Take a girl, give her a computer and wait until three in the morning and this is what you get.

A shitty story.

Disclaimers apply.


Neji couldn't believe this.

"C'mon screwy, it'll be fun, trust me!"

Neji felt his bandaged hand being pulled at, a firm grip pinching his pale hand and fingers as he was flung towards the park, his face barely missing the edge of a plastic slide by inches.

The moody teen ripped his hand from the grip that was so tightly grabbing his hand and scowled.

The jubilant brunette began to fling his arms wildly in the air, climbing up slides and swinging across the metal bars with his much to large hands. His laughter rang in the air as he ran around the deserted playground.

"Guys! Let's be little kids again!"

He was giggling and flinging woodchips over at the five stunned men that stood over in the sidewalk, all of them staring at the unbelievable sight that crossed their eyes.

"This is troublesome." An ebony haired man pulled his hands behind his neck, slightly leaning back and deepening the scowl that was already plastered onto his face.

A blonde next to him smirked, his white teeth hitting against the harsh Konoha sun that stood above.

"It's kind of funny though."

"He's an idiot." A moody spike-haired man crossed his arms tightly around his chest, his bottom lip sticking out slightly, "I'm embarrassed to be here."

Crumbs fell from the mouth of the fifth man, who stood by the rest, hand deep in a bag of chips and mouth full of potato chips.

"I think someone infected him with a disease." Neji grumbled, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper.

"I wanna play too!" The blonde jumped into the air, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement as he ran torwards the playground, landing on the slide to join Kiba.

"Great, Naruto was infected too." Neji almost slapped himself.

"Oi dobe, what are you doing?" The Uchiha barked at the two happily jumping men on the play set, giggling much like small school girls and swinging around the monkey bars like a couple of…monkeys.

"Well, you know what that means." The orange haired man crumbled the plastic bag between his hands, tossing the bag to the side before jumping into the play area with a heavy and meaty thud.

"Great." That lazy leaf ninja stifled a yawn as he watched all three of the grown men dance around the play set with a loud booming song escaping their lips.

Neji stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black shorts, smirking as he watched them. He still had his pride; he was never going to go play in some three-year-old park.

A long silence filled three remaining men, all standing there and watching the loud boys that swung and danced around the play set.

"Well, they seem to be too lonely, I'll go accompany them." The Nara child yawned, breaking the silence as he entered the wood chipped area, his feet crunching against the ground.

Sasuke smirked, "I thought you had at least mastered self-control Nara."

The ebony haired man shrugged, the soft cotton shirt he was wearing shifting slightly as his shoulders moved.

"I guess you thought wrong."

He walked over to the three dancing men, laughing as Kiba pulled him close with a slight embrace.

Sasuke and Neji still stood at the edge of the park, both fidgeting with the insides of their pockets as they stood there in an uncomfortable silence.

Neji ran his thin pale fingers through his long coffee mane, trying to ignore eye contact from the Uchiha that stood besides him, obviously trying to ignore his existence as well.

"They look like they're having fun…" Neji interrupted the silence and rubbed his chin as he turned to look at his long time rival.

"So…" The Uchiha shifted his feet uncomfortably as he turned to look at the Hyuuga branch member.

"So…" Neji shifted his feet as well, listening as the wind whistled around them.

Without another word, the two men sprinted towards the playground, not caring about their pride or their egos.

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"Check this out, check this out." The Inuzuka man lifted his hands up, wiggling his fingers in front of the men with a smirk plastered over his face.

He leaned forward, grabbing a fistful of woodchips in his hands before sliding them down his shirt. He held onto his chest, bunching the wood pieces together as he grinned.

"Look at this."

The two wood chips lumps in his shirt resembled two huge breasts, which Kiba pulled and poked at with a grin. His fangs poking out from his mouth as he grinned.

"Dude, look at that huge rack!" Naruto joked along with him, poking at the wood chips with a laugh, "It's bigger then Tsunade ba-chan's!"

Kiba joined in the laughter, "Do not touch my boobs!" He yelped as Naruto tightened his grip on the fake breasts.

"I'm Sakura!" The dog-boy chuckled as he began to walk away from Naruto, mimicking the pink haired woman with a high-pitched squeal of a voice.

"That's just wrong." Chouji shook his head in mild disgust; the thought with Kiba with breasts would disgust anyone though.

Naruto decided to join in with the game, grabbing a fistful of wood chips in his hands, he slid them down his shirt as Kiba previous had.

"I'm Sakura-chan!" He squealed, earning him a snicker from the audience.

"Hey!" Kiba whipped around, hands still placed on his "breasts" and scowl apparent on his face, "I'm Sakura! You can be Ino or something!"

Naruto shook his head, "She scares me."

"Well I'm Sakura." Kiba said with a flip to his auburn mane, "And I totally love Sasuke-kun!" He gave a wild squeal before rushing over to the moody teen.

"Sasuke-kuuuun! Will you marry me?" Kiba gushed, trying to control his laughter that was about to burst from his mouth.

Neji let out a small snicker as Kiba wrapped his arms tightly around the Uchiha's waist, bringing him closer.

"This is all wrong." The Nara child commented, leaning back against the railing of the play set and yawning. "You need to work on your acting skills."

"I think it's pretty amusing." Chouji said with a smile, continuing to dig through his chip bag.

Shikamaru smirked and closed his eyes as he hopped over the play set and onto the wood chipped ground.

He grabbed a handful of chips and slid them down his shirt with mild amusement.

"Sasuke-kuuuun!" The usual lazy leaf ninja seemed to completely drop his former personality, suddenly turning into a wild fan girl. He hopped quickly to the Uchiha, laughter dangling at his tongue and on the edge to fall out into laughter.

"Marry me! Kiba-chan's not as good as me!"

Now Neji was laughing, clutching his chest, loud laughter spilling out as he doubled over. The thought of Shikamaru with breasts was too funny. Laughter spilled out of his mouth as he chuckled at the entertaining scene in front of him.

Sasuke was mortified. But he couldn't help but let out a few bursts of chuckles. Shikamaru was pretty good at this.

Shikamaru let the wood chips fall from his shirt as he returned to his usual half opened eye and plastered scowl ninja self.

Kiba laughed, letting out a booming shriek of laughter as he leaned against Sasuke's chest, ignoring the protests he was getting from the Uchiha underneath him.

Naruto was laughing along with him, leaning against the railing and letting raucous laughter spill from his slightly parted lips.

Chouji laughed as well, patting his good friend on the back as he munched against his chips.

"Pretty good, no?" Shikamaru gave a sheepishly smile as he hopped off the play set and onto the ground, his feet crunching against the ground as he walked over to a small bench to pick up his discarded green sweater.

"Oh yeah? I can beat that!" Naruto clasped his two hands together, closing his eye tightly before uttering the words.

"SEXY NO JUTSU!"


Holy fuck.