So, as I'm sure everyone was aware, July 4th was the two year anniversary of this fic... as well as The United States of America's anniversary. So, yeah, been typing this shit for two years now. Kinda puts everything into perspective. Probably still gonna be at least another two years before this is finished if not longer.
But, hey, forget about that! Haha, we can celebrate anniversaries after I've finished this fic. Or alternatively, you can go celebrate by yourself by buying a cupcake, sticking two candles in it, and blowing them out for me. And if you wanted to send me a picture of it, that would be fine too. Anyways, on to review responses.
Mike Kromer: Haha, yep. She so jealous. She may just end up doing something about it in a few chapters. *Wink wink*
Useful76: Interesting? Eh, hehe. I dunno if this chapter is that interesting. Unless, of course, you have an eye for picking out my foreshadowing. Which, if you do, of course, that does suddenly make it a bit more interesting. Some of it is obvious, but some of it, not so much. See if you can find all my hints! You can even count them up if you please. You never know when some little detail I put in may come into play later.
Hellsink Bathhall: Ah, sadly, I'm not very familiar with very many horror movie and consequently, am unfamiliar with Gothika. Hahaha, and now that I know about it, I'm probably never gonna be able to watch it because I'm always trying to find time to write.
Oh, and yeah, about Ritsuko prescribing the kids painkillers, she is aware of what could happen. But, in this story, I've sort of tried to characterize her as 'detached from strangers.' She has friends. And she has a moral compass. But, I've tried to make it where she doesn't rely on her moral compass quite as much when it comes to people who aren't her friends.
In essence, I've tried to make her care about her friends and not care about anyone else. So far as I can tell, that's mostly in line with her. She doesn't seem to put a lot of faith in people in the anime, and even less so in the manga. She realizes when someone has done something wrong and she may not agree with it and she may even admonish those who do wrong, but if it's not her problem, she doesn't personally care about it unless it affects her. She doesn't go out of her way to intervene in other people's activities even if she disagrees with their course of action.
This is also going to tie into her relationship with the Eva pilots. The Eva pilots aren't personally her friends. And so, while she'll sometimes voice her concerns over them or may not agree with how they're treated, she won't intervene on their behalf unless someone is asking her professional opinion on what should be done for or regarding them. So, while she knows that painkillers may not be a great option to give to a bunch of mentally ill kids, if she's told to by one of the higher up, she will prescribe them even though it could arguably go against the Hippocratic Oath if she feels it could do more harm than good.
But what are they gonna do? Take away her medical license? Hahah, maybe if she weren't so important to nerve. But, like the pilots, since she works for NERV, she has a level of immunity when it comes to laws.
origamishishou: Hahahaha, I'm happy I was able to deliver Ritsuko's character in such a manner. "102 percent done with reality not making sense," that is exactly what I was going for, hahahaha. I'm happy I was able to pull that off.
Seeking Professional Help: Yeah, honestly, it may not have been the best word. But, I was sort of trying to set a tone and I didn't really wanna beat around the bush with it. I was just trying to make everything grounded is all.
Anon1: Yeah, I really did purposely try to make Asuka seem a lot more vile in her earlier chapters. That could have turned out badly because... I know Asuka isn't everyone's favorite character and that making her even more of a raging hormonal bitch could definitely turn a lot of people off from reading the story. But, I also thought it would make her redemption so much more satisfying in the end. So, I took a chance and made her even more unlikable with the intent to build her into a significantly more likable character over time. Be warned though, this story is nowhere near finished yet and we still have lots of twist and turns to take. And Asuka will not be the only one along for the ride; everyone is on this rollercoaster. *Wink wink*
Miguelangel: Well, it certainly seems like a lot of people like how I wrote Ritsuko last chapter. Maybe I should consider writing up a few more scenes in that nature. I'm happy you enjoyed her.
Blackplant: On the off chance you come back to the story and read this, I just wanted to thank you for leaving me an honest review. I really do appreciate it. And I also send you a Private Message thanking you in more detail. Happy trails!
Linkin-Phoenix: Ahhhahaha, yeeeeah. Actually... believe it not, I... I really hate writing. I know that must sound really strange coming from someone who sits here and writes a ...like, what is it at now? A 345,000 word story. But, yeah, I actually really... hate... writing. Or maybe it's more of a love-hate relationship. I like having ideas. I like organizing my ideas into something meaningful. I like sharing my ideas with everyone. And, I like that writing lets me do that. But... there is nothing I hate more than actually sitting down and writing out my ideas. It is so tedious. It's usually not very representative of the details I had in my head. And... it just... takes so much time. I can think up a scene in an instant. But, I have to spend an hour writing it out.
My personal ranting aside though, I have taken your criticism into account and I would now like to ask something of everybody reading this right now. If everyone could either leave a review or PM me about how many words you'd like to see in a chapter, that would be a great help. I have some people say some of my chapters are two short. I have others say they're too long. My chapters themselves vary a lot in length. Honestly, so far, my usual determining metric (If it can actually be called a metric.) for chapter length is just how well stuff flows and what ideas I intend to stitch together. I haven't had very much information on exactly how long people would like to see my chapters be other than just "it's too long" or "it's too short." And I'm sure there's plenty of people who don't even comment their thoughts as well. So, sometimes, it's kinda tough trying to find a nice place to balance my chapter length on aside from my preconceived ideal that I intended most chapters to be around 10,000 words.
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Chapter reviews aside now, I have a tiny announcement to make. I may or may not be taking a step back from writing for just a little bit. It wouldn't be anything to long or serious. but, I just feel like I've gotten some good criticism from a fair amount of people and I may want some time to mull over it instead of writing myself into some kind of corner. It's probably not going to come to that. But, if it does give me enough reason to paused my writing, I may stop to think it over for a little bit just so I can get my writing right the first time.
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Text Guide
Standard Wording
"Spoken Dialogue/Speech"
'Internal Dialogue/Thoughts'
(Flashbacks)
/
[Slash denotes scene transition for the moment; this may be changed in the future so as to become more visible.]
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Disclaimer: I do not own or profit off of Neon Genesis Evangelion, End Of Evangelion, or the Rebuilds of Evangelion. I do not own Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanami, Asuka Langley Sohryu, or any of the other characters/ideas from the Evangelion intellectual property collective. All licenses remain with the proper license holders. If asked to, I will formally remove this story from the hosting website.
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*Cruel Angel's Thesis and Eva intro starts playing*
Neon Genesis Evangelion
A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love
Chapter 23
The Minutes On The Clock
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It was lunch period at the Academy of Tokyo-3 and Shinji and his friend group had retreated to the school rooftop to eat. It was a relatively breezy day and the wind chill help drive off the heat. But the wind wasn't so fierce that is was disruptive.
"So, you're going over to stay the night at Rei's place, huh?" Toji asked as he nudged Shinji's side.
"Yeah, I just figured it would be a..." Shinji paused to glance at Asuka, who was glaring at him, "...a nice change of… pace!"
"Cool, cool. As it happens, Kensuke invited me to stay over at his place tonight too. We're gonna watch some boring historical documentaries or something to help me with history class."
"They're not boring, Toji! They're actually really cool and interesting if you'd just pay attention to them!" Kensuke retorted.
"Oh, what is this!? Some kind of conspiracy against me!?" Asuka shouted with a mouthful of fried summer sausage in her mouth.
Everyone except for Rei paused and looked at her.
"Huh!? What're you goin' on about?" Toji asked curiously but with suspicion.
"Everyone is trying to get away from me and don't think you can hide it!" Asuka said as she pointed at everyone accusingly.
"Well, I mean, sure, you're not always the most enjoyable person to be around. But we're not like… purposely trying to exclude you. In fact, I'd say we've done more to include you than anyone else at this shitty school," Toji said before taking another bite of food.
"Huh!? Since when!?" Asuka asked.
"Uh, I dunno," Toji mumbled with his mouth full noodles, "Maybe ever since Shinji brought you into our friend group."
"That doesn't count!"
"Yeah? Well, you could be eating lunch alone! And we still kept your secret too!"
"What secret!?"
"That one about second impact being a lie. Everyone else probably would have gone and started telling everyone."
"Th-that doesn't count either!"
"Heh, always making exceptions. Then what does count, Sohryu? Because, as far as I can see, we're the only friends you got as much as you may hate it."
"That's the whole point! None of you are my friends! You only associate with me because Shinji makes you!"
"Uh… Um- I..." Shinji stuttered in confusion.
"Hey! Now that's just not tru- …okay, that might be kind of true! But we're still better friends to you than everyone else! So why can't you just be happy?" Toji said after rethinking his statement.
"Because I hate everything," Asuka said under her breath silently while looking down at her box of food with a moody expression.
'Shut up! Shut up, Asuka. YOU CAN'T FUCKING SAY THAT!' the redhead internally berated herself, 'If you… If I keep thinking that way...'
/
-At a Minute or Two 'til Two Today-
/
"So… you're really gonna leave me alone with Misato?" Asuka mumbled as she kicked a rock while she trudged along with Shinji and Rei as the arrived in the parking lot of Rei's apartment.
"I'm sorry, Asuka!"
"But, Shinji, she can't cook!"
"I know that!"
"Then why are you leaving me with her!?"
"I- I don't know!"
"What if someone snatched me off the street on the way back to Misato's place!? What if you weren't there to help me!?" Asuka asked as she waved her hands around wildly.
"Y-you used to say that I would attack you!" Shinji accused the girl with an embarrassed blush on his face.
"I- I did not! When did I ever say that!?"
"You used to say it all the time when you first moved here!"
"Okay, fine. Maybe I did say that a few times. But its different now!"
"Uh… right," Shinji mumbled bashfully.
"Pilot Sohryu, if you require sustenance, you are welcome to stay for dinner," Rei said as she began climbing the stairs to her apartment.
"What! But! I- That- That would be weird! I'd be like.. a third wheel. It would be so awkward," Asuka said with a blush and a surprised expression.
"Well, you're already sort of here. But it's not like you have to stay," Shinji said coaxingly.
"Well, yeah, but, I don't want to go home alone and eat Misato's cooking either."
"I suggest you decide soon. You won't be imposing on us either way," Rei said quietly.
'Ugh, the way she says that makes it sound like I am imposing," Asuka thought to herself as she gazed at her hands gripping the rails in the stairwell continuously pulling her closer and closer to Ayanami's door, 'And I mean… I am! I'm not… I'm not one of them. They're in a relationship and I'm just… following them everywhere. I must seem like such a freak. Why? Why am I here? What am I doing with my life?'
Asuka quietly followed the other two pilots up the stairs. Once they arrived at the door to Rei's apartment, Rei pulled out a key to unlock it. Much to Shinji's relief, he had convinced her to have a proper lock installed on her door a few months ago so that he and anyone else would no longer accidentally barge in on her as he did once so memorably before.
After the lock had been undone, Rei opened the door and entered her apartment and Shinji followed after her. But, Asuka remained just outside the apartment, staring though the open door into the dark dusty room that was Ayanami's home.
"Asuka, are you coming in?" Shinji questioned as he stared back at her.
Asuka felt her heartbeat thud in her chest, realizing she was making a fool out of herself by standing in the doorway. She could feel another blush spreading across her face as well, and it didn't help her feel any more comfortable.
"Yeah! ...Uh. Um, I mean… No. I just, uh… I'm going to go back home- Erh, I mean, to Misato's place. And, uh… Well, I was just… I was just going to help out around the house… or maybe… cook something… or just watch TV. I don't know," Asuka stuttered as she forced a smile and brushed her hair out of her face.
"Well, if you want..." Shinji said with an awkward smile as he began to slowly close the door.
"Wait, but Shinji!" Asuka said as she pressed her hand on the door to stop it from shutting.
"Hmm?"
"Um… can we do something this weekend? Erh- uh, tomorrow!? Tomorrow is Saturday. Could we do something ...Together, I mean since we're… uh… family?"
"Uh, yeah, sure. If you want."
"Oh, uh… o… kay..."
Asuka then reached for the door knob and pulled the door shut.
"Okay, now I just gotta… find a way to listen to what they're saying," Asuka said as she dusted her hands off.
She immediately pressed her ear to the door. Though, it proved to be futile. All she could here were jackhammers going off in the distance.
Realizing that wouldn't work, she instead began looking for a window, though it appeared as though there were none. At least not this side of the building.
She headed back to the stairwell and looked over the railing next to it so she could get a view of the side of the building.
There was on window but, it looked like it would be difficult to get to. There was a small ledge jutting out from the side of the building. But, it was only a couple inches, hardly enough for her to stand on.
"This… this is stupid. If I fell, I would be dead. Am I really considering risking my life just so I can… so I can creep on them?"
Though, despite her misgivings, she continued to swing her legs over the edge of the railing. Once on the other side, she lightly press her foot on the ledge, trying to find a comfortable balance.
'Ugh, that's not gonna work. How am I going to do this?'
She lifted her foot off the ledge and then rotated her body so she could try a different position before returning her foot to where it had been. However, her ankle gave out and her foot slipped, causing her to finally loose her nerve. Luckily, she still had a tight grip on the railing.
"No! Nope! Nevermind! I don't want to die! I'm just going to go home!"
'Ugh, what was I thinking? Why would I do something so stupid?' Asuka wondered to herself as she climbed back onto the balcony.
/
"I'm still worried about her. But, it is kind of nice with just the two of us," Shinji said while he cooked Rei's dinner, which was mostly a variety of stir fried vegetables and a pot of steaming rice with a variety of savory sauces and chili oils.
"Yes, this is pleasant. You should not worry about Pilot Sohryu. She will be fine by herself for one evening."
"Yeah, she'll probably be okay... But still, sometimes she just does things that she... probably shouldn't."
Rei could see that Shinji wasn't completely content with leaving Asuka behind. And, so she decided that perhaps, a distraction was in order."
Rei got up from her bed and walked into the kitchen, her bare feet hardly making any sound.
"You should show me."
Shinji looked over his shoulder at the smiling girl.
"Huh? Show you what?"
"Show me how to cook."
"Oh, uh, well, yeah. Um… it's kind of… it's kind of hard and easy at the same time. But, uh, how about this?" Shinji said as he let go of the pan he was using to stir-fry Rei's vegetables.
He then took her hands and put one on the pan and then handed a spatula to her other.
"What do I do now?"
"Well, I think it would be good to start with something simple. And, this is pretty easy. All you have to do is move the vegetables around with the spatula. There's other ways to stir fry stuff. But, they're a little more tricky so we can get to that later."
"So, I just move them like this?" Rei asked as she nudged a couple onions.
"Yeah, you just move them around. It makes it so that the same things don't get too hot while other things stay cold. When you move them, you can distribute the heat to everything faster without having to overcook part of it. Of course, if the temperature were lower, you could let them set and simmer. But, because we're frying them, we have to keep the stove a little on the hotter side," Shinji said with an innocent chuckle.
"You seem like you know a lot about cooking and are very passionate about it."
"Eheheh, well, living with Misato, someone has to know how to cook. But, I also learned how to cook before all of… this; before coming here… to this city. ...But being here did give me more opportunities to practice."
"What about the meat?"
"The meat? I thought you didn't like meat?"
"I mean, if I were to cook meat... for someone else."
"Oh, well," Shinji blushed, "Most people I know cook the meat first and then take it out to cook the vegetables. So, if I were cooking pork, I'd cook it until the edges got crispy just because that's how I like it. And after that, I'd take it out and then I'd put the vegetables in. You'd have to put the thicker tougher vegetables in first because it takes them longer to cook. And then you could put in more leafy things like onions and stuff, unless you wanted the onions to be pretty soft; then you could put them in a bit sooner. You'd also want to make sure that when you cut them that they're all about the same size so they all heat up about the same. Then after it's all cooked through, you can add the meat back in."
"And what about the seasonings?"
"That can kind of depend. For me, if it's a dry seasoning powder, I usually like to put it on when it's almost done frying or I'll put it in the sauce if I decide to make any. For liquid seasoning like chili oil, I can either put that in the sauce or I can put it on top after I've assembled the food, though you can put it on before. And same with fresh herbs or stuff like sesame seeds. I'll usually put that stuff on after. But, really you can make it however you like… as long as you don't light anything on fire," Shinji chuckled again which also caused Rei to giggle.
"That is good to know. I'm sure this information will be important in the future."
"The… future?" Shinji asked in awkward confusion
"Yes, in the future. But, it's a surprise," Rei said as she leaned her body into Shinji's.
'A surprise?' Shinji wonder as he glanced at the cooking vegetables through her blue hair.
"Ooh, well, this looks to be about done now," Shinji said as he reached around Rei to grab the skillet and pull it off the stove.
"We should let it cool," Rei said as she laid the spatula on the edge of the stove and turned around to grab Shinji's hands.
Shinji blushed as he felt the girl gently tug him into her living room and then towards her bed.
She sat down on the mattress and Shinji followed her actions.
"Rei, is everything okay?"
"Yes. I just felt… I cannot describe how I feel accurately."
"Well, maybe it doesn't have to be accurate. Just… try to explain it as best you can," Shinji said as he smiled at her.
"Yes… I… I feel light. My mind… I have so many ideas."
"Ideas about what?"
"About… all the things I want to do. Ever since we became… friends… there have been so many things I desire to achieve. And, I don't feel like there is enough time in one life to do everything. It is an overwhelming feeling because I know that there are yet more things I would like to do that I haven't thought of yet. Every day I think of more to do. I do not understand how one person can want so many things."
"Well, what kind of things do you want to do?"
Rei looked at Shinji with a calm smile and blinked her eyes.
"Everything."
"Then… I guess we'll just have to try to do everything," Shinji said as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.
Rei's smile grew bigger and she leaned closer to Shinji so she could kiss his cheek, which caused him to blush.
"It still makes you uncomfortable?" Rei asked after pulling away and seeing his flushed face.
"Uncomfortable!? Oh, n-no! I just… I'm still not used to it is all. Having someone, I mean."
"So… you are uncomfortable?"
"No! No! It's totally different! I'm not uncomfortable. I'm just… excited, I guess."
Rei tried to stifle a laugh.
"People are strange."
"I'm really not uncomfortable though. It just makes me happy is all. It makes my heart start beating really fast."
"That is well. It makes me happy too."
Rei then put her hand on Shinji's chest and pushed him down onto her bed.
"Rei, I..."
She then climbed on top of him and kissed him, pressing her lips firmly into his.
Shinji raised his hands off the bed and placed them on Rei's waist as he clumsily kissed her back and she ran he finger through his hair.
Shinji never got tired of feeling her. Even just holding her hand was enough to set his heart ablaze. But having her straddling over him was almost enough to make him pass out. Even ignoring any sexual urges, it was a completely otherworldly feeling for Shinji to have someone so close to him.
As a child, he was shown next to no affection and had rarely ever been hugged. Even after moving in with his Aunt and Uncle, he'd never been close enough to them to feel comfortable enough to open up to them. And, even when they held his hand when simply walking through the grocery store with him, it was still enough to make him feel like he wanted to get away.
But in Rei, he found that it wasn't so bad to hold her hand, even with the occasional glances he'd received at school. And, while he was still timid, it wasn't unbearable for Rei to be so close that she could kiss him.
Granted, their relationship so far hadn't evolved too drastically from what It was before they had become boyfriend and girlfriend. Where other people would completely change their perspective of someone else once entering a relationship, Shinji felt that, between him and Rei, it was more of a natural progression of what their friendship had already been. He hadn't felt the need to suddenly kiss her more just because, but to kiss he when it felt right to.
Though now he could kiss her and say "I love you," he hadn't fundamentally changed his view of her or of himself. He was still the same uneasy and awkward person he'd been before. And she was still the confident and quiet girl she had always been even though she may have shown slightly more of her dominant side recently. Though, Shinji had assumed that she'd always had a dominant side but that in the past, she'd simply never had cause to employ it.
But that was just the thing; while they may have fundamentally been the same people, they caused each other to grow. Shinji was still shy and somewhat socially inept, but he'd become a bit more outgoing since Rei had begun dating him; sometimes even mustering up enough courage throw a very occasional insult at Asuka or at least stand up for himself and Rei whenever the redhead had taken to bullying them over their relationship.
And as Rei shifted ever so slightly on top of him, he knew he had found something to be happy with finally.
Rei stroked his cheek and Shinji ran his fingers up from her waist to her ribs as they broke their kiss.
"Hey, Rei?"
The girl blinked in response, telling him he had her attention.
"What's the first thing you want to do after we beat the angels?"
The question brought a smile to Rei's face.
"I do not know. But it will be fine as long as I am with you."
/
-A Thing Distinctly Hard to Say and Harder Still to Do-
/
Misato heard the door to her apartment open and before she could see who it was, she knew it could only be one person.
"You're home late," Misato called from the living room.
"Yeah, well, I had to pick up some food since someone wasn't going to be cooking for us tonight," Asuka grumbled as she trudged through the foyer and into the kitchen carrying a few boxes of food.
At the scent of food, Misato got off the couch and headed to the kitchen.
"So, did you get anything for me?" Misato asked sweetly.
Asuka looked at Misato and had a bored look on her face that Misato couldn't discern the meaning of.
"Yeah. So you owe me because I paid for it with my card. A thousand two-hundred yen for your half of the food. Pay up, Woman," Asuka grumbled as she held her hand out expecting payment.
"What!? A thousand for half!? Just how much food did you buy? I can buy a bowl of udon for half that price! No; less than half!"
"Yeah, I know. And I also know that you eat way more than one bowl of anything! So cough it up!"
"But I don't even have that much money on me right now! I spent the last of my money that was on me on beer."
Asuka rescinded her expectant hand and instead crossed her arms over her chest.
"Hmph! Well then, I guess you aren't eating tonight!"
"Can't I just go get the money tomorrow!?"
"Nope!" Asuka said sharply while opening a box of her food, some kind of chicken bites glazed in a sweet and spicy sauce.
Misato watched the girl forage around in the utensil cabinet and pull out a fork before taking a seat at the table and shoving a large chunk of chicken in her mouth hungrily.
Misato drooled as she gazed at Asuka's boxed dinner like a submissive wolf trying to cop a scrap of meat from a fresh kill guarded by the Alpha of the wolf pack.
"Ughhhhh, that looks so good," Misato mumbled in a trance while admiring the glistening sauce on the chicken.
"Hahaha, if only boys looked at you the same way you look at this chicken. Then you'd be able to gold dig them instead of me."
"Can't I just have a little bite, Asuka? I promise I'll pay you back tomorrow," Misato begged as she snuck her hand closer to Asuka's dinner, hoping she could pinch a tiny nibble away from the girl.
Asuka shot a glare at the woman's hand.
"I swear to god, Misato, if you take any of my food, I'm going to call the police! I payed for this food. It is mine. I own it. Pay for it or leave it alone!"
"Okay, okay, fine! I'll go find an ATM," Misato groaned as she walked into her room and pulled her wallet out of her bag.
Misato then came back through the kitchen and made her way to the foyer as Asuka watched her in disbelief.
"Hey, wait! Misato, get back here!" Asuka shouted.
Misato stopped and looked back at Asuka.
"Here. Take your stupid food," Asuka said as she nudged one of the boxed dinners away from herself.
"Asuka..."
"Heheh, were you really gonna go get cash right now just so you could eat?"
"Well, yeah. Wouldn't anyone?" Misato questioned as she sat down at the kitchen table.
"No, not me. At least, not if it seemed like it would be too much of a drag. And speaking of drags, don't they have any Greek food places here!? I want some gyros or some lamb dolmadakia!"
"I wouldn't know. I've never eaten any Greek food before. But thanks for letting me… well, you know… eat this food," Misato said while giving Asuka a small smile.
"Yeah, don't mention it," Asuka said in a mockingly generous tone before returning to her bored demeanor, "No, but seriously. Don't mention it… ever."
Misato smiled as she separated a pair of disposable chopsticks that came with her meal.
"You know, Asuka, you don't need to hide everything from everybody. It's okay to be kind and open."
"Huh!? What's that supposed to mean? If you're kind to people, that just makes them weak and complacent. They think they should be content with themselves when they shouldn't."
"Maybe so. But, if you're always harsh to them, then they never feel like they're worth anything even when they are."
"Yeah!? So what? It's better to feel worthless than to feel like you're worth more than you are."
'What… what am I even saying? I… I always act like I'm worth more than I am. If I didn't pilot the Eva then… no one would want me.'
"But, if you make people feel worthless, then you won't end up with many friends," Misato said before lifting some noodles into her mouth.
"I have friends and I don't want any more!"
'Do I really have any friends? I mean, like really? Kaji barely talks to me. It's weird to talk to Misato most of the time after what happened between me and her. All Toji does is argue with me. Sometimes Kensuke agrees with me. Hikari is just… Hikari. Ayanami probably hates my guts with how I treat her. And even Shinji has left me to spend the night with her. It… doesn't feel like I have any friends.'
"Well, that's fine if it's true. But don't fool yourself, okay Asuka?"
Asuka's eyes widened
'That… that's almost exactly what Kaji said to me the other day… She… she should just go fuck him already. They were made for each other. Fucking whore! She's still sitting here spouting his beliefs even though she won't even talk to him… Jesus, What am I thinking? Kaji is mine. He… belongs to me. He deserves better than Misato.'
Asuka tried to hide the scowl on her face from Misato as she continued to eat and finish her dinner. But, when all was said and done, Asuka wasn't entirely sure Misato, or anyone for that matter, bought it anymore. She could feel all her lies unraveling and all the walls she built up slowly crumbling around her. And she didn't like it.
"I'm going to bed."
"You sure? It's still kinda early."
"Yeah, I'm sure."
/
"You're still so beautiful, Asuka."
Asuka's eyes fluttered open and she saw nothing but darkness.
"What? Who… who's there?"
She propped herself up and rested on her hands, feeling something wet underneath her palms.
"It's me, Asuka."
A light flickered on in front of Asuka, revealing Misato.
"Oh, you..."
"What's wrong? You sound disappointed."
"I… don't know."
"How about… you let me make it better?" Misato cooed as she reached her arm towards Asuka and approached her.
"What!? What do you mean!?"
"I mean let me be there for you."
"N- ...no. No! I don't want that! Especially not from you! Not after what you did to me!"
Asuka turned around and tried to run away into the darkness. But before she could escape, a couch materialized out of the darkness; the same couch that was in the living room of Misato's apartment.
On top of the couch was Asuka, a different Asuka; a figment. And looming over that Asuka was Misato.
Asuka felt a hand rest on her shoulder as she watched herself on the couch.
"You mean that? But that was months ago," Misato asked as she too watched the vision of herself.
Asuka didn't say anything as she watched the Misato shade crawl on top of her mirrored self trying to kiss her. Asuka couldn't take her eyes off the play that was happening in front of her and Misato assumed that was indeed what Asuka was referencing.
Asuka watched the Misato on the couch attempt to snake her hand into the other Asuka's pants while she halfheartedly struggled to push the woman off of her.
"Look, Asuka. It's not that bad to let people in."
"No… NO! THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANT!" Asuka screamed as she finally tore her eyes away from the scene that was playing out in front of her, "I WANT KAJI! I DON'T WANT YOU, MISATO. I'D RATHER HAVE SHINJI EVEN! AT LEAST HE DIDN'T TRY TO TAKE ME WITHOUT PERMISSION!"
"Asuka, it only seems bad because you didn't want to let anyone in back then. If you'd just open up-"
"NO! I HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYTHING! I HATE MYSELF! I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY OF THIS!"
"Maybe I did do something wrong back then. But, right now, you let it control you. You're only hurting yourself… Asuka."
/
Asuka shot up to a sitting position in her bed. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and she could feel a lump in her throat.
"Just… another stupid dream… I hate dreams."
She threw the covers off of her in a rush and got to her feet before existing her room.
As always, the air conditioned room's atmosphere bit through her thin nightie and she could feel the hair on the back of her neck standing on end.
She creeped across the living room and held her breath as she opened the door to Misato's room. Peeking in, she saw that the woman was lightly snoring and that PenPen had laid himself across Misato's face.
Asuka breathed out and shut the door.
"I hate this place."
The redhead then trudged over to the fridge and shuffled a few things around before pulling out some strawberry flavored beer.
She looked down at the label, barely visible with what little moonlight shone through the room, and wondered if she really wanted to open it.
"Eh… it's not like I'm going to be able to go back to bed."
She tried to twist the metal cap off with her fingers. But, the bottle cap was cold and sharp and hurt her finger. So, instead, she stuck the bottle in her mouth, clamped the cap between between her teeth, and twisted it off that way.
As she walk by the trash can, she spit the cap into it before walking through the foyer and opening the door to leave Misato's apartment.
"Ah, warm air!" Asuka sighed in relief as she felt the cold slowly begin seeping out of her skin.
She quietly shut the door behind her. Not that she needed to. She wasn't sneaking out to run away; at least not this time. No. She just wanted some fresh air and a breeze.
She leaned against the balcony railing as she overlooked the city. Even though is was such a busy city, it still seemed to hold more darkness in it than other cities would at night. It was almost like the sky itself was simply darker and that darkness seeped into Tokyo-3. The streets were well lit, but it was as if a miasma permeated within the city and made the air itself darker.
As she lost herself in the contrast of the city, her fingers loosened on the bottle of beer unconsciously and it slipped out of her hands and fell probably at least fifty feet until it shattered on the parking lot below.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Asuka cursed as she looked down at the foaming liquid below her.
She started to walk down the stair to go pick up the pieces of the broken glass, but decided she wasn't in the mood and instead stayed where she was and continued to look down at the glistening beer and glass several floors below her.
"Is that all life is? Picking up all your broken pieces?"
/
"It is okay, Shinji," Rei said reassuringly as she kissed the boy again.
'She's… she's right. Asuka already sleeps in my bed with me. This… this isn't any different. Or, it is I guess. She's… my girlfriend. But, why does it feel wrong though? Shouldn't it feel right? Maybe it's just because this is the first time I've slept in Rei's apartment. Maybe I'm just home sick.'
"I… I know."
"You do not have anything to fear. Why are you afraid, Shinji?"
"Well… It's just… my father. He's like… your guardian. And… I just..."
"You what?" Rei asked curiously.
"I just don't know if he'd be okay with us sharing the same bed is all."
Rei smiled at the boy with a glimmering expression.
"Shinji, come. It will be fine."
"I… okay," the boy tensely sighed as he finally crawled under the covers with Rei.
Rei then reached over and turned off the nightlight next to her bed before resituating herself under the covers and wrapping her arms around Shinji, causing the boy's face to explode in a flush.
"Your father does not hate you, Shinji."
"Yeah… And, Rei?"
"Yes?"
"Asuka doesn't hate you."
/
Asuka had returned from outside and, contrary to her objective of clearing her mine, she now unfortunately had even more on her mind than when she'd initially gone outside to meditate.
"Stupid Ayanami! I hate her! She's always stealing my attention. And I hate Misato too! Always getting into my business and stealing Kaji from me." She spat in a whisper as she returned to the small hallway that led to her and Shinji's rooms.
For a moment, she was prepared to throw herself into her own bed. But, before she could slide open the door to her room she paused, turned around, and looked at Shinji's door handle.
'I mean… it's not like he'd mind if I slept in his bed tonight. He never complains when he's here. And, now he's not even hear to complain.'
So, instead, she reached for Shinji's door handle and tugged at it, looking at the shadowy room and the empty bed inside it.
She slipped inside and scurried into the covers in a hurry, as though she were worried she'd be caught.
Throwing the covers over her head, she breathed the scent of the bed in and savored it.
'It... it kinda smells like him. I mean, it really smells like him. This is so weird.'
/
"Rei, this is okay, right?"
"Yes. Of course. I will always protect you, Shinji. There is no cause for you to worry."
"It's… kinda strange. Asuka… sometimes she sneaks into my bed at night while I'm sleeping in it. And… it's kind of weird and sometimes even a little scary, especially if she had a bad day."
"Then, you should not be afraid of doing this."
"I know, I really shouldn't. But… to be honest… my father scares me a lot more than Asuka. When Asuka told Toji and Kensuke and Hikari about second Impact, I was scared just imagining how upset he'd be with me. But, luckily, they didn't tell anyone else. So, I guess-'
"There is nothing to worry about. That is what you should guess," Rei said as she cuddled into Shinji's back as she spooned him, "Tomorrow will come and everything shall be as it should."
"Yeah… Yeah, you're right," Shinji said before taking one of Rei's hands and kissing the back of it, "Thanks, Rei."
/
"Yes, thank you. That will be all," the gruff voice of Gendo said as he hung up his phone.
Gendo looked around his expansive and utterly empty office. Fuyutsuki had already gone home for the night and so Gendo was in complete solitude once more after he'd hung up the call with the Section-2 agent he'd just spoken with.
"Now, just to wait… and see if things go to plan."
.
*Eva credits roll and Fly Me to the Moon plays*
.
*Kaji slaps roof of Misato's Renault*
"This bad boy can fit so many moody Eva Pilots in it!"
"KAJI, WHY IS MY CAR IN THE RECORDING STUDIO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IT IN HERE!? IT CAN'T EVEN FIT THROUGH THE DOOR!"
"Oh, you mean to say you didn't know NERV has an extra top secret teleportation device just for situations like this?"
"LIKE HELL THEY DO!?"
"Of course, you'd know that if you were... an extra top secret government agent, like me!"
"Would you just quit with this government agent crap!? We're actors! We work for a studio! We aren't affiliated with the government in any way! And our job- No, my job, is to give the preview for the next chapter!"
"Well then, maybe you should get to it."
*Misato mumbles indignantly*
"So, next chapter... Shinji and Asuka... sort of.. go on a date. B- Bu- B- But not like a real one! I mean... not yet at least. It's just kind of a... friendly excursion! And uh, oh yeah, I find Asuka in Shinji's room. I'm sure that will be delightful and not at all cause for her to become enraged with me. Oh, there's some stuff about me in here too! Oh... but wait, it's just me doing something with Kaji. Boring! And, it's... probably going to be in the next chapter of Neon Genesis Evangelion: A Journey of Hate, Power, and Love; To Take and To Give. "
*Misato tosses script over her shoulder.*
"You know, you could at least pretend to be a little more interested in me."
"You listen here, Mister! The ONLY thing I'm interested in about you is that you get my car out of this room RIGHT NOW!"
*Kaji has disappointed look on his face*
"Well, so much for fanservice then..."
.
Update/Final Update: Lmao, so, basically, I guess I've given up on updates at this point, haha. Next chapter will be up in a few.
