Disclaimer: If I (along with certain other writers of quality fan-fiction) owned this, do you think it would be ending like this? DO YOU! Holy Hell!

Author Note: First things first, this chapter was Co-Authored by GilmoreGirl1979. She helped me out by writing a large chunk of the dialogue and I helped her by letting her get her frustrations towards certain writers of certain TV shows out. Go to her stories and review them as a thank you. This is what we do here people…help out an author today!

Secondly, thanks to everyone that reviewed! You rock and I am sorry it took so damn long. But I have been crazy busy and sick. So please review this chapter and let me know how it went.

Finally, I am Mad! I am Sad! I am SMAD, SMAD I say! I just don't understand why they are ruining what works. I just have no words, no words for what they are going to do. I HOPE YOU REALIZE, ASP, THAT VIEWERS WILL BURN YOU IN EFFEGY! EFFEGY I SAY! YOU AND YOUR LITTLE CHRISTOPHER, TOO! We will put a new head writer in her place. DEBBIE FOR HEAD WRITER! Make your signs people, prepare your deviled eggs. It's wartime here.

Chapter 4: Try To Bury My Troubles Away

A few hours after Jess left, Lorelai forced herself to get out of bed and stop wallowing. She was berating herself for breaking down in front of Jess and feared that he would tell Luke. Lorelai wasn't stupid and she knew that Jess wouldn't have come here unless sent by a certain namesake that she would talk to later. Whether he really did come just to talk to Luke and her or if he came to see if the trouble in River City, with a capital T that rhymes with P that stands for postponing the wedding, really was occurring rather than it being just a figment of Rory's imagination, she didn't know. She hoped that it was the former that sent him here and that he truly did want to make amends for all the shit he pulled years ago. Being the bad seed herself, she realized that choices that some people make can have a domino affect on their lives and Jess just made the wrong ones, but was trying to amend that and make something of himself. She knew Luke had a hand in that and it made her proud because she knew that he would be and is a good father, that April was lucky to have him in her life.

She walked down the stairs thinking of all the times that Luke was there for Rory; showing his fatherly potential, being a father figure much more that Christopher. He brought her mashed potatoes when she refused to eat anything else, he came to a funeral for a dead bug, he came to her high school graduation, helped her move into college, and he would come to the college graduation. He was there for her first boyfriend, her first car accident, he interrogated her boyfriends much like a father would, and he gave her a family heirloom for her birthday. Lorelai knew that Luke subconsciously thought of himself as Rory's father, and Lorelai would be lying to herself if she disagreed with that fact. Luke was a great father to both April and Rory, and he would be a great father to any kids that they had together; she just wished he could see that for himself.

She sighed and entered the kitchen to make some coffee; trying to get herself out of the funk she put herself in, muffling the inner voice that says to tell Luke all her feelings on the issues at hand. 'He just needs more time,' she kept saying, like a sick mantra attempting to keep herself calm. 'Yes, he has had months and yes we are no closer to getting married then we were a year ago, but he promised that we would get married and have lobster. We'll be okay.' Over and over, she said this to herself, but the doubts that he was thinking of marrying Ana, that he didn't think she was ready to meet her future step-daughter, that he didn't really want to marry her, and that he really didn't love her, were getting louder and louder in her head till she could do nothing but scream and throw her coffee cup against the wall as a way to release some of her anger.

Luke ran into the house, slamming the door behind him, determined to talk to Lorelai. He freezes when he hears an almost primal scream and a shattering sound and hurried to the kitchen. The sight before him almost gave him a heart attack. Lorelai, standing huffing furiously, staring at the wall with coffee dripping down it; and her favorite mug shattered into little pieces all over the floor.

Lorelai seemed to feel Luke's eyes on her, noticing his presence and she turned to him. He didn't recognize the wild, almost crazed look in her gaze. As she looked upon him, she didn't even try to hide the angry tears streaming from her eyes, her breathing still shallow with fury.

"Jesus Lorelai… what happened?"

"Bad day," she said quietly.

She was looking at him with anger, and Luke hated to admit Jess might have been right. Lorelai seemed to remember herself, compose her self, and went to get a broom and pan to sweep up the shattered bits of her mug. Her chin held high, no doubt as Emily taught her to do, to put on the elegant debutant mask and hide her emotions again. However, Luke had already had a glimpse of the anger beneath with that fury filled gaze that she shot at him, and it hit his heart. He knew now that they must have it out, that they finally had to talk about the subjects they had avoided for months. He watched her crouch down to sweep up the pieces and Luke went to her to help gather the lager ones he could get a hand on and put them in her dustpan.

"I got it," Lorelai said shortly, "it's my mess, I'll clean it up."

"I'm just trying to help."

"Ha! That's funny coming from you," she said as she stood to put the first collection of the mug remains in the trash.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing at all," she said dully.

"Lorelai, talk to me."

Lorelai drew a deep breath, "It's just I don't remember you being so eager to help… when I was planning the wedding."

"You mean the wedding that planned itself?"

Lorelai glared at him, "I asked for your input when Sookie and I first started out but you wouldn't offer anything. Yes, it did plan it self and it was beautiful and perfect and now we lost all those deposits, all that money and for what? A wedding that no one will enjoy; a wedding that in all likelihood will never happen!"

"Is that what you are upset about the money and the wedding?"

"Luke, I always gave you credit for knowing me better than I know myself, but damn it the last few months your perception, you have to admit, has been a little off."

"June 3rd," Luke guessed. "Are you upset about June 3rd?"

"Of course, because there will never be a June third of any year that you will want to marry me… it will never happen…" she replied sarcastically, getting angrier that he still wasn't getting her point.

"Of course it will happen," he tried to assure.

Lorelai challenged, "Oh yeah… when?"

"I can't answer that right now," he said, hanging his head down, not wanting to meet her eyes.

"Because it will never happen! It's taken me months to see that and now I've accepted it…" Lorelai removed, with some difficulty, her once precious engagement ring. "Here… I won't need this now," putting it in his hands.

Luke stared at the ring in his hands, and then met her eyes again, "You're breaking our engagement?" Luke was taken aback at how far this had gone without his noticing. Everything he had ever wanted was slipping away right in front of him, and it seemed nothing he could say or do could stop it. Lorelai was a woman of her own mind and she was giving up on him, on them.

"You broke our engagement! You're the one who told me we had to be honest with each other! To tell each other every thing! Two months after that promise you finally tell me you have a daughter! You're the one who was freaked out by June 3rd, you're the one with the daughter that you won't let me meet! You're the one mysteriously sneaking out of town to see April and her mother like you are leading a double life! You know my history Luke! You know about Max and Chris and Jason! You know Rory, you've watched her grow up, some may say even helped raise her. You were like a father to her. Last year when I proposed we were talking about houses and kids and our life together and now we can't even talk about our wedding without you going white as a ghost. We can't talk about April because you think it makes me uncomfortable. Well, guess what! It does! I don't know who this woman is, who had your baby and kept it from you, all I know from what you've told me is that 'Ana is cool', which is a direct quote by the way!"

"I don't understand how you can be upset that I want to be a father! I am not Christopher! I want to make amends for not being there…"

"So does Christopher! He's paying for Yale to save Rory from the Gilmore obligatory guilt!"

"Then you should commend me! I'm not waiting till she's in college or needs to be bailed out. I don't just want to be absent and keep my kid waiting, like Christopher did to Rory. Ana didn't wait around like you did for years; she didn't even give me a chance to screw anything up. Now, I have to make up for that! I can't believe you of all people, who had a kid at SIXTEEN, would be angry that I have a daughter."

"Get out!" she yelled, turning away so he wouldn't see the tears that ran down her face at his hurtful words.

"That's right Lorelai, do what you always do and push people away. Never say what you actually feel."

"You want to know how I feel," she whispered quietly. "Right now I feel like my heart is breaking because the man that I thought loved me despite everything that happened before is telling me that it's my fault we are so messed up. I feel that no matter what I say you don't get what really is wrong with us. I feel like no matter how much we love each other it won't be enough. You can't let me in your life, no matter how much time and space I give you. I want to marry you, but not at the expense of myself being left cold and in the dark. So get out Luke, just go please."

Luke heard the break in her voice, the strained tone of held back tears and realized that maybe he went too far. "Lorelai, I'm so-"

"Leave!"

Luke, knowing that he lost this round, turned to leave, stopping briefly at the mirrored table to leave the ring, hoping she would take it as a sign that it wasn't over yet, that they just needed time to cool off, and walked out of the house. Lorelai heard the door close and fell to the couch in tears at the sound of the man she thought was "The One" walking out of their life.

AN: I teared and got all sad when I wrote it. GG1979 said, "My heart is breaking all over again." Overall response was good. So Review and tell me. Did it make you sad? Did it make you mad? Were you smad?