Disclaimer: I own it. I bought the rights from a cracked out ASP, a drunk, beaver singing DP, and the 'happy to be rid of it and its crazy internet fans' WB. I got it for a steal. $5.37 and a cup of venti coffee at Starbucks (DP had to sober up and drive the bitch home). It's mine now (sees lawyers in the distance). I bought it fair and square (the lawyers are getting closer and are brandishing cups of coffee). Okay, I give, just leave me my coffee. I said leave the coffee! I don't own, don't sue.
Author Notes: I know I know I know…I took a really freaking long time to post this. I have been going through a lot of stuff right now, so trying to find a moment to write this chapter was really hard. Anyway, I am sorry. Thanks to GG1979, my sister from another mother, because without her input I would still be chillin at Chapter 7: Blank blah.
BIG ROUSING THANKS TO shannanagin and her Office fic Laugh This Life With Me. She gave me permission to use the quote that starts her fic off in my story. The quote is the phrase, the wisdom, that Lorelai received in the hospital…well you'll see. But that is all her and I thank her for allowing me to use it.
A little background information on my story, namely a timeline because this chapter is going to get a bit jumpy. In the previous chapters, it is late May, early June. This chapter begins in early August, but then jumps to the beginning of July. If you have any questions leave them in a non-anonymous review, so I can then reply and explain my reasoning. Without any further ado, I give you my next chapter, which many have waited a long time for, Chapter 7 of What Can I Say.
I amended this chapter slightly to make up for continuity issues I was having with Chapter 8. Look for it soon!
Chapter 7: Find Me a Place Where the Bridge Doesn't Burn
Early August
Lorelai stood frozen, stunned at the sight in front of her. She opened her mouth, trying to speak, but only managed incoherent sounds. She closed her mouth and attempted to collect her thoughts. That was easier said then done as her mind was as frozen as her body. The only thoughts in her head were some words of wisdom that a doctor had given to her when she had had Rory. Over and over the words repeated in her head as she recalled the day the kindly, old doctor changed her life and gave her the strength to do what she needed to do.
She had been feeling sad, lonely, and angry that suddenly her life was over, she had this small human needing her, her own parents were barely speaking to her, and it had just gotten to be too much. She was sitting in the hospital bed, holding a crying Rory, while she herself cried, when this Santa Claus looking doctor walked in, sat on the bed, and held Lorelai's hand. He asked what was wrong and Lorelai told him; told him she felt overwhelmed at her responsibility, she was angry that the father didn't want anything to do with them, sad that her parents were anything but supportive, and just scared of it all. The doctor listened to everything and then said the most amazing thing.
"How do we know when it begins? That moment when life suddenly changes? Is it an explosion? A simple indrawn breath? Does it steal into our lives slowly like the night? Does in pounce and roar and let itself be known? How do we know that this is the moment? Or is this just another in a series of forgettable moments that litter our lives? The answer lies unfairly at the end. And the journey is often too long. How do we know that this is the worthwhile path? How do we know to take it? To let this moment move us? To let this moment shape us? We cannot know. Not now. The only chance we have is to close our eyes. Scream as loudly as possible and leap as far as we can. Into the unknown."
He had gone on to say that life is looking bleak and difficult right now because she was at a crossroads. She had to take stock of her life at the moment and do what not only was best for the child, but what was best for her. If she kept that as her goal, putting what was best for both of them before the wants of others, then she would be able to do anything. The doctor then picked up Rory, looked into the serious eyes of her baby girl, and said that they would be able to make it. As he walked out after putting Rory in her bassinet, Lorelai asked what his name was. He said he was Dr. Leigh.
It was Luke walking up to her and touching her hand that broke her out of her memories. She looked up at him, smiled, and hugged him. She knew the worthwhile path now, she knew her unknown, she knew that this was the moment; so, with a sigh that was a happy scream in her head, she leaped into her new life.
One month earlier
Lorelai walked into the house, dropped her keys on the table, kicked her shoes in a corner, threw her jacket on the floor, barely acknowledged Luke's hello, and went directly upstairs to her room. Luke walked into the living room, from the kitchen, expecting to see Lorelai, but was greeted with a slammed bedroom door. He looked up the stairs in shock and confusion, then turned to Rory, who was just shutting the front door.
"What happened?"
"What didn't happen. Grandma and Mom yelled and fought. Then when everything calmed slightly, Dad called my cell phone to ask about the new apartment and if everything worked out at the registrar for the new school year, so all the fighting started over again. Momand Grandma yelled and fought again, Grandma and I yelled and fought. I am sure that Grandpa and Grandma yelled and fought. It's some bizarro universe, where nothing is normal. It was like the Twilight Zone. I half expected to see John Lithgow show up."
"What happened?" Luke repeated, still not understanding.
"Though for John Lithgow to be present in his Twilight Zone wonder, we would have had to have been in a plane. Either way it was bizarre. For once, I agree with Mom, I am done with the Gilmores…well Grandma. Though if Grandpa keeps up with his 'a Princeton family paying for Yale. It just isn't done' bit much longer I won't be talking to him either. I mean, seriously, Dad can pay for Yale. It isn't like he has paid for anything else in my lifetime…"
"Rory!" Luke said strongly and irritated. "Why is your mother upset?"
"I promised I wouldn't tell you."
"But you said it was bad."
"I said I wouldn't tell you what happened, not that I wouldn't give you a graphic description of the atmosphere. Did I once say what everyone was fighting about? No, I did not," Rory said with a half smile.
"So dinner was bad and everyone was fighting about…"
"That is what I can't tell you," she said sheepishly.
"I liked you better when you were a blabbermouth," he said sarcastically before going up the stairs to the bedroom.
"Hey, I was like 9 when I was telling everyone that I was wearing Wonderwoman underwear. I would like to think I can keep secrets better now."
Luke paused on the landing, turned to her, and raised one eyebrow. "So, on her birthday…"
Rory flushed, "Okay, so I can't keep a secret. But she needs to tell you this on her own. It isn't my place. I don't even understand it all."
"There's coffee in the pot," he called over his shoulder.
"Can I say I am a fan of an In-Home Luke," she yelled up the stairs, before going to the kitchen and pouring herself some coffee. She took a sip and sighed before heading to the living room to watch a movie, "Way better than Yale coffee."
Luke walked up the stairs and halted in front of their bedroom. The door was shut and he hesitated slightly, trying to decide if he should go in or just wait till she came out. Then, remembering that they both promised that if one saw the other putting up walls or keeping something from the other, they had to be called on it right away, so he knocked on the door and walked in. The sight he walked in on though wasn't what he was expecting.
Lorelai was sitting on a chair by the window, staring at the moon and clutching a stuffed teddy bear he had won for her at one of the town's stupid festivals. She turned her head when he walked in and Luke was shocked at the tears running down her face. He walked over to the chair and wrapped her securely in his arms. Lorelai didn't hesitate to sink into his embrace and snuggled closer, glad that he was able to push away some of the pain and hurt she felt.
"Wanna go to bed?" Luke asked her softly, still holding her tight.
She nodded in response and Luke stood her up and pushed her in the direction of the bathroom, so she could complete her nightly beauty rituals. While she was brushing her teeth, Luke turned down the bed and found her favorite flannel shirt to wear. When she walked out of the bathroom, Luke could still see the traces of tears on her freshly washed face and he was filled with rage towards the Gilmore's for continuous hurting the woman he loves. He gestured to her to come over by him and he proceeded to help her change into the flannel shirt all while humming the "It's a Small World" in an effort to get her to smile. She chuckled lightly at him before giving him a quick, strong kiss and crawling into bed burying her face into the pillows in an effort to block out the day. After Luke completed his nightly rituals, he crawled into bed with her, pulled her close, and tried to give as much comfort as he could without going to the Gilmore's and bringing back their heads on silver platters. Lorelai snuggled into his embrace and attempted to forget everything her mother said to her.
Right before they fell asleep, Lorelai whispered, "I'll tell you what happened in the morning, I just need to sleep right now."
Luke kissed her forehead, "That's fine. I love you."
"Love you, too." Lorelai fell asleep that night knowing that no matter what her mother may say or do to her, as long as she had Luke, she would be okay.
AN: I know, I am evil, I left it so you don't know what happened. I am sorry. But it is all for the greater good. Leave your comments in a lovely review.
