The News of Nothing's Call – Fourth Issue
by Allexandra Radcliffe
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Finally, I got the inspiration for this! I had like three beginnings for it, and scrapped all of them (but one is going to be the beginning of the chapter after next.
Anyways, thanks, everyone who reviewed! You can have some of my authentic Southern sweet iced tea! (Because any other kind is just crazy. Ruining tea with all these extra flavors. Whatever happened to tea and sugar?) So here's the fourth issue!
Oh, wait, disclaimer. I hate these things. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, or weird mispronunciations of Linkin Park.
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The News of Nothing's Call
If We're This Weird Now, What Were We Like As Somebodies?
Editor-in-Chief: Demyx
Editor and Photographer: Xigbar
Field Investigator: Roxas
Special Correspondent: Axel
And I Thought I Was Crazy...
After recovering from Larxene's attempts to kill us, Roxas and I began our in-depth investigation of all your little secrets that you never wanted anyone to know. It's not like you're actually able to get mad at us, anyway...
The Melodious Nocturne, Demyx
Strange Things Coming From Vexen's Lab, by Roxas
Last night, when I was going to Demyx's room, there was a lot of evil laughter coming from the Chilly Academic's room. I ignored it because everyone does that on a daily basis, but Axel said he said Vexen and Zexion laughing together when he came to Demyx's room, which makes no sense. More on this when I can be bothered to care.
Xaldin Can Dance? by Demyx
The other day, Xaldin came and asked to borrow some CDs of mine. So I lent him some of my old ones. Then I went to get one back because I forgot I needed it, and found him dancing. After I avoided his attempts to kill me, we came to an understanding and danced for a while. Xigbar joined us, too!
The Superior came in just as Xaldin was singing along with the song. We thought he was going to give us extra missions or something, but he just walked out again with a strange smile on his face. Whatever he's planning, let's hope it's not too catastrophic...
Copycats: Us or Them? by Roxas
Earlier today, I was sent to a world called Planet (how original) to retrieve something for the Superior. When I was there, I was challenged by a trio looking for their mother. (That was weird because they were all about Xigbar's age.) They mistook me for one of them because they were wearing black leather coats like ours.
After a fight in a place with strange, glowy trees, they ran off to some huge city. Since they were after what I was, I followed. They got in a fight with two guys, one of whom looked like Axel. While they were distracted, I stole the thing the Superior wanted from some guy in a wheelchair and left.
So did they steal the coats from us, or us from them? And is Xemnas related to them or something? When I left his office, he was laughing weirdly and calling the box Mother...
The Last Thing We Need Around Here Are Emos, by Axel
Somehow, even though we don't have hearts, a lot of people around here have been acting very emo lately. At Castle Oblivion, Larxene turned the White Rooms on the twelfth floor into a huge, rainy city and wandered around in it for a few hours. Then she made me dry her off. Demyx had his moment last night, and even Roxas is beginning to react more. (Not that I'm complaining...)
Next thing you know, we'll have a karaoke night with everyone singing songs by that band Demyx likes. Linking Park? Lick My Park? Whatever.
Letters From the Organization
Axel, Roxas, and Demyx,
The next time you three get together at night, don't forget to tell Marly, Naminė, and me! We only want some pictures...
Dear Larxene,
Please don't tell me Naminė's a yaoi fan, too...
To everyone in the Organization,
I have decided to have a karaoke and dance contest tomorrow night. The winner will be exempt from all chores and missions for a week. Since Demyx's room is the nicest, we'll be in there. Also, trying to get out of this is not an option.
The Superior
Dear Xemnas,
Can you at least tell Vexen to not mess with my fish? Last time, he took Aurora and Jasmine for some experiment and I haven't seen them since.
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Well, that's it for this issue. Now to check the little notes I scribbled on the edges of the paper...
No idea why Xemnas wanted Jenova's head...it was just a random thing. But he does have the silver hair for Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz, and Reno looks like Axel, and I think Denzel looks like a younger version of Roxas, but maybe that's just me.
The emo thing came from a conversation my friend and I were having. She says her boyfriend thinks she's emo, and then a friend of mine said my hair on Gaia is emo, and I love Linkin Park, which everyone says is emo. So it kinda stuck and came out this way.
The thing about Roxas and Axel being in Demyx's room will be in chapter four of Behind the News.
Oh, and the Xaldin dancing thing came from this comic I saw on deviantART: XR – The Dance Edition, by Psycrowe. More on all of this in the next issue. Review, please! I'll give you some more tea...
- Allexandra
