Alright everyone, sorry about the long wait on this chapter. Hopefully, it'll be significant enough to make up for the fact I didn't post last month. Real sorry about that again. Sorry if the review responses seem a bit rushed...because they are. I'm operating on like four hours of sleep right now. And, damn it, I just need to get to bed, yo! It doesn't help that I've been trying to split my time writing AND talking to a woman! I know that sounds like...the life and all, but shit's actually stressful. Because, I'm actually trying to get this chapter out in a timely manner and I can't do that when I got Miss Smalltown Southern Girl vying for attention as well. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like her and all, but damn, son. I need to get this damn chapter out and she talks to me all day.

This story is why I don't have a social or romance life, I hope every single one of you realizes that. Though...maybe, if she does talk to me all day, perhaps I should give her a chance? I dunno. Probably a bad idea. ANYWAYS, here I am trying to be concise but I'm going down every rabbit hole that's even in a general vicinity of this barely visible metaphorical path.

andy. baker.3781: (I dunno what's up with Fanfiction's Document manager, but it won't lemme spell your pen name without a space. I'm sorry. I tried to get it as close as I could.)You don't need to worry about Misato. She's gonna get her turn. But, I just gotta work with her some, kinda like I have to do with Asuka. I gotta give her some ups and downs, that's all.

StratosOmega: Maaaaaan, I can't even begin to see what you're gonna think about this chapter. I dunno if it's gonna leave you laughing or smiling like the last two chapters... it probably won't. But... y'know, it's still a possibility.

Joker wx: Lemme just say, this chapter takes some turns. Not gonna talk about it right here in particular. But... I think, in this chapter, you'll see just how much a chapter can depart from a chapter preview. Why am I laughing manically as I type this? I've been awake for too long.

Useful76: So... uh... I mean... Yeah, I guess I'd say this chapter has some fucked up stuff. Not my most fucked up work by any means, but definitely fucked up in a way. But gut wrenching? Eh, I dunno... I mean... maybe if you've been paying really really close attention to some of the things I've been foreshadowing. But, most people probably haven't because most people are probably just along for the ride right now. Honestly, I really don't know what people are gonna think of this chapter, so I'm really excited to see the reviews.

Hellsink Bathhall: Ah, reddit, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't call it the shithole of the internet. But...sometimes, you do get massively down voted for like...no discernable reason whatsoever. Haha, I've only been there for a month and I've seen it happen to so many people. But, some of the subreddits are really cool. Shout out to UbiKeeba on the Ghost Recon subreddit. She's a real sweetheart. Best community manager ever.

And, uh, yeah, speaking of hectic personal life. Oooh, women. I tell you right now. Like, I have to push them away, man. I have to. I'm really sorry to any girls out there who do like me. I'm not that interesting, I swear. I'm partially crippled, partially blind, and I never leave my house. I honestly don't know what they see in me. I'm turning them down for their own good. PLEASE HELP ME, THEY'RE TRYING TO STEAL ME AWAY FROM MY WRITING AND I CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN! Damn it, I know that sounds gay, but I had pussy when I was younger. I DON'T NEED NO ONE LEECHING OFFA ME NOW! I already have ADHD problems and as much I love writing, it is pure suffering when I have to sit down and write. So... I really don't need anyone distracting me. And now I'm going down more rabbit holes. Please, excuse me!

Seeking Professional Help: So... I know you wanted some Misato stuff last chapter. And, I know you probably want some this chapter. She does show up for a bit this chapter. But, next chapter is definitely gonna have some Misato...as the end of this chapter will tell you.

origamishishou: I think the end of this chapter will appease your hopes of "a little more conversation and a little less face impaction" (See Asuka, haters? She makin' progress! She ain't not hittin' people as often in dis chaptah. lmfao) But, yeah, this chapter, Asuka might be a bit more civil. And, there's gonna be a bit of jealous fun at the end. Then, I'm gonna fuck it all up. But, no big deal! You guys know how things go! You have to give stuff to people so you can take it from them later. (That might be my new motto.)

Phantom Dark-Knight: Well... it's good to know that at least someone laughs at my sex puns!

Divine above question: Maaaaan, what a waste of a review! No valid criticism whatsoever. I'll entertain you though. If you are truly criticizing my story, please, PLEASE... Tell. Me. What's. Wrong. With. It. So. I. Can. Fix. It. Do not just say it's a trash story because that immediately turns your review into trash tier review that gives me no critical direction.

Now, that I'm done entertaining that prospect, I get the feeling that you're just not a fan of the pairings considering you didn't actually tell me what's wrong with it in your eyes. In that case, my only advice it to simply...leave. Don't read the story. If you don't like Asuka or you don't like Misato or you don't like Rei being paired this way or that... don't read the story. Because if you don't like one of the character being paired with another one... this story is simply not for you.

Miguelangel: Boy, oh, boy. If you like Asuka, you're gonna love her in this story. Wait until you see what I did to her childhood. Like, imagine if her childhood was like... I dunno... like a... Let's just say her childhood is like a little love letter that someone poured their heart and soul into... and then I came and burned it with a glowing red hot iron. That's what I did to her childhood...and her childhood was already fucked up, man. She's gonna have it worse off in this story than she did in the anime... but that's good because it makes her redemption more worthwhile and satisfying. Yes... before anyone asks, incase it wasn't already really obvious... Asuka suffers a lot in this story and she's going to drag everyone down with her, Shinji and Rei most of all. But as Hikaru Utada put it at the end of 3.33, "Everybody finds love... in the end." So... everyone, please look forward to it if you don't already!"

EvaFanatic: Oh, man. Were to start with this review. Well, let me say first that... I can't accept money from you. Even if I wanted to, I don't think... it would be ... entirely legal in the country I live in. Also, as per the disclaimer below, I do not profit off of this story. Now, I'm no law student by any means... but, I believe that if you paid me on a per chapter basis, I do believe that would be a violation of Fair Use on my part. So, while I am utterly flattered that you created an account just for me and wish to give me money, I will have to decline any monetary compensation for my work. ...because I would probably get the shit sued outta me and loose any money you did give me, haha.

But, if you'd like to give me your undying appreciation and give me reviews, that would be recompense enough. Because, you're right. I am writing this because I want to. And, even if I didn't have an account on FF, I would still be writing this on whatever parchment is available... as much as I hate seeing my hideous print and cursive writing.

Also, you don't need to worry about the amount of content...at least not for awhile. This story is gonna be pretty long. I'd expect like... AT LEAST another 300,000 words at the minimum. And, I have another Evangelion story planned after this one that will spin off midway through this one. So... Yeah, Man. You'll probably be set for at least a couple more years. I'd expect this story to continue being updated into 2020... possibly even after that.

I do get chapters out pretty slowly though. But, they're also much longer than...most other chapters I've seen on this website.

.

And, hoooooooooly shit! *Says In Mari voice*

I literally spent like 20-40 minutes (I really lost track of time) typing all those review responses and right before all that I said I wasn't gonna spend too much time on them. And I still gotta type up the chapter preview. So, yeah... You guys... Enjoy!

.

Text Guide

Standard Wording

"Spoken Dialogue/Speech"

'Internal Dialogue/Thoughts'

(Flashbacks)

/

[Slash denotes scene transition for the moment; this may be changed in the future so as to become more visible.]

.

Disclaimer: I do not own or profit off of Neon Genesis Evangelion, End Of Evangelion, or the Rebuilds of Evangelion. I do not own Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanami, Asuka Langley Sohryu, or any of the other characters/ideas from the Evangelion intellectual property collective. All licenses remain with the proper license holders. If asked to, I will formally remove this story from the hosting website.

.

*Cruel Angel's Thesis and Eva intro starts playing*


Neon Genesis Evangelion

A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love

Chapter 20

Lost in The Moment

.

Act II: The Quickening

You Can (Not) Advance

2.22

.

"You know, you don't need to do… whatever it is you're trying to do," Misato said coaxingly.

'And, I do have an idea of what you mean to do, ...Asuka,' Misato thought solemnly as she tried to keep a frown off her face.

"I don't care. I'm going to do it anyways," Asuka said coldly as she rested in the passenger seat of Misato's beaten-up blue Renault.

"I'm just saying that Kaji isn't going to… well, he won't be happy you're not in school. But, if you want to, there's not much I can do to stop you."

"You could stop the car and turn around..."

"Do you want me to stop the car and turn around?"

Asuka lolled her head boredly in Misato's direction, her eyes' emotions hidden behind a pair of heavily tinted aviators that looked strikingly like the ones Misato had bought for Shinji when he'd first relocated to Tokyo-3.

"No… No, not really."

"Then, I won't."

Asuka sighed and rested her head on her arms as she leaned on the car door, letting the rushing torrent of wind shoot through the rolled down window and into her hair. She breathed deep of the country air and could immediately smell something abstractly and distinctly green.

"I thought Kaji lived in town, not all the way out here."

"He was in an apartment when you and him first got here. But, sometime after that, he got a raise or something. I don't know or care. I just know he has a bit of money now. So, he got a nice house out here. Ritsuko says his bedroom is the size of my entire apartment," Misato sighed, obviously hoping NERV would pay her a lot more some day. She was in charge of protecting the planet after all.

"Hmph, he always was one to show off subtly," Asuka chuckled.

"Yeah, you're not wrong there," Misato said with a tinge of disgust.

They rode in silence for a few more minutes, though Asuka was sure they had to be getting close now. There's no way Kaji could live that much further out and make it to work on time every day without waking up at some ungodly hour. And, as she guessed, moments later, the GPS in Misato's car said that they would be arriving in one hundred meters.

"So, that's the place? Doesn't look as big at I thought it would be."

"Misato, could you come with me? I know he's going to have the door locked. He always has the door locked. And, I don't know for sure where the key might be. And, it would be helpful to have you along."

"Ehhh… I guesssss. But, I have to be at work soon." Misato said reluctantly as she rolled the windows up and pulled her keys out of the ignition, timidly exiting the car with Asuka.

They both approached the door to Kaji's residence. It was a nice house admittedly. The wood it was made from almost had a burnt orange color in the bright morning sunlight and there was a garden and green house on the side of the house surrounded by an artistically crafted black fence with many flowing curves being formed out of the metal. Each of the windows' views inside were obscured by what appeared to be heavy white curtains save for the window on the front door, which was still impossible to see through with the refraction it caused by its innate design.

'Well, at least he won't see me coming,' Misato thought to herself, hoping she could leave this place without being caught by Kaji.

Asuka and Misato finally arrived at the door and stood looking at it for a moment. Asuka reached forward silently and jostled the door handle, already knowing it would be locked.

"Yeah, I thought so. I should have known better than to try," Asuka said to herself with a sigh, "So, any ideas where he would have put it?"

"Eheheh, not really," Misato laughed nervously as she scratched the back of her head.

"Well, didn't you date him? Surely you have some idea?"

Misato's breath tensely caught in her throat at the mention of dating him.

"Not in a place like this, I don't. He and I always lived in apartments. And he always hid the key with the landlord; usually in the office. But, I'm guessing there's no landlord or office anywhere around here, heheh."

"Well, there isn't an office buuuuut..."

"But what?"

"There is that greenhouse over on the side of the house," Asuka said as her eyes lit up.

"The greenhouse? You really think he'd hide the key in something so… y'know… something so see through? I mean, maybe he just doesn't have a spare key anymore. Maybe we could just try ringing the doorbell."

"No, he always has a spare key. Always! There's no way he wouldn't. Besides, I think we both know he wouldn't answer the doorbell. He never answers the doorbell. He always made me do it back in Germany."

"Whoa, really? He always made me get the door too. Even if it was just the mailman or something, he would never answer the doorbell. I wonder why that is..." Misato said thoughtfully.

"Well, come on! Let's go check the greenhouse." Asuka exclaimed happily as she started skipping to the gate of the garden.

"Eh, uh, actually Asuka, I think I should probably be going. Ritsuko will be upset if I'm not up at work soon."

Asuka stopped in her tracks, the light in her eyes fading some, though she didn't turn around to let Misato see.

"Oh...well, Okay. I guess I'll just… yeah. ...Have a nice day, Misato."

Misato's eyes widened a bit at Asuka's kind gesture. It wasn't exactly like her to tell anyone to have a nice day. But, through the surprise, it did bring a smile to Misato.

"Y-yeah, you too… Asuka," she said as she watched the girl walk away before she too turned around and walked back to her car with a content look on her face, though there was still something troubling her.

'I just...wonder what's been going on with her recently. She's just been so...different recently.'

Though, she wouldn't have the chance to think on the subject as she caught sight of something absolutely bewildering. Inside of her car sat the man himself, Ryoji Kaji, taping his fingers on the steering wheel so casually that any passerby would have mistaken the car for his.

'HIM! WHY is he in MY car? HOW DID HE EVEN GET IN IT!? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!'

Misato's face was suddenly inflamed and she pointed an accusing finger at the man as he smiled cheekily back at her through the car window, obviously much more amused than she was.

"You!" Misato growled as the man opened the door and stepped out of the car.

"You know, it's rude to sneak up on people, Katsuragi."

"HOW did you get in MY car?!"

"Shoestring," Kaji said as he yanked a white shoe lace out of his pocket and dangled it in front of him jokingly.

"HOW?! How did you even know I was here?!"

"Well, cars aren't exactly quiet," Kaji said with a nonchalant shrug, "Though, some of them like the 2010 Genesis Coupe are a little on the harder to hear side so long as no one messed with the muffler. But they definitely still make that whooshing sound when they go by. So, I usually still hear 'em," Kaji finished with a wink.

"URGH! That doesn't even matter! Why are you in my car!?"

"Well," Kaji said as he turned halfway around and looked at Misato's car with mock confusion before turning back around and facing Misato, "I'm out of your car now. So, hopefully we can put that behind us. It's already behind me… literally," Kaji said as he pointed his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to Misato's Renault.

"Okay, Officer Smart Ass! Why WERE you in my car."

"To tell you that you shouldn't have brought Asuka here," Kaji said, suddenly getting a lot more serious.

Misato's anger quickly subsided and she looked down at the ground in what might possibly be called shame.

"Yeah, I… I know. But, she just wanted to visit."

"She wants to find another way to cling on to me."

"And? Why is that bad? You're still clinging on to me."

"That's true. But, I don't idolize you the way she does me. I still cling to you, but it's only because I haven't found someone else. And, I know you haven't either. And, with the kind of people we are, we may never find someone. So, the way I see it, we never really broke up; you've just been avoiding talking to me for eight years."

"Hmph," Misato huffed as she crossed her arms.

"Of course, you don't need to think that way if you don't want to. But as you know, Katsuragi, when I play, I play to win."

/

-One Day-

/

Of course, the gate to the garden had been chained shut. And, of course this wouldn't deter Asuka. She climbed up the metal gate, trying to wedge her shoes into anything that might help her push herself up and over. And once she'd finally climbed up the gate, she dusted her hands off and looked on excitedly at the greenhouse.

Examining it, she saw that there was indeed a key lying on a shelf inside the greenhouse.

"Hah, either I'm too smart or I know him too well. Maybe both actually."

The girl proudly strut forward, ready to receive her reward. She grabbed the handle of the door to the greenhouse, prepared to yank it open and-

"God... DAMN IT! Are you kidding me?! This is locked too? WHY DO YOU NEED TO LOCK SOMETHING THAT'S ALREADY BEHIND A LOCK?! Und warum sollten Sie ein Gewächshaus Sperren?! And why the fuck would you lock a KEY OF ALL THINGS. How are you supposed to open anything when the fucking key is behind not one, but TWO FUCKING LOCKS! This isn't a maximum security prison for fuck's sake! Gott verdammt es!" Asuka shouted as she covered her face with her hands in exasperation.

For someone who was heavily opposed to crying, she certainly wanted to cry now.

"Whyyyyyy? Whyyyyyy does he have to make everything so convoluted!?" Asuka whined as she rubbed her temples.

She finally looked back up. Disappointment flowed into her seeing the key sitting just inside the greenhouse.

"Ugh, whining isn't going to get me anywhere. I guess I better start searching. Or I could just wait. I mean, he's got to come out sometime today... But, waiting is boring. I should be proactive and look for the key while I'm waiting. Yeah! Awesome me! I'm so smart! ...Why am I talking to myself? Nevermind! The key!"

Asuka took a quick glance around the garden, but the only thing in sight were melon plants.

'Surely he wouldn't have hidden it under one of these plants, would he? I mean, yeah, it would be hidden. But, it would totally get lost too.'

Asuka walked over to the edge of the garden and grabbed the black metal bars of the fence, bracing herself against it as she leaned forward and looked outside the garden. Nothing really stood out to her with one exception however.

"Oh. My. Holy. Horseshit! Is that a welcome mat outside the front door? How did I not notice that when I walked up? I swear to God, if he hid the greenhouse key or any other key under that mat, I… am going to be SO PISSED."

/

"Ugh, Kaji, stop fooling around and untie me! I have to get to work!"

"Come now, Misato, we both know you like playing games. Besides, it's just a simple knot and a shoestring. Surely you can get loose."

"Kaji, I don't have time for this. I need to get to work. Ritsuko is going to be upset if I don't show up on time. So, can you just untie it."

"I could do that. But, I'm also wondering if I should speak to you about Asuka."

"Is this really the best time? She's literally right outside looking for your damned spare key."

"Ah, yeah, that. She'll be out there for a minute or two longer. I'm sure she'll be delighted to know that it's in the greenhouse. The greenhouse key on the other hand is... Well... under the welcome mat. So, there and back, and there again would be. Oh, one time over the gate. Two times over the gate… Uh, yeah, at least four times over the gate. Unless she finds the key to the gate which is in the garage in the other side of the house. But, how she'd get into the garage, I have no clue because I keep the garage keys inside one of my cars. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but I mostly just do it for the amusement it provides. And because it would be decidedly foolish to hide a key any place someone could easily obtain it. Now, that would be truly counterintuitive."

"Geez, just how convoluted can you make things?"

"As convoluted as my bored mind can come up with I suppose. I feel like I've grown a lot since the days of hiding the key in the landlord's office. He'd never find it..."

"Wait... You hid the key in his office? I thought you just kept it with him!"

"Nope. Like I said. Can't just put it some place they'll find it. Anyways, about Asuka."

"I didn't come here to talk about Asuka. I came here to drop her off so she could talk to you. Sort it out with her. I have to get to work!"

"Fair enough. But, don't bring her here anymore. If she wants to come by herself, fine. But don't drive her here anymore. It'll just encourage her," Kaji said as he undid the shoelace around Misato's wrists while she sat impatiently on Kaji's overly squishy couch.

"Ah, just in time," Kaji said more to himself than to Misato.

A moment later, the lock on Kaji's door slid aside, and in peaked Asuka's head.

Asuka gasped when she saw Misato sitting on the couch in front of Kaji. Jealousy started to flare up in her chest, but she didn't say anything and stepped the rest of the way inside.

"Hey there, Asuka. Don't mind Katsuragi. She was just leaving," Kaji said with a warm smile.

Misato glared angrily at him as she walked past him and tried to avoid eye contact with Asuka as she pulled the door open and left for her car. Asuka also chose to avert her gaze and looked at the ground somewhat in anger and somewhat in sadness.

After the door clicked shut, Asuka finally returned her gaze up, though not enough to meet Kaji's eyes.

"So, you invite her in but you leave me out there blindly looking for some stupid key. Am I really that undesirable?"

Kaji took a deep breath before exhaling.

"No. I partially just did it for my own entertainment. But, I also did it because I wanted to teach you."

"TEACH ME WHAT? TEACH ME THAT YOU THINK I'M A PIECE OF GARBAGE?" Asuka said as she raised her voice and finally lifted her gaze to meet Kaji's.

"No, Asuka. I'll explain. But, I need you to calm down first. You're looking into this too deeply."

"AND WHY ARE YOU EVEN TEACHING ME!? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW I WAS COMING?!"

"I have a tracker on Misato's car. And I just happened glance over at the GPS program on my computer and saw that she was driving out here. And, the only thing out here for her is me. So, I just naturally assumed… I didn't actually know you were with her until I saw you get out of the car. This whole thing was actually meant for her."

"So, you track her but you won't even pick up the phone when I call?!"

Kaji sighed again.

"What can I say? My phone's speaker is broken and I'm a busy man, so I don't get around to checking it very often. You can try calling me right now if you like."

Asuka, not one to turn down such a daring offer, pulled out her phone and speed dialed Kaji's number and sure enough, Kaji's phone didn't ring.

"Hmph, I bet you just have it on silent! Let me see it!"

Kaji pulled out his phone and turned it so Asuka could see it. He pressed the volume button on his phone and adjusted it higher and lower. The screen showed that the volume was going up and down, but true to his word, Kaji had proven the speaker wasn't working.

A small smile grew on Asuka's face.

"Sorry...for doubting you. I just thought… that you were… well, it's nothing. But, we need to find some way to talk more often."

"I suppose that could be possible."

"Do you think you'd be able to come over to Misato's place more often?"

"Let me answer your question with one of my own. Do you think you could start going to school more often?"

"Whaaaa!? But… why!? It's such a drag and we don't learn anything. All the teacher does is talk about second impact all day. And that's just a lie; a big stupid steaming pile of bullshit. There's nothing for me there! Besides, Misato pulls me out under the pretext of Eva training. So, it's not like I'm counted truant!"

"I know all of that, Asuka, but that's not why I want you to start going to school again."

"Then why do you want me too!?"

"That is for me to know and for you to find out… one day."

"Urgh! Why can't you tell me!?"

"Asuka, I want you to look in your hand. What are you holding?"

"Your… your stupid spare house key," she replied as she looked at the shiny metal piece in her palm.

"And, what did you intend to do with that key?"

"Unlock your door, of course!" Asuka said as she stomped the floor in frustration.

"And, did you stop to think for a second that maybe there was a reason the door was locked?"

"Yeah! BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE ME!"

"Asuka, please. You know that's not true. Stop being so irrational. I raised you better than that."

Asuka huffed and looked at the ground as she kicked her foot idly, letting her heel scuff across the tile floor.

"Why was the door locked, Asuka?" Kaji asked as he prodded her again.

"Because you're too secretive and you don't tell anyone anything."

"Closer, but not quite. It's because I want security."

"Well, what's locking your door gonna do for security when someone can just break the window?"

"Not that kind of security, Asuka. We're being metaphorical. I want security from many things. And, sometimes, it's not good when someone takes that security away from me… Even if I like them..." Kaji said as he placed a hand on Asuka's shoulder.

Asuka looked up at him, but she couldn't really decide how she felt about this whole conversation and so she returned her gaze downward.

"Asuka, you're never going to make any friends if you take away their security… whether that be security in themselves or their security in anything else; their surroundings, their beliefs, their friends and loved ones."

"Well… I already have friends, and I don't need any more!"

"Are they really your friends, Asuka?"

An image of Shinji flashed through her head, then one of Misato, and to a lesser extent, Toji and Kensuke appeared as well.

"Yeah, of course they are!"

"Don't lie to yourself, Asuka," Kaji demanded as the girl looked up at him uncomfortably, "It's fine if you really believe that. But, don't lie to yourself."

"I'm not!" she shouted in frustration as her heart rate began to rise.

'I… I am.'

"Asuka?"

"What?" she pouted.

"What are you going to use that key for?"

"I'll use it for whatever I want! That's what it's there for."

"Are you going to use it to take away people's security?"

Asuka was silent for a moment, thinking about exactly what she wanted to say. She didn't want to disappoint Kaji, but at the same time, she didn't want to lie to herself when she'd just told him she wasn't.

'Is… that what he means? That I can't… be with him? Because I lie to myself? Because… I'm not compatible with him? But...I could change. I could be someone else. I could be someone he likes. But… wouldn't that just be lying to myself again? Ugh, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER THIS.'

"I'll… use it for whatever I want."

"Does that mean you're going to take away someone's security when you could just let them open the door for you?"

"WHAT DOES IT MATTER!? YOU NEVER OPEN THE DOOR FOR ANYONE, LITERALLY OR FIGURATIVELY!"

"Because that's my choice. That's what makes me feel secure."

"THEN WHAT OTHER CHOICE DO I HAVE BUT TO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!?"

"You could try waiting outside. Or you could just peek in through the window. You could even walk away and come back later or not at all. It's up to you. You have plenty of choices; every choice in the world. And they can all be yours. And your choice... is to open the door."

"Yeah!? And what about it? What's wrong with that? If people aren't going to come out of their house, then someone is just going to have to drag them out!"

"But, you don't need to be that person, Asuka. Fate and life in general will take away a person's security enough times for one lifetime. They don't need you to pull them out on top of all that. And besides, if you can show them how nice it can be outside their house, you won't need to force them."

Asuka didn't really know how to respond to any of this. It made her uncomfortable and she didn't really want to talk about this, but she knew Kaji wasn't going to let her off so easy. And, so she simply remained silent, hoping to come up with something.

"So, Asuka? Are you going to use that key to take away people's security?"

Asuka balled here hand up into a first, trying to crush the stupid key as hard as she could until her knuckles turned white.

"I'll… I'll use it however I want… But… I'll try to use it…. responsibly."

"Then keep the key. But, just know that someday, you'll find that the key to life is not needing a key. After all, freedom from want is the greatest freedom of all… Or so they say. I wouldn't know."

Asuka still couldn't decide exactly how she felt, but she assumed that she'd at least given Kaji a satisfactory answer. Knowing that, she felt a bit of relief and decided to change the subject.

"Hey, um… Kaji… could we do something today?"

"Like… take you to school?"

"What?! You're still going to make me go?"

"Well, what good is a lesson if you don't put it to good use?"

"Ugh, but can't that wait until tomorrow or something? Can't we do something together today?"

"I can take you out to diner this weekend. But, we're not doing anything today. I'm already going to be late to work because I spent a bit too much time in the garden earlier this morning."

"Well… dinner sounds nice… But, I kind of had something else in mind. I mean, maybe we could try something a bit more intima-"

"Whatever it is, it's going to have to wait until the weekend."

"-te. Inti- Inti... mate Intimate..." Asuka quietly trailed off after Kaji interrupted her.

"Go to the garage and wait there. It's right through that door. I'll be there in a minute. I have to get changed into my uniform. I'll let you pick which car you show up to school in. With any luck, we'll get you there before first period starts."

Asuka submitted and began trudging towards the door Kaji had pointed at.

'Sidelined… again. I don't know why I even bothered. It's not like he's going to take my virginity anyways. I wish I could just cut my heart out… Wow… That sounded really emo. Next thing I know, I'm going to turn into a total edgelord that's so sharp I accidentally cut my wrists in my sleep. Guess I better go pick up some black hair dye after school today… just in case. But...then Shinji might not walk me home… Ugh, what am I even thinking right now?'

Kaji watched Asuka disappear behind the door to the garage with just the slightest of smiles on his face. She obviously had a lot on her mind.

'Well, I guess it's lucky I fooled around with my phone and broke the speaker last week. Otherwise, she would have called my bluff. I'm sorry, Asuka. But, I have been ignoring you. At least to a small degree. I don't intend to remove you from my life but… you need to find your own way.'

"Eh, I shouldn't feel so bad about it. It's for her own good."

/

-Truths, Lies, and The Bliss They Bring-

/

"Hey, just one last question before you go? Please?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"So… when exactly did you buy all those cars back at the garage?" Asuka asked with genuine curiosity as she sat rather more comfortably than she should have in Kaji's convertible chrome-red Mustang 69 with white racing stripes.

"Buy? No, no! I didn't buy them. I don't have the money to buy all those cars and a nice house. Believe it or not, the only car in that garage that's actually mine is the Rolls Royce. And, I got lucky with that one. Got it for completely free."

"Well, how do you own them if you didn't buy them?"

"I'm just… borrowing them. It's… part of my contract for being relocated here. Pretty lucrative if you ask me, even if I am going to have to give it up once I'm done with this job."

"And, what about the Rolls Royce? How'd you get that?"

"You know, you said that you were only going to ask one last question, young lady. And, now you've asked two more on top of that."

"Yeah, I know, but… just one more?"

"I told you. I got lucky with it. And I make my own luck."

"What does that even mean?"

"Hey, that's one question after your last question and four questions after your last last question. Six if you actually count the questions asking to ask more questions. Get on outta here, kid. The first bell's already rung. So, get to class. I'll tell you how I got it if you can manage to stay in school for an entire week."

"Whaaaat? An entire week? Is that a school week or like...and actual seven day week?"

"That's seven questions after your last last question. So, just for that, it's gonna have to be a seven day week."

"Whaaaaaa? That's not fair!"

"Don't ask any more questions and you'll find out eventually. Now hurry and get to class."

"Fiiiiine," Asuka groaned as she undid her seat belt and grabbed her absurdly red back pack before climbing out of the car and taking in the view of her boring and depressive school courtyard.

"Have a good day, Asuka!" Kaji shouted as he revved the engine in his car.

"You know I'm not going to have a good day until I have the same freedom you do. Even being an Eva pilot isn't enough for me. I want more. And, I won't be content until I have more."

"With that mentality, you'll never be happy. It's good to strive for things, but remember what I told you. Freedom from want-"

"-Is the greatest freedom of all. Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Just don't be upset if you don't always get what you want. And, seriously, try to have a good day."

"But wouldn't trying to have a good day incite that I want to have a good day? And, aren't you the one telling me to let go of my wants?"

"Bah, women these days. They can never keep things simple. And that's your eighth set of questions. Get to class already."

Asuka let out an amused huff as a smirk grew on her face.

With that, Kaji put the car in drive and sped out of the school parking lot...rather faster than he was legally allowed to. But, most of the students were already in class. So Asuka supposed there was no harm in it.

She turned on her heel and then casually walked to her homeroom class. Though, her mind was not as untroubled as her composure would have you believe.

'Damn it, Kaji. Why can't you just love me and spend time with me? I think I'm going to go insane.'

/

"You're late, Mistress Sohryu," The teacher mumbled.

"Yeah, I'm not illiterate and retarded. I can read a clock. I know I'm late."

"Oh, boy. Here she comes," Toji said, unsure of if he should be amused or disappointed.

"That language is unnecessary, Miss Sohryu," the teacher retorted.

"Yeah, and so was you announcing to everyone I was late. Like, we all know I'm late. I was doing business stuff."

"Uh, Asuka, maybe you could just come sit down next to me," Hikari suggested while trying to not sound too discomforted by Asuka's rudeness.

"Yeah, sure. I guess," she replied boredly as she began trudging over to the open desk next to Hikari.

"Mistress Sohryu, you're not in Uniform and there are no sunglasses in class. Go down to the Nurses office and get a spare uniform if you don't have yours."

Asuka stopped dead in her tracks and the whole class became completely quiet.

"So...what!? You harass me for being twenty seconds late first. And now you're actually asking me to go waste time and change into some stupid outfit so I can be more late? What do you people even want from me?"

"Miss Sohryu-"

"That's PILOT Sohryu to you, Sir! Don't you dare patronize me when you're in the position you're in. I'm above you, all of you; everyone in this room, I'm better than. And that's not an exaggeration or some self aggrandizing delusion either! I AM better than everyone in here. That is a FACT!"

"Well, not a fact. But, it is hard to dispute," Kensuke laughed under his breath.

"Miss Sohryu-"

"EVANGELION PILOT ASUKA LANGLEY SOHRYU!" she shouted viciously as she marched up to the teacher's face, "GET IT RIGHT! DO YOU GOT SOMETHING AGAINST ME!? AGAINST THE JOB I DO TOO PROTECT ALL OF YOU!? WHAT FUCKING PLANET DO YOU LIVE ON? ARE YOU SOME ULTRA BITCH THAT CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF WAR. YOU HATE ME BECAUSE I FIGHT TO PROTECT YOU ALL. YOU HATE ME BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO GETS MY HANDS DIRTY FOR ALL OF YOU- YOU- YOU INGRATES!"

'Nobody hates you, Asuka,' Shinji thought as he frowned.

"MISS SOHRYU, THAT IS ENOUGH! THERE IS NO REASON SPEAK THAT WAY IN THIS CLASSROOM!"

"No, Mister insignificant guy that I don't even remember the name of. No, that's not enough. Because, there's always that person, that one pathetic maggot, who's always going to hate me for doing the right thing. And they're going to give me shit for no valid reason. ...Are you that person, Mister?"

She turned around and looked at her fellow classmates, all of who were deathly silent.

"Do any of you… want to fight those things out there? ...You all think it's so cool. And you think us Eva pilots have it so easy. But, it's not. IT'S NOT! The pain you feel when you get inside of an Evangelion; it's like nothing you could imagine in your wildest most drugged up dreams."

"I do not like this," Rei whispered to Shinji.

"I know. I don't know what's wrong with her. She was really mellow this morning when I was cooking breakfast for her. But she left the apartment early for some reason. I guess something happened."

"So… do any of you want to get in the Eva for me. Or, do you all think, that maybe... I'm the only one who can handle my Eva? ...Because, you'd be damn right. I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HANDLE EVANGELION UNIT-02. AND THAT MAKES ME BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!"

Asuka then turned around and walked up to the teacher much more calmly than expected, and very quietly, her footsteps barely making enough noise to be heard over the tense collective breathing of the class.

"And you… You're going to tell me to do something as petty… as to change into … a Uniform?"

The teacher looked at the floor and remained silent and submissive.

"Do I look… uniform… to you? Do I look like I… belong with the rest of you; like I can just be lumped in with all of you? Like I can just fit in like a perfect little puzzle piece?"

"No… Pilot Sohryu," the teacher said, trying to appease Asuka and calm her down.

"Do you know… what my uniform looks like? I'm sure you've seen it. I'm sure everyone in Tokyo-3; hell, probably everyone around the world… knows what my uniform looks like. It's sleek and red. It really stands out. It would be hard to miss… THAT… is my uniform. Not these garbage clothes the school has all these poor indoctrinated kids wearing."

Asuka once again turned around and faced the students. She thought of everything in her heart and in her mind; everything she wanted to say. And, for a moment, she considered telling everyone, unreservedly, that what happened during Second Impact was a not what they all thought it was.

"Everything you know is a lie. Everything you ever learned here is a LIE! Everything that's ever been said in this classroom IS A LIE. None of you know the truth! But I-"

"That is enough, Pilot Sohryu. You are not legally permitted to share that information with anyone," Rei said as she stood up from her seat and looked Asuka in her eyes.

"Heheh, yeah," Asuka chuckled lifelessly, "...I guess that is enough, Ayanami."

"P-Pilot Sohryu, why don't you go out to the courtyard and just cool off for a bit?" The teacher offered.

"Hmph, I guess," Asuka said as she left the classroom without any further conflict.

"Miss Horaki?" the teacher asked as he stared absently at the door.

"Yes?" Hikari choked.

"Would you please ensure she doesn't try to leave the campus. And, try to have her back in here within the next fifteen minutes if you can."

"Um, yes...Sir. But, quite frankly, Sir, I'm not sure I'm cut out for that. Would it be okay if I brought a few people with me?"

"I… I suppose."

"Ikari? Can you and Ayanami come with me? I feel you two would have a better idea on how to handle this."

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"And, Toji, Kensuke, you too."

"Eh, I don't have much in common with her, but I can agree on the no uniforms thing," Toji mumbled as he got out of his seat.

"Well, I guess it won't be so bad if we're all there," Kensuke groaned as he stretched.

Hikari led the way out the door with Toji and Kensuke following right behind her. Shinji, however, wasn't so quick to move. He could feel the eyes of the entire classroom focusing on him and Rei. There where hushed whispers all around; children wondering left and right what it was that Pilot Sohryu had so boldly deemed a lie and, obviously, looking to Shinji and Rei for answers, even if their eyes were suddenly filled with distrust.

"Shinji, we should depart," Rei whispered solemnly.

Standing in front of everyone's wondering eyes felt like wading through waist high water to Shinji. And, perhaps to avoid being swept away in the torrent, he finally began taking a few nervous steps forward.

/

Shinji and Rei had caught up to Hikari and the others a ways down the hall and now, they were all staring through a mostly glass door as Asuka paced in a tight circle around a bench in the school courtyard.

"I… I don't know if I really know how to confront her when she's like this," Hikari moaned in a mildly distraught and concerned voice, "I can only imagine what it must be like for the both of you."

"It's… not easy," Shinji said quietly while Rei remained silent behind him.

"Man, what are we supposed to do? And what was all that stuff she was talking about lies and stuff back there?" Toji whispered as he glanced through the glass door.

"I will speak with her," Rei said as she took a step forward and pushed open the door.

"Whoa! Ayanami! What?! She'll pummel you!?" Kensuke whispered in shocked astonishment, convinced that Rei had lost it.

"Wait! Rei!" Shinji said as he also rushed out the door after her.

"Hey! Shinji! Stop! What are you doing?!" Toji asked roughly under his breath while reaching out in attempt to grab him and stop him, though his hand fell just short.

"Ehh… well, I guess there's no point in staying here now," Kensuke laughed deflatedly as he adjusted his glasses.

"Rei, maybe you should let me talk to her first," Shinji said while the door quietly swung open as Kensuke, Toji, and Hikari exited the building.

"Perhaps, yes," Rei mumbled in her traditional soft and airy voice.

Shinji looked cautiously over in Asuka's direction. At this point, she was sitting in the bench with her head hung low and her arms resting against her legs.

Shinji inhaled nervously and began walking in her direction. He didn't try to mask his approach, but Asuka made no indication that she noticed him, even as he became sure that she'd heard his footfalls.

He finally stopped and looked down at her red hair blowing in the soft breeze like dancing flames. But, he couldn't really find anything to say to her.

"What do you want, Shinji?" she mumbled.

"I...don't really know. I just came out here because I wanted to check on you."

"Don't lie. I know your only here because someone told you to follow me. I know you wouldn't have left class without permission."

"Yeah... maybe someone did. But, that doesn't change that I'm here now and that I'm trying to check on you."

"So, who was it? The teacher?"

"Kind of."

"So, he tells me to leave and then he doesn't trust me enough to even let me do that much myself."

"I… I don't know, Asuka. I don't care about that. What happened? What's wrong?"

Asuka huffed, and then straightened her back before pulling her sunglasses off and holding them in front of Shinji.

"Here's your stupid glasses back. I didn't need them after all."

Shinji sighed and plucked the glasses out of her hands.

"That doesn't tell me anything, Asuka."

Rei finally appeared at Shinji's side and looked down at the aviators in between his fingers.

"Why did she have your glasses, Shinji?" she asked, the objects obviously reminding her of Gendo's pair of broken lenses she kept on her dresser back at her apartment.

"I don't know. She's been sneaking into my room recently..."

"I have not!" Asuka shouted halfheartedly, only a tinge of embarrassment in her voice.

"Have you been stealing, Pilot Sohryu?" Rei inquired.

"N-no! He said I could borrow them earlier today before school!"

Rei glanced at Shinji out of the corner of her eye, trying to verify what Asuka had said. And, when Shinji gave her no reason to doubt the girl, Rei returned her gaze to the redhead.

"Why?" Rei asked stoically.

"None of your business, Wondergirl!"

"She didn't say why. She just wanted them," Shinji sighed.

"Why can't you all just get the fuck out of my business!?" Asuka huffed.

She stood up from the bench and pushed Shinji out of the way only to come face to face with with Toji, who was wearing a frustrated scowl on his face.

"Or, maybe you could quit being a bitch and tell us just what the hell is going on! This obviously isn't about some damn school uniform. So, spit it out," Toji growled as he pushed her back down into the bench and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"Get your hands off me, you asshole!" Asuka spat as she grit her teeth and growled right back at Toji.

"Uh, Toji?" Shinji questioned shyly.

"Ooooh. This could get bad," Kensuke said as he shivered at the tension in the air.

"Mister Suzuhara! Is that really appropriate!" Hikari gasped.

"Of course, it is!" Toji spat.

"But-"

"She needs this, Hikari!" Toji shouted back at her, cutting her off.

"WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE WHAT I NEED!?" Asuka screamed.

"Who are YOU to decide what YOU need?!" Toji shouted back her her, droplets of spit shooting out of his mouth, "Look at you! Your friends are here trying to help you and you're just brushing them aside like they're trash or something! I know you're a bitch but, IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU THINK OF THEM!?"

"SHUT UP! They're more my friends than they are yours!" Asuka spat back as she felt Toji lift her at least an inch by her shirt, "You don't even know what it's like! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE AN EVA PILOT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO ALL BE HOLDING EACH OTHER'S LIVES IN THE PALMS OF OUR HANDS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF BOND THAT IS! SO DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME ABOUT FRIENDS!"

"Hmph. That may be so… Maybe I don't know what that's like. But, if you really have that kind of bond with them, THEN WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU TALK TO THEM AND SHOW THEM THE CONFIDENCE THEY DESERVE!? ...At least I know how to treat my fellow human fairly!"

"BECAUSE THAT'S MY CHOICE! MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO START SHIT NO ONE CAN SOLVE! AND I DO TREAT MY FELLOW MAN FAIRLY! I TREAT YOU ALL EXACTLY LIKE YOU DESERVE! I'M THE ONE HOLDING ALL OF YOU UP. THE WORLD RESTS ON MY SHOULDERS! MY FRIENDS' LIVES ARE IN MY HANDS! AND I HAVE TO CARRY ALL OF IT WITH EVERYONE ELSE GRABBING ONTO MY ANKLES BEGGING NOT TO BE LEFT BEHIND! SO I DRAG THEM THROUGH THE DIRT… because that's all I can do… And if they're not gonna contribute, the dirt is where they belong."

Toji finally released his grip on Asuka's shirt and she slumped back into her seat uncaringly.

Everyone was silent. No one had ever heard Asuka speak this way before. It shouldn't have been surprising that was how she felt, but everyone took that moment of silence to reflect on her words when they wouldn't have before.

"Aren't you supposed to be their hero?" Toji asked as he finally found some way to respond to her.

"I'm no hero. I'm not saving the world for them; I'm saving the world for me," Asuka laughed.

'At least….I think I am. Am I really just saving it for me? Or… no… I'm not saving it for them, or for Shinji, or Kaji, or Misato. I'm not even saving it for myself. I hate this. I hate everything! I don't want to save the world at all. But...then...why am I doing it? So everyone will like me? No! I'm not that empty. I'm not! But… I am. I… I just want everyone to love me!'

"If you believe that… If you really truly believe that, then… quit with the all that empty noble rhetoric about trying to save everyone."

"What did you say!?" Asuka asked as her temper started to flare again.

"I understand it must be hard for you to do the things you do. But, no one wants to be saved by someone who doesn't want to save anyone."

"Excuse you! Did you think I had a choice in this?! I was told to do this ever since I was a kid! I don't care about anyone but me! But, I don't got a choice! I have to save everyone! That's all I know how to do and it's all I've ever done!"

"Yeah!? Well, if you're so tired of carrying us, then why don't you tell us what the HELL is wrong so that we can help!?

"You're so naive!," Asuka hissed as her lips curled in disgust, "YOU COULDN'T HELP EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO. YOU'VE ALL BEEN LIED TOO! YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO HELP!"

"Oh, yeah! What were all those lies you were talking about back in class. Then, maybe if we knew, we could actually do something about this whole thing INSTEAD OF HAVING TO RELY ON SOMEONE LIKE YOU TO KEEP US IN THE DARK!"

"You wanna know? YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?! BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU!"

"I asked, didn't I?" Toji said in a deep voice as he leaned over and got in Asuka's face.

"Asuka?" Shinji said unsurely, not wanting to hide the truth from his friends but also not wanting to face whatever consequences NERV may inflict upon him or the other pilots.

"Pilot Sohryu, do not," Rei snapped in an uncharacteristically demanding voice.

Asuka closed her eyes and took a breath.

'Moment of truth.'

"Second Impact is a lie."

/

-Einsam und Nicht-

/

"Second Impact is a lie."

Everyone was dead silent for at least thirty seconds. And, as was expected, Shinji, Rei, and Asuka were the only ones who weren't left wondering, but were instead left waiting for everyone to catch up.

"What do you mean Second Impact… was a lie?" Kensuke asked, being the first one to speak up, "I mean, how is that possible? We have proof it happened. This isn't like the big bang; this isn't just a theory of something that could have happened. It did happen. We know it happened. We have records."

Asuka's lips twisted into a sick smile.

"Oh, it happened. But, it wasn't a meteorite that caused it."

"Then… what? What happened?"

"An angel; Adam, that's the one that setoff second impact."

"Wait, what?" Hikari gasped in alarm.

"WHAT THE HELL? AN ANGEL CAUSED SECOND IMPACT!?" Toji shouted in disbelief.

"Toji!" Shinji hissed as he raised his hands in alarm, "Just- Just try to keep your voice down, okay?"

"I- Gah! Fuck, fine!" Toji said, trying to shush himself.

"Pilot Sohryu, please refrain from divulging anymore classified information! You are not permitted-" Rei started to say before being cut off by Asuka.

"Oh, can it, Wondergirl! I know what I'm allowed and not allowed to say and do. But, I don't give a fuck. I'm not gonna sit here and be forced into school just to be witness to the lies everyone is fed. It's insulting to my work."

"Asuka does have a point, but I don't think it's the one she was trying to make," Kensuke chimed back in after a realization occurred to him.

"And… what would that be?" Asuka asked boredly while giving Kensuke a look telling him he shouldn't steal her thunder.

"Well, think about it for a second. It doesn't make any sense, does it? Why would they hide something like that? I mean, seriously! What does that really change?"

"Are you saying I'm a liar?" Asuka growled.

"No, no! Not at all. The opposite, actually. Like I said. Think about it. NERV obviously hasn't tried to hide the existence of the angels. So, why would they try to hide that one? It doesn't make any sense except for maybe from a PR standpoint. But, for some reason, I feel like their public image isn't what they're concerned about despite how disastrous Second Impact was."

"Soooo… So what? What're you getting at, my guy? Is this another one of your conspiracy theories," Toji asked, not quite having caught up to Kensuke's line of thought.

"No, what I'm saying is… I don't think this cover-up was meant for us."

"That… actually makes sense. Why didn't I think of that?" Asuka mumbled as she put a thoughtful finger on her chin and bit her lip.

"And, that obviously leaves the million dollar question; who was the cover-up meant for?" Kensuke said proudly.

"You two wouldn't, uh... happen to know the answer to that, would you?" Toji suspiciously asked Shinji and Rei.

"No," Rei said plainly.

"N-no! Not at all!" Shinji quickly answered in an effort to clear his name.

"You suuuure about that?" Toji pried.

"Oh, lay off it, Suzuhara," Asuka groaned in exasperation, "If I knew, I would have told you. But, I don't know. And, if I don't know, they definitely don't know. ...Well, actually I wouldn't be so sure about that one," Asuka smirked as she gestured at Rei rudely, "She is the Commander's favorite after all. But, Shinji? Shinji wouldn't know anything I don't know."

Asuka then stood up and stretched.

"Hey, where'd you think you're goin'!?" Toji asked rudely.

"Back to class, you jerk off. Thanks for breaking down my door and destroying my security," Asuka said in a disgusted tone.

/

"Ah, Earth. A place of so many truths! So many lies! And so many perceptions to shape those truths and lies. So many people to adopt those perceptions and use them to make new truths and lies and lies and lies. And so the cycle of pain continues indefinitely, inflicting and receiving pain over and over without an end in sight all because they can no longer distinguish the truths, the lies, and the truths concealed within and without the lies."

A man with deep red eyes stared into the endless darkness and was able to see light as he gazed ever onward; never faltering, never taking his watchful and all-seeing eyes off of the planet in front of him.

"I will free you from your hate."

/

-A Song of Tears | The Three Little Bells-

/

"Ugh! How much longer do we have to stay here?!" Asuka asked for the fifth time that evening.

"No one's forcing you to stay, Asuka. You can go home if you want," Shinji stated.

"I said we, Shinji, in case you've become hard of hearing!"

"Well, I'm cooking dinner for Rei right now. So, I can't go anywhere."

Asuka groaned and peeked her head out of Rei's kitchen and into her living room where Rei sat patiently on her bed.

"You mad, Rei?!" Asuka shouted tauntingly across the room.

"No," she said plainly.

"You sure? You seem mad."

"Yes, I am sure. I am not."

"You mad!? You mad, Rei?!"

"No."

"You're not mad even though I gave out classified information?"

"No. I am not. Mister Aida had a point. I am... grateful you brought it up."

"What!? You mean you knew and you never even thought to ask why they needed some big government cover-up that doesn't even make any sense in the first place," Asuka scolded as she practically marched into Rei's face.

"Did any of us?" Rei asked as she stared right through Asuka's stomach, completely unfazed by the invasion of her personal space.

'Hmm. Touché, you bitch!' Asuka thought to herself in utter annoyance.

Asuka then knelt down so that she was at eye level with Rei.

"You know, you're a real piece of work for a doll," Asuka spat.

"I am not a doll."

"You mad, Rei!? You mad!?"

"No."

"Urgh! Why not!?"

"Because."

"BUT WHY!?"

"Because I'm not."

"You mad, Rei!?"

"No."

'What's wrong with her? It's like whenever I try to annoy her, it just ends up annoying me! What the hell?!' Asuka thought, trying not to scream.

"You mad, Rei!?"

"No. I am not. Why do you persist in asking that?"

"Ooh, you look here, Missy!"

Shinji sighed as the two girls bickered rather one-sidedly and tried to focus on his cooking.

'I hope that Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari don't tell anyone about Second Impact. I mean, they said they wouldn't... but, you never know,' Shinji said as he absently gazed down at the food he was cooking.

He was stir frying some squash and mushrooms with some pepper slices and diced tomato. Recently, it had been one of Rei's more preferred meals. And, Shinji did have to admit, he was pretty confident that even someone who hated vegetables would have liked it. So, he secretly increased the portion size in case Asuka decided she wanted some, even though the girl had told Shinji repeatedly that she was adamant about going home and having beer battered chicken in lemon sauce. Not that he could blame her. If there was one thing he could bet his life that he was good at, it would be cooking.

And, quite suitably, right about now, his stir fry seemed to be on the verge of perfection. And, just as he was about to call everyone to dinner, a shriek from the living room made him jump. He couldn't tell for sure, but it sounded like it could have been Rei as it certainly didn't sound like Asuka.

"Rei!?" Shinji asked in slight alarm.

"What- What the hell is wrong with you?" he heard the muffled voice of Asuka ask uneasily from around the corner of the room

He immediately pulled the pan off the stove top and turned the burner off.

Another shriek from Rei followed by a pained moan and that was all it took for Shinji to bound into the living room with a scowl on his face.

"What did you do to her, Asuka!?"

"ME!? How dare you! She just started freaking the fuck out! I didn't do anything to her!"

"Shin… ji..." Rei groaned.

Shinji disregarded Asuka and turned his attention to Rei. Her arms were shaking insanely, almost like she was seizing, as she gasped for air or cried out in pain occasionally.

He rushed over to her and grabbed her hands which only caused her to scream louder. He wasn't sure if he should let go of her or not, but he felt bad for causing her more pain either way.

"Rei!? Rei, what's wrong?!"

"Burn...ing. It burns," Rei gasped.

"What!? What's burning!?"

"EVERYTHING!" Rei screamed like she'd never screamed before.

"Okay, Rei! Just stay calm, okay? Okay?! Asuka, can you call Misato?" Shinji pleaded as his voice started wavering and a chill ran down his spine.

"Yeah… Yeah, okay!" Asuka said as she pulled out her phone with shaking hands and speed-dialed Misato.

"Shinji!" Rei gasped as she squeezed her eyes shut, obviously in immense pain.

"Yeah?! Yeah, Rei?! I'm here!"

"It hurts," Rei whimpered.

"Fucking pick up, Misato! What the hell is going on? What the hell is going on? What the hell is going on? What the fucking hell is going on?!" Asuka repeated to herself frantically while waiting for Misato to respond.

"Shin… Shinji?" Rei struggled to say through her clenched teeth.

"I'm here, Rei!"

"I love… you."

"I love you too, Rei. You're going to be okay," Shinji whimpered, trying not to cry.

"I hope… I will. Hurts. Burn...ing," Rei stuttered as she opened her eyes and looked up at Shinji.

But the eyes that looked up at Shinji were not Rei's eyes.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" Asuka shrieked as she jumped in terror and dropped her phone as her entire body lost control of itself at the sight she saw.

Rei's eyes were glowing a deep intense purple. Shinji was completely horrified at what he was seeing. But, at the same time, it was mesmerizing. The moment she opened her eyes, surreality washed over Shinji in a way it hadn't in a very long time. And, for as worried as he was, for as much as he wanted to help, he could only stare at those eyes; those searing violet eyes that had stolen the place of Rei's rubies.

"Shinji?" Asuka whimpered as she knelt over and grabbed her still ringing phone up from off the floor.

The boy didn't respond and Rei's moaning steadily continued to get louder and more pained.

"SHINJI!?" Asuka screamed again while holding her phone to her ear, hoping Misato would just pick up.

The Third Child was still lost and couldn't tear his eyes away from the suffering girl in front of him.

"SHINJI! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER?!"

"I don't KNOW, ASUKA!"

"What the FUCK is going on?! HER FUCKING EYES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING GLOWING LIKE THAT! THAT'S NOT NORMAL!" Asuka screamed as she trembled harder and harder by the second.

"I KNOW THAT, ASUKA!"

Finally, Misato picked up the phone, and just the smallest ripple of relief washed over Asuka.

"MISATO! PLEASE!- … NO, MISATO, THERE'S SOMETHING FUCKED UP HAPPENING WITH AYANAMI. … I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! Her face. Oh god, her eyes. JESUS CHRIST, I CAN'T LOOK AT IT ANYMORE! JUST HURRY! I THINK SHE'S DYING! GAH-"

Suddenly, Asuka choked. She felt pressure in her chest and before long, it changed from discomfort to pain. She immediately fell to her knees and clutched her ribs.

"Uuuuuuugh, fuck! FUCK!" Asuka groaned.

"Asuka?" Shinji asked as he turned around to inquire as to why she'd gone quiet and fallen to the floor.

Asuka could hear Misato yelling frantically through the phone, but she couldn't understand anything. For the moment, she was just trying to understand what was happening to her.

Her ribs felt like they were being crushed, ground, and shattered. And before long, she felt even more pain manifesting itself; something cold in her diaphragm and a certain sharpness in her uterus. All this pain seemed so familiar to her, but she couldn't explain how or where she'd felt it before.

"FFFFFFFFFFUCK! FUUUUUCK!" She screamed as she felt the stabbing pain in her stomach and hips surge immensely before she couldn't take it anymore and completely collapsed to the ground, laying on her side as she watched her red hair brush across the floor not even an inch from her eyes.

"Asuka? ASUKA!? WHAT'S WRONG?!" Shinji shouted

She looked back at him with the strangest and most haunting smile. But it wasn't her smile that made Shinji freeze.

Asuka's eyes had also begun to fade back and forth between blue and purple as they too occasionally glowed.

"I don't know… Shinji. I think I'm dying," she cried breathily.

"NO! DON'T SAY THAT!"

Asuka blindly grabbed for her phone and weakly pulled it up to her ear.

"Misato, please… HURRY. REI'S DYING. I'M DYING. I DON'T WANT TO DIE. GAAAAHH, FUCK! Urgh, ehuhuh, fuck, it hurts. FUCK!" Asuka shouted before she gave up on speech and began simply screaming as Rei had.

Mortified; that was all Shinji felt. He had no idea what to do. Misato was still screaming through Asuka's phone, though he could barely hear it over the painfully audible suffering of the girls. Hopefully, if nothing else, Misato could call someone for help. But, who? Who could she call? Who would be able to do anything?

'I don't want to pilot the Eva alone. I don't want Rei and Asuka to die. I don't want to fight alone. I don't want to do anything alone. Why? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!?'

Shinji got off his knees, regrettably leaving Rei screaming on her bed. But, he had to get to Asuka's phone. He turned around and took a couple steps before kneeling down beside Asuka. Her eyes had gone completely purple at this point and she was screaming as she clutched at various parts of her body every couple seconds.

Shinji reached out for Asuka's phone as it sat on top of a few locks of her hair. However, as soon as he did, pain completely enveloped the right side of his face and his left forearm. And, like the other two pilots, soon he was screaming too.

'I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS PAIN.'

The last thing he remembered before collapsing to the floor...

...was the sounds of the shrieking girls blending right into his own screams.

.


*Eva credits roll and Fly Me to the Moon plays*

.

"Wow"

*Misato looks up at ceiling in reflection*

"Yeah. That was pretty... wow."

*Kaji nods and scratches his scruffily beard*

"Hmm, I wonder what happens next."

"Oh, stop. You know what happens next. Why don't you get on with the chapter preview before I have to take over again."

"That was one time, Kaji!"

"One time? Well, that's been a lot of one times, Misato. You're starting to sounds like Asuka asking for one more question just so she can ask... one more question."

"Y'know, you do this every time. And, it just makes me remember why I broke up with you."

"Oh, the pain. Almost as painful as the end of this chapter!"

*Door to recording booth creaks open*

*Fuyutsuki leans in boredly*

"If you two don't hurry up with the chapter preview... I'm going to recommended to Commander Ikari that he docks your pay."

"My bad, Vice Commander. I was trying my hardest to set her back on track. But, alas and alack, she's avoiding the smack...as well as the flak."

*Kaji waxes poetical*

*Kaji winks*

*Kaji gives a sparkling smile*

*Misato chokes swallowing spit*

*Misato glares at Kaji*

"That's a bit tacky, don't you think?"

*Misato clears throat*

"Ahemhemhem! So, next chapter... kinda... it starts badly. I'll tell you that much..."

*Kaji stares expectantly at Misato*

*Fuyutsuki stares expectantly at Misato*

"And, uh... Yeah... Basically, everyone ends up possessed... and I have to take them to the hospital. And Doctor Akagi has to preform an exorcism... three of them actually. It... sounds like great fun! Yeah! Just kidding, I don't even know what's going on! Why are their eyes glowing? Why do I have to take them to the hospital next chapter? What even happened to them? Is this some zombie outbreak?! Is that what this story was leading into? Just a big zombie infection thing where the undead try to preform a coup on NERV?"

*Kaji snatches script from Misato*

"Okay, Misato. I think you've had too much caffeine today. Anyways, all those questions and more will be answered in the next chapter of Neon Genesis Evangelion: A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love; When Suffering is Right."

"And don't forget the-"

"Yeahyeahyeahyeah, and the fanservice. I didn't forget, Misato."

*Fuyutsuki checks his watch*

"It's about time. This chapter should have been out an hour ago! Commander Ikari is gonna be pissed..."

*Fuyutsuki leaves recording booth*

"What does Commander Ikari even do around here?"

*Kaji opens mouth to answer*

*Kaji considers if he should hold his tongue*

*Kaji speaks anyways*

"That's a good question because no one actually knows. I figure that's something I should look into."

"Oh, great. Here he goes with pretending to be a top secret government agent again."

"Well, hey! When you are a top secret government agent, pretending to be a top secret government agent comes naturally."

"I'm not speaking to you for the rest of the day. I hope you realize that THAT right there is why I broke up with you."

"Ehh, you know you still love me!"

.

Update/Final Update: Alright, everyone. I know updating this shit has gotten away from me. But, I'm about to post the next chapter. So, see you there.