Stop. Right now. Before anything else. Fish Monger. You are the greatest freaking person that has ever lived! You gave me my first review! I tip my hat and raise my pen to you, sir. Here's chapter 8, as requested.

Episode two: Furi Rama

(o.o)Episode 2, Chapter eight: Insanity, Meh(o.o)

-Ow. Owwww...ow ow ow. OwowowowowowowowowowowowwwwwwOWWWWWW!- This was Andrew's first sentient thought as he regained consciousness. It wasn't the most sentient thing he could have thought, but eh. His forehead was throbbing like mad. The second thought? Well, his internal clock told him he had been out all day Sunday. So that made today Monday. School. -Dammit.- Natural instinct caused him to rise from his bed, shower, clothe himself, walk downstairs, grab a Pop-tart, and walk out the door. He paid no mind to the robot nailing 2x4's across a gaping hole in the back wall, nor did he take a second glance at the woman with pink hair asleep on his couch. His brain was a little...er...fuzzy is a good word, I suppose. As he walked to school, he rubbed his forehead while constructing a battle plan. He would go to school, duh, and then...see a psychologist. He desperately needed to figure out why spiders were coming out of his forehead and robots were eating him. So. A psychologist. Then...no idea. He'd ad lib it.

School. Oh joy. I feel no need to type up another school day, so let's just say it went smoooooooooothly. As Andrew left the school grounds, he keps his hawklike senses focused for any flashes of yellow. -Bitch isn't running me over again...- Lucky for Andrew, there was a shrink right across the street from the school. The teachers spent more time there than they did AT school. As he walked into the office, Andrew was struck by just how white and clean-smelling it was. So...unnatural...meh. He approached the counter thingy where you make appointments, but the receptionist spoke before he could.

"Oh, Mr. Kaiser. The doctor's been waiting for you."

"Er...but I didn't..."

"Through that door right there, it's the second office on your left. Hurry dear, you're already a little late."

"O...okay..."

Andrew did as he was told and navigated the hallway to the psychologist's office. The plaque on the door read Dr. H. Raharu, Ph.D, MD, Wt.F, Dd.D, et cetera, et cetera.

-Raharu? What the hell? Is that Yugoslavian or something?-

Andrew knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Andrew entered the room. It was furnished like a typical psychologist's office. Bookshelves, a big desk with a nameplate, one of those recliney chairs, it even had a fireplace! Sitting behind the psychologist's desk was...obviously...the psychologist. His/her - Andrew couldn't tell - entire face was shadowed. They spoke again.

"Have a seat, Andrew. What seems to be driving you crazy today?"

It was a woman. She had a very soothing voice and spoke in a light British accent. Andrew wished he could get a good look at her face. He sat.

"Well..." he began, hesitating slightly. "Uh...a...a...a giant robotic spider...erm...came out...of..my...forehead...meh...I'M NOT CRAZY! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME! I HAVE WITNESSES! KUPO!...I mean meh."

"All right, all right, just calm down. I don't think you're crazy. Not yet at least." She smiled at him then consulted a clipboard on her desk. "Andrew, have you recieved any blows to the head recently?"

Andrew groaned. "You don't think I have head trauma, do you?"

The psychiatrist laughed. Her voice was very pretty. "No, I don't think you have head trauma."

"...yeah, I've been hit in the head quite a lot in the past few days..."

"Were the blows deliverd by a musical instrument?"

"YES! EVERY DAMN TIME!...well, except one..."

"Language, Andrew." She studied her clipboard for about a minute, then spoke again. "Which musical instrument were you hit with? A harp?"

"Er...no."

"Alto sax?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Baby grand piano?"

"Well yeah, but that was a few years ago..."

"Bagpipes?"

"Nope"

"A cobalt blue Rickenbacker 4001 bass guitar with a pull cord motor?"

"Holy...yeah, that'd be it"

"Hm..." She scribbled something on her clipboard then stood up. Though she was still in the shadows, Andrew saw a flash of pink when she moved. His eyes narrowed and he scanned the room for a weapon or some means of escape...he saw nothing.

"Well Andrew, I believe you may be suffering from a mental illness known as FLictonic CLipple syndrome."

"FL...CL...?"

"There is one more symptom to check before it is certain though." As she strolled toward Andrew, she pulled a rubber glove over her left hand. Andrew tried to move, but she dove at him before he could turn around. She pressed her hand against his forehead and began to push.

"What the hell are you doing here? THAT'S NOT EVEN A PSYCHAITRIST'S OUTFIT!" Haruko was wearing a nurse's outfit.

"The costume store was closed and this was all I had." She said, as if it were obvious.

"?! WHAT KIND OF PERVERTED PSYCHO ACTUALLY OWNS A NURSES OUTFIT!?!?!?!"

Haruko pushed harder.

"Dammit, woman, can I have a MOMENT OF PEACE without you assaulting my foreheaaaaaeeerrrrrgh...meh." His speech slurred as Haruko shoved her hand into Andrew's forehead with a lovely squishy noise.

"Hm...you definitely feel a little different than Ta-kun on the inside...what's this?" She poked at a small area at the back of Andrew's mind. He gasped.

"NO! NONONONONONONO! YOU CAN'T GO BACK THERE! THAT IS PRIVATE PROPERTY, WOMAN! TRESSPASSERS WILL BE SHOT...survivors will be shot agai...bleeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaannnnng...meh..."

"Oh-ho? Someone's been dreaming about me, I see. How sweet...you loooooove meeeeeee!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huuuuh."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT I DREAM ABOUT! At least, not until I get the hang of this lucid dreaming stuff..."

"Ooh, some of these are really weird. You've got quite the imagination, but then I suppose you are a teenager..."

She forced her hand even farther in. Her arm was in Andrew's forehead up to the elbow now. Andrew felt her tug at something.

"Ack! That's my brain stem! You can't have it! I need it for thinky stuff! MEH! ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE!" Andrew shot up and bolted out the door...with Haruko, still elbow deep in his forehead, being dragged along behind him.

"Stop...running...you...IDIOT! This...could...seriously...damage...your...mind!"

"Er...really?" Andrew skidded to a halt a block away from the psychiatrist's office. And since Haruko was still moving, she crashed right into him, knocking them both to the ground. Andrew groaned and rolled over...and there was Haruko. On top of him. AGAIN. He sighed.

"What do you want with me?"

She snickered. "All in due time, Drew-kun."

Having maneuvered himself out from under Haruko, Andrew smacked his hand to his forehead at hearing what was most likely his new nickname. He held his hand out to Haruko.

"Here."

"...What are you doing?"

"Helping you up. It's called chivalry, though you hardly deserve it." Andrew noticed that Haruko had a different guitar. "Where'd you get that?" he asked as he pulled her up.

"Grabbed it out of your head."

Yay...chapter 8 done. The last chapter's all written out too, but you're not gonna see it for awhile...be patient. Please review, chapter 9 coming soon. Au revoir, bitches.

-Penguin Tsar