Leo sucked in a deep breath, took Raphael's hands and said, as he gazed into his emerald eyes, "Raph, I do feel guilty about the events on the rooftop, but that's not why I'm with you. I would never be with someone just to make them feel better. That's not my style. I'm with someone, because I cherish, respect and adore them. And that's how I feel about you. I always have. It just took that kiss on the rooftop to make me accept my feelings. I've denied them for years. I've been in love with you, since I was thirteen, but I was afraid to say anything. Partly, because I feared Dad's wrath and also because I thought you didn't feel the same way."
"So…."
"Let me finish. Our kiss was electric and sent tingles down my spine and it made me realize I'd never really loved Lotus, because our kisses weren't that hot and hers were more sisterly. I got scared and ran off, but when I arrived home, I realized I was being an idiot and I had to come to terms with my feelings for you and had to be honest. I vowed to tell you and I'm so glad I did, because I've wasted so much time with someone I didn't really love, when you were always there. You're the most magnificent person I've ever known, Raph. You're courageous, brave, loving, adorable, passionate and feisty. You're the complete package and you complete me. I've grown up repressing my feelings, but you give me the confidence to express them. You make me a better man. You always have. I was a fool not seeing that earlier. You turn me on. My shell's always tight when I'm around you and…"Leo blushed and added, "I can't wait until we're physically bonded as well and I can shower you with all the adoration you deserve. I want to make love to you and make you feel good and for you to forget what that bastard did to you on the roof top. I want your babies and I want to spend my life by your side, because I'm nothing without you. Raphael, you're my heart. Why would I lie about any of this? You know I never do anything lightly and you know I adhere by the Correct Heart. I would never deceive you, especially not about loving you, my takara."
"So Mikey was lyin'?" Raphael asked, his face softening.
"Yes. He clearly has jealousy issues and is causing trouble. I'll talk to him. I'm yours and it's not out of pity and guilt. I adore you. I always will," Leo said, mentally vowing to throttle Mikey for stirring up shit.
Raphael smiled, visibly reassured, touched his temple to Leo's and said, "I adore ya too. I believe ya, Leo. Ya do have a strict honor code and ya'd never lie ta me. Yer conscience wouldn't allow ya ta. Is Mikey gonna cause more shit?"
"Nope. I said I'll talk to him and I'll get him to apologize to you too. Mikey's bitter, but he'll have to get used to us being mates, because I'm not giving you up. Not ever."
"Ditto," Raphael said and raised his head. "Does that mean I can move into yer room today?"
"Of course you can," Leo said and lifted his head. "Our room. I'll move you now if you want."
"Yeah. I want. Hey, Leo?"
"Yes, my darling?"
"It ain't yer fault. Never blame yerself. I shouldn't have gone out that night and I shoulda gone home with ya, but I was an obstinate shit. Ya were only bein' my big brother and I was bein' an asshole. It's my fault. I deserved it."
"No, Raph. You didn't deserve it. No one deserves to be violated in that way. Those bastards are to blame and we'll get our revenge. I promise you. Shredder will feel the full weight of our wrath. Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing to warrant such abuse."
"I look forward ta that day. Knowin' he's offa the streets and can't hurt no one else will give me some peace of mind. I wanna ram my sai up his fuckin' ass and him ta feel what he did ta me! I want him ta fuckin' feel powerless and weak and know ain't no one gonna come ta his defence. I fuckin' hate him." Raphael balled his hands in to fists and said furiously, his green eyes flashing, "I want him so fucked up, he'll beg for death. I want him ta hurt in every office and my face ta be the last one he sees before he expires. I'm gonna fuck him up so badly, Leo."
"I'll help you, angel. You know that. Sh. Let's go to my room. Do you think you can walk?"
"Leo, I know ya don't agree with murder. I can do it on my own or with Casey and…"
"Raph, you're not alone. I'll help you. You're my mate and I want him to pay for all he did to you. I want him to suffer and to pay the ultimate price. He deserves no mercy and he'll get none."
"Thank ya, Leo. I appreciate it. Is it normal ta feel a mixture of emotions? I alternate between depression, sadness and rage."
"Yes, Raph. It's part of the healing process. It was extremely traumatic and you're doing fine, my love. It's early days, but I believe you'll make a full recovery. Mentally, physically and emotionally. And I'll be here every step of the way. I'll be your strength when you feel weak. I'll be your crutch. Just like you've always been mine."
Raphael's eyes misted over and he said, "How did I get so blessed ta have ya?"
"Au contraire. I'm the lucky one," Leo said and kissed his knuckles.
Raphael blushed and said, "Leo, what if I freeze up?"
"What do you mean?"
"When ya touch me and try ta make love ta me."
"Oh. Then we'll wait until you're ready. Relax, Raph. We have the rest of our lives and besides, our love isn't purely about sex. You don't need sex to be happy, do you?"
"But it's part of a lovin' relationship."
"Yes. But I'm not going to leave you if we don't have sex, my love. I'll wait until you're ready and I still won't leave you if that doesn't happen. I promise. So stop fretting."
"Thank ya. I appreciate yer patience. I'm ready ta go ta yer room. I think I can walk. Don't pick me up. I ain't no baby."
"As stubborn as ever."
"It ain't 'bout that," Raphael said, removing the covers and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I've been through hell and back, Leo, and I wanna assert myself. I wanna prove ta myself I can still do things on my own. Walkin' on my own is the first step. I'm so grateful ya love me and wanna help, but ya don't gotta do everythin', Leo. There are some things I need ta do on my own."
"I understand, little…."
"Leo, we're mates now. Little brother isn't appropriate. It's Raph, Raphael or whatever endearment ya wanna call me, okay? Can ya imagine if we make love and ya say 'little bro, I'm gonna cum'? That'll kill my erection fast!"
Leo chuckled and said, "I understand, Raphie. Sorry. Habit."
Raphael gingerly stood up and quickly sat down, still feeling weak. "Shit!" he said in dismay.
"What, baby?"
"Nothin'," Raphael said, determined to walk. "I'm just takin' a breather." He rose again and took a tentative step, testing his legs. Seeing he wasn't going to keel over, he said, "What are ya waitin' for, Fearless? Let's go."
"Do you want to hold my hand?"
"Nope. I got this. Just walk beside me. It ain't far ta yer room."
"You're so brave, Raph."
"I gotta be, Leo. Shredder will win if I crumble and I ain't gonna let that happen."
Raphael slowly walked towards Leo's room, the leader close behind him.
XXXX
They arrived in Leo's room and Raphael climbed into bed and pulled the covers over him. "Better," Raphael said, looking around. "I love this. Can we paint the walls? They look so plain. Can I bring my stuff in here, Leo?"
"Of course. This is your room too. I want you to feel happy and comfortable, so make any changes you like."
"Cool. Are ya gonna snuggle with me? I hate when I'm alone."
Leo sighed internally. He was emotionally drained and wanted time to himself. Well, after he'd clobbered Mikey. And now Raphael wanted to cuddle. Am I ever going to get me time, Leo wondered?
"I was going to meditate and I have things to plan for your birthday, Raphie."
"Ya don't gotta get me nothin'. I already said yer more than enough."
"Don't be absurd. You're my precious lover and I want to spoil you." Impulsively, Leo went to his dresser and pulled out a small box. He handed it to Raphael and said, "Open it."
Raphael did and his jaw dropped. The most exquisite emerald necklace he'd ever seen was inside. "It's beautiful, Leo. Thank ya. I love it," Raphael said, his eyes shining in happiness.
Leo placed it around his neck and said, "Perfect fit. It's a promise necklace, Raphie. A promise that I'll always love and honor you. And I'll be faithful. This is a Claddagh necklace and is pure gold. It caught my eye and I had to have it. I had some money and it looks stunning on you."
"It's gorgeous," Raphael enthused and kissed him on the lips. "Thank ya. I'm never gonna take it off! Thank ya, baby. What's the origin of the Claddagh?"
"You're welcome, my sweetheart. The Claddagh's the most popular piece of traditional Irish jewelry and its origins lie in the Galway fishing village in seventh century Ireland. It became popular for the beauty and meaning of the design. The hands represent friendship, the heart love and the crown loyalty."
"So romantic," Raphael said and beamed. "I'm blown away. Thank ya. I'm gonna treasure it always."
"My pleasure. We can use Claddagh rings when we have our ceremony if you like. It'll be different. They have the most incredible designs. We can have April's help to have them custom made for our large fingers."
"Cool. I love that idea. I'm so happy, I could burst. Thank ya. How did ya get the money? I don't wanna be nosy, but this musta cost a tidy sum."
"I helped April with her college work. I typed up her projects and did some of them, giving her more free time."
"Baloney. There ain't no way ya could afford this expensive piece with money for writin' papers. What did ya do, Leo?"
"It's the truth, Raph. I swear. She paid me and she inherited a large amount from an aunt of hers. She gave me a hundred grand. She has cash for you, Don and Mikey too, but it's going to be handed out at Christmas. I wasn't supposed to say, so act like you don't know. I saw this necklace and she saw how much I admired it and gave me my money now. I don't regret splurging. It looks fantastic on you and brings out your gorgeous eyes."
"I hope ya ain't lyin' ta me, Leo, because I couldn't keep this if ya attained it dishonorably."
"I know, but I'm not lying. You can ask April if you don't believe me. I have to go. Things to plan. Get some rest, my treasure. I'll see you soon. I'm so happy you like your first present."
"First?"
"Yes. I told you that I'm going to spoil you," Leo said and winked. He bent down, kissed Raphael on the lips and added, "Keep the bed warm, my handsome angel. I love you."
"Love ya too, baby. Thank ya for everythin'."
Leo left, closing the door behind him and thought, that necklace was meant for Lotus, but he doesn't have to know that. Anyway, she's gone, so he may as well have it. It does suit him. Now to plan Raph's dinner and beat the crap out of Mikey.
Leo headed to Mikey's room and said in his most authoritative tone, "Michelangelo, open the damn door. I want to talk."
A/N Mikey's in for it now. What will Leo do? And has Lotus given up on Leo?
The Claddagh is stunning. I have an emerald gold plated one I bought in Limerick, Ireland. :)
