Title: Starlets and Stuntmen

Summary: Skull is a stuntman acting alongside rising star Reborn and this is how they fall in love (how Skull harasses Reborn with bad acting and uncontrollable horniness until Reborn eventually gives in and they go on a date).

Background: Non-Mafia Acting AU

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Skull got this movie gig because Mammon shoved him into it.

Skull is a stuntman and he does driving mostly, occasionally parkour, and more often fight scenes. He doesn't want to act -never has- and is one hundred percent okay with his face never being seen on camera because he's in it for the insane stunts and explosions.

Skull has yet to successfully say no to Mammon, however, so he did the audition and got a call back and then got the part.

The movie is some kind of fancy tragic drama thriller that's probably going to win an award later or something, Skull doesn't really care. Directed by Lal Mirch, who's a terror at the best of times, and featuring actors like Reborn and Fon and (this is where the problem starts) Skull.

That's right, they hired a stuntman to act, which is understandably not the best idea when you're trying to make a movie like this. Skull is literally one of the main cast – it's horrifying.

Skull doesn't even understand most of the script, because the movie does that thing where it starts on the dramatic scene and does flashbacks. Skull fucking hates that. Like why make it more complicated than necessary?

But of course it's the most complicated plot possible because that wins awards.

The movie is about an actor who kills someone, so every set has twice the number of cameras with 'fakes' filming the 'fake' movie with a whole other script and 'real' cameras recording the 'real' movie, and sometimes Skull is the stuntman but most of the time he's the actor playing a stuntman.

"Don't make that face," Mammon says and slaps Skull on the back. "You look ugly."

"They took my makeup off, of course I look ugly," Skull mutters and runs his hands down the tight-fitting white shirt and plucks at his black slacks because in the fake movie Skull doubles for Verde, a mafia Don, and everyone knows mafia types dress in suits 24/7.

"Keep fussing and wardrobe is going to stab you," Mammon mutters, slapping Skull's hands away and re-fixing the slim black tie. "Go, they're starting."

Skull winces and looks past (real) cameras to the cut-out half of a bar, a pool table in the centre on the right side, the bar stretching across the back and behind an array of sofas on the left where the extras are gathered around for Fon and Verde's scene under (fake) cameras.

Skull is technically doing fake stunt double for Verde so he's got a green wig on, tattoos covered and piercings out. His very first scene is partnered with Reborn.

Reborn is playing Reborn – a rising 'starlet' who's sleeping his way around Hollywood and shooting to fame too fast for his mental health. Reborn is supposed to be having a mental breakdown throughout the movie because he doesn't know who's helping and he gets drugged at one point and people are dying and all his friends abandon him.

But Skull is here, Reborn's source of comfort and quickly Reborn's only friend because Skull doesn't have a bad bone in his body (or at least he can't act for shit so it 'comes across as pure' according to Lal).

Skull technically doesn't know who the murderer is but it's definitely going to be Reborn.

The movie is supposed to be a really tense tragedy where everyone 'knows' Verde does it because he gets rid of one of Reborn's stalkers in a mysterious way, then frames Fon because Reborn and Fon have a thing going on, and at one-point Reborn thinks even the director is the one stalking him because Verde is that good at psychological warfare.

Super suspenseful. Excellently written. Lal even refused to give the ending of the script to people – it's only for her and the writers to know.

Honestly, it would be a great mystery if only Reborn wasn't typecast as a murderer. Literally every movie and show, he's a narcissistic serial killer (however finely tuned). Then again, Verde is always the one with mind games and plays insane villains a little too well so it's a toss-up.

"Wish me luck," Skull sighs and pushes away from the wall.

"He's going to eat you alive," Mammon muses.

Skull weaves between cameras, stepping over taped down cables, and comes to a stop by the pool table to stand a little too awkwardly far away from Reborn.

The actor is sitting up on the edge of the table, legs crossed at the knee and acting as an actor waiting for his scene to happen. Reborn is also a (fake) mafia hitman so he's all tall, dark and handsome in a slim-cut three piece suit and fancy fedora currently abandoned on the pool table.

Reborn raises an eyebrow and looks Skull up and down. "This is going to be painful."

"God, what a confidence boost," Skull winces and rolls his shoulders.

"If you make me re-do any scene more than five times…" Reborn warns.

"Reborn, are you threatening him?" Colonnello calls out across the set, sitting in the director's chair he stole from Lal because he's the fake director currently watching over Fon and Verde's fake mafia conversation.

"What?" Reborn gasps, putting a hand to his chest. "Does that sound like me?"

"Get in positions!" Lal orders, standing with her arms crossed just behind the camera line next to Skull.

Fon and Verde settle themselves side-by-side on a corner couch, raised up above the dancefloor with the extras. They'll have an intense conversation and then Reborn will come in and try to kill Verde (Skull) only to discover Skull is yet another fake body double.

Reborn cups his hand around his mouth. "Fon, you look adorable in a suit! You too, Kyouya!"

Kyouya, Fon's stuntman, is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and waiting in boredom until his part. He gives Reborn a deadpan stare.

"I love his grumpy face," Reborn muses happily.

Skull says nothing for a drawn-out moment. "Are you talking to me?"

Reborn sighs. "This is going to be a long day."

Lal counts down and the extras starts moving around silently, the club lights start pulsing and the DJ jams out noiselessly – all of that stuff gets put in later. Fon and Verde start their conversation, and at normal talking volume they're a low buzz down this end of the room.

Reborn glances sideways at Skull. "You look strange in green."

"You've never seen me blond," Skull responds, his joke falling flat and ohgod he can even hear it crashing.

"No," Lal cuts in. "Reset! Skull, you need to relax, you've acted before, this isn't that different."

Skull winces and shuffles on his feet. "Yep, I know." He focuses on Fon and Verde who also reset. Half the trouble of this movie is going to timing two scenes together.

Reborn glances sideways at Skull. "You look strange in green."

"You've never seen me blond," Skull jokes.

Reborn purses his lips like he's trying to stop a smile. He holds out a hand. "I'm Reborn. I don't think we've ever officially met."

"Skull," he greets. "I think you ran me over once or twice." Skull reaches out and awkwardly misses Reborn's hand because he's too busy trying to control his face and he doesn't look down and Jesus take me now.

Reborn, this champion, tries to keep going. "I think I remember-"

"Reset," Lal says.

Skull turns away and hunches over the pool table with a pained groan.

"That one hurt to watch!" Colonnello calls out.

"Oi," Lal complains. "You're meant to focusing on your scene."

"The awkward was too overwhelming, I could smell it wafting over," Colonnello laughs.

Reborn straightens his back and glances sideways at Skull. "You look strange in green."

"You've never seen me blond," Skull jokes.

Reborn purses his lips like he's trying to stop a smile. He holds out a hand. "I'm Reborn. I don't think we've ever officially met."

"Skull," he greets. "I think you ran me over once or twice." Skull takes Reborn's hand and they shake.

"Do you die a lot?" Reborn asks and shifts himself on the edge of the pool table until he's focusing on Skull.

"To be honest, I don't win a lot of fi-fights," Skull admits. "Shit, sorry."

They reset again.

Reborn glances sideways at Skull. "You look strange in green."

"You've never seen me blond," Skull jokes.

Reborn purses his lips like he's trying to stop a smile. He holds out a hand. "I'm Reborn. I don't think we've ever officially met."

"Skull," he greets. "I think you ran me over once or twice." Skull takes Reborn's hand and they shake.

"Do you die a lot?" Reborn asks and shifts himself on the edge of the pool table until he's focusing on Skull.

"To be honest, I don't win a lot of fights," Skull admits. "But only because I'm told I can't."

Reborn smirks. "Oh? You think you can take on Fon in a fair fight?"

Skull holds up his hands. "Nothing against your friend but he doesn't stand a chance against someone of my calibre."

Reborn puts a hand over his eyes. "I can't. I really can't, everything you say just comes out so gross."

Lal sighs. "Do you want to drop the script? It's literally just you two getting to know each other – that's everything you do. For a majority of your scenes."

"I really can't improv," Skull admits.

"It's not improv, it's making friends," Lal tries. "One normal conversation. Skull, you need to get into the groove of it and you'll be fine, you are the furthest thing from self-conscious or camera-shy."

"We can…" Skull shrugs. "Yeah."

Lal calls for another reset.

Skull watches Fon and Verde, and waits for Reborn to start his line, waits some more. Wonders if he should start. Are they not doing the scene? Does Skull go first?

Reborn bounces one of his feet idly, watches the fake scene in boredom. He looks to the other side and picks up a squat glass of alcohol on the edge of the pool table and gives it to Skull. "Have you ever had fake alcohol?"

Skull takes it automatically and sips. Contemplates it for a moment. Bends over and spits out the mouthful onto the floor under Reborn's dangling feet.

"Yeah," Reborn says apathetically, hunching over with an elbow on his thigh, fist squishing his cheek. "Five years of drinking that bin juice."

Skull wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and stands up again, mouth puckered hard because he can still taste it. "Why would you make me drink that?"

"Oh, I made you, did I?" Reborn scoffs and finally turns to look at Skull.

Skull stares at the glass. "Is that -what- apple juice and…" Skull takes another sip before spitting it out on the ground again. "Sparkling water?"

"Stop spitting everywhere," Reborn complains but there's humour in his voice.

Skull reaches in and pulls out a squishy, jiggly ice cube. "What is this? It keeps touching my face and I keep having such a visceral reaction of terror."

"It's silicon, so the drink doesn't make any noise when the important actors are talking." Reborn straightens his back and nods his head towards the fake scene.

Skull watches in growing amusement as Verde picks up his drink and sips. "Not even a flinch, wow." Skull drops the fake ice back in the glass and cautiously puts it back on the edge of the pool table like it's liable to bite him.

"Wine is even worse," Reborn admits. "I've been typecast as a man who sips wine and sometimes I think about quitting to be a pornstar."

"The lube probably tastes better," Skull offers up and immediately jerks a hand over his mouth. "Am I allowed to say that?" What rating is this movie?

"Are you shy?" Reborn smirks and leans in. "That's strange for a man with rumours of having his navel pierced."

"Bite your tongue," Skull scoffs, slapping his hand down on the pool table. "People with piercing on their bellybuttons are hookers, or they're lying about not being hookers!" The mafia scene gets louder and Skull automatically looks over and goes quiet. "Anyway, I have studs down my dick like a real man."

Reborn opens his mouth, closes it and then stares.

"You wanna see?" Skull laughs because he's genuinely forgotten how this scene is supposed to go.

"Maybe you should start with your name first," Reborn says in such a condescending drawl.

"Skull de Mort, Immortal Stuntman, hated by the Grimm Reaper," Skull declares.

Reborn hums, eyes narrowing. "All you do is get punched in the face a lot, I don't think you can throw around 'immortal'."

"And you've probably never punched someone before, but you get paid to run around murdering people with a fake gun," Skull retorts and doesn't even flinch when Reborn's fist comes to a stop right in front of his nose.

Skull readjusts the elbow, aligns the fist with his eye instead.

Reborn frowns a little bit. "Don't know what I was expecting." He bumps Skull on the face.

Skull's head snaps to the side and he throws himself onto the pool table, landing awkwardly with his legs dangling over the side, one arm splayed across the table, the other flopped around near his stomach. "I mean, it still would have hurt. But you wouldn't have broken my face."

Reborn bats away the striped orange and then the solid red pool balls and lays down on his side facing Skull, legs tucked up on the wooden edge neatly. "Well, I suppose it's nice to officially meet you, Skull."

Ten minutes later, Reborn slams Skull down over the pool table and hikes a leg up over his chest, pinning down one arm. Skull tries to throw him off but the angle is awkward, the raised table edge cutting into his upper back, feet skittering over shattered glass and kicking away the broken pool cue.

Reborn grabs the eight ball and the cold, heavy weight strikes Skull across the face again and again and again until he stops moving. Reborn drops the ball and it rolls away, leaving a trail of blood, the red soaking into Skull's green wig.

Reborn slides off and steps back. Skull's body drops.

Reborn rakes a bloodied hand through his hair, picks up the fedora off the ground and it shadows his dark eyes when he puts it on. "Where's the real Verde?"

Fon steps over the others from the Millefiore famiglia. "Hiding, as always."


Skull stands off to the side holding a small paper bag of donuts. There's a camera on a track sitting beside him that's supposed to follow him in and he keeps glancing at it accidentally.

Reborn is already sitting down at the (fake) rest area with just a bunch of chairs shoved up against the wall of the set's warehouse. He's sipping espresso out of a takeaway cup and tucked into himself because he just had a (fake) argument with Fon since Verde has slowly started to cause some mischief.

Lal silently cues in Skull and he walks over, shoves a purse to the ground and sits down beside Reborn. He says nothing for a long moment, doesn't quite look at Reborn either because Skull saw the argument and has come to cheer him up but is a bit awkward.

Reborn shifts slightly and holds up his coffee.

Skull takes it and sips. "Not my favourite."

Reborn tries for a smile but he just looks tired. "You really just drink anything you're given, huh?"

Skull shrugs. "We're on set, are you expecting someone to roofie me? Paranoid, much?"

"Whatever," Reborn dismisses. "I bet you do it at bars too. I bet you find random drink bottles on the train. I bet you licked handrails as a kid."

Skull slaps the paper bag against Reborn's chest. "Just eat your dumb donut. Nearly lost an arm getting it for you."

Reborn unrolls the top of the paper bag and peeks inside, pulling out a cute teddy bear head to bite into.

"Good choice, I sprinkled ketamine on that one," Skull deadpans.

Reborn chokes and turns away, coughing out the piece of half chewed donut.

"You'll look pretty in my basement," Skull whispers creepily and laughs when Reborn throws the bag at him, fumbling the catch with one hand and the paper bag drop to the ground before Skull picks it up again.

Reborn snatches the coffee cup back with a snarl. "Go! Restart."

"It was fine," Lal dismisses. "Keep going."

"I just fucking spat out a donut, we are not using that take!"


Skull stands in the waiting area, shuffling his feet awkwardly and looking anywhere but the cut-out corner of a bedroom with Reborn making a lot of interesting noises.

"No," Colonnello calls out with a sigh. "Reborn, realistic, please. Can you do realistic sex?"

"You don't know how loud I am," Reborn complains, sitting up on Fon.

"Okay, but why do you sound like a woman?"

"How dare you!" Reborn cries. "I have the manliest moans."

Skull's head tips forward and he smothers a laugh.

"Reborn," Fon tries, patting the hitman's bare thighs. "It's very cold, I really don't want to stay naked for the next three hours while you torture everyone for your own amusement because you're in a mood."

"A mood!" Reborn laughs, too loudly, looks to where Verde leans against the wall even though all his scenes are over with today. "Fon, I'm just waiting for the director to give in and let me have a proper sex scene."

Skull is looking over at Verde too now, the way the man is watching Reborn.

"Maybe I need my stunt double," Fon muses.

"I don't want to have to deal with a pissed off Kyouya," Colonnello rejects immediately. "Come on, Reborn, what's the problem?"

"Nothing," Reborn insists, his shoulders tense. "I just really can't get into it. You kept making me do retakes and now it just feels weird."

Skull hesitates but walks over and comes to a stop near Verde. "Hey, can I ask about the next wardrobe change? My stylist said I'd use your clothes specifically to keep the blood stains – can I see the piece?"

Verde glances at Skull and his eyes are empty like he's looking through Skull. "Now? Don't you have a scene coming up?"

"Reborn is going to take a while." Skull shrugs it off. "Wait, do…you have a scene coming up?"

Verde glances back to the bedroom and then away. "The clothes are in my changing room. Let's go."

Skull looks back over his shoulder on the way out and Reborn is staring after him.

Lal applauds. "Well done! Wow, Verde that disturbing intensity was impeccable."

"When you say that, it sounds like an insult," Verde muses, ducking back into the set with Skull. "But thank you, it really does come naturally."

"That's worrying," Colonnello mutters.

"Where's my compliment?" Reborn demands, climbing off Fon and pulling his fluffy black bathrobe back on.

"You did actually keep me very warm," Fon offers up as he redresses too.

Skull raises a hand. "I appreciated the pornstar moans."

"Thank you, Skull," Reborn coos and winks. "Come to my changing room after, I'll show you what else I can do."

"I wish I could but my manager would skin my face."


Skull is splayed out on the couch in Reborn's dressing room playing games on his phone as the man in question paces around trying to make himself cry because the eye drops don't work to make his eyes red enough.

"Dead puppies," Reborn hisses at himself.

Skull laughs. "We could just mace you if you really need it."

"No," Lal says, reading her emails on her tablet.

The room is a bit cramped with all the cameras since they're using Reborn's actual dressing room.

"Dead kittens," Reborn tells himself. "Dead pandas. Dead wombats. Dead lizards. Dead Leon, dead Leon, dead Leon."

The next time Skull looks up from his phone, Reborn is standing in the middle of the room, silent tears running tracks down his face and soaking the collar of his shirt, the man staring out into the distance looking devastated.

"Reborn!" Skull cries, dropping his phone and flipping of the couch. "Baby, what's wrong? Hey, are you okay?"

Reborn sobs and crumples into Skull's arms. Lal drops her tablet in shock.

"I'm here," Skull soothes, gently rocking them back and forth. "It's okay, sweetie. What's wrong?"

Reborn hiccups. "Dead Leon," he whimpers.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Lal complains. "I actually got worried. Damn, roll the cameras."

"Let's give him a moment," Skull says with a frown. "I think he needs to calm down."

"He's imagining his pet lizard dead," Lal deadpans. "He doesn't need to calm down, he's just an idiot."

"I wanna call the sitter," Reborn sobs. "I want Leon."

"Oh, sunshine," Skull croons and helps Reborn over to the couch. "Okay, okay. What's the number? Here, we'll call on my phone."

Lal drags a hand down her face. "Let's break for half an hour."


Skull waits for Verde to get out and then climbs into the car, flashing a grin at Reborn. "Buckle up, buttercup."

Reborn crosses his arms and narrows his eyes, in full hitman gear so it's quite intimidating. "Just drive."

"Maybe more annoyed," Lal says through the earpiece.

Reborn scoffs. "I've driven in race cars before, I highly doubt you deserve that smug grin on your face."

"Nicer but keep the irritation?" Lal muses.

Reborn raises an eyebrow. "Should I fake being amazed?"

"Flirty," Lal suggests.

"I love a man who's confident," Reborn purrs.

Lal hums. "More horny."

Reborn slides a hand up Skull's thigh. "Keep your eyes on the road, I'm going to suck your dick."

"Wholesome horny," Lal corrects.

Reborn smirks. "If you make it impressive, I'll let you take me out to dinner."

"Not quite," Lal mutters. "Okay how about you try-"

"I need a break," Skull blurts out, slumping against the door and unable to look at Reborn. "I need -ohgod- let me have a minute."

Reborn laughs.

Lal seems to have a lightbulb moment, jerking up from her seat on top of a car's hood. "Wait! We could actually – hey, Colonnello get over here. Audio guys, get me a transcript of that, we're going to use it."


"More psychotic," Lal tells Verde. "Full psychotic. All these other people love Reborn too, but he thinks they love him more than you and he's wrong and you need to show him-"

"Lal," Reborn cuts in, naked and bleeding heavily at Verde feet, the red dye slowly swirling down the shower drain. "I don't feel comfortable with your victim blaming."

"The man has a point," Fon chimes in, hiding behind the bathroom door and waiting to burst in with Kyouya beside him.

"I do understand where you're coming from though," Verde offers up. "We should do this before all the blood gets washed off."

"Can you turn the hot water up just a tad?" Reborn asks Verde who's closest to the taps.

Lal frowns. "You're using hot water?"

"I'm great with shivering," Reborn says and demonstrates uncontrollable shaking, even stuttered breathing.

"You get hot water now but we're also doing a run with cold," Lal says and cues the start.

Skull peeks over Lal's shoulder, dressed as Verde officially this time and grimacing as Verde starts his crazed ranting. He paces around a bit and not even Fon's serene smile can calm him down.

Lal breaks and they cue in Skull.

Reborn cries out, his head snapping to the side with the force of the slap and he collapses completely, bowled over as Skull straddles his naked stomach and starts choking him. Kyouya slams open the door hard enough that it's blown off its hinges and Skull surges up.

Reborn curls up on his side and sobs, shaking with pain and the Morning Glory he was drugged with making him trip. There's a loud crash as Skull is thrown hard enough to shatter the mirror and Reborn screams, clapping his hands over his ears.

"Make it stop," Reborn sobs. "Fon, make it stop."

Skull crash tackles Kyouya out of the room and Lal calls it.

"Alright," she says. "Now we'll do a cold shower run and then Skull can start killing people."

"What?" Skull asks, getting helped up by Fon.

"Repeat the scene but with Reborn's shower running cold," Lal explains.

"No, but what was the second thing?" Skull clarifies.

Reborn is sitting up, incredulous. "Skull is the murderer?!"

Verde is offended. "I'm not the biggest bad guy here?"

"Are people going to like that?" Fon asks hesitantly. "There was no build-up, I think throwing in Skull with the last five minutes is maybe too much."

Lal scoffs. "No build-up? Skull is the creepiest one here. We barely had to edit it and suddenly all those retakes make him look like a complete stalker."

Kyouya is nodding along.

"What." Skull looks around. "Wait, so I'm the villain? I never played a single mean scene."

"No, but you stare a lot," Lal corrects. "It's fine, you'll see when the movie is released."

Reborn starts laughing. "We won't be winning any awards, I can tell you that."


Reborn bats away the striped orange and then the solid red pool balls and lays down on his side facing Skull, legs tucked up on the wooden edge of the table neatly. "Well, I suppose it's nice to officially meet you, Skull."

Skull takes Reborn's hand and leans in close. "I'm sorry I took so long."


Reborn tries for a smile but he just looks tired. "You really just drink anything you're given, huh?"

Skull shrugs. "We're on set, are you expecting someone to roofie me? Paranoid, much?" He glances at Reborn from under his eyelashes.

"Whatever," Reborn dismisses.


"Reborn is going to take a while." Skull shrugs it off. "Wait, do…you have a scene coming up?"

Verde glances back to the bedroom and then away. "The clothes are in my changing room. Let's go."

Skull's eyes narrow on Verde's back and his eyes look dark under the lights. He looks over his shoulder on the way out, smiles secretively when he sees Reborn staring after him and so hopeful.


"Reborn!" Skull cries, dropping his phone and flipping of the couch. "Baby, what's wrong? Hey, are you okay?"

Reborn sobs and crumples into Skull's arms.

"I'm here," Skull soothes, gently rocking them back and forth. "It's okay, sweetie. What's wrong?" Skull shushes Reborn gently, holding him tight and turning in to Reborn's neck, strokes Reborn's back with firm hands.


"I need a break," Skull blurts out, slumping against the door and unable to look at Reborn. "I need -ohgod- let me have a minute."

Skull peeks out through his fingers, watches Reborn laugh.


"What do you mean?" Skull asks in shock and it doesn't look quite right.

"Verde's body was found," Fon says quietly, and he doesn't see Skull expression because he's looking down at his lap. "Reborn is still gone, I checked his house, I – the police think he killed Verde and ran. I told them what Verde did, said it was self-defence and they amended the arrest warrant but I'm not sure, really, why Reborn hasn't come back."

"I hope Reborn is okay," Skull says in worry and it doesn't sound quite right.


The cinema lights brighten slowly as the end credits roll across the screen over shaky CCTV footage of Reborn and Skull lying in bed together, Reborn's wrist chained to the bed post.

Skull says nothing for a long moment.

Reborn slowly turns to stare at him.

"Fuck!" Skull says in realisation. "I was the stalker all along."

"I'm reconsidering getting dinner," Reborn admits.

Skull jolts in shock. "No! I swear, I don't even have a basement!"

Reborn purses his lips. "Well okay, but if Fon doesn't hear back from me every two hours, he's sending Kyouya after you."

Skull smiles happily. "Can I call you my boyfriend?"

"That depends, can I drive your car?"

It takes Skull far too long to answer that and Reborn is grumpy all the way to the restaurant until Skull just orders everything off the menu and hand feeds Reborn all the best bits.


.

Other story lines within this one:

1. Skull wins best new actor award and Reborn refuses to attend the ceremony.

2. Fon and Kyouya finally star in a movie together. It's pretty traumatic.

3. When Reborn gets bored he'll stage a dramatic breakup and run off to another Arcobaleno.

4. Who then foist Reborn back off onto Skull as soon as possible.

5. Reborn does get actual stalkers.

6. Verde is definitely the bad guy in that scenario.