Here we are at chapter 7 and you know how many reviews I have? None. Zero. You people SUCK. I betcha think if you ignore me, I'll go away? Fat chance. I'm here till this fic's done...or at least until I get severe writer's block...whatever. Here's chapter 7, you ungrateful bastards.

(o.o)Episode one, Chapter 7: Trouble on thet Set(o.o)

Andrew's house...well, there was no house left. The only thing left standing was the front wall. Behind that was a hellhole. Literally. There was a huge hole/crater where Andrew's house once stood. Scanning the scene, Andrew could see that the robot was fighting the spider thing and losing. Haruko and Naota were arguing a few feet away from Andrew. John and Cory began chattering excitedly.

"Dude, this is so freaking awesome-"

"I know! Like it's right out of an anime!"

"Which one do you think will win?"

"Prolly the spider, I mean, look how many legs it has! The other one can't take that many hits at once..."

"Yeah, but look at all those cool attacks the humanoid robot is doing!"

Leaving John and Cory behind to debate the fight, Andrew wandered across the battlefield and over to Haruko and Naota. He could hear various bits of their argument.

"I don't know why he won't eat me! It isn't my fault!"

"We're LOSING in case you haven't noticed; I'll throw you up there if I have to!"

Haruko turned around with a pissed off look on her face that screamed "menstrual cycle" and stared at the combating robots. Canti was looking pretty beat up now, and seemed to be wearing down. Haruko gritted her teeth and reached blindly behind her, grabbing what she thought was the front of Naota's shirt. She did, in fact, grab a shirt. Buuuuut...it was Andrew's, not Naota's.

"Heeeeeeey...heyheyheyheyheyhey! No no no! What the hell are you doing!"

"ENOUGH OF YOUR WHINING! NOW GET UP THERE TA-KUN!"

"Uh...Haruko...I'm right here..."

"Wha-? But then who did I..."

Being hurled into the air at 100mph with no restraints or protection of any kind is not pleasant experience. Especially when you're flying directly into a robot. And from out of the robot came...a mouth. A really big mouth. With teeth. Lots of 'em. Did it swallow Andrew? Yup. Canti froze. Text flashed across the screen that was its face.

SYNTAX ERROR. FOREIGN OBJECT ANDREW.EXE

HAS BEEN DOWNLOADED INTO HARD DRIVE. CAN

NOT RUN WITHOUT PROPER AUTHORIZATION

FROM MAIN OPERATING SYSTEM .OVERRIDE

SAFETY COMMAND?

Y/N?

Nothing happened for a few moments, then the "Y" flashed. Nothing again. Then, in an instant, the screen turned a brilliant cobalt color with an odd white sigil in the center of it. Canti hunched over and twitched slightly before turning rigid as its body changed colors into a deep midnight blue. Below, everyone was watching with their mouths gaping. Cory spoke.

"Holy hell."

"Erm..." John said, pushing his glasses up his nose "That's an oxymoron..."

"No. Just, no."

The chain on Haruko's wristband was clinking madly, pointing towards the blue thing as if it were a compass. Canti/Andrew straightened itself and charged at the spider robot.

(This is where we find out if I can write action scenes!)

Canti/Andrew crashed into the spider with a mighty headbutt and then proceeded to pelt it with kicks. The robot tried to slam two of its many legs into Canti/Andrew, but it blocked the first blow and grabbed the second leg swung at it. It then began to spin the spider robot in circles until they both began to blur. Canti/Andrew then released the spider, sending it spiraling into the ground where it landed with a mighty crash. Canti/Andrew followed it, flying toward the ground at an insane speed. It flipped at the last second and kicked the robot with both its feet. This put an enormous hole in the robot, causing scraps of metal to fly everywhere. Everyone watching decided this was a good time to run for cover. Canti/Andrew shot off down the street and latched onto a phone pole with one arm, running around in a circle so fast that a small whirlwind formed around it. It let go of the pole and dashed toward the spider at speeds unrecordable. An instant before the robots collided, Canti/Andrew dug its arms into the ground and raised its legs, kicking forward. Nothing happened. Then the sonic boom caught up. The force of being kicked by a robot, coupled with the force created by running so fast, sent the spider flying out of the atmosphere.

(That didn't seem very good...it was much cooler in my mind...)

Canti/Andrew stood motionless for a minute, then the giant mouth came back and spit Andrew out and onto the ground, where he then fell unconscious, but not before a single thought floated across his mind. -I gotta stop getting knocked out...- The four bystanders rushed over to Andrew. John bent over him while Cory poked him with a stick.

"Is...uh...is he gonna be okay?"

Haruko pushed John out of the way and bent over Andrew. John and Cory snickered.

"Are you gonna give him 'CPR' again?"

Haruko whipped out a guitar and...shot them. With her GUITAR. How effed up is that? She continued raining bullets on them until they were on the moped and speeding away.

"Canti! Go fix the kid's house. Ta-kun, you help him."

Ta-kun -coughcough- Naota harrumphed and followed Canti towards the pile of rubble that was one Andrew's house. Once they were safely out of eye and earshot, Haruko leaned back over Andrew and kissed him. It was a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong kiss, so long in fact, that Andrew's unconscious body began to convulse from lack of oxygen. He began to slam his arms on the ground and...mumble?

"Mmmph! Fmfmphrm!"

Haruko pulled away from him. Andrew sat up and gasped for air. A mysterious voice rang out from nowhere.

"CUT! Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ, what is it now, Andrew?"

"That kiss was waaaay too long. The script said five seconds TOPS."

"Oh, shut up. You know you liked it." Haruko said as she poked Andrew in the back of the head.

"You're the one that made the kiss too long."

"I was being dramatic! Some of us would like to act in gigs other than fanfictions and six-episode anime, you know."

"Hey, hey, hey." The director interrupted. "This is no mere fanfiction. This is GOLD. I'm getting a Pulitzer for this."

"Of course you are, Penguin." Haruko said cynically.

"What's going in over there?" Naota yelled from across the set.

"Ah...nothing. Go back to your business...erm...makeup! We need makeup for the kid and the robot..."

The director, Penguin Tsar, mumbled. Anime people. Bwar. They required way too much makeup. And their big shiny eyes...creepy. Haruko suddenly appeared in front of him.

"What's my motivation for this scene?"

"Uhhhh...I dunno. I'm not a real director, I'm like, 15 years old."

She was silent for a moment, then responded, "Do I love him?"

"Whatever floats your boat, Haru-san. But there's no romance until at least..." He flipped through a script. "The sequel. Alright people, let's take it from the beginning of scene 5...aaand...ACTION!"

Once again, Haruko leaned over Andrew. Once again, she pressed her lips to his in a kiss. Once again...Andrew began to mumble and his eyes shot open. He made a face.

"She put her tongue in!"

"GODDAMMIT WOMAN!"

End of Episode One!

Next time on AmeriKuri: Redux! Episode Two, Furi Rama!

Bwar. There you go. Hm...have you ever made something and then looked around and it seemed that everyone else's something seemed to be better than yours? HM? WELL? THAT'S HOW I FEEL, ASSHOLES. Everyone else's FLCL stories seem so awesome, and mine looks sub-par in comparison. So...tell me if I'm right or not. REVIEW, DAMN YOU!