the loud conversation.
But all I got where muffled voices. God, she even sounded great when she was yelling at him.
My thoughts took a turn of their own, remembering all those fights and comments she'd thrown my way. How her voice would go just a notch higher, how her skin would turn slightly reddish and look so hot to the touch. She'd lean closer; her pulse racing and I'd have to bite my lip just to keep from kissing her.
Maybe that's why we haven't fought in such a long time. Because I know how hard it is to control myself when she gets like that. So passionate, so completely focused on me. It's sick, I know, but to have her eyes fixated on me, her pulse raging because of me… It's almost sexual.
I jumped as the door was thrown open. Had I just made a wish come true? Sara Sidle strode in, her face flushed, her brown eyes sparkling with anger. God, was it bad that this turned me on? Yeah, most definitely.
"You made it." I tried with a semi-smile. I knew she'd ignore me, and she did, striding up, almost fuming as she gritted her teeth in seething anger.
"What the hell did you tell him?" She hissed. Desperate to show that my heart wasn't shattering, that I didn't feel horrible about what I'd done, I opted for my favourite strategy; 'Offence is the best defence.'
"Care to be more precise Sidle?" I crossed my arms over my chest, more to get some distance between us than anything else. I was not about to do the same mistake again. It had already cost me too much. But then, I'd think I'd give about anything to kiss her once more.
Focus Willows!
"What the hell did you tell Grissom?" She asked again, moving to corner me against the lockers. I couldn't believe myself as I backed away. And apparently she hadn't expected this either because she seemed to get slightly off track by me stepping back from her.
The reason I pulled back had nothing to do with her closeness, or any sort of fear, although it hadn't been a bad bet.
I could smell the liquid on her breath. I bet she'd tried to cover it up by popping cough-drops all the way to work, I could smell those too. But as she was standing right in front of me, I could smell the beer. God, was she still drunk? I thought she went to those AA meetings? Well, maybe not AA, but she'd had counselling, hadn't she? My mind started racing.
That's what I'd heard on the phone, the beer bottles clinking together. My stomach turned in knots and I tried so desperately and in complete vain to hide my worry as I spoke.
"Are you drunk Sara?" She was thrown. For a split second she just looked at me, confused and maybe a bit shocked. Then her face turned grim. I'd never seen her quite like this, and to be honest, it scared me.
"So what if I am?" She said, a strange smirk on her face. It was my turn to be shocked. The last thing I'd expected right now was for her to admit to being drunk.
"Sara, you're in counselling for drinking, you're at work! What the hell where you thinking?" Ok, not the best strategy perhaps. But she seemed unaffected.
"I was in counselling, and Ecklie just sent me home for yelling at my supervisor in front of the entire lab. Well, almost the entire lab." She gave a suggestive nod at me, but I was too busy processing her words to notice.
"Sara, go home, sleep it off." I sighed, wanting so desperately to take her myself, put her to bed, take care of her. But I knew that offering all this now would only make her laugh.
"No…" My breath caught in my throat as she advanced on me. I'm usually fast; I have excellent reflexes and agility. But she caught me off guard as she placed her hands on either side of me, pinning me between her and the lockers. She was standing so close; I could feel her breath in my face, on my neck. I could smell the beer, the cough-drops, but also her perfume; vanilla musk. "I'm not done with you yet."
I didn't know how I was still standing. My knees had turned weak from her proximity, and the words she had just spoken had forced me into a haze. Luckily she had me so effectively pinned to the lockers; she was almost holding me upright.
I bit back the whimper that was so close and forced my eyes to focus on her, not to back down. She was not going to win this.
"Get off me, you're drunk." Wow, that was lame. Even my voice spoke so half-heartedly that I would have laughed at it myself had I not been so occupied with resisting grabbing her. I bet her skin feels hot to the touch right about now. Bet she makes amazing sounds in bed.
Wonder if she's a screamer?
"Get off you?" Was she scoffing at me? "First you tell Grissom about…" She broke off and looked away. If I hadn't known any better I'd say she was blushing. But then again, she was so flushed already, so very hot, I could feel her body radiating- Willows!
"About what?" I was regaining some of my composure again.
"You kissing me." She said, and I knew my eyes must have widened because that mocking smirk of hers was back. "And then you're telling me to get off you?"
That's it.
My hands on her chest, I forcefully pushed her off me, watching as she lost her balance and with a thud landed flat on her ass on the bench. The look on her face was almost comical.
"You're drunk Sara. Go home, get some rest." I was about to walk out, but I made the mistake of looking back. She was still sitting there, looking so lost it broke my heart, probably for the seventh time in about five minutes. "Come on, I'll call you a cab."
As she looked up at me, her expression had changed so dramatically I almost forgot what had just happened between us. She looked so hurt, so vulnerable.
"I'm sorry." She whispered.
"Sara, let's not talk about this now." I said softer than I'd intended, cursing myself for being so weak around her. "Call me when you wake up and we'll talk, okay?"
She just nodded.
As I watched the yellow cab drive away with her I wasn't sure exactly what I felt. She'd need a friend right now, but I wasn't sure I was the one she needed. And judging by the way Grissom had gone to serious lengths to avoid her as we'd walked through the labs; I doubted he'd be of much help right now.
I still didn't know what had happened between them, but the fact that she was miserable and he was nowhere to be seen was making me boil.
As I left the parking lot, it was in search of him, the man who was dating the woman I loved. He was about to hear some choice words.
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Love it? Hate it? Ideas? Suggestions? Please, especially if you have suggestions about what you want happening next… tell me? I need ideas;)
