Chapter 12

As the screams died down, all I could find myself in was a shroud of black and gray. I felt numb, and then again, I felt pain running through my body. All I remembered was that I was laying on the cold, wet ground with my Lord's back on me, and that vengeful boy only inches away from our death. I couldn't have been dead, could I? The light came back and began to sting my closed lids, I shuffled from the light, trying to pull the cloth wrapped around my body over my head to hide from the light. I felt something touch me, and shot up, throwing my pillow across wherever I was, sitting up and holding my head in my hands. I still hadn't gathered what happened, I didn't know what was going on and lost control of my surroundings. I felt the shifting of a mattress behind me, and hands clutch my shoulders and begin to rub. I looked up, only feeling more sunlight on my eyes, and hearing a voice of my sister talking about my waking up or something. I wasn't paying attention, I still didn't know what happened. I didn't know why I couldn't see completely, and why everything was so bright and irritating to my eyes. "It's just amazing you got out of that alive, Bellatrix, so close to the Death Curse, and yet missing being hit by only a few inches. I've heard cases of it traveling through two people, but I guess Harry's release wasn't strong enough." I'm alive?

"Rodolphus is fine, and so is little Cassie. She's just a little upset because she hasn't seen her mommy awake yet." Cissa continued to talk, pulling my hair back and beginning to brush it. "Well now that you're awake I guess it's okay for them to come in, right?" She was about to go, I grabbed hold of her wrist and squeezed tight.

"No." I heard my own voice for the first time in a while. It was a relief, that I was alive, to be speaking and breathing and hearing, but I wasn't sure about one other thing. "My eyes.. " She sat infront of me, feeling the mattress give a few inches away. Her hand touched my cheek, stroking against my skin. "Why is everything so sensitive? I can't... Cissa...what happened?"

"I just told you." She sounded upset..

"I know Rodolphus is fine, and I'm just relieved that Cassandra is fine, but why haven't you told me about what happened to me?" Was she afraid I couldn't handle whatever happened? I went through Azkaban for Merlin's sake. I could take a little bad news, couldn't I?

"...You were so close to the release of his spell, the power, the brightness, it ...blinded you." She shivered, I sat there, I didn't believe her and began to laugh. "The doctors told us you were going to be fine, they said though that there's only a chance of your sight returning.. A slight chance, just because you were so close. I should grab your bandages so the sun won't bother you." She got up, I heard her footsteps, and she returned, holding my hair up, wrapping the bandages around my eyes and laying my hair back along my spine. I still wouldn't believe her.

"All the magic in the world and they can't help blindness? Hah." I stood, grabbing onto the bedpost, furrowing my brows at the cloth on my eyes. "..I'm not letting myself become vulnerable from this. I don't want a cane, I don't want a dog, and I certainly don't want any help, you know that, right Cissa? And if this is infact permanent, don't you ever cripple me and tell me I can't do. Now, what house are we in?"

"..It's my house, Bella. You're in the guest room." Hell. This wasn't going to be fun, I had to guess my way around until I was out into a more familiar area. As I walked, I heard the mumbling of voices from a room nearby. My hands felt the walls, I picked up on the vibrations and found my way to the door handle, opening it and going inside. Cassandra squealed, and Rodolphus was heard running over, and his arms smacked me into a huge hug. I could only hug him back, holding him tightly, listening to his sighs of relief. I wasn't sure if I should have been completely relieved myself, however. I sat down, Cassandra was handed to me, and I felt her little hands grasp and pull at my hair.

"We couldn't go home, since the death of Voldemort, the ministry knows that his followers are going to be weaker without their Lord, and are capturing every last follower. Cissa is keeping us here for now, since Lucius was caught...again.. they have no point in coming here." Rodolphus spoke, stroking my hair. It was later that night, everyone had gone away, assuming I still needed time to heal. I felt fine, it was my eyes who were the lazy ones.

"I hate this." I muttered.

"We'll be fine."

"I hate this. Not staying in hiding, not no longer having the Dark Lord..."

"Bellatrix.."

"I lost control."

"You're not totally incapable."

"I can't see. I have to feel for everything and if I don't find it I'm always helped."

"You don't want help?"

"Since when did I ever want help? I never had help with anything in my life and grew up to be as I am now...well.. as I was."

"It isn't permanent." He wrapped his arms around me.

"I don't care. I'm not seeing things now, it scares me more than if it were to be permanent."

He stroked my hair and laid me back in bed, the bandages came off my eyes, I laid with them closed. "Even if it were permanent, I wouldn't ever let that handicap you."

"That isn't the point! I need to see. I need to have my senses complete, I want control of my environment and I need it to be possible by the aid of vision!"

"That isn't all that's bothering you."

I choked on my words.. "I won't see Cassandra grow."

"You'll get better." He laid his head in my lap, I felt his warm breath along my inner thigh and his soft hair tickling my stomach. My fingers stroked through his hair idly. "It'll take some time."

"I don't want, some time, in, some time, I would have missed so much. Just use some magic or something! A potion, a spell, please.. I can't do this. " He held my hands, still keeping himself where he was as we began to fall asleep.

The Daily Prophet reported that it was over. Voldemort was finished, the war was over, and it was thanks to the young hero Harry Potter, who too had died in the fight. While on the quest for the last horcrux, all along it was his scar. He had to be finished himself, to put a complete stop to all the madness. It was Rodolphus who did it.

My vision returned, the reconstruction of homes and families began. The old Death Eaters were captured and placed through reeducation programs, I guess the "noble deed" of my husband and me have spared us the torment. I don't know what happened to me, as you're probably wondering. If I turn good, if I begin the next reign of pureblood purity. Hah, don't get me wrong, I still hold my standards high against anyone unpure, I'm not going to become some muggle-loving hippy who will work at homeless shelters to redeem myself as a human being. Fuck that, I'm Bellatrix Black Lestrange. I'm working as a bar-wench, and I proudly wear my Dark Mark with short sleeved shirts, kissing my old wanted posters, fuck the filthy looks and death threats, I say.

My daughter will be attending a McGonagall ran Hogwarts, with Harry as a hero in every conversation in the halls. She will be Slytherin, no doubt. She is a strong witch, I can feel it.

It scares me.