The News of Nothing's Call – Chapter Two – The Second Issue
by Allexandra Radcliffe
Yay! Two updates in two days! I must be crazy. But school has begun anew…I hate concentrating in class. But forget I said that.
Um…again, I apologize for Marluxia…You'll see what I mean. Marluxia fans, please don't murder me.
As for reviews…thank you, YunSor! I love you… gives you some pancakes It might have taken me about five times. I think after the fourth, I just went to bed, but then I was able to beat him when I woke up.
Well, on to the fic! Yay! Oh, but first…I don't own KH, Bokura no Oukoku, Gravitation, or Harry Potter doujinshi. You'll see what I mean.
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THE NEWS OF NOTHING'S CALL
BRINGING YOU THE STRANGE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO US
Editor-in-Chief: Demyx
Editor and Photographer: Xigbar
Field Investigator: Roxas
A New Staff Member!
After a little convincing (that consisted mainly of throwing a copy of the paper on him as he slept), Roxas has agreed to join us here at The News of Nothing's Call! His aid was vital in investigating our top story for this issue, and if he sustains any serious injuries as a result, it was all for the sake of finding out more about this strange Organization of ours.
- The Melodious Nocturne, Demyx
Larxene and Marluxia: Yaoi Fans? by Roxas and Demyx
Yesterday, while Larxene, Marluxia, Axel, Zexion, Vexen, and Lexaeus were at Castle Oblivion, an expedition, led by Roxas, went where no Nobody has gone before – the Savage Nymph's room! After a slightly scary discovery, we went to the Graceful Assassin's room and made an even scarier discovery.
As you can see from our slightly messed-up picture (Xigbar refused to enter Larxene's room, so Roxas took the picture), the floor of Larxene's room was covered with yaoi manga, including Bokura no Oukoku, Gravitation, and several Harry Potter doujinshi. An unfinished drawing on the desk depicted the Superior and Saïx making out, with the odd words, "Xemnas Mansex! Hahahahaha!" on the side.
After a hasty retreat, we then ventured next door into Marluxia's room, only to find more yaoi manga, several yaoi anime, and innumerable fanfics on his computer. At that point, our Field Reporter went to his room and has not yet emerged. Hopefully, everyone concerned will come out of this alive. Xigbar would also like to add that he had absolutely nothing to do with this (coward!)
Special Editorial! The New Guy's Opinion of Our Organization, by Roxas and Demyx
I think this is pointless, but Demyx is forcing me to do this, so…fine. Organization XIII is very disorganized and full of crazy people who have either a) tried to kill me, b) tried to recruit me for something, or c) done weird things that don't make any sense.
Interview Time!
Demyx: So, Roxas…who in the Organization do you think you'll be friends with?
Roxas: If I could have friends, which involves emotions, probably Xigbar. Or Axel, maybe.
Demyx: What about me?
Roxas: Well, maybe.
Demyx: Good enough. What do you think of the Superior?
Roxas: He's very…superior.
Demyx: You're not very good at this being interviewed thing…
Letters From the Organization
Demyx,
If you're so bored, I can find you a few assignments. How about clearing the entire city of Heartless? Or helping Vexen in his lab? Unless this newspaper turns out to not be completely useless, you'll be doing both.
- The Superior, Xemnas
Dear Xemnas,
This newspaper isn't useless! We uncovered Larxene and Marluxia's yaoi obsession! We found out who stole your hot dogs! You can't call that useless! Please don't make me work with Vexen…he said something about a gender-changing potion the last time I saw him.
Dear Demyx,
You're very lucky I can't burn you too badly. I told you not to show anyone that picture! But Larxene'll probably do the job when she finds out what you've done. It's a little thing called revenge – got it memorized?
- Axel
Axel,
You ate all my jawbreakers! Besides, your underwear is weird.
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Hehe…told you there would be weird Marluxia-ness. I'm not saying he's gay (which is weird, coming from a yaoi fan), because I actually have a guy friend who keeps pestering me about when I'm going to let him borrow Gravitation Vol. 6. And I know he's straight, because I went out with him. But Marly does scare me a little. Pink scythe…I hate pink.
Anyway, can anyone figure out where I got the idea for that gender-changing potion? Should be a little obvious for some yaoi fans. Anyways, read and review, please!
