Hello, everyone. This is probably a bad day for me to publish this considering PSVR is being released today and it's totally going to steal the spotlight away from my chapter. Oh well, I'm tired of waiting. This chapter took longer than expected...it always takes longer than expected. *cries*
Okay, really big thank you, once again, to Satanic Park of Madness. I dunno what I'd do with out you! I have no idea what was going on with chapter 6! For some reason, all the scene transitions where removed! Urgh! They should be there now, though. I apologize for any confusion that caused anyone. So many things slip under my radar! I don't have an official beta reader yet, which is why my writing is so AMATEUR! Amateur. Ammmmaaaatteeeeuuuurr... So embarrassing! Thank you so much for catching that for me!
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Okay, review responses.
the renegade soldier: YES! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS MY KIND OF HAREM STORY! Yeah, this story is going to be long, it's gonna have lots of road bumps. The girls are not going to all just going to fall for Shinji out of the blue! There's going to be lots of hardships and hostilities and abuse and misunderstandings, but they're going to pull through it together, just like they'd have to in a struggling apocalyptic world like Evangelion. And that's how they're going to grow closer.
Satanic Park Of Madness: Once again, thank you for pointing out the scene transitions had disappeared. I didn't intend for that to happen. Big mistake on my part! Luckily, it was easily fixable. (I guess everything about chapter 6 just likes disappearing on me, because that was the second time part of it had gone missing.) Also, about Asuka being drunk; just a little...I guess, sneak peak, the first scene I wrote for this actually involved Shinji and Asuka having drunk sex! That scene is still a ways off though. But, I'm sure...I hope anyways... that everyone will like the setup to that scene once I get closer to publishing it.
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Now, onto chapter 7!
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Text Guide
Standard Wording
"Spoken Dialogue/Speech"
'Internal Dialogue/Thoughts'
(Flashbacks)
/
[Slash denotes scene transition for the moment; this may be changed in the future so as to become more visible.]
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Disclaimer: I do not own or profit off of Neon Genesis Evangelion, End Of Evangelion, or the Rebuilds of Evangelion. I do not own Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanami, Asuka Langley Sohryu, or any of the other characters/ideas from the Evangelion intellectual property collective. All licenses remain with the proper license holders. If asked to, I will formally remove this story from the hosting website.
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*Cruel Angel's Thesis and Eva intro starts playing*
Neon Genesis Evangelion
A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love
Chapter 07
Of Cookery and Cuisine
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"Hey, wake up, you idiot."
Asuka poked the sleeping Shinji's cheek and he turned over on his futon, trying to hide his face from the girl's warm prodding finger.
"Stupid Shinji! Wake up! It's time for breakfast!" She whispered harshly into his ear.
The boy groaned. He opened his groggy eyes and looked out of the corners of them before quickly shutting them again.
"Yeah, I know. I'll be up in a minute," Shinji croaked out of his dry throat.
"What? No! Breakfast is already cooked, you dope!"
"What do you mean breakfast is cooked? I haven't even woken up yet. Please tell me Misato didn't cook it," the boy said as he got up and propped his elbows on his pillow.
Asuka smirked.
"I made it myself because I was tired of waiting on you. You've been sleeping way too late ever since the last angel attack."
The boy's eyes opened a little wider as he looked at the girl with mild surprise.
"You…you cooked?"
"Of course I did! I'm not some uncultured swine who doesn't know how to prepare food! I know how to make a breakfast for three. It's all part of being a lady," she finished with an eloquent tone and a proud smile as she flipped her hair over her shoulder in her trademark fashion.
"Right," Shinji sighed.
"Hey, come on and get up, will you? I need someone to eat it," she said as she tossed the covers off the boy.
An intense blush overwhelmed Asuka's face as she realized she made a mistake. There, between Shinji's legs, was a rather immoderately sized bulge lifting the fabric of his boxers.
Asuka blankly stared at the erection.
'Oh my god. It's kind of…big. Bigger than I expected...'
She noticed that Shinji was watching her with a blush of his own, which only made Asuka's current predicament even worse.
"URGH, YOU IDIOT! I DIDN'T MEAN GET THAT UP!"
She pulled her hand back and slapped the boy across the face in an effort to hide her embarrassment.
"Now come on," she said as she yanked the boy up by the arm, "There's lots of food and it's not going to eat itself."
He dizzily stood up at Asuka's request and put his hand on his once again angrily burning cheek. He didn't think that slaps could leave scars, but with how hard and how often Asuka hit him, he was starting to think it might be possible.
"What do you mean there's lots of food? Just how much did you cook?"
"You'll see in a minute," Asuka said cheerfully as she pushed and shoved the boy along, her palms pressed against his back in an effort to move the sluggish Ikari across the apartment a little faster.
They entered the living room and Shinji looked out the window to the balcony. It was still pitch black outside and it sounded like there was rain pattering against the glass.
"Just what time did you wake me up at?"
"It's already five in the morning. You should be up already. You should be thanking me instead of complaining."
"Since when was the last time we had to wake up at-"
Shinji's jaw dropped as he rounded the corner and looked at the kitchen table.
"Ta-da!" Asuka said as she stepped in front of Shinji, threw her arms in the air, and curtsied.
She then walked over to the kitchen table and started pointing at the dishes as she listed them off, "This is peaches and cream oatmeal. And these are cinnamon apple dumplings; not the kind of dumpling you have here in Asia. These are European. And these are franzbrötchen. I put lots of extra sugar and cinnamon on them so that they're really really tasty. And this is sauerkraut which I guess is kinda the same thing as the kimchi you make. This is some cinnamon apple juice. And this pretty little thing-," Asuka said as she lifted a platter with a strange dark chocolate cake on it, "-is Sachertorte. It has apricot jam in it. It's delicious! I'm sure you and Misato will agree."
She brought the cake over to Shinji and shoved it right in front of his nose, forcing him to inhale the hot chocolaty fumes.
"Smell that, Shinji?"
"Y-yeah. I smell it," the boy said as he awkwardly leaned away from the cake.
"That's the scent of success; the aroma of a masterpiece!" she shouted with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
Asuka hurriedly brought the cake back to the table and then scampered back behind Shinji so that she could continue shoving him forward into his chair.
Upon taking his seat, or rather, having it forcefully given to him, he looked down at the bowl of pale slop in front of him.
"Uh…what was this again?" the boy said as he pointed down at the steaming food with a mild look of disgust on his face.
"Peaches and cream oatmeal, you idiot."
"Uh...huh…"
"Say-"
Asuka put her finger to her lips and had a wondering look on her face.
"-Don't you people dress up peaches in little lace panties in this part of the world?"
Shinji stopped examining the bowl in front of him as a slight blush formed on his face.
"S-some people. Yeah."
Asuka snickered, "Heehee, you people are so weird."
She picked up a bright red heart shaped apron laying across the back of the chair she usually sat in and then started heading for her room so that she could stash the vibrant piece of clothing.
"Hey, wait, Asuka. How do I eat this? Do I drink it? It doesn't look like I can use chopsticks for this."
"What are you? Stupid? With a spoon of course! There's only like one or two in the whole damn apartment though. Check the utensil drawer or something. If you can't find one, I guess you'll just have to pour the stuff down your throat or something."
Asuka left the kitchen and Shinji got up to rummage through the kitchen drawer. Finding one of the exotic pieces of round silverware, he brought it back to the table and prodded the steaming milky slop in his bowl.
'This really doesn't look appetizing….'
He dug the spoon into the oatmeal and brought a mouthful of the disgusting looking food to his mouth.
'At least it doesn't smell bad.'
He cringed, closed his eyes, and plunged the spoon into his mouth. The taste of the oatmeal assaulted his tongue.
'Oh… It's not that bad,' the boy thought as he opened his eyes in relief.
He moved the weird food around in his mouth before swallowing.
Asuka stepped back through the doorway leading into the kitchen.
"Mmmmmghhh," she said as she stretched, "Was für ein wundervolle Morgen."
A lighting strike flashed outside in the dark early morning and moments later, thunder flooded the apartment before slowly fading.
"Hey, Asuka?"
"Hmm?"
"How long did it take you to cook all this?" Shinji asked before he placed another spoonful of oatmeal in his mouth.
"Oh, I dunno. I couldn't sleep last night because of the storm. So I just stayed up all night and worked on this. I probably started a little after midnight and finished about five minutes before waking you up."
"That's very thoughtful of you, Asuka. I…didn't really think you'd be the kind of person to do this for someone else."
"Yeah, well," Asuka said as a slightly annoyed smirk formed on her face, "I didn't do it for anyone besides myself. I just didn't want to starve to death, so I made a bunch of stuff that I liked. Then, I realized I might've made too much and I didn't want my magnificent work to go to waste. So, yeah."
Asuka took a seat at the table and then grabbed a couple of the franzbrötchen she'd baked before sticking one in her mouth.
"You, know, this stuff is kinda weird. I don't think I've ever seen anything like this," Shinji said as he looked over the little bread bites on the table.
"You think this is weird?" Asuka asked lazily as she chewed on one of the sweet pieces of bread, "You people eat live octopus here in Japan. And people in New York eat lox, capers, and cream cheese on bagels or some shit. I guess that might not seem strange to you, since you eat raw fish here, but it's actually…really fucking weird. And you think a little bit of my bread is strange?"
"Well, I guess you have a point," Shinji sighed, "It's still kinda weird though."
"Oh, what?! You don't like my cooking?!"
"I-I-I didn't say that!"
"Yeah?! WELL THAT'S NOT WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE TO ME!"
"T-that's not what I said!"
"THEN WHAT THE HELL ELSE IS IT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"
"A-Asuka, M-M-Misato is still in bed! Sh-sh-sh-she got home late last night and probably needs sleep," Shinji stuttered as he tried to calm the girl down.
"SO WHAT?! YOU'RE INSULTING MY COOKING! YOU'RE INSULTING MY SKILLS!"
"I-I am not! I just said that I haven't…you know…"
"WHAT? HAVEN'T WHAT? EATEN THIS BEFORE? YEAH? WELL, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE, SO STOP COMPLAINING!"
"I'm not complaining! I just said it was an odd serving of food."
"YOU'RE ODD IN YOUR HEAD!"
A sleepy Misato appeared in the living room and groaned with her eyes still closed.
"What are you two fighting about now? I'm hungover, it's the weekend, and it's not even six in the morning yet," Misato longingly whined, "Couldn't the both of you hold off on the arguing for just a couple more hours?"
"IT'S STUPID SHINJI'S FAULT!" Asuka yelled as she pointed at him.
"I-it is not!" Shinji weakly shot back.
"YES IT IS! HE INSULTED MY BREAKFAST THAT I MADE JUST FOR YOU, MISATO!"
"What?! But you said that you made it for yourself!"
Asuka glared at the boy from across the table.
"Ooh, you are asking for trouble, Third Child!"
"I- gah! Wha? N-no! What? I'm just-"
"THAT'S IT! THAT IS IT! If you think your cooking is so much better than mine, then prove it!"
"What? But, I- How? I don't even-"
"BY HAVING AN ULTIMATE COOK-OFF SHOWDOWN EXTRAVAGANZA, OF COURSE!" Asuka shouted as she stood up and threw her arms in the air, posed, and pointed at some imaginary sunset in the distance.
"A-a wh-wha-what?"
Shinji had no idea what was happening. Sure, he was confident in himself as a cook, but could he take Asuka on at his own game? Did he even want to? What if she decided to beat him for winning? Or even worse…what if Asuka actually bested him?
Shinji usually wasn't one to rise to the occasion. But this was the one thing he was good at in life. He wanted to defend his title, and more than that, he needed to, even if Asuka would punish him for proving himself. He couldn't let this girl push him around forever, and especially not when it came to something he was actually skilled at.
"F-fine," Shinji said with at least some determination.
Asuka looked at the boy with a smirk, accepting the challenge.
"En garde, Third Child. The finished products are due in at dinner time tonight."
"I have just one question," Misato said as she sleepily raised her hand.
"Yes, what is it?" Asuka said as she pointed at Misato excitedly.
"Can I bring whipped cream?"
/
-Prepare and Serve-
/
"I am to accompany you?"
A perplexed Rei stood in the doorway of her apartment as Misato beamed at her. Rain fell all around the building and it mixed with the dusty air around Rei's apartment, creating a pasty white coating over the ground.
"That's right! You're going to help me judge Shinji and Asuka's cooking."
"Judge?"
"Yeah! I hope you're hungry, because we're going to be eating a lot. So what do you say? You gonna come along?"
Rei was somewhat confused. She wasn't sure how she should respond.
'That was an order, yes? It sounded like an order. But…it also did not sound like an order. Is it…a request? A Proposition? Captain Katsuragi…she expects something of me.' rei thought to herself
"Yes, Ma'am," Rei said, trying her best to do as she was taught.
"Great!"
Misato wrapped her fingers around the girl's wrist and started dragging her down the flight of stairs to her car.
Rei could hear shouting coming from inside the car, even over the sound of the rain. It only got louder as she approached. Misato opened the door of the car to let Rei in and-
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I SHOULDN'T COOK WESTERN FOOD?"
Shinji and Asuka were both sitting in the back seat of the Renault obviously arguing about…something. Rei took her seat in the front of the car and then Misato shut the passenger door before making her way around the car to the driver's seat.
"I just meant that everyone might think it's weird and everyone might give it a lower score when they rate it."
"WHHHHAAAAATTTTT? FOR THE LAST TIME, MY FOOD ISN'T WEIRD! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO CHEAT! YOU'RE A CHEATER! YOU KNOW I'M NOT GOOD AT COOKING ASIAN PEOPLE FOOD SO YOU'RE TRYING TO CONVINCE ME TO MAKE SOMETHING THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE!"
Misato giggled, "Ohohoh, was that the mighty Asuka Langley Sohryu admitting that Shinji cooks better Asian food than herself?"
"YOU- YOU SHUT UP!"
Asuka glared at Misato but then noticed a mop of blue hair sitting in the front seat.
"Ooooh! The First Child!" Asuka exclaimed.
Asuka pulled back some foil over a basket she had in her lap and reached in. She then snatched a sugary franzbrötchen out of the basket.
"Here! Have one of these," Asuka said as she leaned over the back of Rei's seat and shoved the sweet roll directly into her mouth.
Rei continued staring straight forward as she chewed on the baked good.
Misato pulled out of the parking lot and used her superior navigational skills to begin locating a super market.
"Now, was it this way? Or was it that way? Or maybe it was straight ahead? Wait. Do I need to turn around? Good thing we're not lost."
"You're lost again, aren't you?" Asuka asked with a bored look.
"Now, now. We're not lost. We've only just left the parking lot," Misato smiled as she waved her hand back and forth as though she were waving the question aside.
"Oh, I know we're not lost. I know exactly where to go," Asuka said as she folded her arms over her chest, "But, you are lost."
"I- I am not lost," Misato said assertively as her cheeks became flushed.
"Just take a left."
Misato chuckled, "Haha, you must've read my mind because that's exactly where I was going to turn."
Asuka put her hands on her face and sighed.
"Honestly, Misato? I've only been here for a few weeks and I already know where most of the markets in our district are. And this isn't even our district! How long have you been here?"
"Oh, for a while," Misato said cheerfully.
"Ugh, that's what I was afraid you were going to say."
Asuka sighed again and then looked back to Rei. She'd seemingly finished eating the food she'd been given.
"So, First Child, how'd you like my cooking?"
"It was…-"
Rei paused as she tried to find the appropriate words to describe the little piece of bread.
"-…excessively sugary."
The bridge of Asuka's nose crinkled and her eyebrows furrowed.
"Excessively sugary? EXCESSIVELY SUGARY?"
Shinji retreated as far away as he could from Asuka. The car was cramped though, and he wasn't going far.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN EXCESSIVELY SUGARY?! YOU ALMOST MAKE IT SOUND LIKE IT'S POSSIBLE TO HAVE TOO MUCH SUGAR," Asuka screamed as she glared at Rei.
"It was also…overly cinnamony," Rei added as an afterthought.
"OVERLY CINNAMONY? BITCH! ONLY A FREAKAZOID COMPLAINS ABOUT TOO MUCH CINNAMON AND SUGAR! THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
Rei turned around and looked at the flaming redhead blankly.
"Is that not what you intended, Pilot Sohryu," Rei asked, "for it to be overwhelmingly tasteful in its flavor?"
Asuka's snarling face softened for a second.
"Well, when you put it that way…"
/
"See, I told you we weren't lost!" Misato said proudly.
"Misato, please. I had to guide you the entire way here," Asuka shot back.
The purple-haired Captain pulled her keys out of the ignition.
"I think you're taking too much credit."
"And I don't think you're being modest enough, which is funny because your flaunting is usually a complaint of mine when it comes to you," Asuka smirked.
"Oh, Asuka, someday you'll learn that you don't have to hide the fact you're a lesbian," Misato said out of nowhere.
"SAY WHAT? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?" Asuka roared as she started crawling towards the front seat to strangle Misato.
"It was a joke, Honeybunch."
"Don't call me that."
"Don't call you what?"
"Honeybunch. Don't call me that!" Asuka demanded
"Sure thing…Honeybunch," Misato giggled as she grabbed a small purple umbrella and exited the car.
"Don't do that," Asuka said in a flat but still threatening tone as she grabbed her own dark red umbrella.
Misato made her way around the car before politely opening the passenger door and escorting Rei out of the vehicle, shielding her from the rain with her umbrella
"Out of the way, idiot Shinji," Asuka growled as she pushed passed the boy and clambered into the front seat so she could exit.
After Asuka was a safe distance from the door, Shinji climbed across the seats and out into the rain.
"Okay, Misato," Asuka started, "I need fettucine noodles that aren't made out of buckwheat. I need alfredo cheese sauce. I need chicken breasts. I need pretzel dough; lots of pretzel dough. I need bratwürst, knackwurst, und jägerwürst. I need lots of butter. I need pizza dough, pepperoni, olives, spicy Italian sausage, asiago, mozzarella, mushrooms, and crushed cayenne peppers. Do you think this place actually has everything I need?"
"There's only one way to find out," Misato smiled as she shrugged before walking to the entrance of the store with Rei sharing her umbrella with her.
Shinji didn't have an umbrella and considered asking Asuka if she'd share hers. Though he somehow doubted she'd want to.
"Um, Asuka?" The boy started
"No. Don't even think about it."
"But, you'd don't even-"
"I don't need to know what you were going to ask because already I know that the answer is no," Asuka groaned as she turned and left Shinji in the rain.
'I guess…the rain isn't so bad,' Shinji sighed as he too made his way to the store.
/
Shinji shivered as he walked into the cool air conditioned store.
"Well, here we are. And no worse for the wear," Misato grinned.
Asuka looked at the signs hanging from the ceiling of the store that designated the different sections of the market.
"God damn it! I still can't read this stuff as well as I'd like. Guess I'd better get to searching," Asuka said as she pranced off into the aisles of the store.
"Hey, Asuka wait! We don't want to get lost!"
"Suit yourself! I can't even read half these Kanji or Katakana or whatever and I'm not about to get lost!"
'Bu-but I will!' Misato thought to herself helplessly as she watched Asuka disappear around the corner of a shelf.
"Shinji! We have to follow her! And by we, I mean you," Misato said as she pointed in the direction Asuka had ran off in.
But, when no one gave chase for the girl, she looked around to discover that Shinji was nowhere to be found.
"Shinji? Shinji, where are you?"
Misato moaned and looked at the ground as she twiddled her thumbs.
"At least I still have you, Rei," Misato said as she glanced to her side to smile at the loyal girl.
Only, there was something amiss. Misato frantically looked around as her head rotated back and forth. But it was no use. Rei had disappeared as well.
"Oh, no. Where did those kids go off to?" Misato whined depressingly, "I've only been in this store for ten seconds and I've already failed as a parent for the day."
/
-Sugar and Spice-
/
"Damn it! Why can't they print this stuff multilingually? Surely all of Japan heard about the arrival of the famous German Pilot of Unit-02. Keyword; GERMAN!"
Asuka groaned and stuffed another box of noodles back on the shelf.
"And why is all of this stuff Japanese noodles? Where's all the Italian noodles? Do they have an import section I need to go to to find anything useful?"
Asuka lazily picked out and examined another box of noodles before putting it back on the shelf. If her frustration wasn't showing through already, it was about to.
She looked around; trying to identify any pointers or hints she could use to navigate her way to her query if such a thing existed in this store.
She could make out a couple of the signs above the aisles. One said bread, another said packaged snacks, but beyond that, there wasn't much she could decipher.
"Verdammt! Maybe I should have brought Misato or one of those dorks with me," she hissed to herself.
A female voice came from behind Asuka
"You seem distressed, dear."
Asuka spun around to face the person.
The woman was relatively short, very youthful, and had black hair that was long on one side and cut only slightly shorter on the other. Her eyes were completely white; she had no pupils. She was obviously blind. But despite that, Asuka felt like the woman's eyesight was so keen that she could peer into her very soul.
'What's with this freakazoid?' Asuka thought as she cringed a little at the sight of the woman.
"Well, of course I am! I'm new to this country and I can't read any of this stuff so I can't find what I want," Asuka stated.
"Well, what were you looking for, dear?"
"Something! Stuff! Noodles that aren't ramen or ramen clones! European! That kind of stuff!" Asuka exclaimed as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Oh, you mean like pasta shells and spaghetti?"
"Yeah! Yeah! You know what I'm talkin' about! Do they have that kinda stuff here?"
"We most certainly do, dear. It's seven rows down on your left."
"Hey, thanks!" Asuka said as she whirled around and prepared to dash for the correct aisle.
She took a step, but turned around again with a blank and confused look on her face.
"Hey, wait a minute. You can't see."
"That I can't, dear."
"Then how do you know precisely where what I'm looking for is?"
"Why, I am the rightful owner of this fine marketplace. It belonged to my mother before she died from astrocytoma. I know every inch of this store. I grew up in it. After my mother left this plane of existence, I inherited this wonderful place. It is such a magnificent store. This emporium is just one adventure after another, a story simply waiting to be discovered around every corner. It is quite an experience for someone like me; especially the scents and smells."
"Uuuuh-huuuh," Asuka said as she awkwardly raised an eyebrow.
"Tell me, dear. Could you answer a question for me since I answered one for you?"
"I mean… I guess that's fair," Asuka mumbled as she tried to suppress a shiver that ran down her spine.
"You are one of the fated children, correct? One of the ones who commandeer the Evangelion; the brave and stalwart defenders of our city?"
"What?! H-how did you know?!" Asuka asked with genuine surprise and mild concern in her voice.
"Rumor has lead me to believe that the city's guardians smell of blood. You, my dear, smell very much like blood."
"Yeah…yeah…you're right. I am one of the Eva pilots. The name…is Asuka Langley Sohryu, Pilot of Evangelion Unit-02. Don't forget it."
"Oh, I won't, my dear. I could never forget someone as courageous as you treading the ground in my store. Like I said, in this place, there's always a story waiting just down the way. Farewell, Asuka Langley Sohryu."
"Wait! Your name! You never told me your name!"
"My name? Oh, I'm no one."
Asuka grit her teeth.
"I want to know!"
The woman smiled at her. It almost pissed Asuka off. That smile. That stupid smile. That woman didn't even know what she was smiling at; if she was even smiling in the right direction. She could be smiling at a bag of potatoes and she wouldn't know any better.
"Will you succeed in your war against the ones you call angels?"
"Of course I will! That's why I became a pilot!"
"Then, my name is irrelevant. I wish you the best in your endeavors."
Asuka glared at the woman. Something was highly unnerving about her.
"Yeah, fine. See yah," Asuka huffed as she twisted around and dashed away from the woman as fast as she could.
'I showered last night. And it's been a few days since I've been in the Eva. How did she smell the LCL on me?'
The redhead's hair trailed behind her like the flames from a rocket, propelling the girl's feet forwards as she flew past the shelves of the store.
Asuka grimaced before she skid to a stop, her shoes screeching across the tile floor in front of the aisle that the woman said she'd find the pasta in.
"Of course," Asuka smirked, 'Blind people's other senses work in overdrive, or so I've been told. That's how she smelled the LCL.'
/
"Why did you choose this one, Ikari?" Rei asked as she studied a t-bone steak that Shinji held in his arms
"Well, it's something new that I haven't tried before. Asuka is going to be cooking a bunch of stuff that most of the guests probably haven't had before. So, I just figured, I'd try to make sure that I didn't have an advantage due to familiarity," Shinji shrugged.
"Beef steak is considered…a specialty meat, correct? It is…expensive by most other's standards."
"That's the idea," Shinji laughed, "People don't get to eat beef steak so often. And when they do, it's usually not fried. So, it should seem strange to everyone. …Well, maybe not Toji. I'm sure he'd eat pretty much anything. But, I'm sure Ritsuko and Kensuke will think it's weird-ish. So, hopefully, Asuka's cooking stands a better chance."
"You intend to give her victory?" Rei inquired as she tilted her head.
"Well…I mean…not exactly. I'm just trying to put us on an even playing field."
"Even...playing field? This is a game between you and Pilot Sohryu?"
"Well, not exactly. I don't think I'd call it a game. Not with how seriously she seems to be taking it. But, I think it's like…a friendly competition."
"Pilot Sohryu does not seem friendly…" Rei said quite sternly compared to her usual self.
Shinji laughed awkwardly and flinched as he touched the place on his cheek that Asuka had slapped so many times before.
"Eheheh, she doesn't, does she?"
Rei stared at the boy, silently confirming her thoughts about the redhead.
"So, maybe she's more like a rival then," Shinji suggested with another shrug.
"If that is what you prefer to see Pilot Sohryu as…"
Shinji smiled at the small girl.
"Misato said she's not so bad once you get to know her," the boy smiled.
Shinji then put his finger to his chin and raised his eyebrow, "Speaking of which, where are Misato and Asuka?"
Even Rei's normally expressionless face came to life as she very subtly furrowed her brow in thought.
"I…do not know. Did they not accompany us?"
Shinji scanned the area and found neither of the ladies.
"Oh, well, that's not good. Knowing Misato, she's probably lost. And, Asuka is probably throwing a fit or beating up someone. We should probably go find them. But, first," Shinji said as he set the steak down in the shopping basket hung over his arm, "we need to find you some vegetables for tonight. I'm sure that Asuka isn't going to be making much food you like."
"That sounds…agreeable."
"I was thinking some miso soup but with chives, onion, and shitake mushrooms. Would that...be okay?" Shinji asked the girl with a soft but very bright smile.
Rei smiled back at him, her blue hair coolly framing her soft porcelain face.
"That would be…delightful, Shinji."
"Great!" Shinji said as his smile got even larger, "Then, let's go over to the produce section. I think it's this way."
Shinji made his way to the produce area with Rei following closely behind as she eyed the many packaged foods between the fresh meat counter and the harvested vegetable section. There were all kinds of snacks that Rei had yet to try.
After the battle with the fifth angel and Shinji's subsequent visit, she had grown somewhat fond of flavors whereas she previously had no opinion. She couldn't quite call food a passion yet, but it was quickly rooting into her as a form of enjoyment. Eventually, maybe even she would be interested in having cooking competitions with Shinji.
The two pilots casually walked into the produce section and soon saw one of their missing company examining a large onion.
"A-Asuka, th-there you are," Shinji exclaimed as Rei stared at the red head attentively.
Asuka looked up from the bulbous vegetable.
"Stupid Shinji?!"
The boy couldn't tell by Asuka's tone of voice if she was happy to see him, angry at him, or simply surprised. But, time would soon tell.
/
"Oh, where are those damn kids? How did I lose them so quickly? Ugh! It's so hard to keep track of them when they aren't in their Evas."
Misato had seen Asuka darting between the various rows of shelves multiple times as the purple haired babe searched for the kids. But, every time she thought she'd found the fleet-footed German, she'd lost her again only moments later.
To make matters worse, she hadn't seen a hint that Shinji and Rei where even in the vicinity. If Asuka was this hard to catch, how would the Captain ever dream of finding the other two pilots. They were both very quiet and this was a large store with lots of densely packed shelves and displays. The only thing that Misato had on her side was Rei's blue hair, which would stand out in a crowd, certainly. But what if Shinji wasn't with her? How would she find him? He kept a low profile and had no features that were as distinguishing as what Rei possessed.
"Ooh, this is hopeless!" Misato whined, "Hopeless! Hopeless! Hopeless!"
Misato hadn't realized it, but in her fruitless wandering, she had stumbled directly into the dairy section.
"Oh, how fortuitous," she moaned.
She stumbled forward as though she had been lost in a desert for weeks on end and was desperate for water. The babe over-dramatically collapsed in front of one of the refrigerated shelves and blindly reached for one of the various available products in front of her as she looked at the floor in despair.
"It's over. I'm doomed. I have no future without those kids. This is what the end looks like; the children adventuring through a complex maze looking for random munchies while the entire world falls apart around them. And me; they're oblivious to me as I lay dying here on the bright eternally-frozen edge of life and death. I've been left behind. Forsaken, forgotten by those I cared for. E tu, Shinji, Asuka, and Rei?"
Misato's wandering hand grasped a cold metal cylinder and removed it from the shelf. She held it in front of her face and read the label as her vision slowly faded.
"So, we meet again…whipped cream. How fortuitous indeed."
She pulled off the lid of the can, opened her mouth, and held the canister above her face as she prepared to fill her mouth with the light, fluffy, white, spray.
"Pardon me for opening this without paying for it, for I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god. Cold can of whipped cream, full of sweet delight, blessed are you among dairy. Pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
She then pressed her finger down upon the pressure nozzle and whipped cream hissed into her waiting mouth, before overflowing from her cheeks and piling up on her nose and eye lids. She swallowed what she could before letting her hand fall to her side, dropping the can. It rolled across the floor as Misato let the breath leave her lungs in a long and exaggerated fashion and her tongue lolled out of her mouth.
"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?! I NEEDED YOU TO READ STUFF FOR ME!"
Misato immediately shot to attention.
"That's Asuka!" she said as realization dawned on her.
She stood up, trying to locate the direction the angry voice had come from.
"YOU IDIOT! WHY THE HELL WOULD I FOLLOW YOU?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW ME!"
"And it sounds like she's fighting with Shinji!"
Misato then heard a very loud slap echo through the entire store.
"Ooh, that sounds like that hurt. I better grab some whipped cream and get over there before someone has to call an ambulance for poor Shinji."
Misato stood up and grabbed a few cans of the frothy cream before dashing off in the direction of Asuka's boisterous shouting.
She heard another slap, and then Asuka shouted, "NO, YOU IDIOT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IT'S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT."
Misato passed a shelf with some bags of chips setting on it and then stumbled around the corner of the aisle. There she saw a dizzy Shinji, a staring Rei, and Asuka with her hand raised, seemingly about to slap the boy yet again. Everyone in the general vicinity was eyeing the kids with confused looks of concern on their faces.
"There you kids are! I thought I'd lost you!" Misato shouted.
Rei and Asuka both turned to look at Misato while Shinji tried to keep himself from falling down. Asuka's face contorted and twisted at the sight of Misato.
"EWW! MISATO, YOU SLUT! YOU HAVE CUM ALL OVER YOUR FACE! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY DECENCY?"
"That is cum?" Rei asked as she oddly looked at the purple haired woman.
'Cum?' Misato wondered as she touched her hand to her face and felt the whipped cream squeeze through her fingers, 'Oh, silly me.'
"Oh, shush, Asuka. You've never even seen real cum before," Misato said as she rushed over to the kids so that she could hopefully keep them herded together.
"Okay, now, you girls can carry these," Misato said she handed the canisters of whipped cream to the two female pilots, "And, if you're done shopping, we really should pay and get out of here. This place is so confusing."
"I'm... done I think." Asuka said as she looked at the whipped cream smeared across Misato's face and shivered.
Shinji grabbed a couple vegetables and looked at Misato with a silly face as his head continued to spin.
"This is the last thing I needed to make Rei her food," the boy said as he stumbled back to the group of girls.
"Swell! Now let's get outta here!"
Misato placed her hands on Asuka and Rei's butts and sheparded them forward with Shinji in between them before giving each of the girls a squeeze.
"Hey, stop feeling me up, Misato!" Asuka cried before her lips curled downwards even further, "And don't let that cum drip on me!"
"Asuka, would you hush? It's not cum! Calm down and please don't run off again!" Misato begged as her fingers clenched around Asuka's butt a little tighter
"T-then what is it?!"
"It's whipped cream! Now would you shut that delicious little mouth of yours before I have to suck your breath out?"
"What's that supposed to mean? You're going to kiss me? With your cum face? Ewww!" Asuka asked as her lips trembled.
Misato glared at the girl with a deranged smile on her face and the redhead leaned away from her in terror.
"You'll find out if you don't zip your lips, Princess Honeybunch."
Asuka flinched and finally shut her mouth, knowing that Misato definitely wasn't above kissing her.
After a few minutes of walking, Misato had successfully guided the kids to one of the registers at the front of the store. There were a few times she'd felt Asuka's butt tense up as though she where about to make a run for it. But every time she did, Misato made sure to give her a nice, tight, lewd squeeze which caused the pilot to blush an insane red.
"Okay kids, get your stuff up on the conveyer belt!" Misato said as she smacked Rei and Asuka's asses, which caused Shinji to flinch. The sound of Asuka's slap was still fresh in his mind.
Asuka and Shinji warily inched closer to the belt and unloaded the contents of their shopping basket onto it.
"Hey, watch where you're setting your ingredients, you dope!"
Shinji immediately recoiled away from the girl, "W-what do you mean?"
"Keep your stuff separate from mine is what I mean!" the girl growled as she clenched her fist and pushed some of Shinji's food items away from her own.
Asuka then looked at Rei with an unamused expression and Rei looked back at her with her own bored red eyes.
"Here, First Child. Unload this stuff for me," Asuka ordered blandly.
Rei obediently stepped forward and silently began lifting the food from the shopping cart onto the belt as the cashier rung the items up.
"Oh, R-Rei," Shinji said uneasily, "you don't need to do that. I-I'll do it!"
Rei paused as Shinji took a jar of cheese sauce out of her hands and gently set it on one side of the belt. The small quiet girl nodded and silently watched Shinji remove the items from the cart.
"Ooh, Misato!" Asuka blurted, "They have Kinderschokolade here! Can we get it?"
Asuka held up a bar of chocolate in front of Misato's face and had a begging look plastered on her face.
"I guess," Misato sighed, "But you're paying for it."
"What?! Why?!"
Misato raised an eyebrow as she looked at the girl.
"You get a salary from NERV also, young lady. You can't expect me to pay for all your goods. Besides, I remember a certain someone telling me that she was an adult and that she was allowed to wear lingerie, despite how much she looked like jailbait. If you really are an adult, I'm sure you can pay for it yourself"
"J-Jailbait?! You…!" Asuka growled, "I'll have you know that I'm a fully matured woman!"
The cashier had an awkward look on his face that portrayed he was trying to mind his own business, but when insane people like this come along, it could be hard to.
Misato only shrugged as a smiled appeared on her face.
"Good. You're an adult then. So you can pay for it. I'm already paying for everything else you and Shinji are getting. So, I'm sure you can pay for that.
"Ugh, fine! I'll pay for it myself," Asuka huffed, "And to think I was saving up for a motorcycle!"
/
-Lords of Their Craft-
/
"I'm so glad to finally be home!" Misato said as she opened the door and breathed in the chilly air of her apartment, "No more wandering. No more lost kids. No more shouting."
Shinji and Asuka walked into the apartment shivering uncontrollably.
"D-d-d-d-d-d-damn y-you, M-M-M-M-Misato! It's s-s-s-s-so…c-c-cold inside a-and o-o-outside," Asuka said as her teeth chattered and a few stands of her rain soaked hair clung to her shoulders.
Asuka's usually warm yellow dress seemed very cold as it stuck to her skin, molding to her figure. Her erect nipples poked through the thin, wet, yellow fabric and her red hair heavily rested on her back.
"It's not my fault you didn't hold onto your umbrella. Maybe if you'd paid more attention to the forecast, you'd have seen that the wind speeds were supposed to pick up at midday. Besides, I don't see Shinji complaining."
Shinji glanced at Misato and gave her only the slightest glare that he could muster as he trembled and held onto both his and Asuka's groceries.
"And, if you're really so cold," Misato continued, "Maybe you should get to cooking. Get the burner going and you'll both be warmed up in no time. Maybe you'll even get toasty enough that you'd… take off your clothes," Misato joked.
"Eeeeeeep!" the German girl squealed and flung her arms over her chest protectively, "St-stop it! G-go be horny somewhere else!"
"Heheh, of course. I'll be horny while Rei and I eat your cooking from this morning."
"EeeeyaAAHHH!" Asuka screamed as she sprinted past Misato and around the corner leading to the kitchen, "I'm going to change out of these frigid clothes! If any of you peak, YOU'RE ALL DEAD! ESPECIALLY YOU MISATO, YOU PERVERT!"
"Teehee!" Misato giggled, "Well, now that that's taken care of, how about we make ourselves at home?"
The babe continued down the hallway before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a few of the sweet rolls Asuka had made earlier. Rei entered the kitchen next, followed by Shinji, who quickly turned on various cooking appliances with his cold numb fingers.
"Come on, Rei! Take a seat," Misato said with a cheery smile, "I have to make a couple calls, and then I'll be right back and we can eat some. I'm sure you're starving, and it'll be awhile before dinner is ready."
Rei moved to sit on the couch in the living room, just like she was ordered to, and Misato went over to the home phone and began dialing in numbers.
"Hello, Ritsu… Oh, don't be like that. I know you're glad to hear from me… Oh, well, yeah, I called because Shinji and Asuka are having a cooking competition and I need judges… This morning… Yeah, uh-huh… Wh-what? No! I did not… Okay, I might have given the girls a little squeeze, but that's all… What? I said girl. Singular. I most certainly didn't squeeze multiple girls. I mean, who would do that? Not me! Haha… Of course I wouldn't. Whatever do you mean?… Oh, okay, Rei is with me too and I might've given her a little pinch… Now! Now you take that back!-"
"Ahh, it's so good to be out of those drenched clothes," Asuka said as she stepped back into the kitchen.
Shinji's turned toward the voice of Asuka.
She was wearing the same heart-shaped red apron she'd worn this morning before she'd woken him as well as a red T-shirt and a red skirt. Though, she had neglected to put her A-10 neural connectors in her hair.
She trotted over to the kitchen counter and stuck her hands over the quickly heating stove top to check it's temperature.
"Hey, go get changed, will you? You smell like a wet dog. I don't want to smell that while I'm making food," Asuka demanded
Shinji nodded very slowly and backed away from the stove. Admittedly, she did look kinda cute and her hair down and her apron only made her cuter.
'She's going to hit me. I just know it,' the boy thought as a wild blush stained his face on his way to his room.
/
"Hey, thanks for having us over, Miss Misato!" Toji said as he waited patiently on the couch in the living room, "Having homecooked food is always great."
"Yeah, it was really kind of you to invite us over!" Kensuke added.
"Oh, it's no problem at all," Misato said bashfully.
"So, I take it you two are our Pilot's... classmates?" Ritsuko asked.
"Oh!, Y-yes ma'am! I'm Toji Suzuhara," Toji said.
"Well, nice to meet you! I'm Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, head scientist at NERV," Ritsuko said as she outstretched her hand, offering a handshake to Suzuhara, which he accepted.
"H-head scientist!?" Kensuke asked in awe, "So, you must know everything about the Evangelions then?!"
Kensuke held his hand out, practically begging Ritsuko to shake it.
"Haha, yes, that I do," Ritsuko said as she shook the other boy's hand as well.
After he shook her hand, Kensuke looked at his hand in awe.
"The head scientist of NERV shook my hand... I think I'm in love! I'll never wash this hand again!" the boy said to himself.
"Well, I hope you're all ready to eat. I'm sure our two cooks will be finished soon!" Misato said cheerfully.
/
In the kitchen, Asuka was trying her damnedest to teach Shinji how to make pretzel chilli dogs, but she wasn't having much luck. She had a quota to meet though, and so she forced the boy into her servitude temporarily to make sure she made enough of the pretzel dogs to satisfy the judges.
Shinji did his best to mimic Asuka as she made her pretzel dogs, but it was a tough task for the boy. He was constantly worried she was going to hit him. And his lack of concentration wasn't improving the girl's flaring temper at all, which only broke his concentration even more. It was a terrible cycle.
They boy barely managed to prepare just a third of the pretzel dogs before Asuka finished the other two thirds.
"There!" Asuka said as she admired her finely detailed work and compared it to Shinji's flustered product, "Now that we have enough of these, I can go back to my creamy onion soup and you can go back to making that disgusting vegetable ramen for the First Child that no one is going to like because they're all going to be drooling over my cooking."
Asuka then smirked at the boy.
"So, I suppose it's safe to say I've won, Third Child. You should just turn off the burners and accept defeat at the hands of the mighty and cultured Asuka Langley Sohryu," the girl finished as she sung her name while stirring various spices into her soup.
"We'll see about that," Shinji mumbled quietly enough that he didn't provoke Asuka while he shook some white pepper into the ramen broth he was making.
Asuka noticed the boy pouring some ground pepper into the pot. And Asuka being Asuka, decided to tease him.
"Hmph, I figured that would've been too spicy for a pansy like you, stupid Shinji."
"What are you talking about? I already put my secret ingredient in everything now since you seem to love it so much. And it's not like I make a separate meal for myself, so I eat just as much spicy stuff as you," the boy said just a little more hostility than he wanted to convey.
"Oh really?" Asuka said as she gave him a teasingly quizzical look, "'Cause, if I remember correctly, you told me that the orange chicken you fixed last week was made just for me."
"I-it was! But, the entire meal had the peppers in it; not just your serving!"
"Then why did you start crying like a little baby when I told you I tossed it?"
"I-I had a rough night! It wasn't…it wasn't the food that made me cry."
"Oh, well, then I guess it must not've been that special then," Asuka said with a shrug, "certainly not special enough for me."
Shinji frowned. He had made the food just for her. Why did she have to go and turn his good deed on him? He didn't know what this girl's deal was. All she was doing was running him in circles and he didn't know why.
"Asuka! Please! I made it for you. Why isn't that good enough?"
"Hmph, it sounds like you have a crush on me, doesn't it, stupid Shinji?"
As usual, an absurdly red blush colored the boy's face.
"What? I do not" he tried to say assertively, "I was just trying to be nice!"
Asuka looked at him with bored eyes and a tired, but still taunting smile.
"Are you mad, Shinji? You sound like you're mad that you won't ever get be with me."
Shinji decided to ignore the girl and go back to cooking. He was almost done with the ramen. After that, he just had to fry the steak, and cut it into pieces. Then, he could finally walk away as the victor and be done with Asuka for at least a couple hours.
Of course, he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight if he won. There would be no end to Asuka's screaming and ranting. But, it would be worth it.
"Yeah, you're really jealous. I can tell. Don't think I can't, Third child."
Shinji gave Asuka a look that said he really wasn't jealous, but it did no good. She would only continue to brag.
"Seriously though. I'm starving," Misato called into the kitchen, "You guys need to hurry or I'll have to eat up our little Rei!"
Rei silently turned her head and stared attentively at Misato.
The Captain looked back at Rei and licked her lips for emphasis...or as a joke
Rei waited a moment, and then slowly leaned away from the older woman before blinking. She remained silent and kept a straight face, but it was obvious she had taken Misato's words too literally.
Misato tried to keep her own straight face, but quickly faltered.
"It was a joke, Rei!" Misato hysterically giggled.
Rei blinked again.
"Rei, please! It was a joke!" Misato laughed as tears rolled out of her eyes and she struggled to breathe.
Rei only continued to stare at the Captain uneasily.
Ritsuko quickly scampered into the kitchen with a blush on her face, and awkwardly walked over to Rei's seat.
"Here, Rei. We'll just move you over a seat and get you away from this scary woman and I'll take your seat to make sure there's someone between you and her," Ritsuko said as she prompted the small girl to stand, desperate to save whatever innocence hadn't been corrupted by Misato.
"NO! RITSUKO, DON'T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!" Misato laughed even harder before running out of breath.
"Hush, you! Your jokes aren't funny, you degenerate vile woman!" Ritsuko hissed
Rei stood and kept a wary eye on Misato as she moved over to the next chair and let Ritsuko take her previous seat. And even after sitting down, Rei leaned forward to look past Ritsuko, and continued to stare at Misato, which only renewed her laughter.
"I- heheh, I think, heheheheheheh," Misato choked breathlessly before laying her head down on her arms and slamming her fist on the table, "I think I made her mad. I think I frightened Rei or made her mad and now I'm sad but I can't stop laughing," Misato drunkenly laughed as drool seeped out of her mouth and she slammed her fist on the table a couple more times.
"Done!" Shinji said as he held a bowl of ramen in the air.
"DONE!" Asuka shouted as she turned around with her own bowl of creamy onion soup.
Shinji walked over to Rei and set the bowl of noodles down in front of her.
"Here, Rei," Shinji smiled.
"What?! No fair! She should try mine first!" Asuka shouted in protest before also appearing next to Rei, and pushed Shinji's ramen away with her bowl of soup, "Here, First Child! I'm sure this will be much more to your liking."
Rei stared at the creamy soup Asuka offered her.
"Does it… have meat?" the girl asked quietly.
"N-No! It's creamy onion soup! What kind of question is that?! Do you not like meat?!" Asuka inquired as she leaned forward and looked Rei in the eye, trying to intimidate her.
"I do not…"
"Uuuuuuh…" Asuka awkwardly wondered.
Asuka's jaw fell slightly. This was bad. Most of her recipes had meat in them; the chili pretzel dogs she was making, the chicken fettucine alfredo that was almost done, and the Pizza she still needed to finish. If the First Child didn't like meat, then she would downvote her and she'd lose to Shinji.
'But wait!' Asuka perked up some as she came to a realization, 'Shinji is cooking meat too. Does that mean…'
"Misato!" Asuka snapped at the giggling drunkard.
"Yep?" Misato hiccupped.
"I demand that the First Child be disqualified from voting! She'd going to downvote all my dishes because she's anti-meat!"
"Oh, don't worry about it. Rei's only voting on the vegetarian stuff."
Asuka growled but didn't push her opposition any further. Instead, she diverted her fury to the other two schoolboy lounging in the living room.
"HEY, WOULD YOU TWO STOOGES GET OVER HERE! IT'S ALMOST TIME TO VOTE, YOU DOPES! WE'RE HANDING OUT SERVINGS RIGHT NOW!" the redhead shouted
Kensuke and Toji stood up and saluted at the girl.
"Y-yes, Ma'am!" They both said in unison before sprinting to the table.
Rei had just finished sampling both of the bowls in front of her and looked up to see Asuka expectantly waiting and Shinji smiling.
"So?! What do you think, First Child?" the redheaded girl said as she leaned in a little closer.
"It is…delicious…"
Asuka's lips curled down at the girl's vague statement.
"Which…which one?" Asuka asked for clarification.
"Both of them…"
"Whaaaaaa….?" Asuka said in a high-pitched and unsure voice.
Shinji went about getting servings of his ramen for the remaining judges, followed quickly by Asuka scurrying competitively to grab bowls of her soup, first handing one to Ritsuko, then Misato, Toji, and Kensuke.
"Hey! Me first, Third Child!" Asuka demanded as she shoved the boy out of the way, almost causing him to spill his ramen.
"Here you go, Doctor Akagi!" Asuka said as she smiled sweetly at the woman and handed her the soup.
"Why, thank you, Asuka," Ritsuko said as she took the warm bowl from Asuka's soft hands.
Ritsuko cringed, remembering the last time she'd eaten in the Katsuragi residence. Luckily, this wasn't Misato's damned curry noodles. And, though the soup smelled quite strongly of onion, it didn't seem totally unpleasant. And even if it was, it couldn't be as bad as Misato's cooking.
Ritsuko dipped her spoon into the soup as Shinji set his bowl of ramen down in front of her.
The two pilots handed out bowls to the rest of the judges and then waited patiently as they each sampled the food. Asuka cast an angry glare at Kensuke, and especially Toji, letting them know that if they didn't vote for her, they'd definitely be in some pain just as soon as Misato wasn't around anymore.
After seeing everyone had sampled the food, Shinji politely asked Ritsuko, "So, how was it, Doctor Akagi?"
Ritsuko sighed and laced her fingers together.
"It was good. But, I think Asuka's wins over yours. That's just me though. What about you, Misato?"
"I vote Shinji," Misato slurred, obviously having drunken too much.
Asuka's eye's narrowed and she looked at the two remaining judges.
"And you…" Asuka growled at the two boys.
"I vote Asuka!" Kensuke yelped.
"Sorry, Shinji! I vote for Asuka also!" Toji said, trying to hide his uneasiness.
"HA! IN YOUR FACE, THIRD CHILD!" Asuka cheered as she pointed at Shinji, "I win the first round! Now, go finish frying your stupid Shinji steak. All I gotta do is grill the chicken, and then my next dish is ready to go!"
Shinji begrudgingly walked back to the stove and started frying up his cubes of steak as Asuka grilled the chicken she was going to throw in her fettucine.
"Haha, this is great! So much food! You two are so great. I won't have to eat fast food for a month with all these scrumptious tasties!"
"We know!" The two chefs said together.
"Hey, Ritsuko, what do you think? You think I might get a little healthier?" Misato said as she nudged the doctor with her elbow.
Ritsuko looked at the woman and raised an eyebrow.
"With all the beer you drink? No..." Ritsuko said.
"Hey! I don't drink…THAT much beer," the Captain slurred back in response.
"Misato, what are you talking about?" Ritsuko asked as her face twisted into an accusing expression, "You take days of from work just so you can drink, and don't think I don't know either. You've been doing nothing but drinking since you got out of college. And, if I remember correctly, you told me you were drinking well before high school also!"
"Well, yeah. I drink! But…I don't drink THAT much, y'know? I don't drink so much that it impedes my health."
"Tell that to your liver," Ritsuko said as she poured another spoonful of the onion soup in her mouth.
"DONE!" Both of the pilots yelled before growling at each other.
Once more, the two cooks handed out samples of their food, Shinji presenting plates of lightly-breaded, fried, steak cubes and Asuka sliding bowls of creamy, white, chicken, fettucine alfredo across the table.
Asuka danced around in little circles while Shinji stood with his hands behind his back, both awaiting the judges' decisions.
"So? How was it? HOW WAS IT?!" Asuka shouted excitedly.
"I vote for…Asuka on this one," Ritsuko sighed.
"Asuka!" shouted Misato in a slur.
"Eh, I guess Asuka," Toji mumbled as he spun the noodles around on his fork.
"Hmm…I'm going with Asuka," Kensuke said after giving it a little thought.
"YES! YES! I HAVE THE MAJORITY VOTE! TWO OUT OF THREE ROUNDS! JUST FORFEIT NOW, THIRD CHILD! IT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR YOU TWO WIN AT THIS POINT!" Asuka screamed in absolute delight.
Shinji closed his eyes and sighed.
"Fine, I guess… I'll forfeit," Shinji said as he threw his hands in the air.
Shinji then sat down at the kitchen table next to Rei and they quietly conversed with the girl while Asuka finished making her Pretzel dogs, and her complement victory Pizza as she called it.
/
"Hey, I'm going to bed now. I'm so tired. Enjoy my cooking. And Shinji…" Asuka said as she glared at the boy before her frown turned into a smile, "Don't give up. I'm sure you'll do better next time. HAHAHAHA!"
Asuka left the kitchen and headed off to her room to go to bed.
The entire kitchen went silent as they waited and listened for the door to Asuka's room to slide shut. And once it did, they all burst out laughing, except for Rei and Ritsuko.
"Wait, wait. I don't understand!" Ritsuko looked around in confusion, hoping to find some answer, "What was so funny?"
"Oh, Ritsuko. Oh, Ritsuko," Misato moaned in between her laughter.
"That was terrible! The bitch deserved it though! Hahahaha!" Toji said as he put his hands over his face and tried to stop himself from crying through his laughter.
Even Shinji was laughing silently as Rei looked on, somewhat concerned at how red his face was becoming.
"That was so mean! But, it was so hilarious! I can't believe we got her!" Kensuke said as he struggled to hold his camera steady while filming the unrestrained hilarity.
"Wait! Wait, damn you! What do you mean you got her?" Ritsuko asked, still not understanding what was going on.
"The whole thing was staged; it was a set-up!" Toji said as his voice reach a high note that shouldn't be capable of a man his age.
"What? Who? How? Who did this? Shinji?" Ritsuko asked as she looked at the boy and started laughing some herself.
The boy could barely breathe, but he managed to get out a strangled, "No."
"Doctor Akagi, I believe there is something wrong with Shinji," Rei said as she looked up at the doctor, expecting guidance.
"Then, who?" Ritsuko asked as she looked at all the denizens of the table.
Then, Ritsuko realized it had to have been Misato. It wouldn't be the first time she'd come up with a crazy plan. Now, Ritsuko just needed to know why and how.
"Misato, it was you!" Ritsuko said.
Misato nodded as she convulsed in laughter.
"Why? Why would you rig this? I don't understand?"
"Becau- hahaha, Asu- heeheehee, bih-" Misato said as she collapsed on the table.
Even Ritsuko couldn't restrain her laughter now as she asked, "What?!"
"Because, I'm going to be hungover tomorrow morning, and if she lost, she'd throw a fuckin' bitch fit and I wouldn't get to sleep in. She already woke me up this morning. I want at least one day of the weekend to actually get some rest. Don't get me wrong, I love her with all my heart, but she's just too loud sometimes."
"But, how- hahaha, how did you do this?" Ritsuko asked as she too started to run out of breath.
"I got the idea after I called you. When I called Shinji's school friends here, I told them to vote for Asuka. They were happy to oblige."
"I mean, her food was okay," Toji started, "But, Shinji didn't even try and his was still better. I tell you, that fried steak really hit the spot."
"I just can't believe she didn't see it was rigged," Kensuke exclaimed though his laughter, "Shinji didn't even start a third meal while Sohryu was already cooking her fourth. Haha, it's like she didn't even see Shinji didn't intend to get past the second round. I guess her passion just got too wrapped up in her own cooking."
"That was kind of mean, Misato," Ritsuko said as she finally managed to get ahold of her laughter.
"Oh, trust me, I know her; it would be more mean to hurt her ego. Just let her enjoy it."
"You know, you have to admit," Shinji said as he grabbed a slice of the pizza Asuka had made, "This is pretty good pizza."
'Maybe…maybe I should thank her,' the boy though as he bit down on a slice of pepperoni.
/
"Urgh, I'm trying to sleep. What are those idiots laughing about? Probably some stupid perverted joke one of those stooges told."
Asuka pulled the covers over her head as she tried to drown out the noise.
Then, she heard a knock on her door.
"Yeah, who is it?"
"It's me, Shinji," the boy said quietly.
"Oh, come to pay royalties to your new queen of the kitchen?" Asuka said playfully, if still a bit abrasive.
"Uh, something like that," Shinji said awkwardly.
"Well, come in I guess."
They boy opened her door just enough for him to poke his head in.
"Hey, Asuka, I just wanted to say thanks…for cooking with me. …It was fun."
Asuka rolled over in her bed and faced the boy.
"Oh, being a good sport I see. Yeah, I guess it was…fun…or something. Anyways, get your perverted ass out, would you? I'm trying to sleep."
Shinji giggled a little.
"Yeah, of course. Goodnight…Asuka."
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*Eva credits roll and Fly Me to the Moon plays*
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"Why, yes! It is I; the beautiful, the amazing, the genius, Misato Katsuragi! And as always, I have arrived with the preview for the next chapter.
Shinji and Rei finally get to go on a super fancy date! But, Rei still doesn't have any fancy clothes. So Shinji and I take her to go buy some sexy- I mean, fancy! Fancy clothes, yes! I did not just say sexy! Sorry, I misread my script. Anyways, um, where were we? Oh, yes. We get her some fancy clothes, chosen out by me of course, and then Shinji takes her to a cute little cake and tea shop! EEE! I can't wait! It's going to be so cute! And, I get to have more fun with Rei! Next time, on Neon Genesis Evangelion: A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love; NERV and High Society.
Oh, and, there's more fan service inbound, of course!"
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Okay, everyone. A little bit of sad news. Not too sad though. It shouldn't be too impactful. But, I've decided to change a couple things with this story, so...chapters may slow down a little, (Psh, they're already slow though) just to make sure I have enough time to sort this out. I just want to make sure everything is refined, y'know? So, I'm going to be rewatching Evangelion. I might take off a little bit of time from writing, just to think about what I want to do with this story. And, then I'll be right back on it.
Also, as a note, the Halloween chapter will probably most certainly go up before the real official next chapter because the Halloween one is an insert. So, the chapter preview may not be representative of the real next chapter.
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Update: Okay, everyone, only ten more days until Halloween. I'm rewatching Eva right now and have not started work on the official chapter 8 yet, but the Halloween chapter will definitely be up on the 31st, so you'll all have something to look forward to. Also, I tried to do a little grammar and spelling correction on chapter seven this morning.
Update: Halloween Chapter is obviously up today. I'm still taking some time off from writing to clear this story up a little more. I'll probably begin work on chapter 8 and 9 soon. But, I don't want to get too far ahead of my thoughts. I apologize if it seems to take forever for chapter 8 to come out. It's for quality assurance.
Update: Okay everyone. I have a little bit of some weird news. As most of you know by now, I said I was taking a little time off from writing. But, I was doing some spell checking on the Halloween chapter this morning (11/1/2016) and decided that it might be a good idea to actually make sure to give my dear readers some extra content to make sure you guys don't starve while I'm ironing out the rest of this story. So...I'm formally announcing the Sunshine in the Morning chapter subset. It'll just be a couple short stories that follow the Halloween chapter. This will give me a way to buy some time for myself while also making sure that there is more content for everyone to read while I fix up my story. They probably aren't going to be too long, but they will serve as support for some of the future plot, though they will not be required to understand the story. I am a little tiny bit busy right now. But I intend to start writing these out in a couple days.
Update: The first chapter of the Sunshine in the Morning Chapter subset is up.
Update: Wow! It's been awhile since I updated. I've been in and out of the hospital. So, writing is going very slowly. Sorry everyone. But, hey, I'm not dead. So, the next chapter will be out soon...maybe...possibly.
Update: Ugh, I'm tired as fuck and I'm still in the hospital. But, good news. I uploaded the second chapter of Sunshine in the Morning! Yeah!
Update: Third chapter of Sunshine in the Morning will be out in like...7 minutes or so. (11/28/2016 7:59 AM)
Update: The fourth and final chapter of sunshine in the morning has been published. I'm now working on cleaning up and writing chapter 8.
Update: I know probably no one looks at these, but for anyone who does, I've written a bit of chapter 8 up. However, I'm also looking for some beta readers right now. So, my attention is not solely on writing. I'm a little disappointed with my writing right now, and would like to improve my story overall. To that end, like I said, I'm on the hunt for beta readers. Sadly, I know that the beta reading process takes a little longer. Which means that you might not get to read my chapters as often as you'd like. But, for quality's sake, I'm willing to make that sacrifice, and I hope all of my reader's agree with that decision. This story is going to be a long term project for me anyways. So, you're going to have to wait for the story regardless.
Update: So, I'm going to try to have chapter 8 out before or on Christmas day. I can't make any promises, but that's what I'm aiming for. Either way, the final update on this story is approaching.
Final Update: Chapter 8 is about to be published. So, the updates on this chapter are coming to a close. See you at the end of the next chapter.
