Sup ho's. VERY important chapter, here. It's kinda buried in weirdness, though. But then again, the symbolism in FLCL is buried in weirdness, too...so pay close attention, meh.
(o.o)Episode Three, Chapter 14: The Dream, Part A(o.o)
Bracing yourself to be rammed by Haruko is like holding up a piece of balsa wood to stop a train. It doesn't really help, and to add to the broken bones, you end up with splinters. She did sort of this swan dive thing and landed right on top of Andrew, flailing her arms and trying to balance there.
"Ack...get off me, woman! My frail nerdish body can't support your middle-weightedness!"
"Shut up and hold still!" She said as she crossed her legs around Andrew's stomach and squeezed.
"Urgh! Haruko, you're crushing my diaphragm!"
"I said shut...UP!" With that, she pressed her hand against Andrew's forehead, causing him to panic.
"NO! NONONO! NOOOOOOOOOO! OFF I SAY, OFF! KEEP YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OUT OF MY FOREHEAD, DEMON WOMAN!" Andrew bellowed whilst scrambling around and waving his arms in the air like an idiot.
"So obnoxious...shaddap!" Haruko muttered. She was beginning to wonder if maybe the kid was mental. Her hand finally pushed through his head, and she began rummaging around. Andrew's arms fell to his side as he reverted to a state of lethargy.
"Urrr...how about a warning next time you decide to shove your arm into my head?...meh..."
Haruko scoffed and stuck her arm in farther. Andrew's head was surprisingly empty, although it had been an entire day since she had hit him. She yanked her hand out of his head with a slight pop, then grabbed her guitar and raised it above her head. Andrew looked up just in time to see the Rickenbacker speeding towards him. -...goddammit...-
-LATER-
He awoke in the nurse's office for the second time in a week. He got up and walked out without bothering to alert the nurse. According to the clocks scattered haphazardly around the hallways, Andrew had missed all of his math class. No problems there. Math sucks anyways. Andrew wandered the hallways, consumed by a mixture of anger and depression. -Stupid adolescent mood swings. Stupid Rickenbacker. Stupid Haruko. That woman had no right invading and screwing up my perfectly normal life...my normal, mundane life...god, I feel like crap. Adolescence sucks like hell.- A bell rang somewhere and students began rushing through various doors on either side of Andrew. Many of the stopped and stared at Andrew, ogling at...something.
"And just what the hell are you all looking at?" Andrew snapped at the crowd. This shocked them and cause them to step back. Andrew wasn't much of a talker when he wasn't with his friends.
A random freshman called out "OHMAHGAHD! ANDREW KAISER SPOKE! AND HIS EARS ARE FREAKISH! THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!"
Andrew reached up and rubbed his ears. Nothing particularly strange there. What the hell was that kid talking about?
"BEGONE VERMIN! RETURN TO THE DARKNESS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!"
The crowd scattered, but not before Andrew heard several more comments about his ears.
"What is he doing?"
"Oh, they're so cuuuute!"
"He looks stupid."
Andrew paid no mind to anything and made his way to Honors English class. Yes, Andrew made honor lit. He's smart like that. Andrew walked through the door, and plopped down in his chair next to Cory's, though Cory wasn't there at the moment. His senses told him that the students here were staring and talking about his perfectly normal ears. Andrew blocked out any and all sound that reached his ears. He knew what was coming. The teacher was going on about some book that won a Pulitzer, and how something something about the Holocaust, and blah, blah, blah. The book wasn't that great, really. As the teacher droned on and on and on, Andrew found himself drifting off to sleep. He laid his head against the wall and closed his eyes. Everything went dark...duh...as he slipped into a dream.
Ever have one of those dreams that have no purpose whatsoever and are totally random and senseless? Yeah. The dream was full of penguins. Andrew was standing on a cloud, surrounded by the adorable little waddling thingies. Andrew approached one of the penguins and poked it. It squawked. Andrew began to laugh uncontrollably, as though this was the funniest thing he had ever heard.
"Heh heh...mmmphht...ha...poke the penguin..." He poked the penguin again. And again, and again, and again.
"Enough of your nonsense, stupid human." the penguin screeched at him.
Andrew rolled onto his back and laughed like an idiot, flailing his legs in the air. His eyes began to water and he rolled from side to side. After a good ten minutes of this, he calmed down and stood up. Andrew looked to the horizon and saw that there was a hill. He started to walk towards the hill, but then he decided to fly there. He was dreaming, after all. Andrew leaped high into the air...and fell on his ass. "Okeydokey, I'll walk then, meh." See Andrew. See Andrew walk. Walk, Andrew, walk.
"PUMPKIN PIE WITH CAJUN JERKY! FWEE!" Andrew said, because the author has a slight case of writer's block and the only way to fix it is a chapter full of randomness. Andrew scaled the hill and on top was...another penguin. And Canti, for some odd reason.
"Hallooooo, Mr. TV Robot Dude. Do you get the BBC on that thing? Hahaha..."
"Silence!" The penguin bellowed. It had a slight blue aura to it. Andrew pointed and laughed.
"Funny glowy talky pengy. Heh...ouchie." Andrew rubbed his cheek as a glove materialized out of nowhere and slapped him across the face.
"Demented human...we have important matters to discuss. Sit."
He did. Andrew sat and stared. The penguin stared. Canti stared.
"Sooo...about those important matters..." Andrew mumbled.
The penguin nodded. "Of course. Just waiting to see if the mania had worn off. You really must try to be away from Haruko a little more. Your mind has been so unbalanced that this was the first time I was able to contact you."
"It's not entirely Haruko. It's stupid adolescence."
"No, no. It is Haruko. Hefty amounts of interaction with her are causing you to adopt her habit of constantly changing your mood."
"Riiight...and how is that?"
"Err..." The penguin looked troubled. "It's because you're both left handed, let's leave it at that. The real explanation is very complicated, and you humans are...not the brightest species in the universe."
"Hmmph. What do you want with me, penguin?" Andrew questioned.
"Yes...about that...I am no penguin."
"Really."
"Yes, really."
"You look like a penguin to me."
"Well, I'm not a penguin, Mr. Smarty-Know-It-All-Face. I am the Star System Bandit, The One With Pure N.O., The Space Pirate King..."
"I have no idea what you just said, sorry."
The penguin/whatever sighed. "Pitiful, stupid human. I am your destiny. I am ultimate power. I am...Atomsk. Well, half of him at least."
CLIFFHANGER! HA HA!
Bwahaha. Oh, I almsot forgot. I've sprinkled various quotes from movies, tv and stuff in my story. Whoever can point out the most wins...er...I dunno. A cameo in an upcoming chapter? It's all I got... sayonara.
-Penguin Tsar
