Chapter 2: Wear the Mask

The only other time Jess had anything to do with a wedding was when he walked his mother down the makeshift aisle. Immediately following that, he was able to sit down. He liked that better than this. He stood to Luke's right; behind him were Jackson and Kirk. Lorelai was waiting at the back of the room with her father, Lane, Sookie and Rory. He felt like everyone's eyes were on him, which he knew was ridiculous but he hated being up there in front of everyone.

The minister cleared his throat and the room quieted, giving him their undivided attention.

"This is the rehearsal dinner. We've had the dinner and now we'll rehearse. Sound good?" Variations of "yes" sounded in the room. "Good, now we should be able to do this quickly and if Lorelai doesn't act up, we should be done in about thirty minutes."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, Lorelai. First, the bridesmaids. Count ten first steps, Sookie and then start after Lane. Rory, count ten and follow after Sookie. Good, good."

"She didn't get accepted into Yale for nothing!" Lorelai joked. The minister frowned and Lorelai bowed her head. "Sorry, sorry."

"Okay, Rory stand there. Lane and Sookie, step back about two. There we go. The music starts and…the music starts. Oh, for the love of- Patty! Patty!"

Patty turned from Logan and smiled, embarrassed. "My mistake."

The music filled the room and the minister continued, "Lorelai, you're on the wrong side."

"I like this side. It's my good side."

"Lorelai…"

"My goodness, you're pushy for a man of God!" Lorelai let go of her father's arm and moved around him, taking his right arm.

"That wasn't so difficult, now was it?"

"I have a feeling we're in for a long night," Rory said to Luke.

He could only sigh and nod his head in response.


After the rehearsal was over, Luke and Jess went to Luke's apartment. Jess was putting fresh sheets on his old bed when Luke walked in with two beers. He set one down on the table for Jess and took a sip from his own. Jess nodded in thanks and continued with what he was doing. Luke knew that Jess had met Logan and he didn't know what Jess was feeling. He suspected Jess was surprised, maybe feeling a bit depressed but he wasn't showing it and he wasn't talking.

"You want to talk about it?" He figured he had to at least try.

"About what?" Jess finished with the bed and took a sip of his beer. Luke raised his eyebrows in such a classic Luke way that Jess couldn't help but smile a little. "He seems decent."

"He's a good guy…"

"But?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Luke, you didn't have to say anything more than what you did. What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know if he's good enough for her."

"Would anyone be?" Jess waited a beat and said, "Don't answer that. Your judgement is obviously clouded. I'm not good for her. I never was."

"You never got her arrested or almost got her to leave school."

"Rory wouldn't…" Jess studied his uncle more closely and knew it to be true. "Lorelai didn't ban him for life?"

"She's still not thrilled with him but Rory-"

"Thinks she loves him, right?" Jess interrupted. "Good for her. She deserves to be happy."

"So do you, Jess."

"Look, I didn't come here for that. I came for you. She can do whatever she wants. She always did."

"But, maybe-"

"No, Luke. No. You remember how you felt when Lorelai's parents butted into your relationship? I'm not doing that. Not to her. Not again."

Luke sat on the edge of the bed and sipped his beer. Jess sat next to him and sighed. What did Luke want from him? Did he really think that Jess would come back to town and presto! Rory would fall out of love with her boyfriend? It was enough to make Jess laugh if it didn't depress him so much. He should have known that there would be someone new. There had to be someone new. Their relationship (what relationship?) would never run smoothly. It never had and it was apparent that it never would. There were always too many obstacles, too many issues and too much silence. He didn't deserve another chance, in any event. He had his opportunity. He wasted it.

"How's that girl? What was her name?"

"Pam? Gone. It didn't work out," Jess answered.

"They never work out."

"I guess I'm just not a relationship kind of guy." Jess faked a yawn and stretched his arms over his head. "Man, I'm beat."

"That hasn't improved any in five years," Luke said with a smile. "Early day tomorrow anyway. We should be going to bed."

"I think I'm going to take a walk."

"You were just so 'beat'."

"I need to clear my head. I'll be back in about an hour." Jess put on his jacket and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'd never be able to sleep with…I don't think I would sleep if I tried right now."

"Sure, Jess. No problem."

Luke watched as his nephew left the apartment and he felt worse now that he said something. He knew that Rory wouldn't just jump into Jess's arms because he came back to town but he wanted Jess to at least try and talk some sense into the girl. Granted, he didn't like Logan and he certainly didn't like how Rory acted since she had started dating him but he always held out hope that Jess and Rory could work out their differences. Even if they couldn't be romantically involved, they could at least be friends.

What troubled Luke the most was how Lorelai felt about her daughter's relationship. The two of them had fought over the subject of Logan on more than one occasion and it caused a definite strain between them. Lorelai was afraid that she had lost Rory to the Dark Side where her parents lived and she would never be the same again. Luke tried to explain that maybe Rory just needed to experience that life for a while but she would eventually realize that it wasn't for her.

Then Logan popped the question and since then things hadn't been any better. The two women put on their act when around the town or when they were with Emily and Richard but even Luke could see that they weren't buying it. There was a definite shift in their opinion of Logan after Rory was arrested two years ago. They started to think about what Lorelai had told them and started to wonder if they weren't partly responsible.

Luke, for his part, tried to stay out of it. He wasn't Rory's father and couldn't pass judgement on her for finally embracing her inner kid but he was no fool. He loved her like his own and knew that no matter what she did, she could still do no wrong. However, he didn't have the same warm and fuzzy feelings for Logan. He didn't like Logan from the get-go. Of course, it could have been the circumstances in which they first met, but even given the last two years, Logan had never grown on Luke.

And, yes, he'll be the first to admit that probably no one would be good enough for Rory. And he should just be happy for her because she was happy. But Luke couldn't help wondering if she really was as happy as she proclaimed to be. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part, but he didn't see how Rory, the girl he had come to know and love like a daughter, could be truly happy without her mother's blessing. Not in the long run.


Lorelai poured a cup of coffee for herself and Rory. She handed the mug to her daughter and they stood in the kitchen of the Dragonfly, sipping their drinks. She couldn't remember the last time that it was just the two of them. Luke or Logan would always be around and if they weren't, Emily and Richard would be. How times had changed. There were things that Lorelai thought would never change and yet…nothing was the same. Try as they might, the Gilmore girls could not get back on track. Lorelai didn't understand her daughter anymore and Rory didn't understand her mother. They were at a crossroads and neither knew how to get back on the other's side.

There was a time when Rory would have been in Stars Hollow every single day before her mother's wedding. Now, she barely came once a week. Lorelai knew her world currently revolved around Logan but this was the only time she planned on getting married. She had hoped her one and only daughter would help her with all the details but it had been just her and Sookie. Even Lane helped more than Rory had. She wouldn't lie and say she wasn't hurt. This entire situation was killing her. She didn't feel this far removed from her daughter since the badness with Dean went down. That only took a summer trip to Europe to get over it.

Lorelai didn't know if she could wait any longer.

"Thanks for giving us a room, Mom."

"You don't have to thank me, Rory. Of course, you would get a room."

"At least Grama and Grampa won't be causing a scene this time, right?"

"Nope, they gladly took the Honeymoon Suite. But you know Emily, she's never happy. She still insists on calling it the Honeymoon Shed."

"Yeah, Logan was really surprised by how nice it was here. Usually, you hear inn and you think B&B."

"No, usually I hear inn and I think inn, but maybe that's just me." Lorelai walked to refrigerator, opened it and stared inside. "So, Logan's surprised by how nice of an inn your mother owns?"

Rory sighed loudly. "It wasn't meant like that. Do you have to take everything so personally?"

"Well, I don't know, Rory. Let's see, do I take it personally when someone just assumes an inn to be a bed and breakfast? Yes. Do I take it personally when your boyfriend is really surprised that it's actually nice? Yes. I'm surprised he didn't use the word rustic to describe it. That would just make it even better."

"Fiancé, Mom." Rory put her coffee cup down and folded her arms over her chest. "Logan likes it here, okay? I shouldn't have said anything."

"Why start now, Rory? You've barely said a word since he asked you to marry him."

"I didn't want to get into yet another Logan is bad for me argument. I love him."

"Uh-huh."

"And what does that mean?"

"Nothing, Rory. It means nothing. I don't want to fight with you. We have an early day tomorrow and a lot of things to do. It's best we just end this now before we each say something we regret." Lorelai closed the door of the refrigerator. She really wanted pie. She could use a piece right about now and there wasn't any to be found.

"We seem to be doing that a lot lately," Rory stated, sadly.

"Yes, we do." Lorelai wondered if this could be the opportunity to set things straight. If she could get her daughter back and marry the man she loved all within the span of twenty-four hours, she would literally be over the moon.

"Maybe you should just give him another chance. For me? What happened before is so over with. We're both different people now-"

"Rory, you're two years older. That doesn't make you different and it doesn't make you wiser. You both just graduated and now you're going to get married? Don't you want to live a little? Don't you want to see the world? What happened to Christiane Amanpour?"

"I don't think I'm cut out for it. There are other things in life, Mom. I mean, I went to Yale, right? After seventeen years of dreaming about Harvard, I changed my mind. I can change my mind about this, too."

"And do what? Be a housewife? That's not your life, Rory."

"No, that's not the life you want for me."

"Can you blame me? You've been walking around aimlessly for two years. You went back to school, thank God, but you slowly started to detach yourself from the paper, you spent more and more time with Logan. Let's be honest, Rory. You didn't exactly graduate Cum Laude."

"Whatever."

"Don't whatever me, Rory! Don't make this seem like it isn't the biggest deal there is. You have been on a path and maybe now you want to blame me for it, but it was always your path. We've all noticed you pull away from that and now you're in this world where the men work and the women keep house. Don't you remember we damned Donna Reed?"

"You look only at Grama and Grampa and see the life they lead. My life with Logan will be different."

"His family still doesn't approve of you, Rory! That will never change. They will always see you as not good enough."

"Isn't that how you see Logan?"

Lorelai huffed and leaned against the refrigerator. This wasn't her daughter. This was some pod person.

"The way I see Logan doesn't matter. He doesn't care what I think about him. But you, honey, you do care what the Huntzberger's think. You can pretend like you don't but I know you-"

"No, Mom, you knew me. I have to get out of here." Rory quickly walked to the back door and before Lorelai could stop her, she was gone.

The loud crash of the door closing echoed through Lorelai. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to them.


Rory wiped away a tear with the back of her hand. She was angry, so very angry with her mother. And she was sad, hurt. Lorelai just didn't get it and it was apparent to Rory that she never would. She couldn't stand the looks from Lorelai anymore, the tone in her voice, the way she disapproved of everything Rory wanted to do with her life. Her life. Didn't her mother always tell that she should do whatever she wanted? That she would stand by Rory whatever choice she made?

All just mouth service. Lorelai was no different than Emily now. Rory knew exactly when that all began. That night with Dean. That awful night when everything started to splinter for Rory and nothing was ever the same. Of course, she blamed herself for a lot of what happened. She was the one who slept with a married man, after all, but she expected more from her mother. She expected her best friend to understand. However, just when Rory needed her, Lorelai was her mother only and not her friend. Rory never really forgave her for that. She felt that everything she did after, she would be judged on. She slowly slipped away from her mother and Stars Hollow. It was a world in which she started to feel too constricted in. She was growing past them all and they still only saw her as who she used to be.

Logan didn't do that. Logan saw her for the woman she now was. Part of who she was now came from being with him. Sure, they had their ups and downs, but what relationship didn't? Not everything could be perfect one hundred percent of the time and if anyone should understand that, she thought it would be Lorelai. Everyone always expected her to be the same and that was their mistake. Did they think that she would go to college and not change at all? That she wouldn't broaden her horizons, try on new things and see how they fit? That was growing up and for some reason, no one around her expected her to.

She felt like she fit with Logan. She knew that his family still didn't approve of her and that was becoming more and more okay. Mitchum wasn't exactly father-in-law material but he had been honest with her. He told her straight out that she wasn't cutthroat enough for journalism and when she thought about it, really thought about it, she realized he was right. She wouldn't pretend that she wasn't devastated by this revelation but this was going to be her career. She had to pick something that she would excel at or it didn't seem worth it. When she missed a couple of meetings for the paper, Doyle and Paris both spoke to her about it. She apologized and smiled sweetly and promised to never do it again. Eventually, by the beginning of her senior year, the paper was behind her. She had to listen to a two-hour lecture from Paris about that one but she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She didn't feel so pressured.

Now the hard part of deciding what she would do. Could she continue with school or should she just try and get any old job? She knew her mother thought she had gone all Stepford but it wasn't true. Rory was merely trying things on. She was tired of being pigeonholed. She wanted different things now and it was unfortunate that Lorelai wouldn't accept that.

"Hey."

Rory turned and saw Jess standing there. Her stomach flipped, just a little, and she cursed herself. Logan was the one for her. He was. The only reason her stomach was flipping now was because she was nervous and she hadn't seen Jess in three years. She used to love him and there he was suddenly. She had no time to prepare herself. Not that she needed to do that in order to see him because she was so completely over it. She had Logan.

"Hey, yourself."

Jess looked at her in that way that made her skin tingle. Even now, she could feel the goose bumps rising and she didn't like it one bit. He was studying her, trying to read her and she wanted to just turn back around and walk away but her stupid feet wouldn't do it. She was stuck just like she used to be when he would look at her.

"Are you alright? You look like you've been crying."

"You suddenly care?" she asked, bitingly.

"I always cared, Rory."

"When it was convenient for you, Jess. I'm with someone now who-"

"Gets you arrested and had you thinking about leaving school?"

"I see no one wasted time on filling you in."

"People are just worried about you."

"People should just mind their own business, if you ask me."

"In this town? Keep dreaming."

He knew that he had been an ass and had done everything wrong but this girl was not Rory. She wouldn't have spoken to him like this before. She wouldn't have talked about the people she loved like this before. What had happened to her? When did she become bitter? When had she become a shell of who she was?

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't have anything to say. Especially to you."

"Damn, Rory, why are you being like this?"

"You want me to be nice? To welcome you back with open arms? It's not going to happen, Jess. I'm with Logan."

"You sound like a broken record. 'I'm with Logan now. I'm with Logan now'," he mocked. "I don't care who you are with. I'm just trying to figure out what the fuck happened to you in the last three years."

She shrugged. "Nothing. Maybe I just grew up."

"Yes, because you seem so mature now." He rolled his eyes at her, which made her clench her teeth in frustration. "Rory, you weren't even this mean to me when I came to Yale. So tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help."

She laughed, harsh and quick. "You think you can help me?"

"I think I could listen if you wanted to bitch."

"And that will cure me, right?"

"Either that or pulling that stick out of your ass."

"There's the Jess I knew. I knew the Boy Scout couldn't last too long."

"Jesus, Rory! What has happened to you?"

"Will you stop asking me that? Look, Jess, when you knew me, I was just a girl. Things are different now. I'm getting married to someone who loves me and will take care of me and won't just pick up and leave."

"Funny, the Rory I knew, even if she was just a girl, wouldn't depend on a man to take care of her. She had definite ideas of standing on her own and making her own life."

"Well, she didn't realize the way life works. She does now."

"The way life works is to just to 'stand by her man'?"

"And I bet you think there's something wrong with that."

"No, I don't, but I think there's something wrong with you thinking that."

"I don't need to explain myself to you, Jess. I have enough people on my case about my life; I don't need someone else who chose not to be a part of it joining in."

"You have all these people trying to tell you something and none of it is sinking in, Rory. That doesn't tell you anything?"

Rory pursed her lips and shook her head. "It tells me that the more I hear, the more I wish people would just be quiet. You don't know Logan, Jess. He's not what they say."

"He'll be at the wedding tomorrow, right?" Rory nodded her head. "Well, then I guess I'll see for myself."

"You're going to actually sit down and talk with him?" Rory asked, surprised.

"I'm hearing two different things. I'd like to see for myself." Jess smiled in a way that always made Rory feel uncomfortable. It was just too mischievous of a smile for her liking.

"Okay, if you want to…"

"Oh, I want to. I'll see you at the ceremony, Rory," Jess said and turned, walking back into town.

Rory felt side-swiped. One minute he was acting like everyone else and the next, he was willing to talk to Logan. He may have forgotten but Rory knew him better than anyone. She knew this act was just that, an act. He always loved to get under her skin and to have her start to question the things in her life. She wasn't falling for it this time. She knew his game. She knew that he only wanted her when she was with someone else. He loved chasing her and getting her. He wasn't interested in keeping her. Logan was and even if that still surprised her, it was the truth.