A/N: Hello again! I began writing this at 10th of November!...

Then I rewrote it at 21 November... yaaay...

Enjoy!


Chapter 2: "The Hopeless... lover... (crap.)"


*Snore* *Whistle*...

*Snore* *Whistle*...

A man by the name of William, is currently sleeping in his bed, fast asleep and enjoying his dreams... Or the lack there of. He wasn't really a dreamer as his head during sleep is just the void.

But sadly, his dream of nothingness had to be interrupted by an alarm clock.

(MUSIC: Drunken Sailor - The Irish Rovers)

"What will we do with a drunken sailor?"

"What will we do with a drunken sailor?"

William opens his eyes and groggily sits up.

"What will we do with a drunken sailor?"

"Early in the morning!"

He looks at his phone, the source of said music that woke him up, and sees that the time is 6 o'clock in the morning.

"Way hay and up she rises!"

"Way hay and up she-"

William moved his hand to the phone and pressed a volume button on the phone, turning off the alarm. (1*)

He gets up from his bed and looks over to his chair, which currently has his clothes rested on.

He sighs, " 'Nother day, 'nother annoyance." and walks over to his mini-fridge.

He takes out a loaf of sliced white bread, some butter, a half-eaten pack of sliced cheese, some sausages and milk.

He places the food onto the table and sits down behind it... Until he looks back at the minifridge and sighs "Forgot to take a cup again..."

He gets up from his chair reaches for a cup above the mini-fridge, a plate and a knife as well. Then places them on the table and begins making a sausage-cheese sandwich...


~ 2 Minutes Later ~


"A sausage n' cheese sandwich." William says, after already taking a bite.

William made for breakfast 4 sandwiches, currently he's eating the first one.

He drinks a bit of milk to wash down the sandwich and says "Now... I feel like I am forgetting something..."

He stays silent, contemplating his thoughts, whilst enjoying his sandwich...

...

William's eyes suddenly widen, "Fuck!" He yells out in distress, "I'm in Japan! That's worse than driving drunk and somehow ending up in Finland during a winter storm!" He says, his eyes as wide as plates, "And during the time of the Soviet Union occupation! Hol-e shit! "

And he then promptly stayed quiet again...

...

"Didn't Keine say that this place was literally seperated from the rest of the world?" He asked himself, completely forgetting his previous statement... "Yes, she did. And it seems she meant it. Which means..." He gestures around himself, "I gotta sleep in the truck and find a new place to call home!" He yells out, slamming his right fist against the table, before recoiling in pain.

"ow..." He utters out, "Don't slam tables, William. They hurt you more than you hurt it." He tells himself, then continues eating his breakfast... (2*)


~ 10 Minutes Later ~


"Right!" William suddenly exclaims, after eating his breakfast, "How will I tackle these recent events?" He asks himself.

He begins putting on his clothes. He puts on his socks first, then he puts on his overalls.

William then put's on his hat and his pair of steel-toed boots. He picks up a tiny hammer and knocks onto the steel-toed boots, hearing a satisfying *DING*, wich made him smile, "A good tradition to start off the day." (3*)

He then stretches a fair bit, muttering "And to chase away the sleepiness away..." before letting his muscles loosen again with a sigh.

He walks towards the exit, swings the door open and hears a sudden *BANG* against the metal door.

William stops for a moment, processing the sound of what he just heard to be something metallic being hit.

He looked under the open door and recognizes who it is, by the clothes they are wearing. Then he quickly stands up right again.

"Oh..." William muttered out, not expecting such a thing to occur. "Sorry 'bout that, Keine." He says with a sheepish smile, "I got a bit of a habit doing that in the early hours."

... After a long pause, William hears Keine simply sigh with irritation and soon after hear her say "It's okay."

William simply ignores this and steps out of the truck, closing the door behind him, "So, did you need anything?" He asks, curious to why she is here.

She rubs her arm and flinches in pain, before answering with a frown, "I heard commotion yesterday from here, but I couldn't come and see what was wrong, because I had to teach the children." She explains, then looks at William, "And you were sleeping when I had time to see what was going on."

"That's why I heard banging?" William muttered to himself in thought, before shaking his head to free from said thoughts and asks "Well, why were you so worried? It was just someone that broke into my truck, I took care of it." He stops for a moment, before his eyes widen slightly and ask "Do you know where I could get a generator or somesort of electricity production device?"

Keine's eyes widen at the mention of a break-in, "Someone broke into your home?!" She yells, "And you're completely fine?!"

"Well..." William says it thought, before noddung "Yes. I'm completely fine."

Keine then worriedly asks "Could you tell me who broke into your home?"

William starts picking his ear, not really caring "Yeah, sure. It was some lady in a witch's get up. Her name was..." He stops to think, pulling the finger out of his ear, "Marisa or something? Can't really remember."

William noticed that Keine wasn't really expecting that as an answer, because her jaw went wide open in shock. "Why does it feel like I'm in a cartoon all of the sudden?" William thought to himself, as everything does seem slightly... out of place for him.

"Wha-, bu-," She stammers, before violently shaking her head and yelling loudly "YOU IDIOT! SHE CAN PERMENANTLY HURT YOU!""Wait, really?" William thought out loud.

"SHE LIKES TO USE POWERFUL AND FLASHY ATTACK! HAVE YOU SEEN HOW THINGS WORK AROUND HERE?!" "Well, I have seen those fairies fire-." "SO YOU HAVE! THINK OF THOSE ATTACKS AND TURN IT INTO A GIGANTIC RAINBOW-COLORED BEAM!"

William, after being scolded (Though, he didn't pay attention to the scoldimg part), paled at the thought. "Oh... damn it." He mutters.

Keine finally calms down with a sigh and says, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the village for a while, so that you do not cause unneccessary trouble."

William shrugs and says, "Sure. I'll leave. I got the equipment to survive in the wilderness." And walks toward the truck's cab, muttering "Maybe I can even find a place to build my home at?"

"And William." Keine says, getting his attention, "Can you take another person with you? He's been causing headaches since he arrived."

William stops moving, "Huh? Oh, sure. I can do that." He says with a shrug.

"Okay, good. Let me go get him." She says and walks into the village.

William decided to take a can of strawberry cider from the cab and then leans against the truck, waiting for Keine to come back.

He opens the can and begins sipping, whilst getting lost in his own thoughts.

"Well, since there is no way for me to get back home right now, I could just... Move in for now. Like, there probably is taxes in the village, so best place to be at is outside the village, as there would be no tax collector who would have the balls to come and collect tax." Williams thinks, taking a sip from his can.

"But what kind of house should I build? The entire land here is dangerous as shit and I highly doubt people would appreciate me using guns to defend myself, no matter the case. So best bet would be a house that is hidden... Or..." He delves deep into his thought, before snapping his finger, "I know!" He exclaims, "I can finally build a house that can use pistons and gears to move into the ground, hiding it from view! Genius!" He says with a smile to himself.

He then notices two voices he's hearing, one is Keine and the other one he recognizes but can't seem to recall.

"Hey! Hey! Chill! Chill, baby! I don' did nothin' wrong! I've just been at the bar, is all!" Says a voice that seems really familiar to William.

"I'm not dealing with your flirting attemprs again! And everyone is already sick of you!" William heard Keine say, then sees her dragging someone by the ear.

William sets his eyes on the man and soon his eyes widen.

The man wears a black suit with a red tie and blue jeans. He also has somesort of shoes that are fit more for dancing and a tiny brown bowler hat rests on his head. Overall the person is slightly taller than William, but he's incredibly skinny.

"Hold on, DAVE?!" William says in shock.

The person, now named Dave, stops struggling and looks back at William in disbelief, "WILLY?!"

Dave soon got let go by Keine, as he ran towards William. He stopped right in front of William and asks "How the fuck did you end up here?!"

"I got in a truck crash, dipshit." William says with a smile, "How'd ya end up here yourself?"

Dave then smiles cockily "Well, I scored up with a BE-A-U~tiful woman in a sub-class party! We danced out and-"

"You tried to hit on a girl, were incredibly clingy, tried to pay her with money for her to rub her bum on your crotch and you were in a strip club, got it." William says with a deadpan, causing Dave's smile to faulter.

"You know, fuck you William." Dave says with a slightly peeved tone of voice, "You're just sad that you got no woman to love."

"Yes." William nods, "That's because i'm a bit of a masoginist." William says, a neutral expression on his face, "That and I don't go to strip clubs every week and pay loads of money to have a lap dance."

Dave huffs in irritation, "You just have no class, Willy..." Then he leans in and whispers, "You know, at this rate I think you aren't straight-."

"Mate. You're ugly as fuck. Even if I wasn't straight, I would NOT date you." William says, his deadpan ever present.

"You truly are no fun, Willy." He sighs, standing up straight again.

"And let me guess on how you got here," William begins to retort, "You were too drunk to remember."

Dave gasps in mock-shock, "Well, I never!" He says, "You dare to suggest someone as great as me being drunk? Even though you are drinking alcohol right now?".

"Yes." William simply says.

"Well... I certainly know why you don't like average woman." Dave begins, a shit eating grin present on his face, "It's because of your little sexual fetish related to- *HMPF*" Dave's mouth was slammed shut by William.

William glares at Dave and says in a low voice "We do not talk about my stuff, you damn horn dog."

Dave shakes his head in agreement and finally Keine steps in "While I have no idea what you two were mostly talking about, I do wish that the both of you start leaving." She says, "Now" She adds with a threatening tone, causing both William and Dave to stumple.

"Yes ma'am!" Both William and Dave say in unison, before running into the truck's cab.

"Drive, William, Drive!" Dave says in panic.

William turns the keys whilst saying "I am, I am!" and after about 2 seconds, the engine turns on and he drove the truck away from the village and into the woods. Then he drives at a slow pace, about 5 km/h.

"Whew." Dave says, "She's really terrifying, ain't she? Fiestu one as well."

"Could you stop with your hard-on's?" William says in irritation, "You bloody go to a strip club every week for goodness sake! Not to mention those 'home services' You order."

"Hey, let's not bring that up, alright?" Dave says back, "It's not my fault I'm like this." He adds defensivly, before grinning "Besides, you like me!"

William simply sighs, "Yes. You do make life interesting..."

Then silence ensues, as William slowly drives the truck through the forest.

"So." William begins, "How many?" he asks, to which Dave begins to grin.

"A whole bar, good sir. Lots of pretty women there," He says with a smile, but then sighs in sadness, "but sadly they don't accept Euros. They only accept Yen." He adds.

"Really?" William asks, "That many good ones? wow, you found a fine spot then." He says, clearly impressed.

"Of course. But they all had low standards, sadly." Dave said, slightly annoyed.

"Ha!" William lets out a chuckle, "No one was enticed by your 'good looks' ? I'm surprised." He says, a large grin on his face.

"Shut up..." Dave retorts, not liking the unsaid insult. He then asks William in a more calmer and joyous tone, "Do you still have your computer, William? I've got a feeling about this place."

"Sure. It's in the back, but I got it hooked up to the modified dashboard. Just open the glove box and press the button." William says with a shrug, continuing to drive the truck through the forest at a steady pace.

"Really?" Dave asks in surprise, then does what William instructed.

The glove box opened up and out popped a monitor and keyboard, which then showed a screen of a cluttered Windows 7 desktop. The background being William driving on a tractor with his foot whilst standing and playing a guitar.

Dave opens up a internet browser that William has installed and begins to search something.

"What are you searching for, anyway?" William asks curiously, still focusing on driving the truck.

"I have a feeling about this place and you propably won't like." Dave says, as he begins typing, but stops. "Shit. I can't remember the name."

"Remember what?" William asks, clearly interested in what Dave is thinking about.

"There's this bullet hell game series, but I can't remember the damn name." Dave says with irritation, "Fuck, what was the name? It had like, awesome music and shit." He adds.

"Huh. Well, just search on YouTube then. If it's game music, it propably has been in one of those funny yet stupid kind of SFM videos." William suggests, prompting Dave to do so.

"Sure. Give me a name." Dave says with a shrug, opening up YouTube.

"Pfft... Uhh..." William thinks from the top of his head, "What kind?"

"Think of YTPMV. That most likely would be reliable." Dave says, waiting for William to answer.

"Just try 'TF2 YTPMV Medic', okay? Maybe that will give you somethin', cause Medic's voice is probably used a LOT for those." William suggest and Dave types into the search.

Then Dave selects the first playlist he sees and begins listening to identify music...


"Oh! I think I found it!" Dave says, as the truck's speakers play the YTPMV of medic screaming 'September First'. (4*)

"Really?" William says, "The music does seem familiar..."

"The YTPMV is based on a song called 'Adventure of the Lovestruck Tomboy', Which is related to a game series called 'Touhou Project'!" Dave says with excitement.

"So? We're basically stuck in a parralel world that is based on a game." William says with a shrug.

"Yes-. but-." He tries to say something, but them sighs and types something into a search engine "Just look at this, William."

"Can't. I'm driving the truck." William says, focusing on the non-existent path ahead of him.

"Just stop the truck for a hot minute and look!" Dave exclaims in irritation, causing William to let out a "Fine!" and stops the truck dead on it's tracks.

William looks at the screen and sees a picture of... "Keine?" He asks, surprised from this development, "Hold on, we're in a game?"

Dave nods franctically, "Yep! I know very little about it! Mainly because-." He was about to say, but was got off by William asking "The majority of the characters shown are female?", causing him to pout.

"Yes. No need to be so rude." Dave huffs out.

William sighs and mutters, "Great." He begins driving the truck forwards again, "So we are in a game series that has it's male-to-female ratio fucked up, most said females being capable of dominating us easily, I assume, and overall seeming like we are in a fucking cartoon."

"I..." Dave begins to say, then deflates "... haven't thought about that."

"Of course you haven't." Williams says with a loud sigh.

"Hey, the denizens are probably nice, so there's no worry." Dave says with a shrug, a smile, them a stretch, "Like, have we met anyone who wants to ruin our day?"

"I have. A woman broke into my truck and trigfered the alarm. I quickly knocked her out and bounded her to the chair-" "Nice, did-" "No, I said bounded, not pounded. As in, I tied her to a chair." "That didn't-" "No, I didn't do the deed. Will you stop being so horny, god damn it!" William finally snaps, annoyed by Dave's issue.

"What? What?" Dave says, raising his hands defensively, "I'm just suggesting that it was the prime oppurtunity to-"

"No." William finally states, leaving no room to argue over it.

"Fine..." Dave sighs out, a dissapointed look on his face. Before a questioning look appears and he asks "Where are we gonna live anyway? We are in a spot where we just can't get home."

"Planning on building a house. As in, building a home in this forest." William says non-challantly, whilst driving the truck. "Though, we will be needing gas masks for a while."

Dave tilts his head in confusion and asks, "...Why?... Why to we need gas masks?"

William shrugs, "Pretty certain the forest has poison gas." "Poison?!" "Yeah. The air is poisonous because of the plants, pretty certain." William says without care.

"Why are we in a poisonous forest?!" Dave exclaims with horror, "This is a horrid place to live at!"

"It's a wonderful place! We got natural defence against intruders that way!" William says with excitement in his voice, "That, and I don't wanna pay taxes to the village."

Dave was about to protest, before hearing about not having to pay taxes. He asked with delight, "Wait, we don't need to pay taxes?"

William asks in retort, "Who'd have the balls to come out here to demand tax?"

Dave smiles in pure delight, "Oh, this is a great idea! That way I'd save waaay more money and I'd be capable of-"

"Fuck no, you aren't bringing prostitutes to the house." William says with a straight face.

Dave tsks and mutters "You're no fun..."

"Alright. Let's stop here." William says, stopping the truck, "Seems like a good place to stay at, right?"

Dave looks around, before questioning with a thoughtful expression, "Really? I see a lot of forest, trees and probably poisonous shrooms..." He then looks back at William, "Actually, I think some of trees are poisonous, but my botany is a bit rusty though, so I'm not sure."

William asks, "You're a botanist?" as he was about to exit the truck.

"Yeah." Dave says, to William's surprise, "I used to grow poisonous plants."

"Why?" William asks, to which Dave answers, "Because I dealt with contractual murder."

"You were a hitman?" William asks in confusion, before Dave specifies with "Mercenary", earning an "Ah" from William.

They both get out of the truck cab, William having turned off the engine. Dave stretches his legs, as he mutters "The seat is so uncomfortable." before turning to William, "So. What exactly are we gonna do?,

William walks to the back of the truck and says, "First we will clear a small plot of land for us, so that we'd have room to build."


Both dave and William have axes in hand, chopping down trees, whilst loud music plays from the truck.

William's not even braking a sweat, as he keeps swinging the axe and chopping a tree with his might.

Meanwhile, Dave is already out of breath from the work, his axe dangling at his side.

"William," Dave pants out, "You..." He breaths, "Are a..." Takes another breath, "A god-damn monster..."

"WHAT!?" William yells, as he keeps chopping down a tree, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF HOW AWESOME THIS SONG IS!"

"God damn it... Why?..." Dave says, wondering who he wronged in a previous life.


"Then we need to rid of the stumps." William says, then he points behind him to the truck with his thumb, "Thankfully, I have explosives with me."


William is bringing out a wooden box from the truck and is carrying said box over to a set location.

Dave noticed something fell out of thebox, prompting him to pick it up and yell "Hey! You dropped your-" He notices what is in his hand, that being a stick of dynamite, "dy- dy- dy- dynamite!" He yelps out.

William turns around and walks over to Dave. As Dave asks with a tiny stutter "What else have you, uh, got there?"

William grabs the dynamite from Dave's hand and places it back into the box. Then he puts the box down and begins to list off the things in the box.

"Oh, er... gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, GLUE, and..." William answers, then pauses to think for a moment, "Paperclips," He adds, then gestures with his hand about the size, "big ones."

William then shrugs and picks up the wooden box again, "You know, office supplies." He waves off the question and continues to haul the grate somewhere. (5*)

Dave just watches William walk away, then finally muttering, "What the hell?..."


"Finally, we can flatten the terrain." William says, "We can just do that when I'm drunk driving." He adds non-chalantly, causing Dave to turn a shade of pale.


"AAAAAAAAA-" Dave is sreaming his heart out, holding onto his chair as the truck drifts everywhere whilst a speed-up version of Moonlight Sonata (3rd Movement) plays loudly from the speaker.

William is driving like a drunk man, whilst drinking constantly. The truck swerves and swings around the now empty plot, kicking up large amounts of dirt and dispersing it everywhere.

Dave turns too look at William, his imagination taking hold.

Instead of William, he sees a demon wielding an accordion.

Dave continues to scream in fear, terrified. (6*)


"Then..." William says, "I guess we call it a day." William shrugs, deep in thought.

"Umm..." Dave interrupts William, "Could we do that tomorrow? Y-You know, early hours and such?"

"What? Your British arse scared of regular workdays?" William asks in confusion, which prompted Dave to yell "You Estonians do 12 hour work in a 8 hour frame, for fuck sake!"

"So? We're just productive." William states, not understanding what is wrong. This causes Dave to sigh in acceptance, "I'm gonna die." He mutters. (7*)

"Don't be such a baby and grab an axe. We will atleast chop down the trees." William says, throwing an axe from the truck, which landed right in front of Dave's feet.

Dave wails out his protests, but William simply ignored him. Instead, William yells out "Computer! Use outer speakers and play songs from Sabaton!"

A ding was heard from the truck, before long a song began to play.

(MUSIC: Livgardet - Sabaton.)

"Ärat livgardet står"

"Nooo!" Dave screams again, with terror and fear.


~2 Hours Later~


William and Dave are swinging their axes, chopping down trees.

Then William notices someone approaching from the forest, so he yells "Computer! Lower volume to 10%"

Dave notices this and asks William with hope "We're taking a break?"

William nods, "Seems so, 'cause we have a visitor." as he points to the approaching figure.

Said figure is a woman woth blonde hair and gold eyes. She is wearing a light blue dress with long white sleeves and there are two pink ribbons wrapped around her waist and neck.

She is holding a bok in one hand and there is a floating-.

William curses and screams in his native tongue with terror, before hiding behind Dave and using him as a shield, causing him to let out a "Hey!"

The woman looks on in slight confusion, though noy clearly shown on her face.

Dave facepalms with a sigh and says "I can't believe I have to introduce ourselves...", before looking at the woman and saying in a friendly tone "Hello! Do you speak English?".

The woman nods, "Yes. Who are you two? And why is the big one hiding behind you?"

Dave gestures to himself, "I am David Smith Jr, son of David Smith. My friends call me Dave." Then he points to William, who is hiding behind him, "And this guy is William. Just William, no surname. He has an incredible fear against dolls."

The woman nods and the floating doll floats behind her, out of sight. This prompted William to finally stop using Dave as a meat shield and he walks to the side.

William awkwardly coughs and says "Yes. Just like Dave said, I have a fear of dolls. But let's not dwell on that. Who are you, if I may ask?"

The woman nods, "My name is Alice Margatroid. And as you saw earlier, that was my puppet, which I control." She says.

Suddenly, William felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around, only to see the same puppet from before, which made him jump and he promptly hid behind Alice, surprising her and causing Dave to have a sweatdrop appear on his head.

William yells curses in his native language, pointing at the doll. His eyes are completely wide.

Soon after, the doll went away and William stopped hiding behind Alice. He awkwardly walks back to his previous position, muttering about his distaste for dolls.

William calms down and says "It certainly does sound useful, Alice." As he tries to forget about the previous situation.

Dave then snirks, before saying smoothly, "Hey. You look as pretty as your doll. Well done, as I say. Why don't we two go and-"

William had grabbed a large wrench from his pocket and decided to hit Dave at the top of his head, knocking him out.

Alice stands there in confusion, more interested in William's sudden action than Dave's attempted flirting.

"Yeah, whilst I'm afraid of dolls he has a bit of a problem..." William says, pointing at the now unconcious Dave.

"And that is?..." Alice asked, her eyes slightly narrowing at William.

"He's a pervert. And utterly horny for women." William says with a deadpan, "Trust me on this."

Alice smirks and asks, "How bad can it be?"

William sighs and begins to list of acts Dave has done, "He's had several wifes, at some points he's had multiple at the same time even. He's cheated on them all the time. He's gone to strip clubs every friday and monday. He's had prostitutes visit his home every wednesday. and he's had sexual intercourse with his female siblings." He says it all with a straight face, not in anysort of joking mood.

Alice... Has a bit of a shocked face, as she wasn't clearly expecting Dave to be that horrid.

"If he tries to do any advances, you have my full permission to kick him in the crotch." William states, before sighing and muttering "God knows he needs it."

Alice's face turns into a neutral one and nods, "I'll keep in mind."

Alice then looks at the axes, "Why are you two deforesting this area?" she asks, a frown forming on her face.

"Oh, that?" William says, "We're planning on building a house. We're clearing up a plot of land here so that we could build a house here."

"Oh?" Alice mutters out, "Why did you decide to have a house in the forest?"

William simply shrugs and answers "No taxes here." Before adding on quickly "That, and I need room for a workshop and I usually make a lot of noise when working."

Alice nods in understanding and asks "Would you like help with building your home?"

William waves off the offer, "Nah no need. Maybe at a later date though." He then points at the area where the truck is, "I first need to clear the area from trees and stumps. Then I need to hit the drawing board and draw up some schematics. Then finally I can start building. I'd say..." William stops and rubs his chin in thought, then answers "Ask again in about a week or so, Then I'd definetly be working on building the house."

"I will." Alice nods, then a small smile appears on her face, "Good luck on building a new home."

"Many thanks! Have good day, Alice!" Williams says, as Alice moves away and back into the forest.

After about 30 seconds, Dave wakes up from his hit and mutters "Wha' happen'd?"

"I knocked you out cold. Had a lovely chat with Alice." Williams answers, before saying "Right! Get to work!" as he walks off to chop more trees

"Ah, shit..." Dave curses under his breath. He then picks up his axe and goes to chop trees as well...


~ E N D ~


(1) - I actually had this as my ringtone for 3 years. Now I use a smart band-watch-thing that violently shakes and wakes me up.

(2) - Something that I actually do when I'm stressed and finally figured out a solution.

(3) - This is NOT a tradition. This is something that I thought up off from the top of my head.

(4) - September First by Philip OnBread.

(5) - I hope you got the reference. If not, the I'll just te you. It is basically a quote from the movie Atlantis: the Lost Empire.

(6) - A reference to Team Neighborhood from Greatdictator.

(7) - Estonian Stereotype.


A/N: Hello!

Fun fact: I scrapped this chapter several times!

Originally, it was gonna be William attempting raid the Scarlet Devil Mansion, but he got his shit punched in by the gatekeeper. The whole fight with the gatekeeper would've been a massive Punch-Out! Reference.

Then it changed to this! The current version! Where William meets his hopeless buddy named Dave!

I wrote Dave in, mainly because William needed someone to talk to. Someone he was already comfortable talking to and knows well.

And I tried giving William and Dave their own personalities.

But midway writing this, I had an idea for a chapter! It was gonna be mainly focused on William, who one day wakes up to find two of his most treasured objects being stolen! That being his very first tool he used and the very first thing he built with said tool.

It would've gone as thus:

* William notifies Keine about his stolen possesion. Keine proposes that it was propaply Marisa.

* William gets redirected to the Forest of magic, where he gets lost and stumbles upon Alice's home. A misunderstanding occurs and William has to fight Alice, but ultimately gets his ass kicked. He then explains why he's there and who he is looking for, which prompted Alice to give directions to Marisa's home.

* When arriving at Marisa's home, he finds that no one's home. He didn't want to risk braking and entering so he walked back to Alice's house. On the way back, he gets jumped by Cirno, who starts attacking William.

* William manages to beat Cirno and arrives back at Alice's house. He tells Alice that Marisa wasn't home, which causes Alice to suggest William to head for the Hakurei shrine, saying that Marisa would propably be there.

* William having no idea where it is, walks back to the village and meets up with Keine, Who redirects him towards the road that leads to the Hakurei Shrine.

* Once William arrived at the shrine and climbed up those stairs, he meets Reimu. Reimu already was annoyed by William and even more annoyed when William told his reason why he came. Turns out William arrived on a bad day and became a stress-dummy for Reimu.

* Finally, after calming down, Reimu tells William that he'd probably find Marisa at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Which, again, he had no idea where it was located.

* William arrives back at the village and tells Keine that he needs to head to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, which at the mere suggestion she disallowed him to go to. But after many begging, she finally relented. But she wanted William to prove to her that he was capable, so he needed to fight her.

* William ends up somehow defeating Keine with luck and he's told how to get to the Mansion. In turn, he set off immediately.

* William arrives at the misty lake and the day finally begins to darken. He meets Rumia, who got easily defeated by William, after he just ran up to her and whacked her with a wrench.

* He then arrived at Scarlet Devil Mansion and sees Meiling guarding, but actually more like sleeping.

* William tries many ways to wake Meiling up, but ultimately he somehow did and she kicked his shit in.

* William explains his visit, and Meiling undestands the situation and notifies Sakuya, who suddenly appeared behind Meiling.

*After the explanation, Sakuya understands what William is talking about and hands back one of the items that had been stolen from William. Specifically, the very first object he created.

* Sakuya then explains that Marisa is probably at Reimu's shrine or at her own home.

* William thanks Sakuya and sets off to the Hakurei Shrine again, the time being a bit late now.

* He arrives at the shrine and knocked, getting greeted by a tired and annoyed Reimu.

* William asks if Marisa possibly came by, to which Reimu said yes and that she left soon after. He then appologizes for bothering Reimu and left towards the Forest of Magic.

* William got lost again and stumpled upon Alice's home again. He knocked and the door was answered by Alice.

* William asks if Alice had recently seen Marisa, to which Alice says no. This prompted William to leave and find Marisa's home again.

* He found Marisa's home after an hour of stumbling through the dark, and he quietly broke in to the house.

* He sneaked silently around Marisa's home, until he finally found his prized tool and snatches it back.

* William was about to leave Marisa's home, but gets caught red-handed, prompting to runaway from an enraged Marisa.

* He somehow manages to escape Marisa's wrath by hiding in the trees and shadows.

*After the whole ordeal, he walked back to the village, where his truck is at and climbed into the back, where he then stored his prized possesions on a shelf.

* Then he locks up his truck and promptly fell asleep on his bed, enjoying his well-deserved rest.

Anyway, I soon realized that this idea was incredible and have decided to use it at a later date.

Also, I'm planning to write a quick chapter detailing William's and Dave's bio. After that, I will hopefully continue with the semi-regular stuff.

Oh, and I do encourage people to give honest thoughts about my work. And I appologize in advance that of I sound like an asshole.

Anyway! Now, on with the jokes I thought up off while writing!


Joke 1:

William yells out, slamming his right fist at the table, before letting out an "Ow!"

He shakes his hurt hand "Remember William. Tables hurt you more than you hurt it."

At which point the table he slammed at launched up and folded upwards, slamming William's head and knocking him out.


Joke 2:

"Someone broke into your home?!" Keine yells, "And you're fine?!"

William shrugs and says, "Well, of course." as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "If a ruffian breaks into my house, I will use my musket to shoot a golf-ball sized hole in their chest."

"WHAT?!"


Joke 3:

"Am I in a cartoon?" William questions himself.

He grabs a frying pan and then smacks it against his head. His head morphed into a flat shape and he knocked himself out.

"WILLIAM!" Keine yells in fright.


Joke 4:

"Hey, William." Dave suddenly asks, prompting William to let out an inquizitive hum.

"How do you have internet here? As in, How is your cmputer having our source of internet?" Dave asks, curious about William's answer.

"Simple! !I used imaginery and non-existant materials to built a intwr-dimensional reciever, which recieves the internet from our word." William explained off handedly, "Either that or I was drunk."


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