Chapter Five

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He doesn't know where you are. He can't do anything. As Hermione thought this she rose and dumped the untouched coffee into the bin outside. She left that place. It seemed so contaminated now. Not hers. Her mornings were the only thing Hermione had. Now she didn't even have that. She looked at her clothes and felt disgusted. Look at me! I look like a whore! Thank god Harry and Ron aren't here or they would both be killing me right now. Hermione's head seemed to be spinning as she walked into the nearest store and bought new jeans and a black shirt that said. "So my life sucks and yours doesn't." On the front and" Free me from my prison! Both body and soul." On the back. Hermione thought this seemed to reflect her well enough.

She walked purchased them and walked out and into a public restroom. She stood at the sink and washed the makeup off. She pulled her hair down and put it all up. I'm not special! What am I playing at? She walked into a stall and changed her clothes. She came out and walked over to the same mirror. She looked at herself and then pulled her sleeves up to wash her hands. Before she even turned on the water she saw her left wrist where she had cut it the night before.

"Shit!" Was all that came out. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. She almost passed out before a thought came into her mind. Well I hope I die from it. She took a closer look at the gash and saw that it had turned black and green over night. She couldn't think anymore. She turned on the spot and with a loud crack she was gone. She turned up across the street in an alleyway from St.Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. She wasn't thinking as she pulled her knife out of her bag and positioned it parallel to the way her arm was facing palm up. She drew in a breath and closed her eyes. If they save me then I know that I am supposed to be alive. If not then I know I am supposed to die. As those last thought crossed her mind she pressed and pulled the knife down her arm. She looked at the cut and saw that it reached the backside of her elbow. She clutched it to her and crossed the street. She leaned against the window and whispered to the glass.

"Help me. My arm. Help..."The she heard the voice of a worried woman.

"Yes come in dear hurry."Hermione leaned more heavily on the glass and then lost her footing she fell through it. When the ground met her she let out a yell." My dear come on. We need to get you to the healers." She hoisted Hermione up and pulled her along the hall.

"Tell Harry. Tell Harry that I'm sorry. Tell him ok." With that all went black around Hermione.

Hermione opened an eye blearily. She saw a figure sitting at the end of her bed in a chair watching her.

"Harry?" She whispered.

"No I'm not bloody Harry! Who is he your boyfriend? Another weirdo like this lot here? I'm your bloody father! Not Harry!" Hermione opened her eyes and the room came into clearer focus.

"No! Not you. You're not Harry. What are you doing here?" Hermione whispered in a voice that seemed distant from her body.

"Well I was closest see. They said you came here and then passed out so they got doctors and then searched your stuff to see if they could find out who you were. They found your ID and then sent me an owl! A FUCKING OWL! They said you were in immediate care so I came and have been here ever since!" Her Father yelled this and Hermione recoiled.

"Oh good your up! You gave us quite a scare you did. We thought we had lost you." Said the nurse that had just bustled in. She spoke in a distinctly Mrs.Weasley like tone that made Hermione let out a yelp of sorrow. "You have a visitor."

"Harry?" Hermione whispered.

"No your Mother." Said the nurse giving Hermione a puzzled expression.

"Oh...no..."Hermione's whisper died off as the door swung open and revealed her Mother looking obviously uncomfortable but even more livid.

"You are in a whole lot of trouble missy!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. The nurse looked uncomfortable and left with Hermione hearing the unmistakable sound of a door being inpruturbed.

"Am I?"

"Ohhh yeah! When you didn't show up for work your Grandmother called me and I was so worried. Then your Father called me and told me! I don't want to be here Hermione! Why did you have to screw up this family? You and your stupid magic! You don't get it! All of it is your fault! All of it!" Hermione's Mother's volume seemed to increase as she went on and by the end it seemed to be rattling the contents of the cabinet.

"Well you know what. That sucks. But I'm not sorry. Why should I be sorry for who I am? I will be of age in the wizarding world in two weeks time. Not even. But I can tell you that I am done listening to both of you. You are now going to leave this room. I will come home whenever someone says I can leave. Hopefully when I do come home it will just be to get my things then I will leave for good." As Hermione finished this she reached for her bedside table and watched her parents eyes grow large as her fingers made contact with her wand. She pointed it at the door and lifted the imperturbable charm on it the pointed it to her Mother then her Father and as fear consumed them they stood and left.

"What happened by the way?" Said her Mother in a newly adopted tone of caring.

"Well you can tell the nurse waiting outside that I was attacked by Death Eaters. Yeah tell her that I want to see her pass out." Hermione whispered trying to scare them. With that they left.

Once Hermione was sure they were gone she called in the nurse.

"Can you please send a letter to a mister Harry Potter? He is a dear friend of mine and I need to speak to him as soon as I can." Once the nurse nodded and left Hermione pulled herself out of bed and walked over to the mirror. She lifted the back of her gown and saw what she had figured. There were numerous cuts and scrapes along it. She healed them all with a flick of her wand and then laid down again. She was asleep shortly after her head hit the pillow.

She awoke a while later and saw a fuzzy outline of someone sitting at the end of her bed.

"Harry?" She whispered and filled with gratitude when the person's head shot up.

"Hermione? Are you ok? What happened? The nurse said that your Mum said something about Death Eaters before she ran off. What did you say to them and what happened?

"Well I can tell you that Death Eaters had nothing to do with what happened. But to everyone else but me and yourself they did okay?" She waited for Harry to nod before continuing.

"I want you to understand that I will never tell anyone but you what happened and you will never tell anyone either. I will only tell you if you swear this to me.

"I swear."

"Well I tried to kill myself." Hermione whispered in the same frightened voice that she had been using since she woke up.

"WHAT! WHY?" Harry yelled as he stood up.

"Well I don't even know where to start. I haven't ever told anyone so I have no clue."

"Start at the beginning."

"Well it all started with my first Hogwarts letter." Hermione explained all about how her Father had been so cruel and beaten her since then. How he made her clean and stuff. How when he found something wrong he would beat her unconscious then just leave her. "Oh then there were the nights I bought you your cards and the cakes and the sweets and the broom stick kit. Ha those were the worst. He almost killed me the night he found out about you. He hit me a few times then all I remember is the kitchen tiles and my head hurting then like all the sudden I just woke up in the hospital. That was interesting. I didn't remember what had happened till I got home and he made me clean up the blood. That was scary there was so much of it." Hermione paused here to take in what all she had told him. Then she began to explain about the divorce which she realized she had forgotten. How she had to go see her Mother in France for two months every summer. How she was just like her Father only she didn't have the guts to hit her. She had to pause every once in a while to catch her breath. Then she would continue telling her story. When she reached the part about this summer she stopped and then started again. "I hate them all so much but I can't leave for another two weeks."

"No it is only six days until your seventeenth birthday Hermione. You have been out for a week already."

"Good. I ca stay here until I'm of age then. So anyway back to the story. I cut myself a lot. I also started to smoke at the beginning of this summer. I really could use one now actually. But anyway. I cut myself really bad with this knife I had bought at the end on summer last year. In Diagon Alley, Goblin made and all that. Silver handle and stuff see." She pulled it out of her bag again. Harry gasped and took it. "Well anyway, I cut myself and bled all over the floor. Hard wood and all so I couldn't get it out. I tried for at least five minutes the saw it wasn't going to work so I just used magic. It was my first offence and stuff so it was ok. I got a warning like you though. Ha they really are dumb. My parents banned me from using magic at their homes long ago. Ministry letters and all. I would have been expelled immediately if I had used magic in my Father's house and in my Mother's I would have just gotten a warning then all that you know? So I didn't really care. I just got ready for work like always and left the house. But my Father called and I just flipped out. I was so happy too. I didn't even say anything really I just said I have to go and hung up. I don't know I just flipped out after that. Nothing felt clean. Not even me. So I changed and washed off my makeup and stuff then I still didn't feel right so I decided that if they could save me I was supposed to live and if they couldn't then I wasn't supposed to. So I apperated and came up across the street then slashed my wrist then came and she took me. I told her to tell you I was sorry but she never did."

"Sorry for what?"

"I was and am sorry that I couldn't help you. I am sorry that I was stuck with them. I was sorry that Hogwarts had to end. I was sorry that I would never be able to be with you again. But here I am. Right next to you." She smiled and he smiled back. Then he started crying.

"Oh what's wrong. I'm sorry I shouldn't have told you. Come here." She scooted over and made room for him in her bed. He sat next to her and she wrapped her arms around him. He did the same until he found his voice then he looked at her.

"No I'm sorry." And then she broke into tears and they both held each other while they cried.