In response to all the craziness over TT: Trouble in Tokyo's premiere I have decided to also send my fanfic family to Tokyo. They shall be in the same time frame as the movie and don't worry any and all plotholes or questions you have will be answered in time. Oh by the way Robin is not and never will be smexy. So everyone on the Rob/Star boards stop saying that. Thank you.


Chapter 1: Tokyo Cuisine

Somewhere in a Tokyo hotel

General Rage slides open door to Dojo Suite revealing him and Blackfire, Sergeant Pain strapped to his Back

"And so our vacation begins, my dear family welcome to Japan!"He says

"This place blows."Says Pain

"Son I spent a lot of conterfited Yen to get this place," Says Rage "don't make Daddy's hardwork of ripping off those Yakuza deadbeats a waste of time by complaining."

"Can you at least cut me loose from this accursed back-pack Baby-carrier?" Pain asks"I had like five Asian girls laugh at me on the way up here."

"Let him down honey he's getting in his usual uppity mood." Says Black Fire

"Fine." Pain says as he Unstraps Pain and puts him on the ground "Happy?"

"No," Pain tells him "you know damn well I wanted to visit Iraq. Its Insurgent season over there."

"You're not ready for suicide bombers," Rage tells him "when you learn how to use 50 cal. Sniper then we'll talk."

"Its not fair how do you guys expect me to become a mercenary if I can't go to the hottest hotspots of the world." Pain complains

"Listen going to Iraq at this point in time would only get me unwanted press coverage." Rage explains "Also the US military still has that restraining order against me. I can't be in any country thats involved in their military operations. Something about me being a bad influence."

"You did set fire to that whole village of militia men in Somalia awhile back." Blackfire reminded him

"It was a thermite bomb and I was aiming for HQ not the gas station its not my fault if the launcher had a backlash." Rage said, defending himself

"So basically because the United States Military wants you as far away from them as possible I can't go to Iraq?" Pain asks

"Pretty much, also I've been banned from the island of Cuba for a year. There was some incident at Guantamo Bay involving a misplaced Koran, a toilet and some unplesantness I can never go back." Rage told him "Otherwise Fidel would have been dead by now."

"Great," Pain sighed "is there at least anything to do here in Japan."

"Well lets see, you check the tv," Rage began "Blackie check the ice box, I'll handle the bathroom.

Blackfire looks in Ice Box

"I think the last guy here left some Sakei inside!" Blackfire exclaimed "Could be useful for drunken love making."

GR checks bathroom and notices toliet begins to talk

"I am honored to accept your waste." Says the toilet

GR presses lever and the Toliet bowl begins to put on a colourful fountain show complete with jumping water all around the rim

"By god," Rage exclaims "they're years ahead of us!"

Pain turns on TV

"Wonder whats on." Pain wonders

"Buy American Robot Toys," Screams the commercial "Super High Powered, #1!"

"Whatever" he says as he Flips the channel "Oh this is that robot show that gave all those kids seizures."

Robots eyes begin to flash and Pain's Pupils dialate, he falls on the ground and goes into convulsions. Blackfire notices and comes over to check.

"What the hell are you-"

Blackfre Notices the TV and starts going into convulsions as well

Rage walks in

"Hey what the-"

Now Rage Starts going into convulsions. The Room Service guy rolls in and notices everyone. Shrugs and then falls on the floor pretendiong to convulse. Suddenly Robot Show goes to commercial

"Seizure Battling Robots be right back" The announcer says

Everyone gets up off floor

"Ahhh," says the room service guy "nothing beats old Japanese work out of traditional Anime Caused Seizure."

"Right. Look do you have food or are you just here for some random reason." Rage asks

"Actually I have come to escort you, our honored guest to the Sushi Bar on the ground floor" The room service guy responds

"Like a good little servant boy who follows my every whim?" Blackfire asks

"Uh...Yes." The Room service guy replies

"Lead away then useless drone." Blackfire orders

"At once your highness" says the drone.

Begins to lead everyone out door

"I could like this." Blackfire smiles

"They better have Salmon rolls." Pain complains

Later in the Sushi Bar

"I love the flow of this place," sys Blackfire "it just screams party. And these little Banzai trees are a decrotative and nice addition to the table."

"Pain, cross your legs, don't embarass us in front of the nice Asian people." Rage orders

"Oh yeah you try sitting like this for hours on end." Pain replies

Waiter shows up

"Honored guests, I humbly present you your dinner. The Dragon Roll for General Rage-San, The California Roll for Blackfire-Chan and for the little one, Nigiri Salmon with Salmon Rolls on the side."

Pain bites into a roll and spits it out

"You culinary quack! Where's the Tobiko? I specifically demanded Tobiko with my rolls! And why is my Nigiri Salmon not covered in Wasabi!" Pain screams in anger

"Well I thought-"

"You thought wrong thats what you thought!" Pain Throws the plate into a nearby wall "Now make it again!"

"I'm sorry, our son is a very picky eater." Rage apologies

"He won't eat his Cereal unless we pour carbonated 2 fat milk on it." Blackfire adds

"I won't have my stomach besmearched by lesser foods." Pain complains "Either make it as I want or I will go back there and slice all your heads off with a friggin cleaver."

"Can't we ever go to a nice restaurant without you threating the waiter?" Rage asks

"I never do that all the time." Pain says in his defence

"You told the guy at the Mcdonald's we went to last week you were going to blast his brains out with a shotgun because he didn't put ketchup on your burger and he kept the pickles." Blackfire reminded him

"Well you try eating pickles on a burger, who seriously wants pickles on a burger? Who?

Rage speaks to the the To Waiter

"Listen he's gonna go on about culinary stuff for awhile can you just slip him one of those tranqs into his drinks?" Rage asks

"We don't have any tranqs." the man replies

"Well I just assumed you guys did, considering this is Japan and all. You must get an unruly customer or two." Rage suggests

"We usually just challenge them to a Octopus eating contest with the head chef and they leave. We mostly get tourists anyway so nobody tries it.

"Look just go back and prepare his meal the way he asked, I'll handle him."

The Waiter heads off, GR looks at Pain

"Listen you," he tells his son "this is the first time in my life that I've been in a Foreign country and haven't had to worry about finding nourishment. Be thankful you weren't stuck in a jungle for days on end eating snakes and toads like I was."

"Dad I know you weren't Naked Snake okay stop pretending you were." Pain tells him

"Well I did have to eat a snake once...it was a gummy candy snake but that still counts.

Later after they have all finished

"Well that was filling." Blackfire says

"Meph, I give it 2 stars." Pain crticises

"If you weren't my son I'd slap you one." Rage scolds

"That would be a violation of child abuse laws. Sucks to be a modern civilization huh?" Pain snidely replies

"Well stop being a crab, its desert time anyway." Rage tells him

Waiter comes up

"Sir whilst we wait for the desert menu may I ask you try this sample of fine Japanese cusine?" The waiter asks

Holds out plate with a sliver of meat on it

"Uh what is it?" Rage asks

"Pufferfish."

"Pufferfish!" Rage says in fear "That stuff can kill you if it isn't sliced up right!"

"Oh no no, this is a different rare breed of Pufferfish. It won't kill you at all." The waiter assures

"Oh, I see." Says Rage "Well, I'd hate to contribute to the ever massing decline of a rare animal...but hey should have stayed away from the fishing trolley. Grabs sliver of meat and glups it down"

"How does it taste?" Asks the waiter

"Tangy I suppose." Rage admits

Chef runs up to waiter

"Um sir, you haven't given out that taste sample have you?" asks the chef

"Yes why?" Asks the waiter

"Oh well...you see I kinda sorta...messed it up with the cutting it up." The chef answers

"You what!?" Screams the waiter

"Yeah it was supposed to be below the gills not above it, silly me huh?" The waiter asks

Waiter turns to GR

"Um, General Rage-San, I hate to be the Cherry Blossom of bad news but...um...I'm afraid you have been poisoned." The waiter explains

"Huh? What are you talking about I feel-" Rage Collapses

Pain Rings a bell on the table \

"Check please" he says

Later at the emergency room, Rage wakes up

"Where the hell am I?" Rage asks

Blackfire, Pain and the Doctor's face come into view

"Oh my Commanding Conquerer are you okay?" Blackfire asks

"I'm fine honey, what happened?" Rage asks

"You've been F'ed up big time. Told ya we should have went to Iraq." Pain told him

"My mouth feels weird." Rage says

"General Rage-San," Says the doctor "I'm afraid you've been horrifically poisoned. You shallowed a great amount of bad Anime Pufferfish meat"

"Anime what?" Asks General Rage

"Anime Pufferfish, its an extremely rare fish." The doctor explains "While its poison doesn't kill you it...well. Take a look."

He Hands GR a mirror. GR find his eyes have been super animed in large cartoonish optics

"Oh my god!"

He Notices his lips aren't moving, they're flapping

"Why are my lips moving in flaps? Why can't I make lip movements? What with these ridiculous eyes? Why is my look of worry being characterised in my eyes whilst the whiten into circles with black stuff around them and my mouth convorts to a squigle line!?"

His Head grows big in anger as his teeth turn razor sharp and a vein forms in his fore head "Whats going on on!?" He screams

"Its the anime pufferfish poison." The Doctor explains "It has compeltely altered your genetic make-up and turned you into" ...DUM DUM DUM... "an anime character!"

GR holds his cheeks as he begins to stretch out and shake in mid air

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screams and Begins to cry a river of tears as they pour out of his eyes in a mass number

"Cool," Pain relishes "set him up in a hole in the backyard and we'd have our own swimming pool!"

GR runs out of the hospital crying as his feet kick up dust and he passes a one coloured fast-moving background, he then bursts out the door in magna style and continues running. Blackfire and Pain look on in amazement

"Well that was freaky." Said Pain

"If it helps any...welcome to Tokyo." Says the doctor

"Oh shut up." Blackfire tells him.