Whasaaaap? For all my faithful readers, here's chapter 13. For everyone else...get the hell out. And by the way...chapters too short, Sasake X? LONGER I SHALL MAKE THEM, THEN!

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Schooly Kuri

(o.o)Episode Three, Chapter thirteen: The Really Long Chapter(o.o)

Once Andrew felt he had enough of bellowing mindlessly, he stomped inside. Naota was sitting on the couch. Andrew hissed at him. Why? Because he felt like hissing at someone, that's why.

"What's wrong with you?" Naota asked, a little freaked out. You would be too, if a person hissed at you.

Andrew hissed again. "I just got a letter from the superintendent of the school system. YOU haven't been going to school and therefore have been committing truancy."

"So? I start going to school with you, what's the big deal?"

"As if you weren't bad enough. Apparently, Haruko doesn't have a high school diploma. Guess what that means?"

"...She goes to school with you, too...?"

"DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING! BLACKJACK! YAHTZEE! YOU JUST PASSED FREAKING GO! COLLECT TWO HUNDERED GODDAMNED DOLLARS, BITCH! That means I have to deal with her during the day. I can hardly deal with her as it is! I'm going to go insane! IN-FREAKING-SANE!"

Eventually, Andrew ran out of steam and Naota pried the letter out of his twitching hands. He scanned the letter and sighed in annoyance.

"Idiot. It says she completed three of her four years of high school. You WON'T have to deal with her...idiot."

Andrew didn't like being called names. "Pfft. So I didn't read the fine print. Big whoop. No one does. -sniff- That doesn't give you the right to verbally abuse me...-sniffle-..."

"Ugh," Naota groaned. "Maybe you have been around Haruko too long, because it looks like her random mood swings are rubbing off on you."

"Balderdash. Now, if you're going to school with me, there are a few things you need to know...you may wanna take this down." With that, Andrew shoved a pad of paper and a pen into Naota's hands.

"RULE NUMBER ONE- er...I haven't thought of a rule number one yet...RULE NUMBER TWO! Uhhh...I dunno. Just tell everyone you're an exchange student. They'll eat it up, especially my Japanese class."

"Okaaay."

"On a totally unrelated note, where's Canti?"

Naota pointed up, which indicated to Andrew that the robot was either dead or upstairs. Andrew guessed the latter. He walked up the stairs and saw Canti on a stool with John standing next to him, typing away madly on a keyboard.

"Uh...hey John...how long have you been here?"

"A few hours. I wanted to take a closer look at this robot, so I came over and that kid downstairs let me in. Where's the pink-hair woman?"

"Oh you mean Haruko? I dunno."

John smirked. "On a first name basis now, are you? You really shouldn't be flirting with other women Andrew. It's unfaithful towards Alexandria."

Andrew made the strangling motion at John, but he didn't see. He had turned around and gone back to typing.

"What are you doing, exactly?"

"I suppose I could give a demonstration..." With that, John grabbed a grayish green cord protruding from Canti's head and plugged it into a computer modem sitting next to him.

"John...after what happened at the computer lab, should you really be screwing around with an uber high-tech robot?"

"Shush! Watch the screen"

Canti's face/screen flickered to life and text rolled across it. This text, unlike the last time Canti "spoke", was intelligible...kind of.

-Ja, I ttly PWN3D taht r080t tehn 1 wuz roflmao-

Andrew's jaw dropped. "You taught him L33tspeak? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? I can't understand L33tspeak!"

"But obviously you can speak it. And besides, at least now you have some vague idea of what he's saying. Very...very...vague."

"Er...about that...how do you know it's a he? Surely you didn't...?"

"Ack. No. When I popped open the back of his head and accessed his database, I found craploads of hentai. So, either Canti's a he, a lesbian, or someone's been using him as extra storage space."

"Erm..." Andrew's eyes were shifty "Yeah, Canti must be a boy..."

"Well, I must be off. Have fun translating L33tspeak."

"See you in school tomorrow, I guess..."

John left, and Andrew sat there for a few minutes.

"I'm bored." Andrew looked at Canti. "You get RuneScape on that thing?"

-h3llz yeh-

Andrew cut some maples, raised his wc to 60, bought 200 chaos runes, raised his mage to 30, then got booted off.

"Dammit Canti, you're a robot. Surely you have a better connection that my pc?"

-n0t mah fult, d00d, aol iz t3h suxx0r-

"Yes...I suppose AOL is teh suxxor..."

Andrew found himself bored out of his mind. BOOOOOOOOORED. For the sake of the plot, I shall fast forward time to the next morning...and...behold!

-THE NEXT MORNING-

Shaking off the grogginess, Andrew got out of bed and performed his morning routine. Shower, teeth, deodorant, clothe, eat, tv, walk. About halfway there, it struck Andrew. -I forgot to turn the tv off. Oh well. I don't pay the bills.- Then the important thing struck Andrew. -NAOTA!- Andrew turned on his heel...and there was Naota.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You're lucky I'm responsible."

Andrew mumbled. Little whelp.

"Why are we walking?" Naota whined.

"Because the school board is composed of nothing but bastards."

"...What?"

"Never mind...we're walking...I dunno why."

Naota shrugged and they continued walking. Andrew discussed the battle plan with Naota on the way there.

"So...who are you?"

"I'm Andrew's distant cousin slash exchange studen from Mabase, a town on the eastern Japanese coast."

"Good, good...er..." Andrew stopped. "What about Haruko?"

Naota scratched his head. "She's a hobo that lives on the street corner?"

"No, I mean where's Haruko?"

"Oh, she left early." Naota answered.

"Crazy woman..." Andrew muttered to himself.

They reached the school and walked through the front doors.

"You don't have to change shoes before you go in?"

"No..."

"...America is weird."

For the first half of the day, no one really suspected anything. Naota was asked to speak some Japanese to prove he was really from Japan "Uh...konnichiwa...baka na baka curry. Hentai ohayo! Hai?" but other than that, everything was normal.

Lunchtime.

As Andrew and Naota strolled to a table, a giant mass of giantness leapt out of the shadows and stood in front of them.

"Andreeeeeeeeeew!"

"AAAH!" Naota screamed. "IT'S PAUL BUNYAN!!!"

Andrew sighed. "No it isn't, you moron. It just Brandon."

Naota stopped screaming and got a closer look at 'Paul Bunyan'. He saw a tall kid - seriously tall - with blonde and brown hair in a plaid shirt.

"Alright, Brandon, go back to your table. We have cooler people to sit with."

"Muahaha. No one cooler that I exists, Kazuki-kun. Whatever. KITTY!" With that, Brandon shot off.

"...Kitty?"

"I'll explain later."

They both took a seat as Andrew began to introduce the people sitting around them.

"This is Bradan." Andrew said as he pointed. Bradan grunted in response. "You've met John and Cory." They waved. "Austin..." He nodded. "And...uh...where's Alexandria?"

John and Cory both coughed simultaneously. "Uh...she didn't show up for lunch, said something about getting makeup work from her geometry teacher..."

"Oh..." Andrew's tone was somewhat less enthusiastic. Naota took note of this.

"What's wrong, Andrew? Is your girlfriend not here or something?"

Andrew stuttered for a moment before his mouth worked. "S-she's not my girlfriend, stupid!"

"Then why are you so touchy about her?"

Bradan snickered. "He's always touchy about her. They have a very physical relationship."

Andrew kicked Bradan, and lunch progressed. When the bell rang, everyone filed out of the room. Austin turned down a hallway and Naota went into the bathroom, but Bradan, John, and Cory followed Andrew, whispering and snickering.

"What the hell are you whispering about?"

Out of nowhere, John and Bradan tackled Andrew, wrestling to the ground and tying him up.

"MMPH! FRRRRRRMFRMPHLN!"

Cory pulled out a walkie talkie and spoke into it.

"Clogging Lady, this is Hummingbird. Do you copy?"

"I copy. Do you have the penguin? Over." The walkie talkie buzzed back.

"Affirmative. We have the penguin. Repeat, we have the penguin. Maneuver the polar bear to rendezvous point. Over."

"...phrmrph phrm?" Andrew questioned...kinda.

"Understood. Clogging Lady out."

"Alright guys, lets deliver the penguin." Cory said.

John slung Andrew over his back and the strange group walked down the hall.

"Good lord, Andrew, ever hear of Atkins? Or fat free foods?"

In response to this, Andrew farted.

"Eugh."

They maneuvered through the hallways for a good five minutes. Andrew adjusted his head and saw that another group of people was approaching from the opposite direction. They seemed to have a similar prisoner, but Andrew was unable to tell who it was. Bradan cut the ropes constricting Andrew before John tossed him on the floor. Andrew shot to his feet and turned around, ready to kick some crotch, but before he could pursue his friends, he heard a voice behind him.

"Andrew?" The voice laughed. "Did you get tied up too?"

Andrew slowly turned around and saw...Alexandria. She was pulling ropes off of her legs. His heart bead wildly. His pupils shrank. Blood rushed to his face. He tried to speak, but he ended up looking like a fish out of water. FISHY-HA!

"Uhm...uh...er...gah...meh..."

"...Are you okay? You look like you just ran a mile." She laughed again. Her voice was more melodic than the chorus of a thousand angels, and her laugh was sweeter than the purest honey...what? I can be poetic sometimes...don't give me that look. I have a sensitive side, too.

"Uhm..I...uh..."

She stared at him. Her eyes were like oasises (oasises? is that a word?) in an endless desert, and they glittered like all the stars of a hundred night skies. Andrew had no idea what to do. -I have no idea what to do...-

I just said that, stupid.

"Well soo-oory."

"What?"

"Oh...uh...nothing, just...eh...talking to myself.

Bradan peeked around the corner and saw...nothing.

"Dammit! Andrew is blowing weeks of planning sky high. He won't say a damn thing to her."

Cory rubbed his chin, then spoke. "I have an idea."

Andrew continued to stutter like mad. He just found it difficult to talk. He looked up and saw...Bradan? Yes, Bradan was standing at the end of the hallway. He pulled on a peg leg and an eyepatch and ...jigged? -What the hell...? OH! I get it!-


"Um...Alexandria...you know, the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie just came out-"

"I know, I've been meaning to see it."

"And uh...I was wondering...if maybe...you wanted to go see it...with me...maybe...I guess...if you want...or not...it's fine either way..."

"You mean...like...a date...?"

Andrew stuttered his way through another sentence. "I guess...if you wanna consider it a date...that'd be fine...it's alright if you don't want to...really...I don't mind...you've probably got better things to do...it's okay..."

"No, I'd love to."

"...Y...you mean it?"

"Yeah. How about the 7:30 showing?"

"Sure."

"See you then." She turned and walked away. Andrew found it difficult not to look at her soft...

...full...

...curvy...

...hair. Yeah. As he turned to walk the other way, a voice rang out to him.

"Drew-kuuuuuuuun!"

Andrew cringed and braced himself for the inevitable.

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Woooo, that was a long one. I could have easily split that into 2 chapters. But I didn't. You guys keep reviewing and I'll keep cranking out AmeriKuri.

-Penguin Tsar