I've had a new bout of inspiration for this fic, so I'm going to try and finish it, then pick up where I left off with The Deal.
Disclaimer, Summary and Review in chapter one.
Gold Silk; Concerning your review for chapter 4; I'm sorry I didn't explain it in the other chapters, but it will be expalined in this chapter.
Lillei; Yes, now you do have to update! I'm glad you're glad I'm updating! Short? What are you calling short? It wasn't the longest in the world, but short!
Celi; I love you! I love that you have reviewed every chapter so far! And believe me, the suffering will start soon. It's really not easy telling the boy you have only just made up with that you had sex with him without telling him!
When Love and Hate Collide.
You Could have A Change Of Heart.
Sirius lay back on the bed, bored out of his mind. James and Remus were supposed to come and pick him up now, but they'd been delayed by that overbearing nurse. She couldn't let him go now, could she? No, she had to give then a two hour lecture on how fragile he was, and how they had to look after him, and if he hurt himself again, they would be held responsible, and so on. He just wanted out of here!
Remus was unbelievably bored. He just wanted to get Sirius, take him back to the Dorms and lay into him. But no, he had to spend two and a half hours listening to Madame Pomfrey's "Lesson" about looking after suicidal people. He knew exactly how to deal with his suicidal friend. Yell at him. A lot. Then lay on the waterworks and guilt trip him into stopping.
But no, he was supposed to be supportive. He was supposed to listen. He was supposed to make Siruis happy. Wow, that would really work. Act like nothing happened, turn a blind eye to his self-harming and smile prettily at him whenever you notice that his white shirt's trying to turn Gryffindor.
Bullshit.
Finally! After another half an hour, Sirius was finally free. Wonderful.
He followed his two best friends through the empty Common Room, up to the Dorms. Peter was still playing Mr. Absent, not wanting to get caught up in the middle of something.
Remus, tight-lipped and angry, pointed to the bed.
"Sit." Sirius sat down quickly, not wanting to antagonize the Werewolf further. "Now, Sirius Black, you will tell me EXACTLY what you though you were doing."
"I was just... upset. So I tried a little stress relief. I got a bit... Carried away, is all."
"No, Sirius, telling the person you hate most in the world my deepest, darkest secret because you were jealous over a few lewd comments is carried away, trying to kill yourself is a problem!" Remus shouted, his eyes flashing furiously. James started backing away.
"Err, Remus, I think I'll leave you to deal with this. Once you're done, I want to have a word with him as well." James then practically fled the room.
Remus turned pain-filled eyes on Sirius, tears brightening the amber colouring even more. "Why, Sirius? Didn't you think I'd suffered enough, so you decided to add this onto my conscience?" He sobbed in a quiet, infinitely more hurtful voice.
"No! Merlin no, Remus!" Sirius pulled the sobbing Werewolf closer, holding him to his chest as he began crying. "I just... It was my fault, I hurt you, I deserved it, all of it. I couldn't handle the thought of never getting you back. I… I just couldn't take it any more, not without letting some of it out."
"Did… Did you really want to die?"
"At the time, yes. I couldn't take it, and I did, I wanted to just give up. But I don't, I don't want to leave you. I don't want to give up on us, I'm just worried that there's no "Us" to give up on."
"I can't lose you, Sirius. I just can't. I don't know any more. What can I do, to get you to promise never to try this again? What would it take?"
"Forgive me? Take this back? I just want you back so much, I'd do anything. Please?" Remus sighed into Sirius' neck, feeling the older boy shiver slightly. Sirius was holding his pendant out to him.
Remus smiled privately. He'd missed Sirius - and that stupid bloody pendant - so much. He couldn't stay angry at him, especially considering how it had affected Sirius.
He nodded, and Sirius held the pendant out to him, but Remus turned away from it.
"Can you put it on me?" Sirius smiled at him and quickly clipped the pendant back in place. Remus' hand instantly moved to it, feeling as if everything had suddenly falling back into place. He was Sirius' now, and Sirius was his...
He turned around, throwing his arms around Sirius' neck, and sobbing again.
"Just, promise me... Promise me you'll never do anything like this to me again Sirius. I'd rather you just had me executed. If you can promise me that, that you'll never hurt yourself or betray me, then I can forgive you."
"I promise." Sirius croaked, tears choking his voice.
Twenty minutes of hugging and crying later, Remus finally left Sirius alone to go get James. He sat in a seat in the Common Room while James went upstairs - presumably to yell at Sirius. He couldn't help but smirk as he reached a hand to touch his pendant. He'd missed it, the feel of it around his neck and everything it had come to mean to him.
He thought the whole thing had gone rather well. He'd put the waterworks on at first, guilt-tripped Sirius into telling him the truth and he managed to get him to promise not only to never do it again, but to never hurt Remus again as well.
All in all, it went well. He knew Sirius, and he trusted that Sirius would keep his secrets now - guard them with his life if he had to.
No, Sirius wouldn't ever betray him or hurt him again.
James entered the Dorm to find Sirius sitting on his bed. The boy had obviously been crying, his eyes had taken on an unnatractive red blotchiness. He eyed James warily, obviously expecting another lecture.
"I'm not going to lecture you, Sirius. I know you and Remus too well. I know he's dealt with you. I also know that his leaving you alone means that you'll never look at another knife in that way again. I want to talk to you about something else. Namely, your mating with Remus." Sirius went scarlet at this, avoiding looking at James.
"What about it?"
"What do you know about it?"
"Well, I know that it is Remus mating and that it is for life. I know that it means he looks at me as a Dominant, and the best possibility for a mate. Why?"
"No, not quite. Yes, he mated for life with you, and yes he's the Submissive one, but the reason he chose you is because you are in love with him and he's in love with you too.
This wouldn't have happened if he was the Dominant one, however he would have probably pinned you down and -"
"I think I get the picture." Sirius broke in, flushing deeply.
"Yes, well. Because he's the Submissive one, he... he went through a change, before you arrived. That's where the blood came from. It basically changes his biology for a month, because most Werewolves are Mated to a normal human, so the Mating process takes place a few days after the Full Moon. Mostly, they spend the month needing sex until the goal is achieved." Sirius swallowed, looking rather nervous.
"Remus and I haven't needed sex since then, so the... goal was acieved, right?" James nodded. "So, what was the goal. What happened?" James frowned, looking away.
"The goal is... umm... Remus is, he's pregnant."
