Prolouge -
He is beautiful and unmaimed, in both body and soul. I am not. Of course he was hurt once, by our keeper. The evil was thick then and still swirls about us at times. But I can see his heart healing day by day, as time passes. He shall be whole once agian. I will never be as I once was. God won't allow it. She continues to pull me back into her web of immorality. I am filthy compared to him.
I want him. Plain and simple, I want him. But she will ensure that never happens. I want to say, 'To hell with her', but I cannot.
Where does this leave me? I know where. I am in hell, stripped of my innocence. The innocence that I once treasured. He treasured it too. He would tease me about it, and call me the perfect angel. But when she took the simplicity from my heart, I began to have thoughts that were anything but angelic. If he could know these thoughts, he wouldn't call me an angel anymore. In fact, I'm sure he would turn from me, unable to look me in the eye. It's all God's fault.
She gets what she wants, and I cannot defy her. After all, who are we to question God? She is Almighty, right? I bet he could escape from her. He is strong and I am weak. He is beautiful and I am ugly. He is innocent and I am tainted. He can be free if he defies God, I would die. I would die, beacuse a mutiny agianst God, at least our God, takes a strong soul. That I am not. He is though, in every sense of the word, our Saviour. If only he'd try. Wait! No. I do not speak ill of him. That's far too bold of someone lowly, like I am.
I love him, and wish I were free. Free so I could tell him all that's happened. There's always possiblilty he'd turn away, disgusted. No, not a possibility, a guarantee. Our God is cruel. I love you Hatori, but you would not and will not want me, Ayame. I am no angel.
