Leo's phone dinged later that night, and gently prying himself away from Raphael, he picked it up off of the dresser, read the message, got up and headed to the dojo, where he knew he would have privacy. After switching on the light, he made a call. "Lotus, I thought I was clear in the text that we're done."
"I got that part, but why?" Lotus asked. "Is it something I've done?"
"It's not you, Lotus. It's me. My feelings have changed and I can't be with you. I wish you…"
"Is there someone else?" Lotus asked jealously, her voice rising.
"Yes. Look, I never meant…."
"You cheated on me, Leonardo!" Lotus screamed. "How could you when I've always been faithful? Who did you bed? Was it April? That weird Alopex I met once? Who? I deserve to know!"
"I'm going to hang up now, Lotus. I'm sorry," Leo began, as a shriek echoed throughout the sewer, piercing Leo's heart. Raphael.
Leo disconnected the call and ran to his bedroom, finding Raphael curled up in a ball on the bed, his thumb in his mouth, as he whined softly, "Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me. I'll be good and do whatever ya want."
"Raph," Leo said, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's Leo. Are you okay? Talk to me, baby."
Raphael looked up and Leo saw that his face was streaked with tears and sweat beaded his forehead. "Ya weren't here when I woke up," Raphael said accusatorily, removing his thumb from his mouth. "Ya promised ya'd never leave me."
"I'm here now, baby," Leo said, sitting down, scooting closer to him and taking his hand "Did you have a nightmare?"
Nodding, Raphael trembled and said, "Yeah. I was on the roof top and Chrome Dome had his cock in me and I couldn't do nothin' 'bout it. Just lie there and take it. Fuckin' every part of me hurt. It felt so real, Leo, like he was here, ya know, and then I woke up and ya were gone."
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Leo said, and kissed his knuckles. "I had to…"
"Raphael," Splinter called from outside the bedroom. "Are you all right, my son?"
"Raph?" Mikey said, standing next to Splinter. "Bro, you okay?"
"I heard crying. Did you have a nightmare?" Don asked from beside Mikey. "Raph?"
"I'm okay. Just a nightmare," Raphael said. "Leo's here. Ya guys can go back ta sleep. Sorry for wakin' ya."
"You have nothing to apologize for, my son," Splinter said. "Know you can always talk to me."
"I'm okay, Pops, but thanks. I got Leo and he's gonna take care of me."
"In that case, come along, Donatello and Michelangelo. If Raphael wants us, he'll summon us."
XXX
"Why did ya leave me, Leo?" Raphael demanded, as he wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.
"I had to do something that was pressing. I'm sorry."
"If ya don't wanna be with me, just go ahead and say it, okay? I wouldn't wanna be with me either. Mr fuck up, used piece of trash that I am. Tell me now, before things go too far and don't feel like ya gotta be with me and help me if there are babies. They ain't yer problem. They're mine and mine alone…."
"Whoa!" Leo said and placed a finger on Raphael's lips, preventing him from speaking further. "You're not used trash. You're not trash. Period. I do want to be with you and the babies are ours to look after. I'm not with you out of pity. I love you, Raphael. Every inch of you. From your stunning green eyes, right down to your cute little butt and tail and I want to spend my life with you." Raphael blushed and Leo added, "I love your fiery nature, your sarkiness, your smile, your devotion to our family and I could go on forever how incredible you are. I'm sorry I left you, but it was necessary."
"Why?" Raphael asked, removing Leo's finger. "If ya love me so damn much, why did ya leave me? What would be so urgent in the damn middle of the night?"
"I called Lotus and reiterated that we were done. She didn't take it well and believes I cheated and I let her think so. Who cares what she thinks anyway? All that matters is you, takara. Only you. Now and forever. I'm going to take good care of you and show you how amazing you are."
Raphael smiled and opened his arms. Leo pulled him close and hugged him tightly and Raphael said, as he buried his nose in Leo's neck, "Never leave me again, Leo. Please. I feel stronger with ya and I couldn't do this alone."
"I'll never leave you," Leo said and nuzzled Raphael's cheek. "Never. When you feel better, we're going to go somewhere wonderful. Just you and I."
"Ya mean like a couples' vacation?" Raphael asked, when they'd pulled apart.
"Exactly that," Leo said, while thinking, that'll be weird. Me and Raph alone together romantically in a foreign place.
"I'd like that. I'm sure we'll get alone time here, but outta the lair with just us and more privacy, would be great, but sex…..I'm not ready for that yet, Leo. I'm sorry."
"That's all right," Leo said, internally relieved. The idea of mating with his brother still repulsed him. "There's no rush. Just focus on getting better and know I'm here with you. Always."
"But ya should know I'm a horn dog when I'm up ta it, Leo."
"But you only had sex once."
"Yeah, but I still have a high sex drive and masturbate, Leo."
I don't want to hear this, Leo thought. Changing the subject, he said, "Think you can sleep now, Raph?"
Raphael chuckled and Leo said, "What's so funny?"
"Ya. Ya don't like talkin' 'bout sex, do ya? Come on, Leo. If we're gonna be together, that's gonna eventually happen, ya know, and couples talk 'bout it and what they want. What their kinks are. Ya have kinks, Leo?"
"Kinks?"
"Quirks. Things ya'd like ta do."
"Oh. I don't know. Do you?"
"Bondage might be fun …."
"But you're not up to sex."
"No, but I'm gonna work at myself, so I will want it, because I know ya will never hurt me. I trust ya, Leo."
"Raph, even if you never want sex, that's okay. Relationships aren't just about sex."
"I know that, but sex is a huge part of them and helps couples grow even closer. There's nothin' more intimate than a cuddle after a good round of sex, or so I've read anyway. Didn't happen ta me. Donnie ran away when he saw what I am, but I think it could be like that with us. Ya need ta loosen up, Leo. It's okay ta discuss feelings and sex, especially with yer mate."
"I'll try."
"Hey, did Mikey regret things with ya?"
"Yes."
"So I don't gotta worry 'bout no rivals. What 'bout Lotus? Will she be vengeful?"
"Lotus will soon meet someone else, I'm sure and you don't have to worry. My heart belongs to you, stud."
Raphael grinned and leant in for a deep and sensual kiss, his hand resting on Leo's knee. "How was that?" Raphael asked, when they'd pulled apart.
"You're an amazing kisser," Leo said, and he really did mean it, but he was still unsure about his feelings for Raphael. Could I really love him for real, Leo thought? He deserves love and I'm going to try. He needs me. No going back now. I can't do that to him.
"What ya thinkin', baby?" Raphael said. "Ya look distant."
"Just how happy I am. In this moment and how gorgeous you look. You're like an oil painting. Mine. So magnificent. A masterpiece. Gruff exterior, but gooey like a marshmallow beneath."
Raphael laughed and said, "Ya ain't so bad yerself, handsome. Thank ya, Leo. For bein' with me, lovin' me and helpin' me. I am grateful."
"It's what bro….mates do," Leo said, and cupped his cheek. "I have your back, Raphael. For life. Now, let's get some sleep unless you need anything else?"
"Just ya," Raphael said, and stifled a yawn.
Leo kissed him gently and they lay down, snuggled close, Raphael's arms around him, his head nestled in the crook of Leo's neck. Leo kissed the top of his head and whispered, "Love you, Raphie."
"Love ya too, Leo," Raphael yawned, and closed his eyes.
Not long after, Raphael was fast asleep, and, as Leo watched him and silent tears ran down his face, he thought, Lotus, I hope one day you understand that I had no choice. Raph needed me and family always comes before everything else. Even love.
