Hello, hello. You're back again? I think you may have a problem...this is an intervention. Have you considered seeing someone about your addiction to AK:R? You should do that...right after you read chapter 5.

Disclaimer: I don't own DragonBall Z or whoever makes the Vespa.

(o.o)Episode One, Chapter five: A Giant Robo Spider? Nonsense!(o.o)

Andrew stared into the mirror, horrified. He had horns. Three of them. Smack in the middle of his forehead. -I can't go to school like this! I look like a freaking demon! Not to mention all the "horny" jokes I'll have to endure...what am I gonna do...? WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!- Andrew ran out of the bathroom to find the evil woman eating the rest of his omelet. Andrew pointed at her and began to bellow.

"YOU! Who are you? Why the hell are you here! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BEAUTIFUL FOREHEAD?"

She stood up from the chair and slowly walked toward Andrew. Out of reflexes developed over the last few days, he shrank back from her slightly. She stood in front of him and eyed his forehead. She reached into her pocket suspiciously...

"AAAH! DON'T SHOOT, DON'T SHOOT! I SURRENDER! HAVE MERCY!"

...and pulled out a magnifying glass. As Andrew bent over clutching his heart and panting, the woman used the magnifying glass to more closely inspect the horns. She magnify'd for a few seconds then scoffed and walked away.

"That's nothing."

"N-...it's...N-NO-... NOTHING? I HAVE HORNS! FREAKING HORNS! OR IS YOUR FREAKISHLY COLORED HAIR OBSCURING YOUR VISION?!"

"It's nothing special at the moment. They'll only get bigger."

Andrew didn't like what he heard. He continued babbling incoherently.

"Buh-...wha...big...they'll geh-geh...get...bigger? Buh...that still doesn't answer my other questions...WHO THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE?"

"You just never shut up, do you?"

Andrew sat on the couch and sulked. He sulked for a good seven minutes. This was juuust long enough to figure out what was going on. -Okay...my parents sent this crazy lady...to...to test me and see if I could handle it on my own for an extended period of time...yeah! That's it! So if I just...-

"Aww, did I upset you?"

"...this is the last time I ask this before I call the police on your ass. Who. Are. You?"

The woman sighed and a bright flash filled the room. When Andrew regained his vision, the woman was still standing there...but in a maid outfit.

"Hey there! Allow me to preface. Haruhara Haruko. Age nineteen. I'm your new sprightly maid who's cute to boot. Pleased to meet ya." She chirped. Andrew stood there.

"Ack! The light! I'm BLIIIIND!" Andrew hissed.

"Ugh...annoying little brat...I'm your sitter. Your parents hired me."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Andrew cursed. Multiple times. "-bleep- son of a bitch! GODDAMMIT! -bleep-ing -bleep- -bleeper -bleeped- -bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep" Et cetera, et cetera.

"Now now, watch your language or I'll have to ...punish you."

"Uhhh...is that a sexual innuendo or a threat?"

"Both."

He immediately stoped his foulmouthedness. "Okay, if you're my sitter, then who are they?" Andrew asked, jutting his thumb at the boy and robot.

"Hm? The robot is my assistant, and the kid...he's my lackey." Haruko said, examining her nails.

"WHAT?"

The kid had been silent since his bout with Andrew, but after being called a lackey, he spoke up.

"I'm not your lackey!"

The woman ignored this and shoved a bag of godly proportions into his arms. "Take my bag upstairs, Naota lackey!"

"Uh...there aren't any guest rooms upstairs, y'know..." Andrew muttered.

"Silence, peon!"

With that, she hit Andrew with a guitar again. Again. Strangely, though, it didn't hurt as much this time. Andrew hoped he wasn't getting used to being beaten with musical instruments. As he groaned and sat up, the room was suddenly flooded with red light.

"Where the hell is that comi-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Andrew clutched his forehead and continued to scream in pain. It felt like someone was shoving flaming butcher knives through his skull from the inside out, right where...his...horns...were...Andrew slowly removed his hands from his forehead and screamed again. The horns - of which there were now eight - had grown to a good three feet in length and they were still growing. The pain controlled him. Andrew could do nothing more than lay in the fetal position and scream his lungs out as the horns grew and grew and grew and grew until they were 12 feet long, reaching into the corners of the room. He squinted and could see that the kid was crouching behind a chair in the corner opposite Andrew. Haruko and the robot were each fighting one of the horns and losing. All of a sudden, the robot grabbed the horn he was fighting and began to pull on it. This was an unpleasant experience for Andrew. Something spherical began to force its way out of his forehead. Haruko joined the robot in pulling the legs and together, they managed to rip whatever ot was completely out of Andrew. The stress created from pulling on it caused a sligshot effect which sent the thing crashing through the western wall of the living room and into the backyard. With the pain slowly subsiding, Andrew managed to pull himself into a sitting position and look at whatever the hell it was.

It seemed to be a giant robotic eye on spider legs. Talk about screwed up. Haruko and the robot dashed outside and continued fighting it. The kid -Naota- continued crouching under a chair. Andrew took this time to...get the hell outta there. He jumped to his feet and rushed out the front door. -Okay, I need to get the hell outta here! Transportation...I NEED TRANSPORTATION!!- He frantically swung his head around and saw...a bright yellow Vespa. How did he know it was a Vespa? He just did. Don't question the author. Andrew hopped on and tried to figure out how to start it. I could spend this time explaining how he figured it out, but that would be useless. Like a filler episode full of talking in an action anime -coughDBZcough-. He started it...and it shot off. Andrew maganed to get it under control and pondered what to do...he need to talk to someone...someone who would understand that a woman with pink hair and yellow eyes hit him with a guitar, causing him to grow horns which later turned into a robot-eye spider...he needed "someone of equal nerditude", as Bradan would say...

-I need...John.-

-MEANWHILE-

Haruko was getting pissed. She was losing, and Canti couldn't absorb Ta-kun for some reason.

"We need the new kid! Where the hell did he-..."

She looked around the front just in time to see someone speeding away on the Vespa...HER Vespa.

"I'm gonna murder that little bastard..."

Finite! Good, yes? No? I don't know unless you push the little button below this...chappy 6 coming soon!