Title: It's An Acquired Taste III
Summary: Fon doesn't mean it, but he'll still say that he regrets not eating Reborn when they first met.
Background: Tokyo Ghoul
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Reborn and Fon first meet in a rather normal manner considering who they are and what they do.
Fon is waiting at a ghoul only bar, sitting on a stool that faces a wall filled with pictures of pretty humans spread rather erotically over large plates. More stools are stretched out across the wall on either side of him, most patrons slumped against the line of tables set into the wall, ghoul bits out on display.
Fon keeps his tucked in because his shirt gets in the way otherwise. He's in the middle of looking around, mostly over his shoulder to try and see through the crowded dancefloor to the entrance. He's meant to meet someone here but they're late.
A man in a three-piece suit slides into the empty stool next to Fon and strikes up a conversation with a woman on the other side, the ghoul's back facing Fon.
Fon fiddles with a napkin, bored, until the other man shifts more and Fon feels a tap on his leg. Fon looks down and finds a thin tail with a cute and fat spade tip like a cartoon devil. The tail sways lazily and keeps returning to slap Fon's leg.
Fon ignores it for now but after a moment of being played with he decides it wouldn't hurt to flirt back with the handsome man. He grabs the tail to hold it still.
It falls off.
Fon stares in muted shock at the tail, still moving, as the man glances over a shoulder at Fon.
"Excuse me," Reborn says and takes his tail back before reattaching it to something under his jacket that clicks into place, then just continues his conversation with the oblivious woman.
Fon frowns as the tail starts patting him again. "This a ghoul only bar," he informs the stranger even though Reborn must clearly know that – the human came in cosplay after all.
"One second," Reborn tells the woman with a charming smile and twists around on the stool to fully face Fon. "I am a ghoul thank you very much, I just so happen to also need a prosthetic."
"Those are contacts," Fon interrupts, gesturing to Reborn's black and red eyes. "And now that I'm looking for it, you smell like chemicals more than you smell like a ghoul."
Reborn sighs and pulls his wallet out of his suit jacket. He lays a few bills on the table in front of Fon. "Here, buy yourself the drunkest human they have and take shots of their blood until you start making sense."
Fon pulls off the tail again and throws it across the room. People flinch away in horror as a still moving kagune is flung onto the dancefloor, hitting some people on the way over.
"That was rude," Reborn berates.
"Why are you here?" Fon demands. "This is a safe place for ghouls."
"And I would like to be a part of this safe place," Reborn soothes with the fakest attempt at empathy Fon has ever seen. "Ghouls deserve rights too. Some people are just scared of what they don't understand, but once they kill a person for the first time, then they'll see that we're all monsters at heart. Ghouls are just uglier."
"You're that hitman," Fon deadpans when the realisation strikes him. "You know that ghouls don't like you either, right? It's not just humans that have a problem with you."
"That's ridiculous, everyone loves me."
"Oi!" someone roars, storming over to their seats with a few people backing him up, clutching the tail in one hand. "Who the hell does this belong to?" He grabs both ends and rips it apart, the metal mechanism inside cracking loudly under the strength and the tail finally stops moving.
"I think he's a human," Reborn blurts out, pointing at Fon.
Fon's eyebrows go up. This audacious little human... "What-?"
The other ghoul throws the destroyed tail down and lunges. While Fon is distracted with the mob that has formed, Reborn sneaks out the back. Fon eventually just pulls out his kagune to get them to back off before chasing after the human.
Reborn has the arrogance to be waiting for him in the side street behind the bar, hands tucked into pockets and contacts gone. Fon should not be surprised at this point but he still finds himself pausing.
"Why are you here?" Fon asks again, because surely the man didn't just do this on a whim.
Reborn smirks. "I wanted to see how fun sleeping with a ghoul would be."
Fon stands corrected; apparently Reborn was just bored and this is his idea of an interesting time.
Fon also swears to himself that he's just taking Reborn home to eat the human, but they end up in bed and the hitman just never leaves.
Chrome peers at her parents with her head propped up in her hands, elbows on the table. Her brothers are messing around, shouting loudly at each other, flinging weapons around, generally just causing chaos. Fon is at the stove cooking dinner for his husband and Reborn is thinly slicing some meat for everyone else.
"How did you meet?" Chrome asks. She's drowned out by the boys so she straightens up and prepares to shout in attempt number two.
Reborn glances over his shoulder at her and smirks. "Fon here noticed me in a bar and practically threw himself at my feet."
The boys settle down quickly, curious at the story.
Fon slides a sideways glance at his human. "Reborn was getting into trouble like he usually does and I was trying to make him leave."
"He was so innocent back then," Reborn laughs. "Uptight because a human wanted to join his super special club-"
"So cute," Fon sighs. "So arrogant as well. I had no idea someone could have such little self-preservation-"
"-gave me this outraged look when I didn't immediately leave-"
"-wasn't even a good disguise-"
"-grumpy when he doesn't get his way," Reborn ends fondly.
"-completely regret not just eating him," Fon admits in exasperation.
They look at each other lovingly. "I love him so much," they both say at exactly the same time.
When Tsuna grows up, he wants someone to insult him with as much love as his parents argue with.
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Other story lines within this one:
1. "Quick question," Mukuro chimes in with an expression that says he's doing this to upset people. "How do you have sex without daddy dearest being eaten?"
2. "Gags when he's rowdy," Reborn cuts in over Fon's protest about having control over his hunger. "And Fon's mouth goes nowhere near the important bits, even on a good day when he's full."
3. "I was playing with you," Fon hisses quietly. "I wasn't really going to do anything."
4. "Well I nearly started crying so I certainly didn't find that joke funny," Reborn retorts. "Children, never date a human. You'll eat them and then I'll have deal with you moping around for weeks after, like the time Kyouya took a finger off that Kusakabe kid."
5. "I wasn't moping," Kyouya hisses, almost identical to when Fon protested the same way. "And Tetsuya isn't a human."
6. "Which is why it's even more confusing that you wanted to eat him in the first place," Reborn continues. "You threw up everywhere."
7. Xanxus rolls his eyes hard. "You say that as if Kyouya is the only cannibal in this family."
8. Reborn purses his lips and turns to Fon. "Our cleaners talk back too much. We should get new ones; I don't like these anymore." (Fon doesn't even humour that with a response.)
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A/N: I've been thinking of doing a version with Reborn as the ghoul, but it's pretty much him trying to lick Fon the whole time.
Not that Fon is protesting – he would just like to point out that they should do this after they finish the shared hit.
Also, Reborn, please put the ghoul parts away. For even five minutes. Yes, your kagune is very pretty, but it's not subtle at all when you walk around the city with everything so proudly on display. No, lowering your hat does not hide your eyes properly, just turn them off for now.
I'll give you kisses if you hide them? Thank you. No biting. ~么么哒~
