Author's note- Well, here it is! And longer, too!

Disclaimer: I do not own Pendragon. (And if you didn't know that, you MIGHT want to get your head checked!)

The Traveler Company Picnic!

Yes, it was that time again. Time for the Traveler's annual Company Picnic and, as always, the alocoytes came, too. This year, it was going to be held on Quillian. Saint Dane was in charge of the festivities. Poor Bobby.

As people began to arrive, Saint Dane put on some music. It was some what similar to elevator music. Everyone's ears started to bleed.

Writhing in pain, Loor managed to croak, "Make... it... STOP!" Saint Dane just laughed.

Nevva, taking pity on Loor slapped Saint Dane and yelled, "Is that any way to treat guests!"

Reluctantly, Saint Dane turned the music off. Nevva was then awarded 'Traveler of the Year.' (Even though she turned evil... But what does that matter?)

Then, Bobby showed up with Courtney and Mark. Bobby, seeing the clowns EVERYWHERE, went into a panic attack and crawled into a corner, sucking his thumb.

Spader remarked, seeing this pathetic Bobby crying for his mommy, "What a loser. This is the guy with the fate of Halla resting on his shoulders!"

Courtney squealed. "Saint Dane! What's UP girlfriend!" She ran over to him and hugged him. While she was hugging him, she slipped a shock collar around his neck. Nevva, seeing this (The hug, not the shock collar!) jumped off the deep end and stared to attack Courtney. "Back off, Barbie!"

"Since when was Saint Dane a girl or Courtney's friend? Does he even HAVE friends...?" questioned Mark. Saint Dane jumped on him, and all Halla broke loose.

Bobby got trampled, but was too comatose too care. Loor, who just liked fighting, started to club the nearest person, who happened to be Patrick. Alder was stuffing his face full of finger sandwiches, (Which he brought along after discovering the wonderful food at the tea party!) and watching the commotion like a sports game. Spader had joined Bobby in the corner after receiving a hard kick to the place you're not supposed to kick (But do anyway for fun!) from Loor.

All of a sudden, Gunny made grand entrance with fireworks and sparklers, but only Alder saw it. Gunny sighed and joined him at the food table.

Then Courtney decided to carry out her genius plan. "Orlando Bloom!" She yelled, pressing the remote controlling Saint Dane's shock collar. Everyone froze. Even Nevva, who was about to throw a tomato at Mark, stopped and stared. Courtney frowned, and pressed the button again. Nothing happened. "What? Darnnit, I just put batteries in this thing today!" she said, hitting the button repeatedly.

Saint Dane sighed and grabbed the controller from her. He flipped it over and switched the batteries around, mumbling, "Minus to minus, plus to plus... There!" and handed the controller back to Courtney.

"Don't you think I would have checked that!" She said, but still tried the button. Sainted Dane screamed like a little girl. "Hey... thanks!" Courtney said, grinning.

"Now, turn into Orlando Bloom!" She yelled, pressing the button. Saint Dane screamed again. "Who is- Ahhh!" He yelled, as Courtney pushed the button again. "Now!" she cackled. "What does he even look- Ahhh? Can I have a pic- Ahh!" He yelled, and fell to the ground, twitching as electric sparks radiated from the collar. Courtney sighed and fished out a crumpled picture of Orlando Bloom from her jean pocket. She always had a handy picture in case an opportunity such as this arose. God, he was hot... Back to the story.

Aja and Evangeline walked in, with a big bucket full of blue gloid in hand. Bobby was just coming out of his self-induced coma, but when he saw the blue gloid, he screamed and started sucking his thumb once again. They both stared at the scene: Saint Dane, writhing in pain on the floor, wearing some sort of collar emitting bizarre blue sparks. Bobby and Spader, curled up into balls, whimpering in the corner. Courtney, drooling over a crumpled picture of some extremely sexy guy. Patrick, unconscious from a fatal blow to the head from Loor. Alder and Gunny, watching the whole thing while eating finger sandwiches. Loor and Saagni, high-fiving each other. Mark, bored with the whole scene, playing a Nintendo DS in the corner. Nevva, pelting an unaware Courtney with rotten tomatoes. Where is she getting these tomatoes? Hallla will never know. Maybe the tomatoes know... We should ask them. Back to the story... Again.

Courtney started to choke on her drool, Mark ran out of batteries and had forgotten his charger, Nevva ran out of tomatoes, Spader recovered, Patrick regained consciousness, Alder and Gunny ran out of food, Loor and Saagni's hands were sore, and Aja and Evangeline had fled the scene.

Since the picnic (If you could call it that; who has a picnic inside!) was pretty much ruined, everyone decided to go home. Nevva, dragging a weeping Saint Dane, gave Courtney the evil eye and left. Courtney and Mark also had to drag thumb-sucking Bobby back to the flume. Loor and Saagni went back home to kill something, since the picnic was a bust. Gunny and Spader left, to wherever they came from, and Alder snagged two last finger sandwiches; one for Queen Kagan, one for himself.

Once everyone was gone, Number Fourteen came in to clean up.

While he was mopping up some tomatoes, Press stuck his head in. "Where'd everybody go?" Then he looked at Number Fourteen. "Got any scones?"