Disclaimer - I do not own Naruto, or there would be more femmeslashable characters.

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You were the first. And I will always honor you for that.

At night, when all is quiet and I'll sit awake out of pure habit, you're on my mind. When I finally fall asleep, you're there in the middle of my dreams.

I can remember the first dream I ever had. It wasn't so long ago. It was about you. About what you were able to do. About flashes of fear I feel, wondering what would have happened it weren't for your Hokage.

Would I have ever seen you again? Or would you have never left the hospital? There are times I remember what it was like, back then, and I wonder how I ever could have done such things to you. And then there are times I wish I can go back, times I wish I could go that very moment and see you again.

If I told you these things allowed, would you be scared? Would you avoid me? Would you hate me?

Because if this isn't the infamous love, I don't think I'd be able to handle the real thing. If there is such a thing stronger than this . . Then I believe it would tear my apart to feel it.

Of all people, I often ask myself, Why you? You were just another ninja I tried to kill.

Or maybe that's why, because you didn't die. But then I should love him, the boy who has saved me time and time again. But I don't. I admire him, but nothing like what I feel for you.

Maybe it's because you were the first. Nobody had ever made it past my barriers of sand before you. And maybe when you broke those, you broke more fragile barriers as well. For wasn't it after the match with You that I began having those thoughts? Thoughts like this?

So maybe that's it. And maybe it's not. But the fact remains, that I am feel strongly for you, I love you.

I want to go to you now, embrace you and never let you go. I want to be there for you when you're hurt, and I want you to be there for me.

Because you were the first. And I will always honor you for that.