Chapter Five

Rodolphus wrapped his arms around me the minute I fell back into our sheets. He could tell from my scent that it had been, "the night" and did only his best in order to comfort me. Gently he kissed my cheek and spooned himself against my back. My arms moved to his and held him close, I closed my eyes and sighed. The deed was done, and all I wanted to do was sleep, but my insides wouldn't allow me. I crawled out of bed, removing pieces of clothing and leaving a trail along the floor up to the bathroom. I brought my shaking tired legs into the cool dim room and climbed into the shower. My hands reached blindly in the dark, groping for the handles, then rewarding my search with a gushing splash of hot water against my face. I felt it cascade against my breasts, stomach, thighs.. it's heat stinging , yet soothing my bruises and cuts previous and new. My hands pressed against the shining black tiles, feeling cold against heat.. I didn't know what was happening, but I felt so trashy and disgraceful. I betrayed and abandoned the one I love too many times, to make it worse, it made me feel low (and that isn't easy). Rodolphus was the only man in my life that made me feel like more than just a servant to my lord, and more than just a wife and lover. And to realize I did something so deceitful and worth of condemn made me feel worse than anything, any pain, any spell, any bruise or cut, or any life sucking grasp of a dementor..

I felt arms, a chest, and lips on the back of my neck. I turned around, finding the lips I wished only to taste, feeling the slowness of passion creep over that lustful desire held for him. He pressed my back against the tile and nuzzled against my neck. His fingers tugging at my hair, stroking my flesh. He took a cloth, warming it under the spilling showerhead, then bringing it against my sex, stroking inward inside of me, erasing that venomous man from my walls. I cooed only in response of his touch, holding him closely, letting our bodies tingle with our steamed waterfall. Gently he brought my hips up against his own, stroking and cleaning any essence of evil away that may have remained. He removed the rag and replaced it with his arousal, our lips met, and soon did our organs; I felt more relief than a shower could provide. It was slow, and remained slow. Our ears to our lips, gasps, a chorus of moans, sweet, choked back sobs drowned out the pounding of the water against our bath.

" Rodolphus... " I whimpered, returning his movements only slightly. I felt tears rush from my cheeks, blaming it on the shower, but blaming myself for what I had done to him. I kissed his earlobe, grasping onto him tightly, whispering through a throat choked only by my pain..

"I'm sorry.."

I felt him shudder with the same feelings, feeling his warm tears against my cheek, his lips stroking my skin... "My Bellatrix... "

"My Rodolphus.. "

It was Christmas, Narcissa came over with Draco; the Malfoy Manor being on watch for Draco or Snape. We had a small dinner by Rodolphus' making, exchanged gifts and talk. Narcissa dragged me into the kitchen, helping me clean..in her words, in reality, she meant stand against the counter and watch me wash dishes while asking overly detailed questions about Voldemort, and you-know-what. I told her of the flashbacks I had, and how weird it was to hear our mother and my nephew as a child. And I told her of the guilt I felt, and the time spent with my true lover against the black tiles of our bathroom. We poured some wine and took the glasses out to the living room, lifting our glasses for the new year, my final drink, and the Lord's success.

The new year began and everything else had too. I was pregnant, and everything that went along with that blessing began. It was fortunate to have a husband with a vast knowledge of potions, he helped with the sicknesses and baby's growth. My health wasn't up to par when it came to incubating a child, thanks to Azkaban, so he also assisted with my health to ensure the child were to be healthy as well. I was showing, but only slight, and to keep it from the rest of the world, I wore one of Rodolphus' sweat shirts. It was a whole new year, but nothing changed, well, outside of my uterus that is. A mass break out at Azkaban occurred, sending Aurors into a frenzy. It was fortunate our home was almost in the middle of no where, and had the appearance of an abandoned rundown house, a nice little spell helped with that, so Rodolphus and I weren't in any harm. At least, for now..

Harry Potter grew closer and closer to finding his prey, and the Lord Voldemort was boosting moral and sending them into back-breaking assignments just so they were ready for a little sixteen year old twit. It was one day that Rodolphus and I were browsing shops, that we heard his familiar little voice accompanied by his two little friends, whispering, shouting, everything incoherent, but we knew that the time was short. I was fortunately back into the game, I knew he wouldn't leave me to suffer this horrendous thing without any work. I just hoped that once I turned into a watermelon, that I wouldn't be completely unable to work. He was going to make sure I was at his side during the fight though, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Meetings were held almost frequently now, the Dark Lord grew anxious and impatient. It was hard to tell, but you could somewhat see that he was growing sick from waiting for this little brat to fight him. He did not lose his cool, he remained the suave man I always knew him as, but when his likeness is growing inside of you, it isn't hard to notice something was wrong. After countless arguments over my health, Rodolphus gave up in trying to keep me away from my work. I was already three months, and the child was pretty much developed, it just needed to grow. Any auror would have taken a clear shot as not to completely kill me, but in this case, anything could have been done to kill me. I was already protecting my child, my guard was half down for myself. As far as I was concerned the only self was this child and I wasn't going to put my health at risk sitting around making myself ill, that would have done even more damage than going out and being active. Fuck, the baby is wrapped up under three layers of skin and a warm surrounding of organs and tissue. It was fine, I didn't need any discouragement.

But I was worried..

One night I found myself trapped in a room of black, red was gliding around me like silky scarves being carried away in the wind. It was incredibly cold, dark, lonely. I heard only a heart beat echoing from every direction, and no matter where I turned I would only wander into more of the blackened abyss. A calm slush of water gliding back and forth behind my ears blocked out any real distinguishable voices, but I heard them. Then one moment and I'm pushed into a piercing light and I couldn't tell if I was up or down, I couldn't find anything that would let me tell all reality apart. I was floating in endless white. Then I fell. I plummeted through whatever I was in at such a magnificent speed. I fell onto a giant snake and saw it wrap itself around my legs and arms. It's tail constricted my wrists and pulled me back and another rose and grabbed my ankles and held them apart, a massive clawed skeletal hand grabbed inside of me, almost wrapping its bony fingers around my torso from the inside and pulled with such a force. I screamed as I felt the ripping and dismembering of tissue and organ, feeling blood rush from between my legs, yet saw nothing in his hand nor blood flowing from his fingers. A baby wailing. I looked around frantically thinking that I had already given birth, but it just screamed and wailed. My voice was being called, the baby was screaming, the heart was pumping faster and faster as the snakes hissed and slithered themselves along my body, coating their scales in my cold sweat. I wouldn't move, I couldn't break free.

And then I woke up screaming in the middle of the night, grabbing onto my stomach and flying upward in bed. The wetness I felt from between my legs was my water breaking, nine months passed so quickly, it was as though I were a character in a story, I couldn't believe it until this very moment. Rodolphus pulled me from the bed, wrapping his arms around me. We ran outside and summoned a cab to take us to my sister's where I was to give birth with her midwife professional. Hospitals knew I was a common criminal, since their patients always told stories about what I did them, it was only safer to be with my sister. Apparating wasn't a good idea either, try giving birth while traveling at a ridiculous speed. Narcissa swept through the hallway with her gown and hair flying behind her, the doors pulled open and she assisted me and Rodolphus inside, throwing a pocket of change at the cabbie. This was it.