I know this is short, very short, but it had to be done. The next chapter will be longer and I think you might like it;) Until then, this is a little appetiser for all your amazing words. Thank you!
Love,
Jellicos
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Chapter
sixteen: Busted
"Transfer?" I felt like I'd been jammed into a much too tight steel locker. Oh, like the ones right in front of me. Hmm, maybe if I'm quick enough I could hide in one of those.
"I can't do this anymore." I stood up, ignoring my searing headache and nausea. Shit this was bad. Grissom looked angrier than I'd seen him in a few days, and I couldn't even look at Catherine right now. I made an attempt at the door, but I got about half a step before Catherine's soft hand grabbed my arm, sending wave after wave of pure hormonal bliss through my body.
"What the fuck-" She started, but I'd had enough. There was no way I was going to stand here and let her lecture me! If nothing else I wouldn't be able to keep from grabbing her and kissing her if she started yelling.
"No!" I interrupted her. "I can't do this!" I screamed. This was it, no turning back after I'd said this, but then, I was leaving anyway and if Grissom had refused my transfer before, he'd gladly accept it after this. "I hurt you Gil." I turned to him, but he looked away, not wanting to hear this. "I care so much for you, you're a fantastic friend, a great man and I yet I'm not in love with you. It kills me that I can't love you." I sighed and shook my head. The next part was the hard one. "Instead I love someone I will never have, the woman every guy in this place would jump through fire for." I couldn't look at her. "I can't stay here knowing I can never have her."
"Who-" Catherine started, and in my anger I just cut her off.
"You!" I shouted, facing her for the first time since Grissom entered. Not even the shock on her face was going to get me to back down now. Instead I advanced on her, with every step I took towards her, she took one back, and soon I had her trapped against the lockers.
"It's always been you! Do you know how much it killed me when I found out you where the one who'd helped Grissom with our dates? To know you knew all the little things that made my heart melt, but you didn't care enough to do them yourself? Or when I saw you with that sluttly little teenage brunette? To know you really did like women, it was just me. And that time you kissed me, I got so fucking scared of how you affected me, how you could make me feel. How nothing else in this world mattered as long as I could keep your lips to mine. So I ran. I didn't want to love you, but I couldn't stop."
"Sara, I-" She started, but the sad expression on her face told me all I needed to know.
"No, don't." I shook my head.
"But, I-" She wasn't going to stop, so I took the chance to stop her. One last time, I leaned in, pressed my lips firmly against hers. My head was floating, whirling about separated from my tingly body. I pulled away before she had a chance to react, to push me away again.
I reluctantly stepped back. I didn't want to see her reaction, didn't want to see the shock, the disgust, or the worry that now she'd have to turn me down. I wanted to remember her lips, just like they tasted a second ago. The soft, moist heated lips, the sweet scent of honey, flowers and the part that was just Catherine. I could grow addicted to it, to her. That was why I had to leave.
"I love you." I whispered before turning away.
My heart was cracking so painfully, and the last crack came as I walked to the door and saw the look on Grissom's face.
"I'm sorry Gil, you both deserve better." I made my way out the door before the tears came spilling down my face.
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Well, you know what to do my darlings:) I promise, the next one will be a lot longer.
